This Is: Cold Chisel

Midnight Masquerade

Swing the blues as we lament about the over-application of Excel in the typical office setting of the engineer.  There are so many great tools to use, but in the end we always find ourselves putting it in Excel  :-(

Lyrics:

I fired up MATLAB, thought I’d code it clean,  
Simulations humming like a well-oiled machine.  
Minitab promised stats with rigor and grace,  
But when the boss asked for charts—Excel took its place.  

All roads lead to Excel, no matter where you start,  
Pivot tables waiting, with formulas in the dark.  
You can dream of Python, or R with its spell,  
But the world keeps turning… all roads lead to Excel.  

I built a model, equations stacked high,  
Monte Carlo dancing, numbers reaching the sky.  
But when it’s time to share with the team down the hall,  
They don’t want code—they want cells they can scroll.  

All roads lead to Excel, the grid we can’t escape,  
Copy-paste salvation, in that familiar shape.  
You can chase precision, with tools that compel,  
But the boss keeps asking… “Can you put it in Excel?”  

Macros whisper secrets, charts in rainbow hues,  
Error bars and scatterplots, the engineer’s muse.  
We curse and we laugh, but we know it too well,  
Every path we wander… leads back to Excel.  

All roads lead to Excel, it’s the engineer’s fate,  
From stress-strain curves to budgets we create.  
You can fight the current, but time will always tell,  
No matter the journey… all roads lead to Excel.  


All Roads Lead to Excel (engineer's fate)

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