A huge thanks, to Bako and Novacaine for helping me engineer the track and teaching me a lot about mixing and mastering. Taking my playing to the god tier level.
You can find Bako here 
Sound Design and production by: Bakobiibizo https://linktr.ee/bakobiibizo

Break Me

For my soul

Apollo's Sanctuary

Thunder  (ft lakey)[prod. Lean Teen]

I haven’t seen u since the summer live band

I spoke alongside Natalie Fenton, Will Davies, Jeremy Gilbert and Alex Williams at an event on Jeremy and Alex's excellent book Hegemony Now. The theme of the talk was hegemony, work and political organising under neoliberalism. I introduced the term "entrepreneurial leftism" to describe contemporary trends in radical left activism and point to a correspondence between experiences of work and orientations to political activity.

"Entrepreneurial leftism"

I CAN RAP (Freestyle) ft. DEZZ

Transcript

WANDA JOHNSON: My name is Wanda Johnson. I'm the mother of Oscar Grant that was killed January 1st, 2009, at the Fruitvale BART Station in Oakland, California.

ABRAM JACKSON: Oscar Grant was shot in the back and killed by a BART police officer that night. This sculpture, titled “Youth Mourning”, is especially resonant for his mother. 

WANDA JOHNSON: When he was killed, this “Youth Mourning” was his friends. Mourning for the loss of a loved one. Mourning for the loss of a friend, mourning for the loss of a family member. Never to go back, to be able to call this person and talk to this person. Never to go back, to be able to joke and laugh and eat with this person. But now, having to face being alone. 

They laid on the platform and at the hospital, mourning, all of us mourning, but having the question of why? 

“Youth Mourning” seems to read: I should have peace. I should be able to live in freedom, not have to cover up who I am, being identified and targeted because of my appearance. I shouldn't have to have a hoodie on or a hat on, so that you can't see the real me.

I begin to think about how so many of our people have had so much strength and so much zeal and just different gifts and talents and abilities, but yet lose their lives senselessly. And now all those gifts, their talents, their bravery, is buried in the ground along with them. 

Like this “Youth Mourning”, many mornings, many evenings, this was me. Balling up, praying unto God. Why did it have to happen? And 13, 14 years later, that question still resonates - why did you have to pull out your gun and shoot him when it wasn't necessary? 

ABRAM JACKSON: When you’re done in this space, move through to the last, momentous room in the exhibition. I’ll meet you there to talk about the figure on horseback.  

Kehinde Wiley (American, born 1977), “Youth Mourning (El Hadji Malick Gueye),” After George Clausen, 1916, 2021. Bronze, 14 3/16 x 16 9/16 x 31 7/8 in., 136.69 lb. (36 x 42 x 81 cm, 62 kg), base: 35 7/16 x 25 9/16 x 40 3/8 in. (90 x 65 x 102.5 cm). © Kehinde Wiley. Courtesy of Galerie Templon, Paris. Photo: Ugo Carmeni

139 Youth Mourning, 2022, bronze

like a year ago i was watching arcane & thought, lemme write a song lmao here are the lyrics: 

i lay in darkness with a pillow on my head
i hate how bright the stars can shine above my bed
should have been light that burned too quickly but instead
i'm swallowed whole by the void inside my head

i've travelled for years back & forth in time & i
don't have the strength to even look her in the eye
can't even say that i've really even tried
it's getting hard to keep it all inside

now it's in my heart
now it's in my soul
am i getting cold?
am i growing old?

all of these battles with no winners one each side
am i all i have? am i the only one to fight?
it's all my fault i shouldn't ever let her die
i'll go back in time to try to keep her alive

my heart is broken for my inner child
i miss her so much i haven't seen her in a while
i feel the pain every time i see her smile
i wouldn't blame her if she turned hostile

now it's in my heart
now it's in my soul
am i getting cold?
am i growing old?

i lay in darkness with a pillow on my head
i hate how bright the stars can shine above my head
should have light that burned too quickly but instead
i'm swallowed whole by the void inside my head

i'm swallowed whole by the void inside my head

a @pinkpantheress type beat is always gonna do it for me lol so thank you @jisatsubeats for making this lil banger 

-ciel ♡

Inner Child

For Boston

Featuring:

1amdonny:
https://soundcloud.com/1amdonny
https://linktr.ee/1amdonny

20 Tabs Open:
https://soundcloud.com/20tabsopen
https://linktr.ee/20tabsopen

SAANÉ:
https://soundcloud.com/saama-sane
https://linktr.ee/SAANE777

Frostbite (ft. 1amdonny, 20 Tabs Open & SAANÉ)

In this episode Ru and Michelle are joined by Adore Delano. They discuss plastic surgery, drugs, touring, Saturn returns, Chris Crocker, and All Stars.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace and TodayTix.

Episode 106: Adore Delano

chrollo's lover, music maker & content creator ♡

Inner Child

Ciel

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