Written Paul McMahon (RIP).
Produced & Arranged Ciaran McCann.

We played this in our band Asgudaas the Cat in mid 90's, that's 1990's!!!
I re-recorded it approx 2007 using Sonar DAW (Digital Audio Workstation on PC) with programmed drums, bass and sax.
I played REAL guitars and sang with my REAL voice!!! (No auto-tune, obviously!)
Some people say the sax is out of tune… I like it that way!!!

State of Mind

You put your hand on the window and it leaves a mark
I wish I could make the same impression on you
Like a paperback novel with a transparent plot
I've read the last page and it's just as I thought

It's all so much like children's games
We're throwing barbs and calling names
We bend the rules and act like fools
I guess it's just our state of mind

It's better to be certain than to reget
It's certainly better to lose nothing at all
In this situation well you've lost nothing
One things for certain where there's pain there's gain

It's all so much like children's games
We're throwing barbs and calling names
We bend the rules and act like fools
I guess it's just our state of mind

It's not supposed to be an unpleasant ordeal
The more you do it the more you feel
The pleasure is often hard to define
The consequences are largely benign

It's all so much like children's games
We're throwing barbs and calling names
We bend the rules and act like fools
I guess it's just our state of mind

©Paul McMahon 1993

State of Mind

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Uploading some old stuff for fun/posterity/'5 minutes of fame' etc.
Did some of these back in late 80's using a Casio home keyboard (hence the drum sound!), guitar and a Tascam 244 Portastudio.
These recordings are taken from an original stereo master mixdown from the portastudio to a TDK normal D60 tape. Dolby C was applied in the original mixdown.
There where a number of dropouts that I have reduced so some songs may seem to ‘skip’. I EQ’ed some of the songs as they had become muffled over the years.
Others done in 90's early 2000's using a variety of equipment but ALL done in me bedroom/living room!

And now....

<b>“ CRYING”</b>

a story by

“Ciarán Steve Hanako Kann Blue”


A teardrop falls…..,

I'm suspended between myself and I looking down or is it up a long brightly lit tunnel. At the foremost of this tunnel is a sign it reads “ FUTURE”. It is very large and out of proportion.

I feel a presence behind me like someone lurking in a dark corner waiting to jump out at me. I turn. Another tunnel confronts me. This time dark. I can't tell how long or short it is. Slowly I begin to make out a sign at the entrance, in proportion this time. It reads “ PAST” and then disappears.  A time passes…………………....,



………………………………………………………..and it becomes obvious to me that I have to move from where I'm standing as I'm drowning in my thoughts. I consider for a moment, tick tock, tick tock, look at the hands on the clock. I'm choosing and happenings are happening in the dark tunnel. I stare deeply, to deeply.

Someone's laughing, or crying, or laughing and crying at the same time. He seems to have no face, no purpose, no life yet he seems alive, barely, and familiar. It hurts me. He's naked and cold and is stopping people asking them for warmth. Some stop and give him warmth, but they burn him after.

He cries, or is it laughs harder.

He gets burned until he's just one big white burn, so becoming immune to being burned. He calls himself Fire. Fire walks for a while and comes upon a robin red breast. Its feathers are stuck together with frost and its beak is broken. It has only one leg to stand on, and this is sprained. Altogether it's just a little bit down and out! Fire is filled with pity for the robin red breast so with all good intentions he lifts it, gingerly, to bring it to his home and mend it but to his horror it bursts into flames. He cries for what he has done and his tears quench the flames. The robin filled with love and gratification towards Fire for putting out the flames, thanks him. Fire kisses the robin, but again it bursts into flames and again Fire cries so putting out the flames. The robin red breast is dead. Fire cries and puts himself out.

I jump back feeling rather warm and sweating a bit. My mind is made up (of little bits of mattering). I choose to delve into the brightly lit tunnel avoiding the horrors of the dark tunnel, which seemed to linger in my mind like mattering, flattering, chattering too much again.

Putting these feelings into the cesspits of my memory I step forward onto the doorstep or tunnel step of a new thought. At this moment a clock without any hands says to me “ that's right boy forget the past move forward”. I smile and my face breaks into pieces.

As this happens I feel some force behind me and I'm pushed and I find myself at a cross tunnels. The tunnel to the right has a steep staircase leading up which is laid with deep pile carpet. At the summit of the staircase there is a brilliant white light making everything look like a Daz advertisement. The tunnel to the left has a smooth slide leading down into a darkness darker than black. I think to myself “ it's easy to go when you don’t know, whose leading the show ”. After all that's happened I'm feeling rather tired so I don't like the look of the staircase. I jump onto the slide and WHIZZ. Slowly I stop suddenly and I seem to be engulfed in a mysterious not colour. I think “I'm dead” but just then a fork says to me “not likely son, you're being paid for what you've done!”.
Someone I've never seen before touches me and I seem to recognise him as an old friend.
“ Hel-low-er than the sea”. His words don't make sense to me, but I know what to answer, I always did but the answer was hid. Now I've seen the show I wish to go. This idea lingers on my tongue until it is cut out and I'm left speechless, dumbfounded as they say. My old friend turns out to be called “ Desire”. He takes me down or is it up a passageway and there at THE END or is it the start of it he introduces me to a thing person called Fire. I seem to recall this thing person from an existence now lost to me. I shake his hand and he disappears taking with him everything around me. But I can still see it all as I wipe it away from my eye, but another teardrop will fall by and by.



“ CRYING”
© 1980
Ciarán McCann

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Looking to spark up that connection. My songs are sparks, stories. Some true, some half true, made up, some from the news. What makes us human is that need for a connection, that is ever present in my songs..

Here are some original songs I recorded in 2006.

Stanford Cruel (formerly ROSEM) weaves dark, atmospheric soundscapes that draw you into a world of haunting beauty. Hailing from Denver, USA, this solo artist crafts deeply emotional, intimate music that feels both personal and universal, born from experiences of profound loss. Their vocals are raw, yet soothing, balancing melancholic introspection with fleeting moments of hope. Influenced by the likes of Deftones, The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, and Depeche Mode, Stanford Cruel creates a sonic landscape that feels both timeless and deeply modern. After years of keeping their art close, they've emerged with a twenty-track journey that encapsulates their unique sound and unapologetic songwriting. The result? A raw, unfiltered glimpse into a world of bittersweet catharsis that has already earned them top spots on platforms like Reverbnation. For those who live for music that resonates with heartache and healing in equal measure, Stanford Cruel’s music is an invitation into a world all its own.

Born and bred in Belfast I was musically active between 1984 and 1993 in a number of bands and musical forms. I wrote over 150 songs during that time and recorded over 200 tracks in various studios in the UK. None of the my material has ever been released and the vast majority of it has not been heard by anyone for more than twenty years. Read my story at http://unsignedartist.wordpress.com

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All material subject to copyright  
All tracks are available for you to download for free


I have been making music for 15 years Im am very passionate about everything I do especially when it comes down to my music. Truth be told music comes before a lot of things and people in my life because when no one was there for me my music was I have a spiritual connection with music. 




 My styles and many different sounds are sporadic and can vary meaning it can  change at anytime I don't have one distinct sound. One day you may hear R&B the next you may hear trap music in other words there's no limit to my sound

      The music I create is based off of life experiences from what I have either seen or been thru. My music lets people know how I view things and how I feel about alot of situations not just in my life but in the world too. I have surpassed alot of trails and tribulations and music is like my therapy and relieves me its a platform to share my pain. I feel like these experiences help mold me into who I am today so I can never regret my struggle because it only fueled me and made me stronger, That's why I do music to share these experiences with you all. I'm pretty sure a lot of people can related to alot of what I state in my songs, That's why I do this because one of my tracks could help someone or either turn someones whole day for the better and that alone would make me feel good knowing that I can help other people just by the messages I bring through my music,

Open to collabs.............. gleetchibookings@gmail.com

I hope everyone enjoys the music that I post please comment, like and repost I will definitely return the favor it would be greatly appreciated

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State of Mind

CiaranBlue