-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

Egomanic as TreatsforBeasts
The Monarchy as Gateway of the Mind
Written by: M&Mattie
Mixed by: Light_IWNL
Beat by: Dansonn
Coverart Drawn by: Grasman
LYRIC DOC:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XPiawapfUGx1KjG9BbGCzdW4OBTTyxrQKxBY6sd2_Fs/edit?usp=sharing

TreatsforBeasts vs Gateway of the Mind || Terrifying Rap Battles (Feat:Egomanic and The Monarchy)

I simply did this for fun, don't ask.

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man - Rap Off!

Shadow: Titanium1208
Muscle Man: CornCob7178 
Beat produced by: Lezter
Written by: CreeperPasta, CornCob7178 and box
Thumbnail by: CreeperPasta 
Art by: Tompuffs
Mixed by: box

Shadow:
You gotta be serious. This is my challenge? You gotta remember the monsters I've dismembered
The villains I've beaten... Green Eggs And Ham; your lifespan is about to be as short as your temper
I’ve seen better pranksters on YouTube. You and your crew knew I don’t fuck around with trolls
So stop the cap or I'll pop a cap on your tail before you start to rap. Heads gonna roll
Outrace me with a golf cart? (Ha!) This slobs dire…
Watch your entire front yard turn to a bonfire!
High-Five’s missing a finger, now thats in poor taste
You’re pals cause neither can even live up to your names
I’ve got more weapons than a war general
Got more green than that DAMN 4th chaos emerald
You live like a pig and behave like an asshole
Rigby changed his name, but you’re the real Trashboat
Speaking of such, what’s up with Starla? Big the Cat is smaller than her in comparison
You’re both alike, squealing and whinning like babies when you don’t get each others attention
It's not the first time a game boss leaves you smoked
Even if you try to win with your repetitive joke
The second your mom is dissed, you start to fit
Like The Hammer’s leg, Mitch should just drop the bit

Muscle Man: 
Yo Rigby! I think I found your emo cousin!
I tell you to make some sense/cents, but with so many ends in your game, this hogs worth nothing
You say I'm dirty, have you seen your fandom lately?
They're scaring away all the ladies!
But I'm not worried, I've got my Starla
Who do you have? Your own shoulder to cry on?
Oh no bro, watchu think you doin' with that strap? Take that away and don't bring it back
I can hear Linkin Park in the background. Tried to stay underground but that shit's wack
You're too slow, bro! Like a Pokémon I do not catch. Gun smoked that Maria pack. 
You low budget Mewtwo. Go back to Gerald to cry in your puny lab! Rat! 

Shadow:
Naming my lost ones? Careful or it might fire back. Ask Muscle Dad
At least that fraud died to a bear, you almost died chugging hot dogs, man
You don’t want this smoke, last time you shot fires you got skinned in the woods
So if you take it there, I’m taking it further- psssst, that’s something you don’t wanna do

Muscle Man:
I remember you was conflicted, but you went through a few changes, haven't you?
I'm not talking about super. You know who else got hoed by IDW?
You know who else has amnesia but can't forget the mistakes they have done?
You know who else says “Nothing personel, kid” and lets their friends die? My mom! 

Shadow:
No bars left? I'll shoot opps next. I don't need guns
Drop a bead on Pop's head? That's a bit fucked
Your pop's dead and your mom's next. That is real, son
Four punchlines full of lead, that's a Fist Pump
Like your family tree, this won't get beautiful
I hope you know a guy who can arrange your funeral
If I hear any more edgy jokes, I promise
I'll do you way worse than what you did to Thomas

Muscle Man:
You’re so ungrateful. If it wasn’t for the fans you wouldn’t be here today
You were created to save a life. Mariah would be ashamed of those you took away
Riding alone with your regrets, every chance he gets more repressed, and what for, brother?!
This ultimate waste of life form just got buried by a gardener 

Shadow the hedgehog vs Muscle Man-Rap Off! (ft. Titanium1208 & CornCob7178)

Cover art by: Cidisswo
YT link: https://youtu.be/SrpFrzgsdME?si=fGHuqH3SymB5l3so

egomanic as both voice
Written by egomanic

Lyrics: 

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Yeah) try to catch the wave, and drown in my flow
Cuz mine is hard to swallow you’re a soft drink like coke
Why don’t you pass me a cigarette, im asking for smoke
Give a cowboy his magazine, this gat’ll unload, so
Mic pilot with the rhymes i'm freestyling 
Stacking my piles high in the sky, supplies rising 
Dropping by lines right on the fly like skydiving 
While you tried diving into the night and died trying 
Hijacked off in the cockpit since dishonorable discharge 
Till you dropped and the rocks hit, now you’re never gettin them off (Uh) 
We are not the same, i'm not on your plane
Inspired by the first 3d show host, while you got no game 
Mask on, not a trace while all the cops can spot your face
I’m on your case, going off unlike the bomb that's on your case 
Uh uh, sorry cooper but today is not your day
Come to get me i’ll just turn the other cheek and walk away

[D.B. Cooper]
I don't like funny stuff, but i have some notes
This is a rap battle, I expected actual jokes
Wanna talk about catching smoke?
I drop bombs, max, listen to the raps I wrote, it goes
Briefcase empty took 200k with me 
Got the job done, for 50 years remained missing
Placed whiskey orders, called the shots, escaped quickly
Stuck the landing and I even made it back for thanksgiving
You never left no evidence but it's evident
I made my mark, your love faded into irrelevance
Rebelled against PBS with your obscene scenes
But it seems, your messages are as obscured as your references (Ay!)
Ruffled some feathers then i flew the cooper
You broadcast fetish cosplay: D.B. Gooner
So go ahead and throw hands and get chucked like Swirsky
I kept mine clean while your gloves got dirty

[The Max Headroom Hijacker]
(Ohhhh)
I’m a rap god, bro think he the unabomber 😂
You bargain Bin Laden: Osama lama duma lama
You made some bank and then the banks became your treasury
So I’ll make this air pirate “see the X” because he’s dead to me

[D.B. Cooper]
(Ugh)
Your heads in the clouds if you think your verse phased me
First class? Nah, you dressed like the first lady
I cover my tracks well but this time the FBI will find
Your airtime is up, but you didn’t leave a tie behind…

D.B. Cooper vs Max Headroom Hijacker - Ego Rap Battles

TheToppo as Napstablook and The Dealer
Written, mixed, cover art by TheToppo
Produced by InsaneBeatz
Special thanks:
SN00ZE
Mike Klubnika
Toby Fox
Freshy Kanal

[The Dealer verse 1]
Sign the waiver, let us begin the game
I’ll have to inject adrenaline if nap is in your name
I should give you a warning when I’ve competed with God
But if you’re really that clueless, I can tell you your odds…

It’s double or nothing but you have nothing to lose,
Nothing to gain, nothing more to double, you’ve been drawing nothing but blanks
Because when you come around you’re not live
Shells dead like your eyes and the rest of your design

Living in the Waterfall, it makes sense you’re washed up
You’re just like your cousin, you’re both down in the dumps
But when I pull out the magnifying glass and handcuffs,
Have the shotgun sawed off, your end will be abrupt.

[Napstablook verse 1]
Um… you do know you can’t kill ghosts, right?
Well… you’re not the brightest, that why your room has no light?
Wait… the room is visible so… there has to be…
Just… forget it… you get the point, you and your fans are no-lives

Looking like Zolphius if he started molding,
Had rusty nails for teeth and a cheap gun he was holding,
Turned to an alcoholic with the only hope he has in life
Being betting all his money away until he dies

Sorry… um… I didn’t mean to get so pressed
But when an ugly floating chainsmoker’s here, it makes sense
For anybody to be stressed, you aren’t very fun to look at
But maybe you could be like me and… put on a cool hat?

[The Dealer verse 2]
I’d smoke a cigarette but none of what you said hurt
Just like your fight with Frisk, you didn’t put in effort
I’d say more but there’s nothing else I can diss
Your whole personality’s a blank canvas

[Napstablook verse 2]
I wish I had a jammer so I could’ve skipped that verse
Honestly I didn’t see you as a threat at first
But… I heard your voice and my ears started to hurt
Well they would if I had ears… uhh you’re the worst

[The Dealer verse 3]
Me and you, we are dancing on the edge of life and death
Until one of us gets a lucky shot and end’s the other’s breath
You can cry all you want, but it still won’t hurt me
Always acting insecure but it isn’t going to deter me

[Napstablook verse 3]
You’re dirty and it’s not really something I would doubt, see…
You barely even said a single thing about me
You’re stuck in this room cause the game has you bound
You’ll fail like every other time, and I’ll win the third round

Napstablook vs The Dealer - Rap Battle

CyanCoat como Steve
Zhrine como Quote
Hex Arcana como Alex
SuitHiro como Curly Brace

Letra: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HURLRgv8Vpoiqh_cVNFv65Dh3PzAWHcAaFVBrKoF4Ds/edit?usp=sharing

Escrito por CyanCoat
Mezclado por Freshy Kanal

Gracias especiales: The5oul, DoodlingMay, Cloud17, Masteredit
---

Lyrics (translated, not adapted) to English:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bfhKyppl77tfSpqzHvOZeRKmB8OJCsjEoI7g_x4w6yM/edit?usp=sharing

Minecraft vs Cave Story

M!cah as Fredbear 
ForgottenSons as Mike Tyson 
Art by WAN & MegaPMB 
Mixed by Zagranis 
CoverArt by Box 
Beat Prod. By Raias Beats

Lyrics: 

Mike Tyson: 
I step onto the Ring, causing Fazbear Frights now 
One swing and I’ll knock this This fat bears lights out 
Mash you against a wall, till you're withered and tethered 
Wreck your face, see you tryna put that shit back together 

You don’t see, I try to keep my damage in the ring still  
You wreck a marriage, getting your creators kid killed 
Growing up I had it tough, often I had empty plates 
Even then I´d never eat in your trashy pizza place
 
Don’t play games with me Teddy, it’s best run now 
But if you wanna do that, you finna end up punched out  
A failure build on failures of failure of failures of your creator 
A copycat and such a rat. Chuck. E cheesy faker 


Fredbear: 
Surprise, surprise Tyson already getting ticked off 
Went to rehab, but he still packs a couple Kilos 
It’s not the world’s fault got sidetracked and lost your spark 
Yourself make your PR team as useless as your bodyguards 

Man even your punchlines don’t hit, guess that’s the sad truth 
That verse was the biggest waste of ink since your tattoos
This heavyweight’s light work, at Freddy’s we catch you off guard 
Mess around with the springlocks, you’ll end up a locked jaw 

Mike Tyson: 
That’s it, I’ll put your broken fam thru a second mourn 
Man, your 20/20 ain’t shit to my 44 
See scoreboard, see you ain’t fit for the lore
See you’ve squat of screen time, see your soul mucus at your core?! 

Believe, I’ve my fair share of days rage has me itching 
I work them issues out, you ass just sits while twitching
You doin’ Jack if screaming while wailing is your fighting style 
Fuck a Game Theory, I already know who’s The Crying Child 

Fredbear: 
Now scamming with the Paul’s is the only Prime left in your reign 
Seriously? I’ve seen fancier boxers up on Calvin Klein (hey!)
On the bright side this fight to your prime beckons 
Based on the fact, it was over before even 20 seconds 

Your life’s unjust, but against it you can’t seem to fair better 
Now cough up waterworks behind Canelo and Mayweather 
Don’t worry Mike everyone has anger and has fears 
You need to vent, luckily for you I’m all ears 

The pressure kept building, and it left you defenseless 
Now you’re a shell of an Old Man, avoiding the Consequences 
It’s a TKO, times run out, and the bites taken 
The baddest man, keeps the devil waiting 
(Connection Terminated)

Fredbear vs Mike Tyson- Rap Battle! ft. forgottenSons & M!CAH

GABBER

YDGeon as Thomas Edison
ArnoldVA as Christopher Columbus
AbsoluteOni as Announcer

Written by 723freaky
Additional Writing Help by Ian Sparrow
Produced by 723freaky
Mixed and Mastered by 723freaky

[announcer]
AND NOW!!! GUY WHO STOLE A BUNCH OF INVENTIONS VS GUY WHO STOLE A BUNCH OF LAND!!! READY??? WHITE PEOPLE TECHNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (yuh!)

[verse 1: thomas edison]
correct me if my hearing’s wrong but i heard that you cravin’ smoke,
i ain't interested in buying your hemp but im tradin’ blows,
do ‘em like he did to natives, hoe, shove my fist right up the anushole
of this rapist, so hop back on your sailing boat,

cause my conversions broughts electric energy to light,
your conversions brought the wrongs of Christianity to light,
you dont hold a candle cause you just dont know the things that i know,
i dont hold a candle cause i got myself a lightbulb,

first youre a trader/traitor, then you're a savage,
then the most embarrassing governor since desantis,
couldn't be a spaniard, couldn't be a sailor,
even your heart turned out to be a massive failure.

[verse 2: christopher columbus]
ive searched every sea on several major expeditions,
and i still couldnt find one fucking thing that you invented,
other than the monthly bill to keep places luminescent,
only charge electricity when you're making it expensive,

kick em back to the days near a train, selling refreshments,
made the win possible and you aint taking any credit,
loser couldn't raise his kids cause patenting was more valuable,
abandoned dot and dash like your lab work was the telephone,

took money from others, couldn't stay out of their business,
until you were forced to, getting placed out of your business,
your current in the current is a relic with not one use,
even in your time the world alternated on you!

[interlude]
Thomas edison: sit down on your thinking chair, lemme give you a lecture.

Christopher, ok, you were a good thief,
but unfortunately you're the one that people fear the least 

Christopher Columbus: that's a bunch of bullshit, biggest lie ever,
times i didnt kill a native, probably never! (danii: fuck my stupid chud life)

Thomas Edison: fine, you win. you're a much better bandit,
doesn't change the fact your hat kinda makes you look like a very nice person 😇

Christopher Columbus: you look like your freaking wife when she did hardcore drugs,
i talked to your second one and i rocked her-

Thomas Edison: SIKE BITCH!!!

[verse 3: thomas edison]
pop em, spark em, char em, off em, shock em like the elephant,
if he says I'm irrelevant on the cement i cemented in,
the camera documenting this ass kicking you're getting, and
i even scribble out your influence with my electric pen,

if i was there when Chris was helming ships,
he'd kiss my ass for thinking of a way to get him where he's destined, then inventing it,
so to deny my influence is more misleading than the wind,
i've been breaking more ground than you broke stone with your chisel, bitch.

[verse 4: christopher columbus]
i aint taking no sweet shit from a diabetic,
best stay in your place unlike you did with general electric,
had the lightbulbs of other inventors screwed out they head,
if only you did that for your wife's tumor instead,

cause my name is christopher, and im from italy!
i was brought upon this planet to impose ascendancy!
while your relevance is dead, as the world keeps morphing,
dead unlike your wife if you took away her morphine.

danii: fuck my stupid chud life

Thomas Edison vs Christopher Columbus - Rap Battle! [SINGLE EDITION] (ft. YDGeon, ArnoldVA & Absolut

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles!

Dumbshlop as Oogie Boogie

ThanosQuack as Huggy Wuggy

Cover Art by TomPuffs

Art by Tompuffs

Mixed by Box

Written by King Ducky

Prod. Diamondstyle

Oogie Boogie:
Lookie rookie it’s the Oogie Boogie man!
Could he? Would he? Oh he would, he could, he can!
Run in through vents, escape fast!
Or I’ll put this to bed like a tranq dart 

Too bad you’re smothering sized you up to be 
A bumbling kaiju but to me 
We’re nothing alike, through stuff and seams
A crumbling child too dumb to speak
Lays stunted and cries to some degree.. but
Who who who
Who has more bugs stuck inside? You on release!

Huggy Wuggy:
Hi bud! Seems you’re a thicker buddy to fiddle with
I could see you in the bigger bodies initiative!  
That burlap sack is in a tight squeeze!
You're mad at the fans behind me when your armies a clique of kids?

I’m taking shape
Running through and making way
Something you can’t say the same 
Gainst me? Leader of the kkkfc!?

Yuh huh

Your spin-offs can stay a forgotten stain on Burton's name; squashed like his holiday was! 

Oogie Boogie:
He wanders alone at night
Through the halls where the gross have thrived
I spy the belly of utter mob homicide
Five Nights at Freddy’s conjured up clones alike
The martyr of YouTube kids
Hahaha.. your product line honours the prototype! 

Instead of soul or respect with them 
His devs would show their offensiveness 
Bad creations like FNAF animations
With fetish odor immense in em!
That check-ya-shoulder defense gimmick 
Or Ekrcoaster as theft-ridden 
Your devs couldn’t think outside the box if they get hit over the head with it!

Huggy Wuggy:
But once Jack first fought this bug satchel
One tug and your plot thread unraveled!
Undone as for what threat ya had well 
Stomped gone, had your bug head on gravel

Still evade light? Well explains why the pillowcase might get slept onto
Time to shine and you sprint away right before you die scorched and get the boot?
Pissed off Santa cant fix a trap to get rid of Jack cause
Boogie was blown out of proportion and fell off in a pit of lava

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles! [ft. Dumbshlop & ThanosQuack]

Welcome to the ??? installment of “Quick Diss”! We got three cosmo wandering cry babies for you this time! It's our favorite dynamic duo (assuming you stopped at season 2), Rick and Morty! Trying to solve the most confusing geometry equation I've ever seen, Bill Cipher!

Lyrics:
Rick:
Start the battle Morty.
Morty:
What the fuck? I don't know this pedo lord
I'm only shit talking this kid stalker ‘cuz you lost a bet to Ford!
Rick:
A version of me did, a-and I owed that Rick for Blips and Chitz
Billy undermines kids, so be quick and spit you little shit!
Morty:
God damn it, I thought I was done with bodiless farts 
Now I gotta humiliate a softy who was never solid to start!
Dissing you's a walk in the park, and I'm not amused by your cockiness
Wiped out your whole populace, but got popped by a pops and-

Bill Cipher:
Shut it, kid.
Well, hello Rick C-137 and Morty Prime
I've spent countless eons leaving know it all's mortified!
And you're another mammal biting more than they can chew, partner
Just a flesh puppet getting his heart strings pulled harder
At least Morty here's a victim of his parental figures
Your game got rigged by another Rick who's simply Ricker
What a sickly figure to that horse surgeon, most certain!
Got that poor girl searching for a dad that's more person
Yet I can see ALL your cybernetic enhancements
And not a single one that makes you more of a man, Rick
What was I expecting, I'll give into your demands then!
I'll bring Diane back for Morty’s mortal half-assets!
And you can have the life that you were forced to abandon
Leaving Beth and the rest of your family with all the baggage
You're such a selfish ass, that you'd do it without asking
But your ego can't handle handouts from shaking my hand, Rick!

Rick:
Ooh la la, someone here read the fucking wiki edits.
Such a stunted development, when your biggest stunt was seizing Reddit.
Dawg, you ain't the first to try the wife angle
Like I give a fuck when it's coming from some genocidal triangle!
You're half assed like your show is, so damn flat that you're coping
You're an ass hat with a bad sense of fascist, so you're posing
You don't pass as a show-man, ‘cause you're so mad that it's hopeless
You were in a cel in your second dimension, now you're incel posting!
I mean think about it, what'd they do disparaging you?
They got shared on the news ‘cause they didn't care for your views
And thaaat's the way it goes Bill, you're just a stuck-up fuck-up!
Release my grand-son and I'll hear your “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub’s”. (Bitch!)

Bill Cipher:
Oh wow, that's a great offer, how about instead I put Morty in stasis.
And make his own bubble where he KNOWS what his place is…
It ain't enabling self-hatred, hence the “evil” one made a statement
Or let's shake it? Your knowledge is SUCH a burden Rick, I'll take it!

-CAST-
Rick: Egomanic
Morty: Trakked
Bill Cipher: Flip D. Switch

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Worms
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: https://youtu.be/RqFsTUkx3PU?si=-a9Sg_-Fn3fzGUND
Beat Produced by: Zepelin Beats
Mixed by: jort

We'll meet again.

Rick and Morty vs Bill Cipher - (Quick Diss) #???

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

Commander Jacob

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