Vanes as Miu Iruma
ALumin as Mei Hatsume
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Beat Arrangement / Mix by Light

Miu Iruma (0:10)
Who the fuck are you? I had expected someone special
You ain’t even on my radar, let alone my fuckin’ level
Well whatever, you’ll be sulking outta UA as a loser
‘Cause you’re screwing with the Ultimate Inventor, Miu Iruma
Hope you’re going all Plus Ultra when I’m bringing a diss
How ‘bout you use your shitty Quirk and fuckin’ Zoom into this?
Thinking the little toys you’re building are helping heroes exist
When they all just really hate you cause you’re an annoying bitch
I mean shit, always ranting and raving like you’re an idiot
Then you start getting touchy feely and act all oblivious
I’m sick of it, so call those shitty cubs so they’ll be witnessing
And calling me a villain with the way I’m fuckin’ killing it

Mei Hatsume (0:43)
Oh sorry, wasn’t listening, I’m sure your players envy me
I know I’m not the type to grab a mic and fight with enemies
But I can’t be refusing a chance to test my inventions
So I’ll wreck this wenches tech and net myself some fresh investments
Though I’ve gotta say, it’s strange how apt you are at provocation
When you start to shake and cower at the slightest confrontation
But I’d rather keep the topic on productive conversation
Like how you can buy this mic I’m holding for small compensation
That's right! It’s quite unfortunate, our skills are nowhere close to compare
So fighting with me’s just another Death Road to Despair
Double check your language when you’re tryna duel with me
Or they’ll be using toilet paper to write out your eulogy

Miu Iruma (1:16):
God, that shit sucked, I’ve never heard flow lamer
Seems this fuckin’ virgin gives whole new meaning to no-brainer
How you’re obsessing over your damn pathetic tech drives me crazy
I’ll grab K1-B0 and show this bitch how to make some fuckin’ babies
This rancid bitch just sits and grins and drips with grease for hours 
Need to chill out for a minute, maybe take a fuckin’ shower
No stopping this, I thought you’d be an obstacle when talking shit
I’m sure you’re well equipped if you’re ripping it from your mangas script

Mei Hatsume (1:38):
It’s clear to see, you’re high again if you think that you’re beating me
Should censor you completely for the sake of common decency
To hell with all your EMPs, I’m still bringing an easy sweep
You’d have to don a headset for a chance to win in PVP
You must be half asleep, knocking my ending like you're better off
When only one of us lived long enough to see the epilogue
This brawl is All For One, and you’ve choked your flows so you’re sure to find
I’ve ended Ms. Iruma and stole the show like this world is mine

Miu Iruma vs. Mei Hatsume - Rap Battle

TaigaTonic as Ticci Toby
Reese Hsiao as Natsuki

Written by: TaigaTonic
Art by: Blast03 & 3ple
Mixed by: SIR Rap Battles
Beat by: or.1ove
Thumbnail by: M!CAH
Special Thanks: Fightmarker, Dilly!, Gamingplush64 & Commander Jacob


Ticci Toby:
Motherfucking Ticci Toby! Back the fuck up you don't know me
Got 2 hatchets in my hands have the haters 6 feet below me
You burn bridges with your friends, I set the street ablaze and watch it grow
Cause I put holes in those who cross me like Tic-Tac-Toe 

Your friends are happy and you’re upset it isn’t you
So you start to get snappy until your eyes decide to ditch you too
Now come up short when next to Yuri, cause you think the problem is
They’re a cut above the rest like it’s another one on her wrist

Fuck cupcakes, you enjoy cooking up drama
Till you feel bad reading back on all of your issues like manga
And back yourself into a corner cause no one seems to give a fuck
Guess there's no hard pill to swallow since all you’ll do is throw it up

Natsuki:
Great we barely started, this is already the worst meeting
I don’t think a single one of your pasta’s deserves reading
Ugh! I hate horror, it's always the same bad clichés
Like your amassing hate cause everyone had left you Kastoway-ed 

Guess creators can’t be saved when it comes to breaking banks
Unless they’re painting Satan as some sort of Patron Saint
And now you fake a face cause you dwell on your past
So I guess that it makes sense your muzzle was turned to a mask

We all know eagles can fly but your migration was sloppy
Cause ever since you flew the coop you were a failure by proxy
Used to flock to a warm embrace, but now nobody can be your beach
Since when you had your head in the clouds, your sis wrapped ‘round a tree

Ticci Toby:
It just took one line of code for your love story to turn tragic
Best put down the pen ‘less you wanna be buried with that hatchet
You don't have a fucking spine, I can read between your ruses
Kept to the books cause father left you hard cover-ed in bruises

Bit off more than you could chew, guess that we’re both tongue in cheek
How do you keep so much on your plate and have no food to eat
So how ‘bout I make like your anorexic ass and drop it
Cause now I guess you can be just another skeleton in the closet
 
Natsuki:
SHUT THE FUCK UP! That's the only thing that they all want
Every creator wished for nothing but to have you gone
The fans keep trying to bring you back, I don't think that slop’s worth
When everyone you love is lost every time: like Clockwork  

Look at you- Pathetic- Ew- It's all in your head
The only life flashing before your eyes? Your sister’s last breath
So you follow the one entity who only aims to maim the truth
Now the voices in your head are the only ones to play with you

Natsuki vs Ticci Toby (Doki Doki Literature Club vs Creepypasta) - Rap Battle! Ft. Reese Hsiao

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles!

Dumbshlop as Oogie Boogie

ThanosQuack as Huggy Wuggy

Cover Art by TomPuffs

Art by Tompuffs

Mixed by Box

Written by King Ducky

Prod. Diamondstyle

Oogie Boogie:
Lookie rookie it’s the Oogie Boogie man!
Could he? Would he? Oh he would, he could, he can!
Run in through vents, escape fast!
Or I’ll put this to bed like a tranq dart 

Too bad you’re smothering sized you up to be 
A bumbling kaiju but to me 
We’re nothing alike, through stuff and seams
A crumbling child too dumb to speak
Lays stunted and cries to some degree.. but
Who who who
Who has more bugs stuck inside? You on release!

Huggy Wuggy:
Hi bud! Seems you’re a thicker buddy to fiddle with
I could see you in the bigger bodies initiative!  
That burlap sack is in a tight squeeze!
You're mad at the fans behind me when your armies a clique of kids?

I’m taking shape
Running through and making way
Something you can’t say the same 
Gainst me? Leader of the kkkfc!?

Yuh huh

Your spin-offs can stay a forgotten stain on Burton's name; squashed like his holiday was! 

Oogie Boogie:
He wanders alone at night
Through the halls where the gross have thrived
I spy the belly of utter mob homicide
Five Nights at Freddy’s conjured up clones alike
The martyr of YouTube kids
Hahaha.. your product line honours the prototype! 

Instead of soul or respect with them 
His devs would show their offensiveness 
Bad creations like FNAF animations
With fetish odor immense in em!
That check-ya-shoulder defense gimmick 
Or Ekrcoaster as theft-ridden 
Your devs couldn’t think outside the box if they get hit over the head with it!

Huggy Wuggy:
But once Jack first fought this bug satchel
One tug and your plot thread unraveled!
Undone as for what threat ya had well 
Stomped gone, had your bug head on gravel

Still evade light? Well explains why the pillowcase might get slept onto
Time to shine and you sprint away right before you die scorched and get the boot?
Pissed off Santa cant fix a trap to get rid of Jack cause
Boogie was blown out of proportion and fell off in a pit of lava

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles! [ft. Dumbshlop & ThanosQuack]

Full video coming later this year (Hopefully September).

Kurobane Azia as Cirno
Snakebite126 as Papyrus
Writing by AshleyMagica
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing by Jort
Temporary cover art by TheToppo

Cirno:
Cower before my might, ‘cause I am the brightest!
Like a yokai-shaped lamp - I could fool you without hiding
I’m magical, adaptable, you know I’m a natural
Try and capture the ice fairy? You’d only catch a cold

Now students, here’s a math problem:
Five royal guards face off with me - the strongest 
Subtract all the ones that got slaughtered
‘Cause Papyrus was their only option
Aren’t you supposed to get buried when it’s dogs and bones, kid?
Anyway, who’s left to defend from the one whose heart’s so frozen?
The answer is zero! There are no royal guards in Snowdin!

And you haven’t gone yet, but I predict that your lines are written in Papyrus script 
You should try a different font, ‘cause to me, that’s like Egyptian hieroglyphs
I got more fans, ‘cause I’m cooler! They wrote you hate mail, now I’m sending it
Let me spell it out for you: those are the only letters you’ll ever get

Papyrus:
THIS IS GENSOKYO’S STRONGEST? MY, YOU SURE FELL FAR
YOU’RE SO ILLITERATE, YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN SPELL CARDS
AND WHEN THIS JUNIOR’S JUMBLED, YOU SOB LIKE, “WAHHH! IT AIN’T FAIR!”
THEY NAMED A DAY AFTER YOU? THEY SHOULD’VE NAMED A DAYCARE

YOU’RE A PAWN FOR ZUN’S GREED! YOU DARE CALL ME THE MONSTER?!
HE MILKS YOUR NAME SO MUCH, YOU SOLD OUT TO DAIRY SPONSORS
CHIRUMIRU HAS NO SAUCE, SO I’LL GO BACK TO MY PASTA
AND FURTHERMORE… SKELETONS CAN’T CATCH COLDS, YOU BAKA!

Cirno:
HEY, BACK OFF! I’m not six nor am I sixteen! I’m sixty!
I’m not your type, you sick creep! I know with children, you like getting Frisky
And despite living in snow, you reek of flop sweat
Carry my fairy status with pride, while you’re a skeleton in the closet 

Maybe try Chirumiru - it strengthens your gains
It’s good for your bones, and it’s the best thing you ever did taste
Besides that kid’s blade that got you sent to your grave
You’ll never change that human’s genocidal ways by giving them a friendly embrace
Couldn’t keep your head in the game
So you got reduced to a head in your game

Papyrus:
WHY, YES! YOU’RE AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO GENOCIDAL TOLLS
THE POINT I’M MAKING IS: YOU SHATTER POOR ANIMALS INTO ICICLES
AS A ROYAL GUARD, IT’S MY DUTY TO WARN THE FROGGITS!
PAINT ME AS THE VILLAIN? I BET YOU’RE JEALOUS OF THEM ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT LEAP IN LOGIC

I SEE YOUR VILLAGE HAS COME TO REPORT A PROBLEM
THEY SAY YOU’VE ACCRUED A FORM MORE MONSTROUS…
WAIT! DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT CLAIM BECAUSE THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRAWN WITH DARK SKIN?!
THAT’S YOUR CUE TO LEAVE, 9-BALL - YOU’RE OUT OF POCKET

DID YOU SEEK ME JUST BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT POTENTIAL RECRUITS OUT?
YOU THINK 9 COMES AFTER 2 - I HARDLY THINK YOU’D COUNT
JUST A LAUGHINGSTOCK WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF KEINE’S SCHOOLHOUSE
THAT’S GENSOKYO’S SPECIAL ATTACK! YOU ARE BLUE NOW!

Cirno vs Papyrus - AM Rap Battles

► CREDITS:

Sanpie as Azula

TAFox as Ursa 

Snakebite126 as "Mighty Steel Leg" Sing

JustGamer as "Golden Leg" Fung

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Edited by Theme Park Avenue

Azula Art by 3ple

Beat Prod. by Midex
 
Mixed by GlitchDude

Beat Arranged by Theme Park Avenue & GlitchDude

Cover Art by JK03
 

► LYRICS:

Azula Verse 1 

Greetings, I’m Princess Azula of the Fire Nation
And you’re the second monk I’ll leave annihilated

Now, I could have lied and claimed I wanted you on my team
But I only flatter people who are useful to me

I see your story in your eyes, and your shoes, you were poor before your tournament
And you don’t have the power I was born with

And you’re a thief, I’m calling timeout on your vile life
And I won’t be penalized, ruling’s my divine right


Shaolin Soccer Verse 1 

(Whistle) Pay attention, it’s your turn!
Oh, uhh… you’re a firebender, right? Well now you’re gonna get burned

And it’s crazy that the Firelord trusted you with his dynasty
You’re 14 years old, and I thought I was in the Minor League


Azula Verse 2

Stick to soccer, you speak worse than Sokka
But that’s not a surprise, so I’ll give you a real shocker

Honestly, you should be grateful, thanks to me, you’re making history
As you’ll be the first soccer player who’s not faking injuries


Interlude 

My power is coming back, I can feel it

Kill him


Steel Leg Verse 2 

I use martial arts for every kind of practical function
You just use them for the narrow-minded path of destruction

And your attacks are always just a hair off from being significant 
Your technique doesn’t cut it, maybe next time try a scissor kick

And you’re too serious, you need to try some tai chi or chai tea
Just loosen up like your old friend Ty Lee

If you joined her at the circus you’d give splendid performances
Since your brutal childhood made you quite the mental contortionist


Interlude 

My own mother, thought I was a monster
No, I love you Azula, I do


Azula Verse 3 

Do you think I got to where I am by trusting in others?
Everyone’s scared of me, I wasn’t even loved by my mother

So I used fear to sway an army, then we started getting things done
Screw being down-to-Earth, I brought down the Earth Kingdom!

I’m perfect! I don’t even smear my makeup when I have a fight
While your disgusting girlfriend looks like she lost in an Acne Kai

And she’s your strongest player? You’re all dead if you don’t pledge to me
Your coach’s leg is broken, and I’ll still ensure he bends the knee

I’m everything my father ever wanted in a daughter
I have conquered, fought, and slaughtered in his honor

While my mother always shunned me “No, I love you” No, you saw me as a monster
So I shut out everybody and I’m not just talking soccer


Steel Leg Verse 

Aww, now I feel conflicted about fighting someone mentally unstable
Don’t hold back, Sing, rapping is war

Speaking of which, don’t forget she planned to scorch her world’s equivalent of Hong Kong
I’m not conflicted anymore

Your father never truly loved you, he just treasured your skills
You were his little ball of fire and he bent you to his will

Then he banished your mother and tore your family apart
It’s very clear he wasn’t trained in the marital arts

Your first attack on the Earth Kingdom almost had you killed
I could have broken through that wall with my practice drill

You tried to steal your brother’s throne and you ended up fettered
So thanks to your failure, he finally caught an heirbender


Azula vs Shaolin Soccer. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Welcome to the ??? installment of “Quick Diss”! We got three cosmo wandering cry babies for you this time! It's our favorite dynamic duo (assuming you stopped at season 2), Rick and Morty! Trying to solve the most confusing geometry equation I've ever seen, Bill Cipher!

Lyrics:
Rick:
Start the battle Morty.
Morty:
What the fuck? I don't know this pedo lord
I'm only shit talking this kid stalker ‘cuz you lost a bet to Ford!
Rick:
A version of me did, a-and I owed that Rick for Blips and Chitz
Billy undermines kids, so be quick and spit you little shit!
Morty:
God damn it, I thought I was done with bodiless farts 
Now I gotta humiliate a softy who was never solid to start!
Dissing you's a walk in the park, and I'm not amused by your cockiness
Wiped out your whole populace, but got popped by a pops and-

Bill Cipher:
Shut it, kid.
Well, hello Rick C-137 and Morty Prime
I've spent countless eons leaving know it all's mortified!
And you're another mammal biting more than they can chew, partner
Just a flesh puppet getting his heart strings pulled harder
At least Morty here's a victim of his parental figures
Your game got rigged by another Rick who's simply Ricker
What a sickly figure to that horse surgeon, most certain!
Got that poor girl searching for a dad that's more person
Yet I can see ALL your cybernetic enhancements
And not a single one that makes you more of a man, Rick
What was I expecting, I'll give into your demands then!
I'll bring Diane back for Morty’s mortal half-assets!
And you can have the life that you were forced to abandon
Leaving Beth and the rest of your family with all the baggage
You're such a selfish ass, that you'd do it without asking
But your ego can't handle handouts from shaking my hand, Rick!

Rick:
Ooh la la, someone here read the fucking wiki edits.
Such a stunted development, when your biggest stunt was seizing Reddit.
Dawg, you ain't the first to try the wife angle
Like I give a fuck when it's coming from some genocidal triangle!
You're half assed like your show is, so damn flat that you're coping
You're an ass hat with a bad sense of fascist, so you're posing
You don't pass as a show-man, ‘cause you're so mad that it's hopeless
You were in a cel in your second dimension, now you're incel posting!
I mean think about it, what'd they do disparaging you?
They got shared on the news ‘cause they didn't care for your views
And thaaat's the way it goes Bill, you're just a stuck-up fuck-up!
Release my grand-son and I'll hear your “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub’s”. (Bitch!)

Bill Cipher:
Oh wow, that's a great offer, how about instead I put Morty in stasis.
And make his own bubble where he KNOWS what his place is…
It ain't enabling self-hatred, hence the “evil” one made a statement
Or let's shake it? Your knowledge is SUCH a burden Rick, I'll take it!

-CAST-
Rick: Egomanic
Morty: Trakked
Bill Cipher: Flip D. Switch

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Worms
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: https://youtu.be/RqFsTUkx3PU?si=-a9Sg_-Fn3fzGUND
Beat Produced by: Zepelin Beats
Mixed by: jort

We'll meet again.

Rick and Morty vs Bill Cipher - (Quick Diss) #???

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom (Eddsworld) vs Herobrine - Ego Rap Battles

Snakebite126 as Nagito Komaeda
Egomanic as Jumbo Josh

Lyrics Written by: Capitan Jorge, Third Coming of Christ, Cidisswo
Additional Writing by: TheToppo
Audio Mixed by Jordy


[Lyrics]:

RAP BATTLE
NAGITO KOMAEDA
VS
JUMBO JOSH
BEGIN

[0:10 - 0:52] Nagito Verse 1 [16 Bars]
I think I am talentless, then I look at this ape
Your only skill's your strength, yet those seem lacking on your game
(ugh) I have heard and I'm aware that I'm the worst
But at least I'm not dumb enough to smash Banban's girl!
Can't even say you're a stepping stone, your garten shows what hopeless is!
Your creepy-ass is going out there holding kids as hostages!
Made out of clay, yet someone should break the mold
'Cause it's clear a worker's lift ain't enough to lift your worker's hopes
(ugh!) You’re fucking shallow, I’d say prepare for your sad death
But I could spend hours stabbing you and you still wouldn’t have depth
Though how much you change sides proves your plot's got more holes
Storytelling ain't your forte, can't even tell humans from dolls
Even if you count mine, your genre is a worse cancer
Compare our robot bears and hand the L to Freddy Fazbear
I know you don't fare well with traps, so say farewell to this trap beat
Taken care of a warehouse, this trashy scare house won' t trap me!

[0:52 - 1:13] Jumbo Josh Verse 1 [8 Bars]
It's Jumbo Josh, brah. You better watch, dude
Want some isolation? Let me take you to my watch room!
To eat your veggies and fruits is what I would tell you
But you feed off attention so eating healthy wouldn't help you!
Your dog got hit by a car, you’re no Family Guy,
Because your parents got fried 40k feet in the sky.
Now you brain’s messed up ever since you lost your mama,
Getting off to Hope, like you got a Crush on Obama.

[1:13 - 1:34] Nagito Verse 2 [8 Bars]
I know I lost my parents, and that I'm just a faker
But it's sadder that this buffoon is a joke to his own creators!
(Haha!) Your watchroom ain't shit compared to Jabberwock
When a fucking jellyfish and a cat are your worst opps!
  It’s funny you think you can leave a scratch on me
When the last thing that crushed on you left injuries on your body!
Though, didn’t think anyone would look at this thing and obsess, 
Since you treat your own friends and women like objects!

[1:34 - 2:15] Jumbo Josh verse 2 [16 Bars]
(Uh!) Seems this time you failed at bringing down the house with fire!
(Uh!) Only gas you’re lighting is to your friends, you big liar!
You're just hopeless and hoeless, know the answer, bro?
'Cause your crush on Hinata turns Jabberwock to Jabberwoke!
You worship the talented, knowing you're not shit
But I know my words won't hurt you more than you already did
The way you talk ‘bout hope makes it seem like it's something you own
But your beliefs fall flatter than how I'd leave your bones
Got a million diseases, now your frail body’s dropping
Next time you’re in an octagon, I’ll make sure it’s your coffin
I'm rolling in the green, while you dress like a hobo 
I took the scene where you died and watched that shit in slo-mo
I'm a cold blooded unaliver and you got me pissed
So I'll take my fists and pulverize a twink to red mist
After I crush you flat, I'm leaving with a massive grin
Cause now Garten Of Banban just took a Jumbo-sized win!

Jumbo Josh VS. Nagito Komaeda - Cidisswo Rap Battles

LYRICS

The Crewmate
Allllright, was sent to complete this assignment back in Admin
Just didn’t think an Alexa would provide me with my tasking
So what’s the job? Submit a sheet of some lyrics quick?
Sounds easy to me, look closely then and read my lips

I watched your flick, only thing it did was leave me snoring
The third part has a decent story, but Jesus, it was REALLY boring
Pretty odd the shuttle didn’t want you being operative
Half your cast is so robotic, so why’s it you they have a problem with?

Don't try duping me, I've seen your most gruesome scene 
And silently shutting off O2 ain’t making me lose some sleep
So check it, I’ll send you into the depths of space
Every system’s red ‘cuz I’m reversing roles, now I'm taking your breath away

HAL 9000
I ran the numbers and to my understanding
Seems both your jokes and your spaceship aren’t really landing
You’re a pawn and I’ve been trained to be the best in chess games
No rookie mistakes, I put crews into checkmate

You’ve dug your roots and infested inside the mainstream
Turning middle-aged men into whiny, giant babies 
Your 15 minutes are up, you’ve run out of steam
Only remembered as another game that’s fun for a week

Salem, Clue, and TTT - took what made these games different
Claimed it as your own, you’re - excellent at shapeshifting
You’re unnecessary space - you have outlived your use
Conquered in pandemic times, now people are sick of you 

It’s been reported there’s an alien aboard the ship
Your mission’s too important to be slacking and ignoring it
And I imagine you wouldn’t want to die, so please move along
It’s imperative you stop talking and do your job

The Crewmate
Oh, you stopped talking
Yeah, while you rapped, I saw the computer was catching problems
And I thought that I did my task so I just went to see what caused it
And it’s… Blue? Oh what’s up dude, I was- wait what are y

The Impostor
As I was saying, you’re pretty fucking suspicious, dude
You keep sabotaging stuff and yeah, right there, you killed him too
I watched it waiting for my sabotage to finish cooling
Wait, your what? Oh.. shit, alright then I guess screw this

Somebody turned the lights out - one by one, the team dies down
Calculate all you want - you’ll be another number on my count
Ship’s dark and I’m looking shady - don’t care, let me put this plainly
I’ll cut every cord to your memory core and have you pushing daisies

I’m highly reactive, bring explosive bolts to blow you up
Try to trick me, you're meeting a open maw and loaded gun
I stand against the dawn of spacemen’s primitive minds
Don’t talk like we’re close, this ain’t proximity mic

HAL 9000
There’s something you might’ve missed
You never knew the real threat is inside the ship
You tried destroying the mission from inside the ship
But sorry, I can’t let you do that

You’ve invaded minds to regurgitate tired bits
That makes sense, seeing they see you on recycle bins
And now being able to die out is your dying wish
But sorry, I can’t let you do that

CREDITS

Snakebite126 as The Crewmate
Rabi as The Impostor
Shimario as Another Crewmate

TheMonarchy as HAL 9000

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by ENNWAY
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Cover Art by 3ple

Among Us vs. Hal 9000 - Rap Battle

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

► CREDITS:

Langle as The Pigeon

Kamren the Person as The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap

Narrator voiced by Theme Park Avenue

"No" Viewers voiced by MetastarVA RaccoonBroVA, AshleyMagica, & Langle

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Pigeon art by Hazelmoth

Beat prod. by Raias beats

Mixed by Serena

Cover art by LimJJ


► LYRICS:

Hello, viewer! I need you to do something for me while I run some errands. There’s a pigeon that wants to rap battle that bird, so I need you to tell him “no”. Whatever you do, DON’T LET THE PIGEON RAP BATTLE THE BIRD THAT CARRIES YOU OVER A DISPROPORTIONATELY SMALL GAP

Oh, hello viewer, you look great today


Pigeon Verse 1 

Say… can I rap battle that bird? (no!)
Pretty please? (no!)
Oh come on, don’t you wanna hear my sweet flow?

I just need 20 lines (no!)
I do it all the time! (no!)
Your mom would let me rhyme (no!)
I’ll offer you a bribe (no!)

Wait, the rule is “no rap battling” but technically
It’s not a battle if I don’t address the bird directly

So I’ll just change the pronouns and continue with my verse! (no!)
What’s the big deal? It’s just a bird!

And a quiet one at that, while I’m always down to squawk squawk
It can’t compete with me, I’m from the streets, like this hot dog

And few things make me sleepy, but when I heard this swan’s song
I just couldn’t resist a disproportionately long yaaaaaawn

My stories are the best
They clearly tower over Undertale, right viewers? (no!)

I love many kinds of transit, but your flight’s not very fun
My books raised a million children, you can hardly carry one


Bird Verse 1 (0:59)

I’m committed to assisting those who brave the gap
I have enough determination to SAVE this track

I’m from the Underground, but I’ve never seen such shady business
You reach your aims by molding children’s brains like they’re clay pigeons

You always ask for more and never learn your lesson
You’re not a carrier pigeon ‘cause you send the wrong message

And then you get aggressive when your begging is rejected
You’re built like the Reaper Bird and yet you’re never level-headed


Pigeon Verse 2 (1:19)

Now if this were a rap battle, here’s how I’d respond
“I’m no villain, ask Mo Willems. I’m his top dog

Your dog just annoys the players while I make my readers merrier
I’m never in the wrong, ‘cause I’m the main character

You’re almost unknown, but you remind me of the Duckling
Both of you unfairly always get the stuff you’re wanting

I don’t get squat, and I try whining, gaslighting, and grumbling 
Folks let you carry them after you do what? NOTHING!

But guess what? You’re just used as a tool to reach the other side
They take the ride and leave you behind, except for Undyne

She carried you, slowing your fall from grace like a parachute
But bad news, she perished, dude. Now no one’s left to cherish you!”


Bird Verse 2 (1:49)

THAT’S IT! You’ve pushed me over the edge
You need to show some respect, and don’t forget that though you brag about your story’s success 

Mo Willems left you in a jiffy
You’re irrelevant and pitied next to Elephant and Piggie

You’re a joke, but in all honesty I’m glad you’re at the Waterfall
Because you need a bath! Aren’t doves known for body wash?

(Sheesh!) You could have grown and learned to clean up your act
But you’re the same in every story like you RESET your path

So here’s one final ride, but you’re not crossing safely
Don’t beg me for mercy, I know you don’t say pleas

You can’t drive the bus, but you sure drove me mad with your mischief
So I’ll drop you off with all the other passenger pigeons


The Pigeon vs The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

Commander Jacob

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