To be frank I must admit to this rather tearful week/day that is supposed to celebrate my 21st year of existence - April/May 2017

Take a bottle
Would you share with me
Or is it too much just 
To wander for a solid hour 
Take another day to celebrate
The aching trouble that I am

It’s not a state
It’s a burden that I can’t escape
A vacant place, treaded to commemorate 
My illusory memories; distorted
For who I am 

For who I am
The wandering, aching, coward
The selfish, loveless horror
I’m of fragility, sheltered from
The kindness of the world 
For who I am 
The wandering, aching, coward
The paralyzing horror
Of my love to all the aching
So I bind myself, 
Cry to myself, 
And wish myself
Another year to
Grow

Bear with me
Or I’ll pride myself with vanity (or)
The value of my silence just to calibrate
Delusions I can calculate; they wring me
For who I am

For who I am
The wandering, aching, coward
The selfish, loveless horror
I’m of fragility, sheltered from
The kindness of the world 
For who I am 
The wandering, aching, coward
The paralyzing horror
Of my love to all the aching
So I bind myself, 
Cry to myself, 
And wish myself
Another year to
Grow with my emotions
Will I grow

"有種成熟 名叫墜落凡塵"

thank you for listening and trying to know me as a musician.
lol hai.

21

christy l.