I WAS AWOKEN BY A MASTER OF THE MIST NINJA ART, FROM LIFE INTO THE THUNDER LAZER REALM. NOW I HAVE REACHED THE HEIGHT OF POWER OBTAINABLE THROUGH NUNCHUCK, BOWSTAFF AND UNICORN HANDLING TRAINING. I AM A SPEC OF DUST ON THE TOILET SEAT AT NIGHT. I AM THE WIERD FEELING YOU GET WHEN YOU THINK SOMEONE IS STARING THROUGH YOUR WINDOW AT YOU, BECAUSE SOMEONE IS STARING THROUGH YOUR WINDOW AT YOU. I HAVE MASTERED THE 6 DEADLY, BENEVOLENT, MAGICAL, RADICAL, BADEST-ASSEST, CORE MEGAKILLER SKILLS TO BECOME DRAGON THUNDER LASER MIST!!!!!!
DONT FORGET IT! I MELT FACES WITH PRECISION KARATE CHOPS LIKE A NINJA TURTLE BIT BETTER BECAUSE I CAN CUT PEOPLE AND MASTER SPLINTER DOESNT MAKE ME STAY IN THE SEWER UNTIL THE FOOT CLAN FEELS FROGGY!!!! LIKE A THUNDERCAT GONE FERRELL LIKE WILL FERRELL, I WILL STALK MY PREY AND MAKE MUSIC TO MATCH MY MANLY, CHICK MAGNET, BONER INDUCING INTENSITY!!! DONT PLAY WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE WITH ALL YOUR DIGITS AND MEMBERS AND HAIR.....BECAUSE MY NUNCHUCK SKILLS ARE NOW 13 OF 14. I WONT TELL HOW FAR ON THE BOW STAFF I AM. THATS FOR MY EVIL ENEMIES TO DISCOVER IN BATTLE!!! DRAGON THUNDER LAZER MIST IS HERE TO CRUSH THEM IN THEIR TRACKS ...  .ENGAGE DRAGON THUNDER LAZER MISTETTES!!! LETS RIDE!!! IM HARD!!!! HOW ABOUT YOU?!?!?? YEAH HARD AS A THROBBING ROCK BABY!!!! GO!!!

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