an ode to 2017-2018 :)

I’ve held my tongue for way too long, I don’t know how to fight
But I’m not in the position I was in when we found my mind
I constructed whatever hell I’m in right now
And been stuck in this place for god knows how long now

I’m sorry shit ain’t goin your way, but I promise you I feel worse
I’m sorry that you’re limited by somethin else, but I couldn’t be fucked

It’s all so simple, all so great, it’s all so in front of you right?
It never worked out for me like that (x2)

ay it never worked for me like that (x4)
it’s all so simple

I know I’m apathetic, but I’m stuck inside myself
And all I can do is watch in horror as I wreak-
Everyone I know, they hate me, they don’t know
But one day their true colors will just show

I’m sorry shit ain’t goin your way, but I promise you I feel worse
I’m sorry that you’re limited by somethin else, but I couldn’t be fucked

It’s all so simple, all so great, it’s all so in front of you right?
It never worked out for me like that (x2)

Worse

Spotify

worse

lyrics:
please say something
i'm bleeding out
i'm not who you thought i was
and that disturbs you greatly

i'm bothered by myself
i'm bothered by you too
take me for example
it's not always about you.

-------------------------

more music in 2024 :)
thanks for stickin around

love,
eric :)

it's not always about you.

lyrics:
(all you care about is how high you can get and how good that'll feel)

i'm fallin apart again
i'm fallin apart again
i'm fallin apart again
yeah i'm fallin apart again

i'm not gonna work
how long i gotta work for the rest of this life?
how long i gotta live?
how long i gotta be this jerk? my demise'll
be my own fault
i'll be my own person, diggin my own grave and i
don't feel shame
i just wanna feel the same

i'm fallin apart again
i'm fallin apart again
i'm fallin apart again
yeah i'm fallin apart again

-----------------------------------------------------------

fallin apart again.

25 songs for 25 years :)

these 25 tracks were made anywhere from 2020 to 2025.
i always enjoyed listening to them as private tracks on here, but i never felt like they could be released.
i've finally decided to share a good chunk of those songs in honor of my 25th birthday.
also, there's a good bit more where this came from. and, yes, i'll drop those at some point too :)

thank you for your support
i hope to start dropping a bit more consistently, despite life being rather busy

i also want to thank all of my family and friends (especially make family not friends lol) for everything they've done to support me over the years.
big shoutout to james gorczyca for giving me the courage to drop something like this, as i never thought any of these tracks would see the light of day.
ultimately, i wouldn't be where i am if it weren't for listeners like you, so i'm forever grateful for you as well.

once again, thank you all very much. i couldn't have done this without you.

cheers,
eric checks <3

Stream

circle (demo)

places

sympathy

highrise

medical drama

you got to

final hour

besides

idgaf (demo)

night drive

there is no bright side

blurred the image bc its two gross open wounds
__________________________________________________
i got these sutures
i wanna lose em
i cant take em out on my own
everythings awful
until your arrival
until you arrive...

i got these sutures
i wanna lose em
now enter my skin, get in (no no)
everythings hopeless
im feelin hopeless
nobody helps me when i fall.

**this is an outtake of another song i'm dropping soon, called "what's up"**

sutures

lil flip of "take a picture" by filter
s/o to the folks that pushed me to drop this :)
we are so back it's unreal

picture

vocals by me. 
(don't expect rap vocals from me ever again though lol)

when you can't take it anymore two
coming july 17th.

These Are The Results

these are the results

callin this grunge jus to piss u off hehe :)

(special thanks to my great friend https://soundcloud.com/kel-killumanti for getting on the second verse)

Peril

peril ft. kel

No More.

*this song blows chunks lmaoooo*

sample | https://soundcloud.com/idl3times/left-on-read-prod-idole [rip this song i miss it so much]
[please go follow 97.Coast, he's an incredibly underrated vocalist/producer]

thank you.
just...
thank you.

Buy on iTunes

sleeping

vocals by @checksnbalances
produced by @ventingpalace + @checksnbalances
(sample | novo amor - colourway)

No one ever answered my prayers, so I let go of my false faith
I’ve hoped for better for a while now, but negativity remains where i bathe
I wish that you'd stop clawing at me, your messages are digging into me
I wish that i’d start blaming myself, lest I cause any more damage to my mental health
Home
All i can do now is run
Home
All i can do now is hide

mirage (co-prod venting palace)

nothing's comin of me
nothing's comin of me in this next year
nothing's comin of me
and when it fuckin does it's gonna be a wave of tears
grail of tears type shit, y'all already know what it is
cause i know that i've been left out of the equation entirely
even though i'm supposed to be the main focus

downpour

(you don't know what's happenin, you ain gonna be ready for this shit)

no one's gonna hear ya
no one's gonna think about you in a year
no one's gonna hear ya
and when they fuckin do, it's gonna be too late
found the body, there it is, damn it's fuckin mutilated
whatever, it's fine, move on, he's gone
it don't matter to me anymore, not like he ever had a fuckin purpose

downpour

PERMILLE - EP

Downpour

downpour

nahhhh yall dont need lyrics, the hook is the only important part lol

inspired by: https://soundcloud.com/glocomply/if-i-leave

(love yall <333)

Enemy

enemy

featuring @idl3times

I can't bear with leaving you
The ruse, yeah you saw it through
I can tear through memories with you
My heart has officially been split into two
I cannot bear with leaving you
The disguise, yeah you saw it through
I can rip myself apart and let chaos ensue
My heart has officially been split into two

Heartbreak (feat. 97.coast)

heartbreak ft. 97.coast

Call Me (feat. Venting Palace)

call me ft. venting palace

we've sealed the deal.
produced by me.

original: https://soundcloud.com/bruhmanegoddd/wrath-attraction-prod-ak?si=5d8298caaf4e435e849fe9985b8c5efc&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

<333

love,
eric

wrath attraction (bruhmanegod cover)

Scarlet was her room
A place of privacy now tells a tale of gloom
Seemingly splattered carelessly, so hazardously
She had no purpose here, so who’s to say this is a tragedy?

Hope to spot red rain roll down your cheeks one day
Soon you’ll learn to accept your purpose is to drown and decay
You’ve proven that you’re a cold-hearted cunt, harlot
Cannot wait for the day that you and all your loved ones are covered in scarlet

happy valentines day!

(sample: https://soundcloud.com/greaveme/eastsound)

love,
eric

Scarlet

scarlet

produced by @checksnbalances & @wolcifer

s/o pusheen!

love,
eric

pusheen! (co-prod wolcifer)

Winter Break (feat. Bruhmanegod)

winter break ft. bruhmanegod

(yes, the title used to be the other way around lol)

lyrics:
dark circles lurk beneath my lower eyelids
as the world as i know it crumbles to rubble around me
nothing but trouble will ever come from me
no one but evil ones will ever cross my weary gaze

i don't wanna do this shit no more
said that way too many times before
bitch, i don't wanna do this no more
i'm tired of all this shit, i'm tired of all this shit

i'm tired of all you people, all you fictional characters
tryna run around and talk about all this bullshit
tired of yelling, tired of yelling, tired of y'all motherfuckers
IT'S THE SAME SHIT EVERY DAY, BUT A DIFFERENT FILTER.

It Never Ends (Unwell)

unwell (it never ends)

if i thought there was something that i could say
to salvage this you know i would
though the words may not be here today
if you think you wanna wait you should
there you were, waiting patiently for a sign
there i was, wonderin if i'll ever find

the right voice, the right thought, the right path
i'm so lost
the right voice, the right thought, the right path
i'm too exhausted

(this song is just about being tired of constant mental clutter n shit of that sort... yfm???)

:):):):):):):):):):):)

love,
eric :)

lost

untitled love song

"Whatever"
Vocals & Production by Checks + Blckk

Verse 1: @blckk | https://twitter.com/BLCKK_0
Verse 2: @checksnbalances | https://twitter.com/checkspermille

[lyrics will be posted soon {or never idk}]

(btw, we waited almost a year to drop this one... oops lmao)

ep soon <333

love,
eric :)

Whatever

whatever w/ blckk

(intro)
do not come around me
i want 20 more epiphanies to come and go
what they mean, i'll never know
you’re lack of empathy is astounding
i’m fixin myself right quick,
though you wouldn’t care to know

(hook)
you only care when it’s convenient
think I’ve fuckin lost it? you ain seen shit
you only give a fuck if I go public
what am I to you? can’t tell no more,
1: that’s fine, you can get-
(repeat hook)
2: that’s fine, you can get cut, shit

thank you all very much for making this year so great!
see you all in 2020!

love,
eric :)

Epiphanies

epiphanies

original: https://soundcloud.com/sybyr/get-it-off-me

prod. https://soundcloud.com/lordlandfill (all chops + adjustments by me)

if u understand the joke i made 4 seconds in hmu cuz we both degenerates.

haven't slept in 3 days.
no corny shit, this is how it feels.

anyways, i love u guys!
lots of new music coming this week <33333

love,
eric checks :)

get cut (sybyr-get it off me rmx)

Where Did You Go?

where did you go?

made this in a couple hours, hope u like and always remember to love urself :)

i love myself :)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D724j_t_JI)

you seem so out of reach
but i can see how we can achieve
anything i set my
heart to, my heart to (ooo)
oh baby you don't know me well 
enough to say these things, i know

whatever you want
is my command

_____________________________________________________

indescribable
that is how i feel

love,
eric checks

Visualizer

almost

i hope you enjoy! please be safe out there and always remember that you are loved :)

love,
eric checks <333

i've let you down

[lyrics]

(verse 1 | @danielsgone)

ambitious wishes
my brain has been left in stitches
need coverage i need a blindfold
to protect from these black mold
zombies tryna make my breath cold
its bold of you to say so

i wish i had that confidence 
to speak against my control
locked away inside the console
with my voice under the threshold 

so much pressure on my mind wrinkles my skin and makes my flesh old

hold
yes my ambition makes me fold
reverting diamonds into coal
i smash my face into the pole
and break my nose
once i think im on roll
the earth it starts to swallow whole
as if destruction is its goal

i am gold
i am mold

(verse 2 | checks)

I got no motivation so fuck it imma cave in
and let em all know I’m insane, shit is dishonest,
a concept of which I’m not the fondest of,
Scott free I got off,
upon arrival tryna finalize
how I’m perceived in the world’s (eyes/lies) how I do it,
find another way through it, 
clenched my fists and threw my old self away, 
wanna convey this shit ain okay I just wanna be myself, 
but that’s what I say every day, this shit ain goin nowhere, 
blah blah blah something about “decay”

you only wanna ____ :) so you can tell us how much u wanna ___ :(, 
full on farce you say you got no drive, 
fall off so you can thrive, you conniving, 
thus you drivin right in, divin into a blight-riddled ocean, 
the very notion that you’re fakin it do not ever get questioned, 
you’ll get defensive actin like you on the fence hence, 
take offense when you compared to yourself,
thinkin that outdated falsification finna be what’ll help em make it, 
but you breakin in on the inside takin drugs, painful styes, 
doin somethin that makes you alone excited sounds like it is worth a try
...but you’d rather pretend-


[thank you for your patience and continued support.]

love,
eric :)

Ambition (feat. Daniels Gone)

sourcewave

@MFNF

all inquiries: ericchecks@gmail.com

checks

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