Your hearts not the only thing two sizes two small

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1II5CaEKS6ghWX62845JCtVyu9RP6n85PSvqSYRMfhZc/edit
AlaskanSam as Giovanni
swizkii as Tom Nook
Written by MetaMachine, Legengo, GamingPlush64 and Dani Frias
Additional help from ThatTacoGod and Eddiefrb
Mixed by GlitchDude
Beat by Ihaksi
Thumbnail by Trakked
Hint for next battle: imma be real nothing else is super close to being done in terms of a new audio but maybe a video to an old battle within the month or so will be a thing???

Giovanni vs. Tom Nook

Releases tomorrow, July 28th. Get hyped biches!

Lyrics/Credits:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E61RKYOnRaOzAIy3HGOxUVK7gcJOpX8GmojdzDT4JW0/edit?usp=sharing

[EARLY AUDIO] MatPat vs Jacksfilms. Snakebite Rap Battles

Watch the video for this battle! - www.youtube.com/watch?v=veylJcIxkG0&t=2s

Hello there, and welcome back to another episode of Shimario's Rap Battles! In this installment we have a battle between Nintendo's platforming mascot, Super Mario, and HAL Laboratories' most iconic puffball, Kirby.

WAN as Mario
Shimario as Kirby

Written by: Shimario
Additional Writing Help: Psytube
Mixed by: Zagranis
Beat Produced by: Anywaywell
Beat Arranged by: Shimario
Thumbnail by: Rabi
Art in thumbnail by: KCToons, Nooby, and WAN

fuck the battle was too long to post lyrics in the description uhhhh lyrics here: docs.google.com/document/d/12bVHw…/edit?usp=sharing

Alright that's pretty much all I have to say. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for the next episode. Get all aboard the hype train!

Mario Vs Kirby - Shimario's Rap Battles

Josh Chichester as The Announcer
----------------------------------
Zack as Bart Simpson
----------------------------------
Fel as Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski
----------------------------------
Lyrics:
Bart:
I spend a lot of time hanging around a lard of fat like you cartman
its not smart, man; facing off with bart man
this racist tasteless prick battling me is just absurd
don’t have a cow man, looks like you ate the whole herd
soon this racoon will be more dead than his humour is 
fart jokes are all that matters to this deranged obese lunatic 
and your highest form of comedy is terrance and phillips
do you want your ass kicked, the Simpsons already did it

Cartman:
ARGH! IM NOT FAT, IM JUST BIG BONED!
I’m about to drag your ass out just like your show!
Respect my authority, El Farto you’re fucking done
you’re more of a big fat bitch than kyle’s mom!
go go Jo jo, and fucking cancel out
so you can go back home and have alone time with Milhouse
Go make me some pie you glorified beer stool
What I’m trying to say is, how would you like to suck my balls?

Bart:
ay caramba! who the hell are you messing with me!
You’re an even bigger dick than your mom’s groundskeeper willy
Its like you worked at the qwiki mart with a pile apu that you brought
you want something to eat fatso, than eat my shorts

Cartman:
Well your mom is so poor, she actually watches your show
you’re more of a jew than kyle, Kyle: shut the fuck up fatso
Your rhymes are treehouse of horror-ble but you know whats worse
You’re your alcoholic dad’s punching bag, the stick of truth hurts!

Bart Simpson vs Eric Cartman. Season 3, Wave 1

Eddiefrb as Harvey Beaks
Seth as Harvey Birdman

Harvey Birdman:
Rules were made to be broken, and the same goes for your face
The best marvy attorney against a Chowder disgrace? I’ll take the case!
Trying to be a Bad Seed, but you're just a little Steam-punk
You can't stand the burns from my rap when I'm powered by the sun!
I’m a superhero lawyer, saving the characters you love
You’re a child who can’t fight me when getting hurt’s what you’re afraid of
Debbie, cancel my appointment with BoJack; I’ve got a new foe to diss
‘Cause I’m cracking an even way bigger egghead than Beaks’ baby sis!

Harvey Beaks:
Alright, Phoenix Wrong! You’ll need your solar shield when I beat you
I’ll be launching you out of this battle, have you going “Pe-Choo!”
I may not like getting hurt, but it’s not like you could even hurt me
Scurry back to your coworkers like Captain Falcon and the Murray
Instead of dancing around your cases’ issues, why don't you actually solve them?
Turned into a parody of your own show, call it The Space Ghost Problem!
Stuck in a boring office job, while I'm still going on adventures
You’re just a Justice League reject who only hangs with one Avenger
 
Harvey Birdman:
This itty-bitty Bugaboo should go back to playing with his toy chicken
You’re voiced by a lion, but you roar more like a kitten!
A neurotic neat-freak that's way worse than Reducto, so back off!
There was less emotion in your raps than what you’d see from your grandpa
You favor the index finger, but I’ll give you the middle one
For wanting to be a Rebel, you try too hard to have civil fun
A real dodo bird; you can’t fly AND you’re afraid of heights!
I’m shooting energy beams from my fists. You can’t put up a fight
You’re dissing dishes so bad, a Recipe for Disaster
So emotionally fragile. Like your plate, I’ll leave you shattered
Beat you to a pulp, then be the attorney to represent ya
And in case you didn't, “Hey, did you get that diss I sent ya?”

Harvey Beaks:
What did you say about me?! Now you've unleashed my stern rage!
With flow like a mermaid, I’ll lock this third-rate in his birdcage!
I’m killin’ it with imps, spitting from the highest of trees
Even Technobear would be impressed by how I’m rocking this beat
This sleazebag will be splat real fast by this Greenblatt
Steal the crest of your rap like I was wearing a red ski mask
A bigger fail than Kratz, this is another case you’ve lost
You’re unloved by your wife and ignored by your boss
Fly back to Boo Boo, or I’ll leave you with boo boos, too
Wash out that potty mouth. Looks like your fans all flew the coop!
Calling me emotional? Hah! You’re one to talk, man!
You’re a flash in the pan, a sham, and a rip-off of Hawkman!
 
Harvey Birdman:
I’m a rip-off? Like when you ripped-off Batman as the Night Maid?
Such a shame. Your raps were even a disappointment to Dade
You can suck deez Peanuts and run back to Peabody, Sherman
Your Honor, you'll find that he's guilty. You’ve lost to BIIIIRDMAN!
 
Harvey Beaks:
Well, you can witness this quick diss I’m spitting at this pest
Had a volcano base, but your rhymes are lukewarm at best
I’d rid myself of my moisturizer and you still couldn’t scar me
Ending you like your superhero career, it’s the Death of Harvey

(SCRAPPED) Harvey Beaks vs Harvey Birdman

Mathew Swift as Bugs Bunny and Announcer
Fle as Woody Woodpecker

Bugs Bunny:
Eh, what’s up, doc? Allow me to be Ms. Mean-y
Road-run out of this battle and take that left at Albuquerque
This bunny’s going Back in Action to obtain my second victory
You’re talentless! But, when I sing, it’s a real Merrie Melody!
Universally adored! You’re behind me, in the dust
Face the music, you’re outdated. Nothing more to be discussed
I’m legendary! People always Tuned out your Looney Toons
So I’ll add you to the crew of your own Ship of Ghouls!

Woody Woodpecker:
Knock Knock, guess who? Woody Woodpecker buddy! 
I got the pecks to reduce you to a Bug, Bunny! 
You’re Lola-loco to think ya could get her’ 
She’d turn to someone better; and hop on my woodpecker 
Ya’ diagnosis is this roastin’- that’s what’s up, doc! 
And I could barely bare the hare on the cereal box 
It’s Wabbit season, Bugs! Don’t think I would forget
So ravage underground, ‘cause I’ve got a bone to Peck!

Bugs Bunny:
Of course you realise… this means war!
You tried to peck off more bark than you could hope for
Steal spotlights from pandas? You can't win on your own
I’ll surpass you and Daffy; two birds, one microphone 
Mista, I’m the slickest trickster who's ever dissed ya
You’re history, forgotten, and no one’s ever missed ya
Eh, I’ll give you a punchline since you’re already a joke 
Now that I’ve fried this chicken,

Porky Pig:
Tha-tha-that's all folks!

Woody Woodpecker:
You may have collected respect and the company’s money
it doesn't take a genius to know that this bunny’s unfunny
I’m more raw than carrots- you should stick to ya pranks
I’m dropping rap bombs, while you’re shooting Blancs
You’ll fall with a Fudd as I hunt you on this track
You made this battle a drag, but hey, you're a queen of that
Stuck in another jam, you'll be left spaced out
But it's no surprise when you take 2nd place to a mouse

Written by Matthew Thomas, Fle, R, Legion, WonderPikachu

Bugs Bunny vs Woody Woodpecker. CMRB

Starring
Light as the Grinch
Fle as Shrek

The Grinch:
The people of Whoville are nothing put next
To this pompous swamp-monster known only as Shrek
“Why”, you all blare, do I oh-so-hate him?
Behind all those layers he’s beyond Ogre-rated
Tasteless, I may have stole Christmas, in fact; 
You took everything ‘Disney’ and wrapped it with trash 
Even happened to nab Seuss’ Cat in the Hat
And before you drag on, tell your ass to stay back 

Shrek:
Donkey, see, something uglier than me!
GET OUT MY SWAMP! GET OFF MY BEAT! 
Hey, list em; Head’s twisted, Lyrically, nay gifted
You suck at wrapping, that’s why you resent Christmas 
I’m shreking fools; take your fur and deck the halls 
Ya heart’s not the only thing two sizes too small
Somebody once told me this hairy sock wants trouble 
You must’ve been cursed by your fairy godmother;
You were one in a million; a classic written for children 
Nowadays you’ve been plastered next to a billion Minions 

The Grinch:
You’re a monster, that said, I think you should retire 
Halloween already has a Mike Myers
Ech, a reboot of this snotty disaster? 
Say bye to your Happily Ever After

The Grinch vs Shrek. CMRB

Krupp:
HEY! KEEP QUIET! I’ve got something I must address and
that's this yellow-bellied manlet needs his mommy to dress him
And while she's smothering you silly I can prove that I'm the winner
When you collapse to your knees upon hearing SEYMOUR or SKINNER!!!!!
Principal turns to pauper when your kids’ test scores hit the district
When your diss misses, you’ll be dismissed like your missus when I get strict
I can’t hurt your relationships worse than your fear of marryin’
But I’ll take any offer to start harmin’ Tamzarian

Skinner:
Even Martin could trash a Tarzan, I’m seeing your cheeks are flushin
So welcome, Prepare for an unforgettable crushin’
But I took the liberty of yanking this prank from your students
I just rearranged your words and egads, your roast is ruined!
Thinking your switch to cartoons has made your series hip? No.
Here, take some orange drink to try and accentuate your flow
Your toilet humor failed your series; your author couldn’t adapt
And it’s your superhero persona that makes it seem you’ve finally snapped

Captain Underpants:
Tra-la-la! Finally, you’re seeing reason!
Honestly, I thought that your verse would go on for thirty seasons!
I’m a hero, bold and mighty! You’re tightier than my whities!
This aurora bore-ealis really thinks that he can fight me?
Bested by a ten-year-old! Skinner’s taking the L Barto!
Repeated gags left your fanbase gassed! How’s that for a fart joke?
Making you look like an ass is what this super intended
But Bart does that just fine when you meet the superintendent
Comparing yourself to a hero like me’s looking quite the stretch yes?
But luckily for this sham vet I’m the one that’s decked in spandex!
You’ll see worse than a detention as my prisoner of war!
With no more bites of a Krabappel it’s time for you to eat my shorts!
 
Skinner:
Think you’re well suited for readers? I can hear the parents fume
Modern conventions mean wearing more than just Fruit of the Loom
Cuz’ it’s the children who are wrong! I don’t want to Seymour ass
Awful principal gets awful trashed when I cut you like math class
But it’s not this flip-o-rama that’ll make your books get waist-banned
So there’s nothing to stop me from spitting fire on your steamed hams
You’re more of a baby than Maggie Simpson, my gosh, Krupp!
You losing your powers is the definition of washed up!

Mancha as Skinner
Adam as Krupp/Underpants

URBoF

Principal Skinner vs Principal Krupp - URBoF #13

When browsing the channels to surf, you may just come across something you were never meant to find. Today, two mysterious channel surfers duke it out in a rap battle. The illusive online creepypasta, Candle Cove, against the bizarre hacker behind The Max Headroom Incident.

SnakeBite126 as Pirate Percy.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCjK5...

Kae as Janice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCAuz...

twitter.com/bakamatsuva?s=09
FyxFynn as The Skintaker.

www.youtube.com/channel/UCd8b...
mobile.twitter.com/FynFyx

Stark Media as Horace Horrible and "Max Headroom's" video.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCfUL...
@stark-media

MetaMachine as "Max Headroom's" voice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCJfd...
@user-961171130

Kamren the Person as the offscreen observer's voice.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCnel...
@kamren-the-rea...

Fightmarker as the offscreen observer's video.
www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJ...
@stopmotionrapb...

Written by GamingPlush64, B O R K, and Zfr_
www.youtube.com/channel/UCEzn...
www.twitch.tv/imzfr

Mixing and Mastering done by Freshy Kanal.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCNLj...

3d Laughingstock model by Hans Michael Grimm.
itsfairlygrimm@gmail.com

Beat by Audio Network

Cover art by Astro.
www.youtube.com/channel/UCz42...
@paigekillsnazis

Lyrics:

“Max Headroom”
That does it! I’m tired of the lack of words
So I’ve hijacked this nerd; Happy Appy kin is getting more than candle burns
When I go in with flows swift
I’ll spit a firewall to stop their spam returns

Candle Cove
Seems to me an opponent has boarded on the airwaves
Percy, I’m worried! No need to be scared, they
Only show static and darkness from their display
So I’ll let my diss play - A shantie that’ll spit flames!

“Max Headroom”
[Moan] They’re coming to get me!
Cause their love is fading and their candle is dimming
So they’re lashing out at prime time hijacking legacies!
But your lines could never pack a bite; even if you were made of teeth!

Candle Cove
Once again, your first prank flops
I’m cutting you off like The Horror of Fang Rock
With our runtime this one time hack should be impressed
Our story is a treasure - And I still see the X!
We’re similar - Both broadcasts show static and screaming,
but the flaw with the matchup is we mean to
You’re just noisy nonsense in rap and the feed so
We will swat a fraud - your second live beat down!
I’ve ventured the most dastardly caves
You’re mocking audiences for catching the wave?
I mean, what do you have to gain?
Just an advanced troll so defensive he won’t announce his face

“Max Headroom”
It’s not the first time a Sci-Fi’s been wiped
By my design, and I didn’t have to go inside
Ooooh, my piles described these intrusions as losers
So turn yourself in, Captain Midnight!
[Nervous giggles] Oh, Jesus!
Your Channel Zero premiere sucked!
Your show is bare bones, while I’m the god of rap
“Anyone remember this kid’s show?” No-body asked!

Candle Cove
Well it seems we’re beat when screaming for an episode
Who’d have thunk a pirate crew would have the wetter flow? I think he wants a better foe!
It’s Horrible Horace, I’ll keelhaul your corpses
When I board the vessel you bet you’ll be torn up
And muted like your first show stop
I’m spitting sea salt, you’re throwing soda
I’ll traverse the high seas to find yee over briny depths
And then remove your head and grind ye flesh

“Max Headroom”
Hey, I didn’t wanna pay you puppets a visit.
The news was already taken over by Vrillon and liberals
So I chose the second best thing to send out my message
And it happened to be the Cartoon Network lost episode section!
So listen Flapjack, your wack rap is over
Time to move on from the Cove, like your owner!
I’m just happy I got the chance to roast nerds
I’m pulling the plug and ending this on my own terms!

Candle Cove vs. The Max Headroom Incident. Decent PG Rap Battles.

Elijah as Chowder
J Morris as Remy
Rocket as Mung

Lyrics:
Chowder:
Hey Mung! Yes? There's a rat in the kitchen!
But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to fry this rodent like chicken
‘Cause when I take the mic, you’re gonna take the loss
Like a skillet, I kill it Rat, got flows that’ll blow your socks off
Yo, this hat rack for Linguini's way beneath me
Tryna beat me and you'll get rejected like Panini, ain't that steamy?
You're a teeny little being, how can you step up to Chowder?
You’d still be in my shadow if I took Cinnamini powder

Remy:
Ew, that verse was tasteless, it couldn't pack a good punch
What you cooked up was rancid, Emile wouldn't eat it for lunch
Kid, if you were what you eat, you probably munch on the poorer stuff
But I hope you're hungry for what I'm about to serve; Order up!
You don't wanna get burned by the best chef in Paris
When you get chopped, you’ll be embarrassed that you’re gonna want to run to your parents
Oh wait, they’re dead like your humor is! Yet your audience absorbs all
A lazy show with a lazy kid, you’re breaking scales like the 4th wall

Chowder:
If we had any competition, you'd know I'd wear the crown
Your verse was a 2, MUNG! Another restaurant down!

Remy:
Oh please, don't get this all twisted like a burple nurple
Cause if we pondered cancellations, we’d be going in circles
 
Chowder:
It’s not like a two parter would be given to this bare mouse
I got you stressing, you're gonna want to pull your own hairs out

Remy:
That's a lot of fluff coming from a purple marshmallow
Biting on my style, I thought you came from Vídeo Brinquedo!

Chowder:
Sold your time with family for a soup bowl?
Thinking you're the better taster? Ha! That's comedy gold!
And as far as ratings go, I admit I’m not a defender
But I’m sure your restaurant’s a big hit for all the health inspectors

Remy: 
Rep destroyed by a building show and buried all of your earnings
Annoyed the execs so much and yet they call me the vermin
Yo, I’m the head of the kitchen, so be my trainee and listen
I thought anyone could cook ‘fore I met this special ed kitten

Written by Matthew, Jacob and Alen

Additional Help from Light, Freshy Kanal, Trakked, Fightmarker, Brodecai and Snakebite126

"Comedy gold" by TimeLord 103, Mason the Nation, MetaMachine, InfiniTV and CyanMilkShake

Mixed & Mastered by Light & Jacob

Beat by William Davies of Audio Network

Chowder vs Remy. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons Bonus Battle.

Urban Legend Rap Battles is a side series hosted on Eddie's Rap Channel featuring characters of modern and ancient folklore alike. Characters from Creepypasta, Cryptozoology, the SCP Foundation, Folklore, Gaming Mythos and more are all permitted.

(This battle went from conception to release in almost exactly one week. It's just a little bonus to celebrate the new year. We all want to forget 2020 ever happened and move forward, and these characters symbolize that feeling perfectly.)

GamingPlush64 as Goner Kid
Snakebite126 as Bloody GIR

Goner Kid:
Have you ever thought about a world in which you don’t exist?
A world where Jhonen didn’t probe this gorey picture to show to kids?
A world where he didn’t throw a fit and stick you into episodes of Zim?
A world where you shone on Nick and weren’t forced to shill for Netflix?
A world where your show went from cult classic to legendary
A world where your execs weren’t forced to scrap it for ratings 
It terrifies me… but that timeline is now gone, and well,
When it comes to your cash flow… It’s Raining Somewhere Else
An easter egg in the background with opacity all the way down will not make viewers squeal
And it’s certainly pertinent that your entire cult fanbase can’t even agree when you’re real
So best check your Fun Value ‘cuz I think your show is a bore and Nick’s golden boy does it way better
You’ve got no umbrella to cover your shame on the mic under my reign, so let’s just forget this

Bloody GIR:
You’re weird. (hmmm) in dire need of some self esteem
‘Cuz your bars just keep missing - call you MC number seventeen
You’re already so pale, guess this kid’s lightweight
Well, I’ll turn you Bloody too ‘cuz you’re In my way.
No Undyne to save you - my rhymes with scathe you
While you hide away and lie in wait to
Occupy a day you find a human to whine and complain to
‘Bout how your timeline hates you - while I just make do
You can find my face by brightening frames and I’m gracing who I’m opaque to
And on a beat I spit
Your burns are just taking the piss - Gonorrhea Kid
It’s Bloody GIR - I be thuggin’ runnin’ a clean verse
I gave my show a claim to fame - you just muddied yours

Goner Kid:
I told you to forget me… I do not want to face you...
Please get this battle’s editor to digitally replace you...
Your Followers have moved on… you’re no longer their CORE...
Make like your fanbase and don’t think about this anymore...

Bloody GIR:
Don’t like my appearance? Well, check the other fourteen
I take the dub, you’re taking after W. D.
Your talent must’ve been what Gaster Dark, Darker, Yet Darker Harvested
You sucked so hard they should rename you to Hyper Goner Kid

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Coverart by Rabi
Mixed and Mastered by adroitwhiz
Illustrated by BMB
Beat prod. by Ihaksi

The Grinch vs Shrek. CMRB

CMRB

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