Everybody rappin’ and talkin’ ‘bout nothin’ 
and makin’ them sexy sounds
And in the mean time and in between time 
I’m down here on the ground
Well now I’m not complaining about what’s pertaining 
to my problem status quo
Eh but things ‘re getting hard, oeh my God 
Inflation, I know you know, listen

Now just yesterday, I’d like to say, 
before I got outo’ my bed
Now I was already tired on the for-real side 
and a few bills I forgot to pay
Now my phone rang and a cute little girl 
began to sing this tune
She said mister Watson your phone 
gets turned of at noon

Now that came to me as no surprise 
‘cause last week I went up the coast
I met a cute litlle girl that was all the way ‘live 
and calling her I thought was the most
She had them great big eyes and them great big legs 
and it gave my body a chill
So you know I never thought about the cost of no ,,,..telephone bill

So I Just kept on rappin’, my hands kept clapping’
havin’ myself a ball
Eh eh you know it slipped my mind at the same time 
I was making a long distance call
So that day before yesterday I ran into the problem
Just makin’ them callers and hallers
And I picked up the envelop that contained my bill
guess what: 500 dollars!

Now the next time I call this big legged cutie 
to make myself a date
I’m gonna call that girl way after nine,
getting me the evening rate
Now, I ain’t gonna tell her, ain’t tellin’ her nothin’ 
blow my front thing
But it’ll be way way way after nine 
when she’ll hear her telephone ring

Ring it, ring it. Ring that telephone. 
Why don’t you ring it, ring it. Ring that telephone
 Ring it, ring it. Have yourself a thrill
And when you ring it, ring it. Watch your phone bill.

Now I paid the bill and the deal was real 
and my talkin’ resumed and all
Oh, oh, I said from now on pall:
I’m gonne stick to my local calls
Now a few weeks passed and I Wòuld just guess, … 
you know what I’m talkin’ about
I say…. when I got the bill the figure was so low
I was impressed, knocked me out

Now shortly that after somethin’ stopped my laughter
I was outside diggin’ in the yard 
I heard a ding and I heard a dong 
it was the phone oeh my lord
Now I dropped my shovel and my body I levelled
and I made me a 100 yard dash
And then I straightened out my clothes 
and I blew my nose to a Kleenex in the trash

I composed myself and I picked up the phone 
and I was still kind o’ huffin’ and puffin’
The operator said Would you except a collect call
I said Ain’t that nothin’
But if I was just cool ‘cause you know I don’t wanna be no fool and see I didn’t know who it was
It was the big legged cuty from uh-up the coast tellin’ me that she was in love

Now for three whole minutes I planned to talk,
now, y’all know I never lie
But in love or not I planned to stop 
when the third minute arrives
So when three minutes passed it occurred to me
oeh she might talk a week
I I say I’m sorry babe I gotto go
She was a telephone freak

She said Oh Johnny talk a little longer
With you I’m so in love.
I say I know where y’ comin’ from
I can dig it I got to go rehearse at the club
She said well if you got to go rehearse I call you later 
There’s some I got to tell you what’s on my mind
I said yeah well okay baby you can call back my 
any time after nine

Ring it, ring it. Ring that telephone. 
Why don’t you ring it, ring it. Ring that telephone
And when you ring it, ring it. Have yourself a thrill
But when you ring it, ring it. Watch your phone bill.

Telephone Bill (Johnny Guitar Watson) performed by me

Tribute to the transcendent Johnny Guitar Watson

Ain't That A Bitch (Chris)

Morning diary

This is a pre-production song from my band with me on the bass guitar.

Enjoy!

Telephone Bill (Johnny Guitar Watson) performed by me

Chris Groothoff

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