rest in peace 2003-2022 <3

i remember shaking on the couch
screaming till my lungs wore out
i had to be held down
everything quiet was so loud 

every so often i see someone 
who looks just how you used to
maybe a year or so older
like how you were supposed to 
 
you were once a kid
lost in the department store 
wonder what all this is for
im two years older than you were

probably from "songs for sleeping"

survived by

this wall will shatter
and the cuts will be dug out
disregard my health
cus i’m rotating in seconds
it’s beginning to turn, i’m not ready 

feeling immaterial, feeling immaterial
i’m thinking i should seal the deal but 
forget it
i pick it up where i left off

it is all my fault 
that i couldn’t own up to
through being so careless
cus i’m rotating in settings
it’s beginning to turn, i’m not ready

feeling immaterial, feeling immaterial
i’m thinking i should seal the deal but 
forget it
i get up where i left off

rotating in seconds

i watch you wander the country with a fist full of stars
building your towers of honey and breaking them apart
and darling you won't regret it if you give me a piece of your heart
cause i know you won't admit it but you're painting me over your scars

sitting in the light as it dawns, you're blossoming all the flowers
lay and watch the night as it falls, i lost count of all the hours
oh the world is a tape player, write me a song
and i'll sing it to you

we watch the planes disappear and the planets embark
making a wish on a chemtrail, on saturn or mars
and darling they're crossed again, but i'm the man who made everything hard
our magnetic confluence is nothing more than a wish on a star

i could be a spark in your eyes, the space where i fly is endless
there i'm just an old satellite, searching for my repentance
oh i've been flying forever and ain't found no god
but he's speaking through you

don't look down

https://ffm.to/alwayswere

cover art by noah geene https://temberl.in/ 

i think i see it in the distance 
___________________________________
always were, like you always were
its the rote screen door on your front porch 
where you fell asleep on the tile floor
but you've unstrung all your britching now

bite my tongue 'till it falls right off
its the tailgate on that fane barbwire 
trace the windshield as we drove for miles 
spurn the sauder on the backing line
and i swear i saw you standing at the edge 

and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 

forget it, forget it, the day is done
forget it, forget it, you saved it once
i get it, i get it, you've frayed and rubbed the velvet off your antlers

and it was beautiful 
and it was beautiful 

forget it, forget it, the day is done
forget it, forget it, you saved it once
i get it, i get it, you've frayed and rubbed the velvet off your antlers

always were

I ran home cuz I thought I was fired
And man all these joints are tired
And I said “wait” I was waiting for a serenade
Tell me everything about your damn day
Lay me out front if you threw a grenade
So why?
Do I seem distracted to you?
It’s beautiful to lay awake in my eyes

So watch it all be enough for you to take in
Watch it all be enough for you to let in
I tried to face the great divide
It only tired me out

11.6.23

The Great Divide

i keep clipping my tail on the curb
i keep spilling out onto the arrow
waiting until it don't hurt
yet my body's giving out all the errors

i'm holding together just fine
but it's hard to see things in straight lines
i'm trying to laugh about it, laugh aloud
i'm trying to laugh about it, level out

oooo, ooo

from under my green cat cap (meow), thinking about death
thinking about what i leave behind for my family
good lace on my left, and my dearest treble clef
i will give it up to you with my hands still trembling

hold me, tell me that things will be fine
anything to anchor me to real life
and we can laugh about it, laugh aloud
means we can laugh about it, laugh aloud

oooo, ooo
tell me that things will
tell me that
(meow)

laugh aloud

my heart's in the digital
and it keeps on beating for you
what should i do
with this electricity?
i don't have a clue, i don't, i don't have a clue
i wanna be with you, wanna be with you

my heart's in the digital, it beats for, beats for you

put my face against your screen for real
for real this time
that's all i ask
put my face against your screen for real
for real this time
just be mine, that's all i ask

my heart's in the digital, it beats for, beats for you

my heart's in the digital
and it keeps on beating for you
what should i do
with this electricity?
i don't have a clue, i don't, i don't have a clue
i wanna be with you, wanna be with you

what should i do

spent the summer of 2022 making this. wrote the original draft in 2021. not much compared to what i can do now, but i figured it was worth putting out since there's a bit of an emotional attachment for me. Represents a different era of my life

yes the export/sidechain is glitched because the file is corrupted and i could fix it by jumping through some technical hoops, but it's been like that for so long i kind of just consider it part of the song

ann j gardner canyon park 2012

headphone recommend
spotify: 
https://ffm.to/3rg4qvn


lyrics:
i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

i'm still here searching for that same thing
definition of insanity has the same ring to it
i hope you don't mind me brushing you off again like that
cause I need more reasons to be feeling this bad

got a list of things that I wanna do when I feel just right
i wanna go outside more
cut my hair
i wanna be there

I wanna be there

schema

thank you for listening, as always

dedicated to sol, my great grandmother and martin

I’ve been thinking about the autochrome
Kids huddled on the stair by the second story window
Watching people float
Peering through the banister in my great grandmother’s

(Home)
(Home)
(Home)
(Home)

I’ve lost all self control
What compels someone to fuse their naive tongue with a metal pole
So I pray that I will moult
And this flawless flesh will free itself from skin and from

(Bone)
(Bone)
(Bone)
(Bone)

Autochrome

made in 8 hours after thinking hard to myself for a while.
this project is in 7/4 (mb gang)

-lyrics-
**n33t and hidden contact talking**
**me recording myself in my room**

went far to see the sun rise
i saw her climb into the sky
if things go wrong its alright
i know it gets better with time

do you know what its like
to be cast aside (i know)
wanted to say so much more
im out to give the warmth

what can i do if its me
if things go wrong its alright
i know it gets better with time

Autochrome

Clovehitch

Recent comments

fortnitebattlebuskid

👨‍🚀 🪐

wishlane

Little Faith

Related tracks