and these seconds go by like they’re nothing 
and precious is time but means nothing to me 
and these minutes rain down and cause flooding 
my waterproof coat hides the heart on my sleeve 

and i met her last year through her cousin 
it was april or may i don’t know honestly
i was away with the fairies all morning 
and we texted all day and it felt like a dream

now this time i once spent with my darling 
means nothing to her or to me 
oh my god 
how embarrassing for me was blubbing
in front of her mom and like 3 of her friends

and i guess ill be there if you need me 
you don’t have to fake to please me
you can talk to me so sweetly
or pretend that this is easy
it’s a daily rock bottom
so i drown my pain in weed leaves
10KG weights, and tea leaves
and when you hurt me kill discretely, please 

(greenwood)
try to parse through the things that you said
crossed over Madison, i loved you to death
stayed in the winter despite what i need
but we never made it to august heat
eyes on the valley, you asked me to wait
ask of the baggage, it's as is you care
still keep the coat that i got you in spring
i still keep the pictures i'm not even in

i still keep the pictures i’m not even in w/ greenwood (pekarot)

B ITTERSWEET ft. guardin

unreleased 9tails
i never make the cut anymore

9TAILS - the cut (prod. mydepression)

ammends (tuah) #FREEALIBANDZ (prod. kenzee)

move to the back of the room now
we up in the mood now
crack out the ooze now

rooftop pool with the moon out
thirty story inground
girl if you come right here you’ll see it’s not really that cold out

blowin steam you better back that shit the fuck up
(back that shit the fuck up)
i don’t smoke no vape
i just blow on blunts
i don’t flex no bape
bet you look so bum
i don’t got no apes
i got old damn ones
i don’t got no girlfriend
but i fucked yours once
they want me to give them handouts
how come iont get one?

mathematics (prod. killedmyself)

ty 4 listening

Lyrics
-
You don’t know me at all
Wait til you witness the fall
I’ve got these scars on my arms
From where you tore me apart

Just wanna get in the car
And drive as far as I can
I’m just a shell of a man
I’m just a corpse tryna stand

Kill the pain
But it’s hard with these hands of mine
I shake too much when I grip that knife
I don’t know how the fuck im supposed to live my life
I don’t mind but I don’t mind

You could tell me that this lasts forever but I
Wouldn’t lie you shouldn’t lie

You could tell me that it’s now or never but I
I’m Trapped inside, I’m trapped inside 

Say I’m okay but I’m sick of it baby
I miss the times when your voice didn’t break me
I think I’m sick of my own hesitation
Constantly changing, I fucking hate me
Hoping this dagger will save me
Dripping this blood off my wrist
I feel like shit
I got a stain on my fit
Finding a vein and I’m hitting a crit

You don’t know me at all
Wait til you witness the fall
I’ve got these scars on my arms
From where you tore me apart

Just wanna get in the car
And drive as far as I can
I’m just a shell of a man
I’m just a corpse tryna stand

Kill the pain
But it’s hard with these hands of mine
I shake too much when I grip that knife
I don’t know how the fuck im supposed to live my life
I don’t mind but I don’t mind

trapped (godonline)

Lyrics-

I said I’m fine 
Like fuck ok 
What do you want from me 
I locked myself in here and I don’t want no company 
The silent sense of solitude was kinda comforting 
The end is just outside 
This time I feel that it has come for me 

 I just  can’t escape 
All of the calamity thrown in my face 
Shit I got enough on my plate 
But i eat it up and dont leave non to waste 
And honestly id rather rot in this hell
Than ever step foot inch’s out of my shell
Im comfortable here as if you couldn’t tell 
Now I’m getting tired of repeating myself 

I said I’m fine 
Like fuck ok 
What do you want from me 
I locked myself in here and I don’t want no company 
The silent sense of solitude was kinda comforting 
The end is just outside 
This time I feel that it has come for me

calamity p. wraithontheporch

honestly never really processed you were gone, but day by day i get closer to accepting it.

Lyrics:

S/M, & NTR, this shit was far from proper love
you know i did some self reflecting and what i felt 
it wasn't lust
oh i been missing you and lately i can't even fill my cup
only upping
higher dosages i hope they fuck me up
don't even look at other women even now at 14 months
you've seeded so deep in my head i feel like i can't even drop
i've written many songs in past tense and i'll prolly write some more
maybe spend my whole life coping bout the girl i wanted more

i guess the chapter closed a while ago it's time to end it off
but i've got fear of letting go and i can't take another loss
i know you'll probably listen in
i know you'll probably hear this song
i'm taking something over nothing cuz your memory is all i got
a couple friends i made since knowing you could vouch
that i wasn't doing well for a while by myself
and even through it all i honest really wish you well
and if you haven't hope you get shit figured out <3

rumination (prod. whyke)

P. nomansland 

Support my friend enyu!

https://on.soundcloud.com/qUpx1yH6fYpXyzuuwE


Lyrics~

(Swamp) 

My lifes in a spiral 
And I just can’t seem to catch a break
When I tried this shit the passive way 
they hit me at a faster pace 
It was a massacre up there on that caligo hill
Sends A shiver down your serabelem, signal the chills 

Ok yeah I’m back up on attack, there’s just no foldin us 
Grab that ammo load it up 
It’s gettin kinda quiet on this California western front 
Give it all you can until you can’t and hope the war is almost done 
Shell shocked, you’ve had enough 

There you go, you’re telling yourself that never again 
Will you put you’re life on the edge for something that somebody said 
The battle goes on in your head 
And shurly you’ll face a certain death 
But I guess you love that shit because you never left 

(Enyu)

Loaded chambers caught in a deadlock
choke on me like a tight knot
rewinding all of my future plans
hailing down on me till my heart stop
yeah, but i’m still in it
guess i’m twisted
drawn to where i fucking bled
need some god to grant my wishes
rather than be fucking dead

i scrape my wounds when its dark
a shiver down my extremities
and while the whole world fell apart
i stand upfront with serenity
and when I turn around
the time has come for confession
to learn a beautiful lesson
i’m heading outbound
to fend off my imperfections

(Swamp)

Hopefully when the dust settles I’ll be alright 
All intact and alive 
The only loss being time 
Trying to figure out another way to save myself 
From the war in my head, it’s been a living hell

never ending spiral w/ enyu

CHRI$TIAN-Tweaking out in public

lyrics:

Its Tough luck tough love

How many people i try to become I been stuffing inside of my body
Some of them pieces of shit well probably
I keep so many in here its an army
And If they could hurt u, theyd probably harm me
Already on purpose they emotionally carved me
So I kept all the shit inside me
And it just keep ulcering out of my body

Animal masks step foot in the lobby
I had cast spells thats banned and they got me im fucked
Oh but Peeling back skin is my hobby
I pull the skin from my pinky to palm 
So What is the problem in here whats the qualm
80 bpm my heart I am calm
I killed a man in the winter 06 
And I had been wearing the same clothes since
But Its too hard lie now
I knew someone’d find out
I kept all his things and
I dress up and play house
That saran wrap body
Its my only friend now
Hes got strong opinions
Ones I aim to shut out
When the smell is fucked up
And my neighbours riled
Ill just blow his skull back
And wear him a while
All this blood had filled the eye holes
Im so out of style
I just Fit my feet in his feet
Now I wear his smile
And What do you do all night while im up at work
I see you sit back tongue tied tryna find the words
To try and ask me why exactly im not home at dusk
Girl just ask me cause ive spent years just carrying on for us

How many people i try to become I been stuffing inside of my body
Some of them pieces of shit well probably
I keep so many in here its an army
And If they could hurt u, theyd probably harm me
Already on purpose they emotionally carved me
So I kept all the shit inside me
And it just keep ulcering out of my body

Tough luck and tough love
Tough luck tough love

winter of 06 (eric godlow)



CHRI$TIAN creates a powerful blend of emo rap, trap, and 2000s emo with underground energy, crafting music that’s atmospheric, raw, and deeply emotional. His sound is built on a foundation of vulnerability and grit, exploring themes of heartbreak, isolation, and self-reflection. With moody production and honest storytelling, CHRI$TIAN’s music pulls listeners into a world of introspection and resilience, offering an authentic space to feel and heal. Tracks like growing pains / persephone and On My Own showcase his ability to balance melancholy with strength, making each song a compelling emotional journey.
