money shot

tazawrazak

Half ass rap battles

gevr2wvb

fwce

fvrwfvoprwv

Projects in which I voice in that aren’t my own.

oh hey it’s me

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, Raichous and King Mewtwo

Additional Help by:
Seth W., Stofferex, Violet, Titanium, MetaMachine and Zawesome

Art by:
CyanCoat

Produced by:
Epistra 

Mixed, Mastered and Edited by:
Freshy Kanal

Lyrics:

Alex DeLarge:
It’s cold blooded pleasure but I love to trick them
Dirty old drunkies playing the bloody victim
They picked him? Stop staring at me and man up
You toss your actors in the trash like your index cards at standup
Alright, alright, alright! Get off the stage, Casanova.
Your character got so milked, they would sell you at Korova.
On the streets I was a tragedy and yes, I paid for it
But the real horrorshow’s your concept of relationships
Harley didn't harm your life so please tell me
How she left you for the bat.. and you blamed it on your belfry?
Clark pierced your heart like a Spade, you knew it sucked
Not even the hospital could save you... since you blew it up.

Joker:
Strange way to entertain but move aside, fraud
Watch out! You and the beat just built a suicide squad!
You had a big mouth ‘til you got fed up with the truth
I use my mind as a weapon, you use it as an excuse
Alex acted without thinking, like magic without a trick
You’re fake, dead and empty, the sculpture of a dick
And your in-out game is a hypocritical brawl
You signed in as DeLarge and came out as DeSmall
Yes, I'll dance with the devil and I mutilate faces
But you won't catch me singing in the rain with a rapist
And our key to Anarchy is to lock up up this hazard token
The time is in my hands to show your clockwork is broken
So take notes like Beethoven, I heard you like that
You’ve been blinded by society but I love targeting bats

Alex DeLarge:
Your miserable jokes couldn't gain any traction
So you needed laughing gas just to get a reaction
It’s filthy, seeing the little stain you’ll remain
At least now I have a reason to claim gulliver pain
You resist following orders, so here's an offer:
Allow me to kill you as a wildcard for the Oscars.

Joker:
You claim to dictate, then let me do it like your friends
And call our issue “Joker’s New Way Revenge”

Alex DeLarge:
I’d have given you up too, had I been your father.
Even in the real world, your creation is a bother.

Joker:
You’re mechanical, organic, any prisoner’s relatable
So don’t blame your new brother if you’re acting so replaceable
Kubrick abused you, used the friendship he bought
That gun has been loaded til the movie was shot.
But keep an eye open for sunshine.
Your tolchocks were a killing joke and the state gave you the punchline

The Joker vs. Alex DeLarge - Rap Battle!

Buy on iTunes: Click on "Buy on iTunes" above
Listen on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3Fk922p
Listen on Apple Music: https://apple.co/3fcS9w5

Follow WWE Music Group
WWE: https://www.wwe.com/inside/WWEMusic
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT5jXAyiqg4q1gAIcYAgrAg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WWEMusicGroup/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/WWEMusic

This entrance theme is not owned by anyone other than World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. as all credit and rights belong to the company.

Say So (Grayson Waller)

Grayson Waller - Say So (WWE Theme)

"Limitless" Keith Lee – I AM (Entrance Theme)

Sussus Moogus  - Vs Impostor V4 | FNF Mod

Logan Paul – Hurricane (Entrance Theme)

golden hour (COVER BY CG5)

JD McDonagh – Irish Ace (Entrance Theme)

Dominik Mysterio – It Is My Time (Entrance Theme)

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared Vs. The Truman Show

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Mr. Tibbs as Paul Bunyan
Freeced as Johnny Appleseed

Paul Bunyan:
You should've caught me on a different day!
Unless you're fishing logs, you should put those grippers away! (Goddamn!)
I'll pull the stick and turn you into a saint!
Still make a bigger splash than you when I piss in the lake! (Ooh!)
Tell your Jiminy Cricket that you ain't fit for the visit
Because he's looking for a minister this hillbilly isn't!
Your diet's so damn acidic, you're prolly riddled with rickets!
Instead of picking them apples, you should be picking a clinic!
You must be packed with ulcers, you fragile loner!
You're the first pothead to always pass out sober! (Ooh!)
Christian missionary; you're like half a soldier!
That's a culture too aggro for agriculture!
Is that a skunk on your goddamn hands and shoulders,
Or just your rancid odor? It really isn't a wonder
you never danced with folks, and ladies pass you over!
Sanctimonious, your seed is for the plants to grow with!

Johnny Appleseed:
I keep the field busy, but why are you talking? (Ow!)
Instead of getting a real Babe, you Blue Oxen!
Unraveled all the mangling you did before you packed up!
Broke the ice with all these people, just to ditch them for Alaska! (Yeah!)
I'm prominent forever as a real-life hero!
Accomplishments you've ever had in real life: zero!
Too big for your boots since you were a year old!
I bet they used the American flag to clean your earholes,
Cause you're a stain on the nation, and I'm a national treasure!
Talking pennywise, you're nothing but an asset for terror!
Yeah, I know a bad apple when I see one.
Maybe branch out, 'cause your crew's up a tree stump!

Paul Bunyan:
His people skills are criminal; he plants and bails,
Afraid they'll pull his drawers up past his wagon trail!
He's planting Red Delicious; throw this man in jail!
Gotta be the first time a stock in Apple failed! (Wow!)
Look at little baby Johnny, as he's trying a taste,
Getting humbled by reality, like a pie to the face!
I can't imagine all the time he'll-a waste
Tryna make Indiana look like prime real estate! (Wow!)
No matter how many times you keep on bringing 'em back,
I'll still clear a season's work with one swing of the axe!
And I ain't tryna battle, damn; I didn't even attack!
I just sneezed; knocked this plantation clean off the map! (Wow!)

Johnny Appleseed:
These folks don't want to see you drag your hobnails through shrubbery! (Hmm...)
Everyone who listens to your tall tales looks up to me! (Yep!)
Paul fails to trouble me; I'm living in honor.
I'm not a drinking man, but I'm about to finish this logger! (Yee-haw!)
Machines took our jobs, and they say the world is heating up.
My trees do their best so that the seasons keep from speeding up!
But please tell me why you blame the engines when you eat enough
To leave bigger carbon footprints than a fleet of trucks!
Your teamwork sucks; you break everything your palms touch!
They must've asked you to bring insurance to the potluck!
Ever since logging off, you're pining for some sawdust!
Your story ends just how it began: Paul is washed up!

Paul Bunyan vs. Johnny Appleseed - Rap Battle!

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of flying, sleep-centered video game villains; The Phantom, Minecraft’s monster of the night sky, versus Nightmare Buzz, the bad dream boss of the Toy Story video game for SNES and Genesis. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Phantom
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Nightmare Buzz

-LYRICS-

Phantom (0:15):
Bad dream? Nah, it’s just this dude’s carelessness
Tag Team tonight’s victim; Swoop! There it is! 
Take away those dollar store Dragon Balls, whatcha Saiyan now?
Don't bother tryna keep your head up, your chin'll weigh it down 
Narcoleptic? Off the checklist. Nah, this creep’s devoured
Coated red like older textures. Wanna piece of our
Mem-brains? Ya get ten scrapes to your chestplate! Say goodnight, dude!
Your defense play’s a pretend laser? I’ll Explain, sir; it’s only going down like you
Homie, we know you ain’t zapping shit 
And if you don’t feel like vanishing
Get under the covers when Phantoms hit
Make a bed you'll forever be napping in 
Making you return to your dreamscape (yuh)
With an even-more-green face (yuh)
Make sure that you’ll sleep great (where’s that?)
Deeper than deepslate
We put the fear in atmosphere for this toy
Watching this space junk drop like a meteoroid! 
Unbreakable. Make a bed rock while we’re up in the clouds
Leaving a Buzz cut; we're number 1 all around

Nightmare Buzz (1:03):
I’m glad you’re done, I’ve never heard such bad flow
In any battle, guess your turn’s just mad slow 
Either way, you’ll be shot down. I sleep on you, you’re knocked out 
I know it’s time to kill you; guess you don’t needa… watch out! 
This sentient Elytra’s dumb. I don’t need to light ‘em up
These Dodgers of a Bright Sky combust without the slightest touch 
But I Imagine that having you in real life’s a must
Gamers playing, staying up this many days and nights is nuts 
I conclude this Phantom Menace is worse, by far 
Even in death, what I drop’s higher than 5 stars 
You’ll hit the ground like Woody’s game over. Brew some ‘brane potions
Throw them, and savor your pain going way slower  
Go ghost like Danny! Green eyeballs? I’ll pop ‘em
Hearing you Phantoms screech is… not an Opera 
On second thought, I take a liking to those high blares
Akin to the screaming kids whose dreams I turn to nightmares

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by NickChou
Additional instruments by Renraku, Grant Michael, Diaspora, and Sample Magic

Feedback by King Mewtwo, GamingPlush64, RNG, TheBabyBeef, Swizkii, my therapist, Eddiefrb and the spaceship
Shoutout to Cri, Danii, and Eric the Audible

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Phantom vs Nightmare Buzz | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of horrible collectathon games; Data Design Interactive’s infamous Ninjabread Man versus Preston’s Hourglass. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Preston Ramirez
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@CommanderJacob
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/commander_jacob
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/commanderjacob

Rosenthal as Ninjabread Man
YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@rosenthal5904?si=QJMCXg9nvRyrKt9g
SoundCloud:
https://on.soundcloud.com/cmCkAVLLNpLdHBJK7

-LYRICS-

Preston (0:10)
Ramirez on the mic, you’re unwelcome in my domain
I’ll crush your candy bars cuz I’m fucking insane
Twist you up; pretzel. Disappear; presto
Motion controls? Now your buttons getting pressed, bro

Drown you in a sea of punchlines. I’m a hitter
My money can’t be thicker; hourglass figures
Bash your skull in, you’ll get left with dents
Not a fan? Explain that pressed-in head

Cuz I’m p-r-e-s-t-o-n-exclamation
Call Zool, get your reject remake and remake it
This little cookie is not tough
Ninjabread. Is. Ticking… me off, cunt

DDI’s like CDI. Maime you and your lazy twins
Bring all the shovelware; just more graves to dig
Don’t ask for the dough-jo, You're not worth half a dime
It’s not just Anubis being lost to the sands of time

Ninjabread Man (0:53)
Fuck a swarm of bees, this is some buggy shit
Get the mic outta your hand; human or oven mitt
Indie dissing employees; you be-little
Now catch this candyman crack down Mr. Peanut Brittle

As for your wife, ever wonder why her ass ain’t home?
She’s at my place letting me explore her catacombs
But now I wish I didn’t think to get kinky
Because the both of you look like some sorta wrinkly Twinkies

You’re a product of Baldi and Banban, and Bendy
And Tattletail, Spooky, and Granny, and Slendy
So don't talk remade shit
How do walls only made of gray bricks counter oversaturation?

You look like your hat shoulda been a bedpan
Check the headband. Wu-Tang shit; NinjaRedman
You Crashed more than Bandicoot! It’s not right
Not talking mechanics; tell Dreadful it’s…  stop time

-CREDITS- 

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by 2Deep
Additional instruments by Capsun ProAudio and David Oliver

Feedback by Shimario, bloody_queers, and the spaceship
Shoutout to JustGamer, RNG, ColeTheCole, Nugget, and Walk

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Ninjabread Man vs Preston's Hourglass | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Poison

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Friend Inside Me
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/commander_jacob

VinnyO as Man in the Suit
https://linktr.ee/yuugenvinny

-LYRICS-
Friend Inside Me (0:19)
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.
Friend inside me. Friend inside me.

Man in the Suit (0:38)
(Inaudible)

-CREDITS-
Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by BAKI
Inspired by Vibing Leaf
Godzilla roar taken from Godzilla (2014)
Shoutout to GamingPlush64, Freshy Kanal, garbageGothic, Atronach’s Aura, Dilly, and Nugget

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Man in the Suit vs Friend Inside Me | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! In this 100 Hour Challenge special, we have exploding video game enemies; Bob-omb from Super Mario Bros vs Creeper from Minecraft. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Bob-omb
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps

Commander Jacob as Creeper
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob

-LYRICS-

Bob-omb (0:09)
Yo. EXPLODING IN! Buddy you crawled on the wrong land
They put me up against a Creeper? Aw man!
Double Dash away before this Bob-omb Blasts
You’ll go from face on a backpack to laid in a body bag
Why attack the player? You’re one in the same
Either of you see a pussy and start running away
And if you wanna act hostile, I hope you can camouflage
Or I’ll splatter you on the trees; make you look like you’re back to moss
You both cause destruction, but lemme tell ya something
Only difference between you and TNT? You’re ugly
No back and forth, I jump straight in as I’m attacking 
I layed out this pig, put him back in the right axis

Creeper (0:40)
BOOM BOOM BOOM- that’ll be you when you provoke me
I’ll chew you up and spit you out like Yoshi
Match my explosions? You’d need at least two
So if you really wanna go, try to re-fuse
I’ll drop a track, I got a real bone to pick today
Bet your reflexes delayed like your Galaxy minigame
Spectate and realize I see green in two different ways
While you’re on the Battlefield, waging wars with a civil race
Walking or Charging, I’mma come for your head
When you’re falling from the sky, it’s the most Sudden of Deaths
(Let’s go) House of Boom? Yeah, your mama was in that
Just stay on the ground; I’m who’s leaving an impact

-CREDITS-

Written by Commander Jacob and TheMonarchy
Beat and additional writing help by swizkii
https://www.youtube.com/@swizkii
Mixed by Light
Additional art by HoodieMasterr
https://www.youtube.com/@hoodiemasterr

Feedback by TheMonarchy, swizkii, HoodieMasterr, and SimplyRazzy
Shout out to Walk and JustGamer

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Creeper vs Bob-omb | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have musical entities that cause stress to those who come across them; Mad Piano from Big Boo’s Haunt in Super Mario 64 versus Bop It, 90’s audio toy sensation. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Mad Piano
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMonarchyVA / https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/olithemonarchy
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/oli-the-monarchy

Eric the Audible as Bop It
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@EricTheAudible
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/erictheaudible
SoundCloud:
https://soundcloud.com/central-rap-battles  

-LYRICS-

Mad Piano (0:09)
Yo! Looking for eight coins? There’s one to your left!
But it’s not the only thing I have covered in red
I’ll bop you ‘til you shatter! Make your circuitry bleed sparks
Plus you’ll find the key of my teeth… B#
See this chair? Sit down, take the polite road
Soprano C, you’re gonna scream out on a high note
I'm not settling, I demolish a score
I keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging! And keep banging!
It’s like this Dizaster got me paying homage to Cort
See these coffins falling? Next thing you know, you’re falling in yours
On the topic of court; for being lame, you've stood accused
I'm not judging when these shelves start throwing books at you
Had a little fad and just kept extending that
It's like Simon Said "instead of memory, test their attention span"
Between the cash grabs and narrators so obnoxious
I got a command for you!... stop it.

Bop It (0:54)
Did I rattle your cage, dude? You’re Mad cuz I’m way smooth
Piano should stay tuned! I’m naturally playin’ you!
Wanting red? I’ll leave you spinning. You gotta be kidding
Thinking you’re the grand type... You’re more MIDI
You move so slow, I circle you with no running
If you hear boos around you, It’s not your ghost buddies
Haven’t you realized I’m twisted yet?
Fitnessgram shit; I'll make sure Suicide Drills in your head
You’re the least scary thing in your “sCaRy oLd hOuSe”
Walking wobbly like you hopped off the merry-go-round
Wait, yeah, you belong in that kinda room
There's been a remake and a port: this piano’s on loop (c’mon!)
More per minute, you’re getting b-b-beaten
You couldn’t hit me in Smash R-R-Remix
Save the jumpscare, you won’t pull it with me
After your little lullaby, I’m going to sleep!

-CREDITS-

Written, directed, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by 2Deep
Beat purchased by Fightmarker

Feedback by TheMonarchy, Fightmarker, Syroquise, and the spaceship
Shoutout to RacconBroVA, Dilly, TaigaTonic, Dani, Sculpture_, and the Smash Remix team

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Bop It vs Mad Piano | Rap Battle (HARB)

Listen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/otD-XbAhMbU
Listen on Spotify: [coming]

Support on iTunes: [coming]

DOWNLOAD / STREAM.

RedMoon & Meron Ryan - Heavyweight [NCS Release]

Stoney

White Iverson

Prom Queen

From The Outside

Hoodie

youtube.com/watch?v=tscAN8W0QgU

WWE The Usos Done With That - Day One Remix (Official Theme)

Street Profits - Bring The Swag (Official Theme)[HQ]

Hasley - Colors

@freshy-kanal as Invader Zim, GIR, and the Announcer
@king-mewtwo as Plankton
Tom Kenny as the French narrator

Written by: Henry Jones, @dannyplaysgames-422800890, @top-irish, @user-120833346, @king-mewtwo, @deanfalcon, @swoldow_evgrb, Ribbit, @kennethh-5, Aaron Peters, Daniel The Rapper, and razzy 
Cover art by: @jordan-showish
Beat produced by: @atomicbeats-1
Mixed by: @freshy-kanal

Lyrics:
T.V. RAP BATTLES!
INVADER ZIM!
VS!
PLANKTON!
BEGIN!

Plankton:
Karen, fire up the lyric machine, because today, I’ll cut no slack
To a green freak who’s best known for his creator’s other Maniac!
Just take a look at my Plan Z, and you will see like Ice I interrupt
I'll take the win, and the formula, once this rejected alien steps up
This fool wants to challenge me? You're about to get burned by my flow 
I'm going strong with tens of seasons, after 2006 you're a no-show (ooo) 
So, you have a TV film soon? Check the numbers, Zim
Stepping to the more Supreme of minds? Looks like The Nightmare Begins!

Zim:
I won't be stopped by a round cyclops of doom 
So don’t get Krabby, microscopic fiend, expect another squashing soon
You’re at the Bikini Bottom of the Bucket, disgusting friendless scum
You had to build your own wife, beating this rotting Chum is F.U.N
GIR: 
We will squish you like a bug, because you're Imperfect, Cell  
Zim: 
It's very pathetic that you're scared of whiny teenage whales
Several torture methods have been thought up and i've made my decision
Split this molecule in two, so he can finally have peripheral vision

French Narrator:
1 verse later...
Plankton:
And you’ve yet to make a harsh statement
My quips will leave you in more tears than your show’s cancellation!
You're just a disaster, you're weaker than Patrick in the competition
I’ll give your fans a reboot of you, alright: Invader Zim’s Extinction!

Zim:
You're lying if you think you can best this Extraterrestrial mastermind
I’ll roast this Patty like a family. Except it’s gonna be done right!
You will always be 1% evil, like Mr Krabs, I’ve foiled ya
You failed in this fight like you fail to get the Secret Formula! 

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
T.V. RAP BATTLES!

Invader Zim vs Plankton. T.V. Rap Battles 3.

Mario:
I spit epic lines against this f**king sh*t rip off
You’ll be siivagunned down to the ground so stop
I’ll plow right through you like bricks, breaking more ground than the Wii
You’ll fall like a Lakitu, I’m used to curb-stomping tiny enemies
I’ve got the Nintendo Power to outlive any memes you bring
I’m known the world over, you don’t matter in the Grand scheme of things
Are your eyes blue because you’re feeling depressed?
If not then I’ll make you feel that, because I’m the best!

Grand Dad:
I'll boot your legs in, don't even dare try to own me
I'm on top! You're comin' up Smol like Nozomi!
I’m grand, you’re banned, and I’ll leave your a** canned
I’m a man, I’m not a fan, so I’ll hit you with a pan
You're a frickin moron b***h, so be ashamed and cry
Why don't you Grab me lunch and maybe Die
You make me f**king cringe- ew ttgd
Call me your grand daddy~ cause now you listen to me

Mario:
I'll turn the tables when this foe's been boned
I'm smoking this joke, even though he's already flinstoned
I'm packed with bars of fire just like one of bowser's castles
Reaching for the win like a flagpole in order to end this battle

Grand Dad:
I'm a top-notch gangsta, why not replace Grand with God?
While you're a faded out star scrapped in favor of COD
Run out of time or this fight, either way you'll descend bro
I'll switch things up as I stomp out this coinwhore for Nintendo

Who Won

Who's Next

You Decide

Jaeden Man89 Rap Battles of 

GRAND DAD
FLEENTSTONES?

Numbness

Written by Red, Adroitwhiz, , epicman12 , Jaeden-Man89, R The Writer

Beat
https://youtu.be/kGg6q1j6jZE

Cast:
King Mewtwo as Mario
Red As Grand Dad

If you think it's good I might do another

Mario Vs Grandad

King Mewtwo as Globglogabgalab
Skeep as Dunsparce

Globglogabgalab:

Slam poetry? Delicious, I love a schwibbleschwabble
But I sense a bad taste from the words of your squabble
So best get silent and wide eyed, scary
Or you’ll lie buried in my library
Stuck without an evolution and your stats are flimsy
The surprisingly long got the short Straw-insky
You wanna see my rap Treasure Trove? Best get diggin’
Unlike this cryptid, my win’s Non-Fiction
Mmmm, splendid!

Dunsparce:


I wish I was in the Dark Cave, you’re a sight for sore eyes
You’re like a yeast infection of thoughts and minds
I’ll drill you down and reunite the dirt with its worm
I’m sure you’re already used to eating your own words
You’ll be a meme for a week, then you’re loved no longer
I’ll still be more fleshed out than this skin monster
All Hope is lost, Jabba, stick to Housing new inmates
This worm’s submerged in my flow, only useful as clickbait

Written by Eddie and Jason
Mixed by Dustin

Dunsparce vs Globglogabgalab - Pokemon vs Anything

Wow.

Wow. (Remix) [feat. Roddy Ricch & Tyga]

I'm Something Else - SomethingElseYt

Play Nice

Special thanks to Alex for uploading
(he told me to put this here lol)

Beat Produced by: Imotape Productions
Written by: Dani Frias, King Mewtwo
Chiseled by: B O R K
Mixed by: J Morris the Review Guy
Thumbnail by: AaronGPeters

King Mewtwo  as John Lennon
J Morris the Review Guy as Kurt Cobain

Lyrics:

Lennon:
Imagine there was no heaven or nothing to pray to
After listening to your songs, I’d say I was in the same view
With all the kindergarten playbacks, come in here and you're too low
All Apologies, but I'll smack you back to In Utero

Cobain:
Here's the difference between Cobain’s art and the man who's dream’s a nudist
You claim you're high and mighty but I myself worship the Buddhists
You don’t sound like you’re into anything but how am I too low?
I know “All You Need is Love” didn't mean brag about Yoko Ono
Then spent your honeymoon in bed, and been slacking ever since
Didn't play for you to join, but did your OCD never rinse?
The always sad friend of the group with I guess one known Christmas tune
I wouldn’t be all too surprised if you were depressing this beat soon

Lennon:
Got a band named Nirvana, but seems within it’ll decay
A Heart Shaped Verse so shattered it’d crawl back to the guitars that you’ve played
My writing demons are no more, you can’t make yours fade away
So best clean up that filthy verse like the janitor that stayed

Cobain:
Across the Universe, but your best work was racist through the stars
The pain that I’ve been through’s not even close to you spitting your bars
Make like your Beatles departure and still keep up with the peace
As your nose is bigger than your ambition for another piece
You’re a Montage of Heck but at least when your Poison’s Gone
You’ll be Fecal Matter, after you’re announced before dawn
You don't want a Quarry, Man if you're as beta as those times
Maybe try getting used more often to think up better lines

Lennon:
I don't believe in death, but after this I think that’ll be switched
Seems it’s not the first time that you’ve been under a painted bridge
I've been seen through as a lord, better call up Harrison
Because the closest thing to your moment was buried pressure, son
Got you caught in more flow than your conceiving; Nevermind
Should’ve went back to film-making to make better bloody lines
You’re in the Brad Pitt now, if he’ll even show up for his part
And with a friend from Compton, I thought you would get him for this kind of art
You’ll change in here more than your members, I’ve moved on from what you’ve dissed with
I won’t take you seriously when your best song is for Teen Spirit
You’ve got many inspirations, and then went thinking you were flawless
But give my nickel back and Nickelback his crown for the obnoxious

Cobain:
Changed my members, yes, but what relationships do you bring?
Me and Courtney stayed while you’ve got stale meat who could never sing
Not to mention your band’s material for pop culture allusions
Guess my cover did nothing but give this old man some confusion
I took assets from you and managed to do better than your smudge
It isn’t my fault that John Lennon here mixed up the grunge with grudge
I’ve been playing for MTV before they Unplugged with their music
You’ve been playing for little girls who prefer Harry as their choosin’
Now don’t interrupt me, I’m not here to kowtow and give thanks
When your closest thing to rapping was against O’ Reilly’s banks
Your Rolling Foes gave me four stars, it’s clear that we’re not on the same side
So keep coming at me if you once again want all your flames died

Lennon:
I spit Lithium; you spit its cancer rhymes that leave you dead
Say goodbye to all the friends living inside your head
Got a Simpson reference, now everyone rips off your flashback
Stay as the emo savior and be minimized to a movie soundtrack

LINE MEANINGS/FUN FACTS:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10owsMAvzpi_1bDjQQouQ7CYb-ZmVtOyRMfJlkCQx4IY/edit?usp=sharing

{REBOOT} John Lennon vs Kurt Cobain - Rap Battle

In this rap battle two iconic Nintendo "Trainers" go head to head, both with very different ideas of what training is. Who will win? That's for you to decide.

Also no this isn't the Smash version of Pokémon Trainer this one was actually competent enough to evolve his pokémon.

Who Won?
https://www.strawpoll.me/18354775

King Mewtwo as Wii Fit Trainer
https://soundcloud.com/king-mewtwo
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6u5tHVsAaWYq_UreyZMufw

Vladimyr P. as Pokémon Trainer
https://soundcloud.com/universalrapbattles
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzqKbVXFxRik0AkaLmFl2hg
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1RdxEDNIuMIZk0VLjSdVrQ

Alex the Beast as Charizard, Blastoise and Venusaur
https://soundcloud.com/user-650786333-593076861
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZUTOJL1qAbDorCjlhGYQ/featured

Mixed by Light
https://soundcloud.com/ducky808
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv40Azz3spGbl38LIF7uKqg

Written by Psytube
Cover art by Psytube
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Karaoke: https://picosong.com/wKPZm/


Wii Fit Trainer:
Now, if you don’t want this fitness contest to be a landslide
You should start by improving the crooked posture of your franchise
No amount of warning screens could describe your world’s sheer danger
I mean, you fight ten foot tall monsters and host cockfights with strangers
Usually I’d tell you to relax but I get your aggression
It must feel quite bad to be kicked out your house when you’re eleven
Sure, you managed to trudge your way into beating the league challenge
But looking at your battle system, you couldn’t keep balance

Pokémon Trainer:
I’ve been out here on my journey, travelling far and wide
While you dance around on a doormat and you call it exercise
The bottom of the bargain bin wants to fight a gaming pro?
Then say hello to my killing monsters, pokéball, go!
(Charizard)
Against a fire breathing beast it isn’t hard to leave you floored
I’m up here soaring in the sky while you can’t jump on your board
(Blastoise)
You lasted for a week before grannies got bored of your cheap fad
Hell, even my hydro pump couldn’t pierce your fanbase as bad
(Venusaur)
Looking at all your players, Wii Fat really should’ve been your name
Cause solar beam moves faster than people playing your minigames
(Pokémon Trainer)
Come back guys, there’s no point, his series is beyond hope
It’s so dead, I couldn’t even see it with a Silph Scope

Wii Fit Trainer:
Should’ve breathed in deeply before you spat that verse
Your disses came out so damaged, they couldn’t be healed by your nurse
Sure you got pretty close with the 5 kids who play portables
But a glimpse of a good game? Looks like you haven’t caught ‘em all

Pokémon Trainer vs Wii Fit Trainer - Psytube Rap Battles #4

Anxiety - BlackBear

Bury the Light - Single

Vergil Bury the Light

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.