Last year I had sex with the EX
SAFE sex I might add (let me just make that clear from the start)
But one thing I forgot to protect myself from was
Sexually Transmitted Diseases of the HEART.

Let me tell you the story...

See, we'd been apart for a while now
Our relationship ended amicably,
And even though we couldn't get along, we still had a lot of chemistry
Anyway, he was now with a new girlfriend and I was practicing celibacy
After my own long-term relationship ended bitterly.

But after two years of celibacy, I was feeling horny
And not wanting to sleep with just anybody
I thought of my EX.

Now I already knew he was taken, but that didn't stop me
See we still kept in contact and it was obvious from what he'd been telling me
That she wasn't loving him the way he needed to be
So I took it upon myself to give him some of what he'd been missing
And I invited him over for a 'cup of tea'.

Now he knew what he was getting himself into
So if it didn't bother him, it didn't bother me.

It wasn't long before we were kissing and touching
We forgot all about the original plan
We made love over and over again
I didn't stop until I'd had my fill and it felt soooo goooood!
"You're just as I remembered" he crooned.

It wasn't just sex, it was more like a re-connection
A deep spiritual connection, like what we'd had in the beginning?

But then, my ex reminded me about his girlfriend,
His 'other half' he had the nerve to exclaim
Like what we'd just shared meant nothing to him!

I broke my two year celibacy for a night of passion
(Well two nights actually)
But while I was having fun with him and feeling free
Releasing all my pent-up passion with multiple orgasms
I forgot that he didn't belong to me
He told me that he had no intention of breaking up with her
And that I should just see it for what it was meant to be
'A bit of fun'
How could he do that to me?

And what did it do for me really?
For a whole month, I was messed up
Mentally, emotionally, spiritually
It felt as if the very essence had been drained from me
It was as if the bad karma I'd created was coming back to haunt me!
I didn't know the woman, she didn't even know about me
But I wouldn't want my man going off sleeping with another woman
So why was I sowing those seeds?
'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'
That's the Law,
'What goes around comes around' is true.

It took a while for me to recover from my wrong,
To heal from the damage I'd done
But as time went on and I learnt the lesson
 I began focusing on developing my Self and making progression....

But then, who calls me up out of the blue?

My EX! (As they do)
Telling me how much he misses me and can we get together, "just us two"

Now sister-friends, 
When your ex calls you up telling you he wants to get together for old time's sake
You should take that as a warning
And take the quickest exit out of THAT conversation before you get drawn in,
You know what I mean?

Now what got me vex was that my ex ASSUMED I'd be up for it
He just wanted to have his cake and eat it!
He didn't even notice how much I'd grown spiritually,
All he was interested in was cheating on his woman, with me!

He thought I was that same silly girl he was dealing with a year ago (churps)
I had to tell him where to go!

So ladies, 
Next time you fancy some sex and you  think of your EX
Keep your fantasies in your panties where they belong,
And don't try to turn them into reality
You see life is a journey,
And relationships are simply stepping stones on your journey in life
And when you begin to realize them as such,
You want want to keep taking steps.......BACKWARDS.

Do you want to hear the ending to this story?

THIS year when my EX called me up
I told him;
"Next time you're feeling frisky,
Don't think of me
Don't call me, don't text me, don't even email me
See I'm not looking for a fling,
I'm looking for my King
And you already have your Queen"

I don't even feel sorry for him.

Sex with the EX didn't make much sense
But it certainly made a good.....poem.

Copyright Cezanne Poetess 2007 http://www.cezannepoetess.com

Sex With The EX

Even when crawling through life
The caterpillar still has the HEART of a butterfly
And still aspires to fly.

No matter where you are in life right now
Stay focused on your heart's desires
You can only rise as high as your aspirations
The sky is no limit - aim higher!

Are you ready to transform?

Coming near to your transformation time
You will find that you begin to eat ravenously
Devouring every bit of information you can get your hands on
That will help you to transform your Self
From the CATERPILLAR into the BUTTERFLY

When you've consumed so much that your body becomes heavy, and you're too bloated to move
You will shed your skin over and over again
This might be friends, relationships, situations that no longer fit the new person that you're becoming.

So turning into a chrysalis, you cocoon your Self from the outside world
The enclosing shell limits your freedom for the duration of the transformation;
Blocking off all negative influences like newspapers, radio and the tell-lie-vision

You find a sturdy branch to attach your Self to; 
A new belief system that actually serves you?

And hanging upside down, you see things from a different perspective
Now everything looks new!
Your old ways of thinking are changing
Your body fights to resist,
It doesn't want to change, but you do!

And so inside your cocoon a miracle is occurring;
As you focus on the person you wish to become
Visualizing your Self as a beautiful butterfly, flying
Tiny cells begin to form which are different from your caterpillar cells
What biologists call 'imaginal cells' begin to appear
Carrying different information
Vibrating at a different frequency to your old cells
Why?
They are operating at the frequency of the emerging butterfly!

At first, your immune system sees these new cells as enemies and tries to attack them
But your new cells are not deterred, 
They keep on growing, recognizing each other, 
bonding together into clusters.

When enough cells have formed and made structures along the new organizational lines
The caterpillar's immune system is overwhelmed,
And it's body becomes a nutritious concoction for the butterfly to feed on:
The OLD YOU is fading away, and the NEW YOU is emerging...

When you, the new butterfly are almost ready to emerge
Your chrysalis becomes transparent 
Your colours are apparent beneath the thin film that still covers you
Your home you feel you've outgrown
There's no longer a need for your constraining
You now know how to guard your subconscious mind.

Yet your struggle for freedom has an organic timing;
Were the chrysalis to open too soon you would die,
So trust the process, soon you will fly!

Once you have fully developed your new mental powers
You feel ready to take on the world
So fluttering, you open your right wing, 
Then your left wing,
And you fly away to dance amongst the flowers.....

~ Cezanne Poetess 2011
Music by MIC CHECK ONE (Soundcloud)

 http://www.journeyofasister.com


The Black Butterfly Effect

Who Am I?
I am a remnant of my ancestors
Torn from my Motherland
By the rape of slave traders.

Who Am I?

I am a watered-down version of an African Queen
My blood is diluted,
So mixed that it's now in-between
My skin is no longer its original colour;
Rich, dark, like Black Gold,
The colour of ....tar.

Yet still, I have Royal Blood flowing through my veins
For my ancestors were Kings, Queens, Rulers,
Inventors, Scientists, Leaders

I am the descendant of a Kemetic Dynasty
And I radiate my inner Divinity.

Who am I?

I am from a rare tribe of Black People
We're called 'Warriors'
For we do not give up the fight for our freedom
Stolen by Westerners
We seek to reclaim our culture, heritage and identity
Our mental strength and unity
For without them we can never be free.

We use the positive parts of our history
To break free from the chains of mental slavery
So we're not only PHYSICALLY but MENTALLY free

We THINK and ACT for ourselves,
Avoiding the need to be indoctrinated by religion,
Or negative media promoting Self-hatred

We have a sense of spirituality
And are not motivated by lust, worldly greed or money

We take responsibility for our children seriously
And we make a POSITIVE contribution to our community

So now the question is,
Who are YOU?
Are you from the same tribe as me?

(On the 'Seeds of Love' CD)

~ Cezanne Poetess 2008 
http://www.journeyofasister.com/poetry

Who Am I?

When we come together
We're like a river flowing effortlessly
Safe in your arms,
Your embrace is the only protection I need

But we both need time to grow, baby
To develop our Selves individually
So I'm giving you the space that you need
With no expectations from me....

(and I want you to know)

I trust you baby (repeat)
I know you've got your things to do,
And I've got mine too
So I'm giving you the space that you need 
With no expectations from me

cos we're in a place where love flows freely...

Guitar by Theo Calliste

'Trust' features in Year Three of Cezanne's Self-help novel 'Journey of a Sister', start the journey by reading Year One FREE at www.journeyofasister.com

Trust feat. Chi Bomani

I AM the Lord your God
The Holy One of Is-ra-el, you are Mine
I love you, and I want you to get to know Me
more personally, more intimately, 
So Call Me by My Name!
My name is Jehovah, JEHOVAH
The GREAT I AM
The Self Existent One
There is no other God like Me, in heaven or on earth
I keep My Covenant of Love with all who follow in My way,
Wholeheartedly
I keep My promises, and I fulfill My Spoken Word
So call Me by My Name!
I am Jehovah EL-ELYON
Your God, Most High Sovereign 
Worship Me in Spirit and in Truth
And call Me by My Name!
I Am IMMANUEL; I Am with you
I will never leave you, nor forsake you
So call Me by My Name!
I Am Jehovah MEKADDISHKEN
I sanctify you with My Word
And cleanse you from all unrighteousness 
So call Me by My Name!
I Am EL ROI, the God Who sees everything
You cannot hide from Me
So call Me by My Name!
I am Jehovah NISSI, your Banner;
I hide you under the shadow of My wing
So call Me by My Name!
I Am EL, your Strength;
MY strength is made perfect in YOUR weakness
So call upon Me by My Name!
I Am Jehovah  KANNA, a Jealous God
Do not put anything before me
Put Me first and acknowledge Me in everything you do,
And you WILL see My Glory!
I Am Jehovah SHAMMAH; I Am There with you
In every situation you go through
So call upon Me by Name and I Will save you.
I Am Jehovah JIREH, your Provider
I supply all your needs, according to My riches in Christ Jesus
So call Me by My Name.
I Am EL SHADDAI, God Almighty, and All Sufficient
In Me is everything you need
So call Me by My Name!
I am ADONNAI, your Lord and Master
Serve Me with a willing heart
and all that is Mine will be yours.
I Am Jehovah ROHI, your Shepherd
Follow Me, and I will lead you to pastures green,
and to an abundant life in Me.
Call upon Me by Name.
I Am ABBA, your Loving Heavenly Father
I love you unconditionally, I only want the best for you
So listen to and obey My Words,
And My Love will set you free.
I Am Jehovah SABAOTH, the Lord of Hosts
The angels bow down and worship Me
They carry out My Words, so speak them into your life
And you WILL see My glory!
I am Jehovah RAPHAH, your Healer
Call on Me and I will heal your body, and every area of your life
For I set the oppressed free.
I Am Jehovah MELEKH, your King
So crown Me Lord of your life, and praise Me
Then the riches of My kingdom will be yours
and you will never lack for anything.
I Am EL OLAM, the Everlasting God,
And I Love you with an Everlasting Love
So call upon Me in your time of need.
I Am ELOHIM, the God(s) who created everything
with My Word. And since you are made in My image,
You too have the power of Life and Death in your tongue
So speak LIFE and create your future with your WORDS!
I Am Jehovah TSIDKENU, your Righteousness
I have clothed you with garments of Salvation
And covered you with the Robe of Righteousness
You are in right standing with US because of what Jesus done on the cross.
I am Jehovah SHALOM, your Peace
My Peace which passes all understanding will guard your heart
and mind in your time of need,
So do not worry or be afraid, just call on Me
and you will see My Glory!
I Am JEHOVAH, your God
So call Me by My Name!

~ (dictated by Cezanne Poetess 2004)
Music by Noel Robinson

www.journeyofasister.com



Call Me By My Name!

Spoken Word with vocal & poetic verse Featuring Rob Li 

speaking my mind aloud

ALONE

“I Am What I WILL to Be!”

I am...Cezanne!
And I'm not just jumping on the "I Am..." bandwagon
Along with the likes of Beyonce, Nas and Slim
Because none of them took the time to explain the great significance
behind these two small words,
But in this poem, I will.

‘I AM’ are the two most powerful words in the universe,
Because anything following “I am...” is creative
Whether it is POSITIVE or NEGATIVE
So by using Positive Affirmations starting with "I am..."
You can steer your Self in the way you wish to go
(A Positive Affirmation is a strong statement
that something is ALREADY so).

Your WILL is the part of you that drives you
Either you control IT, or it controls YOU!
You can use your will to accomplish whatever you may
'Where there's a will there's a way' they say...

“I am... Cezanne!”
I can write
I can paint
I can dance
I can sing
I can do anything I put my mind to!
And so can you...

Years ago (long before it was actually so)
I began telling my Self;
“I am a brilliant and successful artist!”
“I am a prolific writer!”
“I am a first-class performer!”
 “I am mentally free!”
And now, 
I am what I WILLED to be!

Let me give you an idea how I train my subconscious mind
To believe the suggestions I make to it
So that IT co-operates with ME
By using my will-power with the power of “I am...”
I am in the process of changing everything about me
Recreating Who I Am and Who I wish to Be
So listen carefully...

“I am the master of all my thoughts and feelings”
Whatever I say my mind has to follow – I am the one in control!

“I am in a constant state of bliss”
By keeping my Self feeling happy,
I am attracting good things to me!

I am what I WILL to be!

“I am grateful for every little thing that happens to me”
My positive mental attitude of gratitude 
Helps me to see the good in every situation,
And opens the doors for me.

“I am in control of my destiny”
I don’t have a victim mentality
Every experience I go through only serves to give me the opportunity
To decide Who and What I will to be.

“I am strong”
I bend, but I don’t break.
I rise above every challenge that life throws at me
Metaphorically, I am like a tree planted by the rivers of water
That brings forth its fruit in due season
My leaf does wither,
And whatever I put my hands to PROSPERS!

“I am unique”
I am an extraordinary woman doing extraordinary things;
I THINK differently, ACT differently and SPEAK differently

I Am What I WILL to Be!

“I am a Truth-seeker and a Truth-speaker”
I know the Truth, and the Truth has set me FREE!
I am free to follow the path of Truth wherever it may lead...

“I am a born leader”
I have the ability to influence many
Through the various gifts and talents that have been given to me.

“I am an Advancing Personality”
And I WILL take all who wish to follow with me!

“I am a natural healer”
I have the power to heal with my hands,
My voice and the words I speak
My work sends out a healing energy.

I am what I WILL to be
And nothin’ or no-one ain’t stopping me! (rep)

“I am subject to change”
With me, nothing stays the same!
I am constantly moving, changing, evolving
Transforming my life into Who I Am 
And Who I Wish to Be!

“I am a channel”
The ancestors speak through me,
So listen carefully...

I am the Original Woman –
I was here first;
MAN came out of WOMAN
HE came out of SHE
MALE came out of FEMALE
And HE came out of HER
See, it’s hidden in the words!

“I am a True and Living Goddess”
That is, God in the flesh!
Made in the image and likeness of the Great I Am
I have the creative power of the universe at the tip of my tongue!
I can speak things into being
And when my thoughts, words and actions are aligned
All three unlock the creative power within me.
My body is my temple – sacred.
I am what I WILL to be!

“I am spiritual”
There’s more to me than meets the eye;
99% of me you cannot even see!
I am a Spirit, living in this body,
More Divine than human
Yet I use my body to express my Self perfectly.

I study Ancient Wisdom like a religion
Yet this ‘Higher Education’ cannot be gained from any university;

I am what I WILL to be.

“I am sexual”
Is it possible to be spiritual AND sexual?
Naturally!
As I awaken the Sex Goddess within me
I experience the joy of discovering
That sex is a natural form of healing,
And the fountain of youth;
I take sex seriously as I study
The Tantric secrets that link SEX to SPIRITUALITY;
And I find that to reach the highest heights
Real magic happens when I fully surrender;
And as I am renewed and recharged,
I radiate rejuvenating elixir for my partner!

“I am a great creator”
I can create from nothing but the raw materials of mental principles!
My sexual energy is the key to my creativity...

I am what I WILL to be!

“I am a genius”
Genius is developed through the Sixth Sense;
I stimulate my mind so it vibrates at a higher frequency
This enables me to tap into the faculty of my Creative Imagination
There I am able to see what others don’t see
I let my in-tuition guide me as I create SOMETHING out of NOTHING
Which is real creativity.

I am the creator AND the creation,
The giver AND the gift,
The teacher AND the student;
I learn as I teach,
I practice what I preach
I am compassionate and caring
Sensitive and sharing
I give unconditionally
Whether you give back to me
I give to those in need
I see money as a seed
What I sow I will reap
But I don’t give to receive
I am the Source,
Everything comes from me
And everything returns TO me
It’s just a Natural Law of the Universe!

I am what I WILL to be
And nothin’ or no-one ain’t stoppin’ me! (rep)

“I am a freedom-fighter”
I fight for the right to be free, daily!
I’m constantly breaking free from the mental chains of religion,
Mis-education and how society tells me I should be 

I’m always breaking boundaries,
Thinking OUTSIDE of the box
So don’t try to cage me into your way of thinking;
Who are YOU to tell ME what I should think, do and expect
Don’t you know I have my own spirit guides and intellect?
I will not be controlled by the will of another,
Not even my own black brother!
I have a mind of my own 
And a free will to use it,
My mind, I am the only one to control it!
If I didn’t ask for your advice,
What makes you think you should give it?
So you master your mind
And let me master mine
My will, not your will, be done!  (laughs)

Some call me an inspiration,
Others, an abomination!
People can think and say all kinds of things about me but

I am what I WILL to be
And nothin’ or no-one ain’t stoppin’ me! (rep)

“I am a Mastermind”
To think according to what you can see is easy,
But to think ‘Truth’ regardless of appearances requires mental tenacity;
I think thoughts of riches when faced with poverty
I think thoughts of perfect health when sickness attacks my body
I choose not to believe everything I hear or read in the newspapers and on t.v.
Because I know that this world is the EFFECT of our mentality
The CAUSE is our collective thoughts
But the work starts with me
To keep my thoughts on track every minute of every hour
So I can change my world from the inside out
I’m mastering my mind through my sheer will-power!

“I am a great success!”
Success in life is becoming what you choose to be
Not what society tells you you should be!
“I am great”
Not because I want others to serve me
But because I wish to be of service to others
And give to those in need
It is my will to give to the poor and needy
As Jesus would have said
“She that will be great among you,
Let her serve”.

I am what I WILL to be
And nothin’ or no-one ain’t stoppin’ me! (rep)

“I am a best-selling author”
I am changing millions of minds for the better
Through my books, art and poetry
I am what I WILL to be.

“I am goal-oriented” 
(Not time oriented)
Time is just an illusion;
In Truth the past, present and future are all in one
I believe in time-lines,
Not dead-lines
So I will reach my goals at the right time...

“I am a risk-taker”
I prefer the challenges of life
To the guaranteed existence
The thrill of fulfilment 
To the stale calm of Utopia.

“I am financially free”
I no longer wish to be a kept citizen
Humbled and dulled by having the government look after me
I will not trade my freedom for beneficence
Nor my dignity for a handout
I will support my Self and my children independently
I am what I WILL to be.

“I am a money-magnet”
Money comes to me easily and frequently
The flow of currency is always towards me.

“I am rich!”
There’s nothing wrong in desiring riches,
Desire is the seed which gives birth to reality
The LACK of money is what prevented me from fulfilling my destiny
Without money I could not have produced this CD,
Or bought the tools I need to express my Self freely,
I desire riches so that I can make the most of my Self; 
BE my best, DO my best, HAVE the best, 
To help my Self and others reach our potential, fully
So, I am what I WILL to be!

“I am a Queen – Royalty”
Health, wealth and abundance are mine
I have the right to be rich
It is my birthright
I was born to live an abundant life
To have the best of everything
I am a child of the King
Heir to the Kingdom of Heaven,
Which is within.

“I am in perfect health”;
Mind, spirit and body
“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy!”

“I am being the change I want to see”
As taught by Mahatma Ghandi,
Changing my world from the inside out
I am what I WILL to be.

I WILL my Self to wellness!
I WILL my Self to transformation!
I WILL my Self to claim the riches of God’s Kingdom!

What I will for my Self,
You can be too
All you have to do is tell your Self that you’re ‘it’ already
And soon you’ll become what you WILL to be!

Marcus Garvey gave the call for liberation
And now his place I fill:
“UP YOU MIGHTY PEOPLE,
YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU WILL!”

© Cezanne 2010 
Music by Dave Anderson

On the 'Seeds of Love' CD, get the CD with its Book of Lyrics from http://www.singlespiritualandsexual.com/Products.html

"I Am What I WILL to Be!"

Paul Carrick Brunson (AKA The real-life HITCH / The world’s TOP Relationship-Coach and Co-host of Oprah Winfrey's 'LoveTown USA'), talks to Award Winning Host...Ask Patricia about Relationships PRIOR to LAST YEAR's "The Big Conversation" Relationship Conference...

Whether single, ready, married, confused (...LOL...kidding) or in a 'I-dont-know type of situation', come down to "IT'S COMPLICATED (LIVE)" - Sunday 3rd March 5pm. Judging by the Guest Panel, Q&A time is going to be interesting! 


USA's Relationship Coach Paul Carrick Brunson - Talks with Ask Patricia

Made in a one take @completesilk

@redvesselofhonourred

iriصصisz - cruzin

Cezanne Poetess is a UK based Visual & Spoken Word Artist, and Author of the novel 'Journey of a Sister' which features her artwork and poetry, download Year One FREE at: www.journeyofasister.com
Cezanne won the title 'International Artist of the Year' in the Spokenword Billboard Awards (USA) in 2014.

Call Me By My Name!

Cezanne Poetess

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