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Jim Norton - Please Be Offended

"Shark Week" off Craig Ferguson's new stand-up special "I'm Here To Help."

Shark Week

I Hate Hoarders off of Jim Norton's album "Please Be Offended"

Jim Norton - I Hate Hoarders

One man, one guitar, one computer keyboard.  Jam.

The Keyboard Pianist

I've got to get home 
There's a garden to tend  All the fruit’s on the ground
The birds have all moved back Into my attic 
Whistle then static 
The young learn to fly 
I will patch up the holes once again  

Well I can't believe that my lime tree is dead
 I thought it was sleeping
I guess it got fed up with not being fed 
I would be too I keep food in my belly 
And hope that my time isn't soon  

So I try to understand
What I can't hold in my hand A
nd whatever I find
I’ll find my way back to you 
And if you could try to find it too 
Because this place is overgrown
 It’s a waxing moon 

Home is wherever we are 
If there's love here too  
In the back of my house 
There’s a trail that won't end
 We went walking so far 
It grew back in  
And now there's no trail at all
Only grass growing taller 
Get out my machete
And battle with time once again
 But I'm bound to lose
Because I'll be damned if time don't win

  I got to get home 
There's a garden to tend 
All the seeds from the fruit 
Buried and begin 
Their own family trees 
Teach them thank you and please
 Spread their own roots 
Then watch the young fruit grow again 
This old trail 
Will lead me right back to where it begins

  So I try to understand
What I can't hold in my hand 
And whatever I find
I’ll find my way back to you 
And if you could try to find it too 
Because this place is overgrown
 It’s a waxing moon

 Home is wherever we are 
If there's love here too
 Home is wherever we are 
If there's love here too
Home is wherever we are 
If there's love here too

From Here To Now To You

Home

The Burning Bridges Tour

Crazy Cult

Buy at iTunes!

Maria Bamford - Crazy Cult

Two First Names

Hippopotamus

Tracey Ashley - Hippopotamus

Get Rather Be on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/CBRatherBe
Pre-Order the album 'New Eyes' on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/neweyes.dlx 
Pre-Order the album from Amazon: http://smarturl.it/neweyes.phys 

Get more from Clean Bandit:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/cleanbandit 
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/cleanbandit 
Soundcloud: http://www.soundcloud.com/cleanbandit 
Instagram: http://instagram.com/cleanbandit
Spotify: http://atlre.co.uk/CleanBanditSpotify 

Sign up for Clean Bandit mailing list here: http://www.cleanbandit.com 

Available on iTunes

Rather Be Feat. Jess Glynne

The Night Out EP

The Night Out

Buy on iTunes

The Night Out (Original Version)

"Bigfoot Enthusiast" off Joe ZImmerman's album, out today.

Joe Zimmerman, known from appearances on John Oliver and Craig Ferguson unleashes his first comedy album, "Smiling At Wolves," recorded live in North Carolina.

Buy the album

Joe Zimmerman - Bigfoot Enthusiast

From his album "Racially Motivated."

Arnez is back in in his element as he performs gutbusting impressions and tells stories of his family life in this one-hour special.  His spastic comedy will leave you howling.

for love EP

time

pennybirdrabbit - time

From "Ugly And Angry," out today!

In this stand up special, Chris Porter gives his take on drugs, growing old, women's fashion, and his love for Taco Bell. 

Chris Porter - Making Products For Stupid People

Download Just Like You EP HERE: http://bit.ly/JustLikeYouEP

LIZ shatters all barriers with the highly anticipated release of Just Like You EP. Featuring 5 brand new never-before heard tracks and her last two singles “All Them Boys” and “Stop Me Cold,” Just Like You puts LIZ’s originality and talent on display like we’ve never seen it before. She teams up with a diverse group of a-list producers including Lido, C.Z., Mr. Carmack, Djemba Djemba, The Picard Bros., Yung Oji, r.i.c. volta, Swørd, Colta, WEEP and Mike Parvizi to give us 7 unrivaled tracks that pull from R&B, Pop, Bmore Club, UK Garage influences and more. About a year ago, Mad Decent signed its first release with LIZ on Jeffree’s, excited to have the opportunity to showcase her unique approach to songwriting and style to the world. The release of Just Like You marks the enormous moment we’ve all been waiting for. 

Tracklist
1. Y2K (Prod. by Lido)
2. Say U Would (Prod. by C.Z.)
3. All Them Boys (Prod. by Mr. Carmack & Colta)
4. Don’t Say (feat. Tyga) [Prod. by Djemba Djemba, Colta and Mike Parvizi]
5. Do I Like U (Prod. by Yung Oji, r.i.c. volta and Swørd)
6. Stop Me Cold (Prod. by The Picard Bros. & Djemba Djemba)
7. Turn Around (Prod. by WEEP)

LIZ
Facebook: www.facebook.com/LIZY2K
Twitter: twitter.com/LIZ_Y2K
Soundcloud: http://soundcloud.com/LIZY2K

Lido
Twitter: http://twitter.com/LidoLovesYou

LIZ - Y2K (Prod. by Lido)

Out today! 

Former "Beards of Comedy" member Andy Sandford gives an hilarious and entirely open look at the highs, lows, and absolute pits of his life in this hilarious live special recorded in his home town of Atlanta.

Andy Sandford - McDonalds Story

Greg Fitzsimmons - Irish Rage

Dave Foley's take on the so-called "war on religion" from "Relatively Well," his first stand up special.

"Relatively Well" follows Dave's journey to survive a world that seems intent on crushing his spirit. Everything's on the table, from the people who don't believe in science, to his misadventures in the romance department, feature in this biting and sidesplitting special.

Dave Foley - Closeted Atheists

This week we feature comedy tracks from Brian Posehn, Chris D'Elia and Dave Anthony!

Each week, Laughspin Podcast co-host Mike Gogel hosts Laugh Tracks by Laughspin, a short broadcast featuring three stand-up comedy tracks from an expertly curated list of comedians.

For comedy news, interviews, reviews and more, visit www.laughspin.com.

You can also find The Laughspin Podcast, a weekly news and interview show on iTunes. #comedymonth

Laugh Tracks by Laughspin #5: Brian Posehn, Chris D'Elia, Dave Anthony

Sam reunites with a very happy Vicky, with tales from the road and a Big Announcement! Whitney Cummings joins us with her dog Ramona! Whitney & Sam talk about their early days at The Comedy Store, and their theories on why it’s the best. Whitney levels a heckler and Sam encounters the Hell’s Angels. Whitney talks about roasts, writing jokes and Carmen Electra, while Sam tries to convince her she’s made it - it’s Sandylicious! Whitney’s new special premieres June 28 on Comedy Central!

The Naughty Show #213: Whitney Cummings

DC Ervin - Traffic

Steve Byrne - The Earth

Austin Hall - Drunk Tank

Leighann Lord - Eating Healthy

Lil Rel - Bad Valedictorian Speech

ILOVEMAKONNEN ~ Tuesday Feat. Drake

twoloud feat. Will Brennan - Get Down [Dim Mak Records]
OUT NOW on Beatport: http://bit.ly/TL_DM_GetDown

twoloud feat. Will Brennan - Get Down [OUT NOW]

Jim Norton - Tiger, Mel, And Arnold

Jim Norton - Profiling Is Fantastic

Jim Norton - The Mosque At Ground Zero

Jim Norton - Al Sharpton Sucks

Rae Sremmurd - No Type (PatrickReza Remix)

Lyrics VVV

As always it's free so download while you can. Enjoy and thank you for the support.


Yeahh hi ho, here I go
Like beer I flow 
I steer my boat
Yes sir on the track I float
Cut slack like rope 
Drop bars like soap
In the car I toke 
Cigars an dope
Stay fly like a birdie, under par one stroke
Yeah, you wont get it till tomorrow
Stuck on point like a dart throw
Posted, see me on the wall like an art show
Talkin' bout lights, but where did all the stars go 
Check it uhh, yeah put your iPhone down
Gather round gather round cause I’m home now
Turn the iHome down, you're in my zone now
And I gotta keep it comfy up in my home town

But yo
Mirror mirror on the wall on the wall, 
who’s gonna really be the first to fall... uh
No, no no not me, 
I write my own lyrics and I make my own beats
Yeah I tell ya that’s peace
I don’t ever go to work, I just go and take a seat
Then write another hook in my mac book
Then write another hook in my mac book

Repeat, tap both feet
Spark that shit, lean back in seat
An ah 
I never work like an antenna
Said ah 757 I gotta be represent er’
From any other state, make friends not competitors
When I’m in the motha fuckin House like the senators
Gotta do work like a settler
Catch me on fly like a regular 
I said, catch me on fly like malaria
Catch me on fly like an air craft carrier
Or better yet, catch me on fly and et cetera, et cetera 
Stuck on the cream like Bavaria
No barrier, I can keep an open mind every time I rhyme
You can find me underground like a terrier
I said, find me underground like they bury ya
Flow exported I was born in America
New to the area, see me on arrival
East coast kid going West like I'm Fievel 
Roll another up, wave um buy like a tidal
then off to work, I said by like a cycle

*hook*

But I could do work, now let me interrupt 
See me round the green like a diamond in the rough
See me on a roll like the wheels on the bus
And don’t worry bout my name, you gon know it soon enough...
[B] Rogers, yeah really no bluff
They be little, young, kid I am growing up
And I’m never slowing up, but I’m never in a rush
So I’m always taken time when they tell me hurry up like
Chill son, five more minutes
I gotta find the right place to rest my sentence 
And I don’t even think I'm gon finish
Up until I get cheese effortless like a dentist
Mirror mirror, tell me how it is
I don’t go to work, I talk to the kids
So Hi Ho 
Here I go
Like DJ Kool I clear my throat 
Mirror mirror, tell me how it is
You don’t ever work, when you love this shit
So repeat tap both feet 
Spark that shit, lean back in seat

Hi Ho (Produced by [B] Rogers)

Comedy Dynamics is a comedy production and distribution company. Its independent archive, the largest in existence, is available only on planet Earth.