Vanes as Miu Iruma
ALumin as Mei Hatsume
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Beat Arrangement / Mix by Light

Miu Iruma (0:10)
Who the fuck are you? I had expected someone special
You ain’t even on my radar, let alone my fuckin’ level
Well whatever, you’ll be sulking outta UA as a loser
‘Cause you’re screwing with the Ultimate Inventor, Miu Iruma
Hope you’re going all Plus Ultra when I’m bringing a diss
How ‘bout you use your shitty Quirk and fuckin’ Zoom into this?
Thinking the little toys you’re building are helping heroes exist
When they all just really hate you cause you’re an annoying bitch
I mean shit, always ranting and raving like you’re an idiot
Then you start getting touchy feely and act all oblivious
I’m sick of it, so call those shitty cubs so they’ll be witnessing
And calling me a villain with the way I’m fuckin’ killing it

Mei Hatsume (0:43)
Oh sorry, wasn’t listening, I’m sure your players envy me
I know I’m not the type to grab a mic and fight with enemies
But I can’t be refusing a chance to test my inventions
So I’ll wreck this wenches tech and net myself some fresh investments
Though I’ve gotta say, it’s strange how apt you are at provocation
When you start to shake and cower at the slightest confrontation
But I’d rather keep the topic on productive conversation
Like how you can buy this mic I’m holding for small compensation
That's right! It’s quite unfortunate, our skills are nowhere close to compare
So fighting with me’s just another Death Road to Despair
Double check your language when you’re tryna duel with me
Or they’ll be using toilet paper to write out your eulogy

Miu Iruma (1:16):
God, that shit sucked, I’ve never heard flow lamer
Seems this fuckin’ virgin gives whole new meaning to no-brainer
How you’re obsessing over your damn pathetic tech drives me crazy
I’ll grab K1-B0 and show this bitch how to make some fuckin’ babies
This rancid bitch just sits and grins and drips with grease for hours 
Need to chill out for a minute, maybe take a fuckin’ shower
No stopping this, I thought you’d be an obstacle when talking shit
I’m sure you’re well equipped if you’re ripping it from your mangas script

Mei Hatsume (1:38):
It’s clear to see, you’re high again if you think that you’re beating me
Should censor you completely for the sake of common decency
To hell with all your EMPs, I’m still bringing an easy sweep
You’d have to don a headset for a chance to win in PVP
You must be half asleep, knocking my ending like you're better off
When only one of us lived long enough to see the epilogue
This brawl is All For One, and you’ve choked your flows so you’re sure to find
I’ve ended Ms. Iruma and stole the show like this world is mine

Miu Iruma vs. Mei Hatsume - Rap Battle

TheToppo as Little Beak and Little Penguin Lost
Mixed and cover art by Cidisswo
Beat by Insanebeatz

Special Thanks:
WhozPhantom
Euphoric Brothers
Nintendo

[little beak verse 1]
The Garten’s done sweeping up the Dandy’s World fuckers
Now they want me to fight a penguin with a vacant mother
Fuck it, I can take care of you quick like i was Mario
Go ahead and jump, fatty, it’ll be some nice cardio (FATASS!)

You kept coming back in Mario Party
But no one invited your ass, you’re even spectating their Karting
You charge at everybody in Mario Party 8
But in the movie, your kingdom got fucked up by Bowser’s army

Sure, I’m often talked down upon because of my game’s design
But I’ve never seen a single thing as scary as your Lego’s eyes
Waddle down to Dire Dire Docks, I’ll catch your dumbass drowning
Then I’ll drop your dead body down into the fucking mountains, bitch!

[little penguin lost verse 1]
You shoulda just went on to fight Toodles
Cause I’m ‘bout to turn the dial up as much as your pupils
And your forehead’s so big, I thought I was fighting a lightbulb
But you’re not the brightest, your eyes are more like black holes 

I gotta ask, what the fuck is your problem?
You had like 5 different siblings ‘till your foster mother dropped them
And if I was in your situation, I’d be terrified
If my actual mother was snacking down on her child (Ew!)

You’re talkin’ ‘bout me being dropped off a cliff
But it’s not nearly as bad as what Bouncelia did
She knocked you into a barrel of GV
So maybe you should hop back into it if you’re trying to beat me 

[little beak verse 2]
I see your brethren in Sparks of Hope
But I can tell you don’t have any with how hard you choked
Waddle away, Happy Feet, go back to your careless mom
I bet she’d rather have your lookalike and straight up have you gone

[little penguin lost verse 2]
You got mutated and you won a fight against a dinosaur
But you got crushed between an iron door and now you’re kinda sore
You ran cause you can’t fly in this form and after that
Your poor mom was naughtified to the core, can’t reincarnate her back.

Little Beak vs Little Penguin Lost - Rap Battle

hi

Beat produced by Surce
Mixed by Dr. Dee
Written by Worms

ColeTheCole as Bigfoot
Dr. Dee as Luigi

Lyrics:

Bigfoot:
You'll find, in my countryside, nothing that you were coached for
So run and hide from this fucking icon of gaming folklore 
Crept ‘round the code since 04, they cut you out day zero
Couldn't even take second place when your brother's still the hero?
Leaving hunters screaming crazy when stepped up to seek and maim me
I'll prove stereotypes right when I eat up this weakling baby
But maybe you'd fit my diet, this fruit just shoots and blows up?
Eternal star’s fried, gassed up then died, supernova
Don't throw a clue in the direction of a load of stupid youths that are all betting 
That you'll show up, new; so duped then get all petty when they do it all over again for Waluigi
And I'm feeling greedy, take that bounty on your head and
You don't gotta haul your vacuum to come suck on this legend 
When ya step into my damn den, you better hit up all your pen pals
To write a reply letter on how Luigi's fucking dead now

Luigi:
It's pareidolic, kid, if you see plays where you're winning this
When my plaques text is clearer than your countless glitching clips
Perhaps you should get CJ to relay ya some steep pay 
Just to rank up enough gold to summon this king (aye!)
I get introversion, but it likely got in the way
When your whole species decayed cuz you couldn't quickly get laid
I'm not entertained, and while I'm used to savin’ strays in paintings 
Can't say if jpegs in Photoshop equate to the same thing 
So call up Leatherface to mask the shame of coming second place
To a better gaming fable on the net and it's
Quite insane the only footprint you left in your game
Was a runaway furry fetishist 
You're tripping Peyotes if you think that you're beating me, Beast 
Dropping bombs like I was removed from GTA 3
But I don't need to blast a bus of your believers ,
To see in your debug you're completely a cheat!
So id stay back in your cabin if we wanna talk leaks; you're delisted while they breached to spot me
No chance on a plan on restarting his populace, devs tossed this freak long before his Hot Coffee 
Ain't got me feeling shaken by the edges of your polygons
I've been left more quaking by hulking apes from even Donkey Kong

Bigfoot:
Hang yourself in my shadow cuz everybody's forgetting ya
No wonder you were cut out because they ran out of memory
It's a goose chase of racing endless laps around your statue
A coin flip in your fountain ain't a wish big enough to add you
Like with Wario, they begged for; now you're obscured by his apparitions
Wide and far they stretched truths for a glimpse of hope you weren't omitted 
This shit isn't Double Dash, your L ain't capped on backwards 
Smoking your ass like Backwoods in the depths of my back woods

Luigi:
Nobody's impressed by those lines or your tears 
You weren't even the focus when you finally appeared 
Call me Dr. Luigi, how I'm curing this mass hysteria
Keep you hiding on Chiliad, no more sightings are flaring up (hahahaha)

Bigfoot In San Andreas vs. L Is Real 2401 - Rap Battle #1

TheMonarchy as Sniper
RedRob as Mercenary

Written, produced and mixed by Casey
Thumbnail by Jamie12o4

Sniper:
Welp, guess I'll start. I got a job I reckon
I'd take any target over Hopoo's sloppy seconds
But guessing each move you'll make ain't a task I'm giving way to
Seeing this broke fake, I'd obliterate too!
Right. I'll give you credit, they really made your meta great
But look at your setup, mate: you look like a metal crate
That's seen better days, so your jumps can't
Save Merc's skin from this merciless huntsman
So before you're getting behind me like 'nothing personnel'
I'm priming my machete to blind you right through your cursed helm
And when the job's all done and over and I'm saying my farewell
I'll keep that sword of yours as a trophy and you can burn in hell!
I land mad hits to have your pals packin'
You can't crack wit with your lack of voice actin'
So before your petty verse starts, my one gripe:
…Don't bring a sword to a gun fight.

Merc:
I'd give you a tour of my place, but would you take it?
I roll with ancient machinations and mages
I hear the claim to your fame's that you're an ace with your aim
But brace for the pain, your scope won't help you when I slice my blade through your face!
And here's a list of your traits, it consists of your base crits
So keep your Jarate, this assassin don't take piss
But we're both not that great within space since
This prick walked in a rocket as a baby and ate shit!
From moon shrines to crude sites, what's the real crime:
Newts' or your black market's Bazaar Between Time?
Your franchise needs to cop a part 3
'Cause since half your players left, it's been Mann vs Machine

Sniper:
Can you pause for a second? I don't wanna hear talkin'
From a bloke wearing a fuckin' fish bowl on his noggin
I'm surrounded by more golden flows than a Loader main
The only gold you'll leave in is a load of rain!
Ya bloody half-wit, I don't need to hit!
Scanned your surroundings, I'm not the one who wants you to quit
And that Gearbox deal sealed your story
So I'll tell whoever the hell commissioned me my job was done for me

Merc:
God, for a trained assassin you keep fumbling hits
Nothing but crits? Buddy, you just did nothing but miss
You wanna trade blows, but it ain't on your payroll
'Cause your name's a scapegoat, while in foes I make holes!
Wanna test me, Mundy? Where the fuck is your crew?
Waiting for a shot while they defend the frontlines for you?
Quit it with your dumb spiel, go and pick the door dude
Or you'll be another formless corpse that I tore through!
I don't need a rifle to gouge hacks
Three-tap this outback alien outcast!
You don't get a final stand, your timer's been cracked dude
I'm not talking aimbots when I say I hacked you

Sniper (TF2) vs Mercenary (RoR2) - Indie Game Rap Battles #5 [AUDIO]

Peppino vs. Linguini - Royal Rap Battle!

PS I know this beat is overused but this has been in production for 2 years so shut up 😭 

Taiga As Peppino

Toppo As Linguini 

Cover art by Box

Mixed by Jort

Art by Epic Monkey 

Written by King Ducky

Peppino: 

Undercooked wings then crown on a meatball
Next you put in a douse of the weak sauce
Voila! A flop! Is his outcome of each job
Only things to cushion that are couch ones ya sleep on!

Since then your job was the kitchens worn wash cloth that rinses bad
A sickening rat fixes your problems? Rat in the hat!
My tough hearts strong unlike that dumb fart, Paps
As soon as one star dropped, one star dropped

Linguini:
My restaurant has a stack of dirty dishes riled
But… uh… not as fat as that big debt pile
Your the true villain it’s a due diligence 
As Matpat laid it out for us, that's a kitchen tile!

Your posture is preposterous, not mention a lot of debt that the guys hooked right to  
Id stick my neck out but I’d look like you 
Like you through tubes and YouTube kids; that’s you too many let me cook my food.  

Peppino:
You're tellin me to let you cook? Well then what am I to do
If Remmy rides in n' begins writing all of your lines for you?
Now you head the restaurant when you weren’t invited to
It won’t be long before people die from what’s  inside the food

I can’t stomach that, 
having a rodent pull at your roots like you’re some kind of puppet man
Would mom and dad be proud that their boy is one with rats?
Because of that sickness in his family tree I thought you’d put some in rap

Linguini:
When talking profit Mr.Stick had robbed him of it
From blocking bosses to stopping progress there's not a cent you’re running off with!
You cannot last as Anton Blast has lapped this
Chicken,
Can’t let go even when a chicken drags him with it

You’re a has been to fans or a flash in the pan, sorry 
he had at but a chance for being 4d then 
scrapped his backstory
And you’re as anxious as boring 
A thicker Skinner can’t score a win, he can barely stand for it

Peppino vs. Linguini - Royal Rap Battle! [ft. Taiga & Toppo]

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles!

Dumbshlop as Oogie Boogie

ThanosQuack as Huggy Wuggy

Cover Art by TomPuffs

Art by Tompuffs

Mixed by Box

Written by King Ducky

Prod. Diamondstyle

Oogie Boogie:
Lookie rookie it’s the Oogie Boogie man!
Could he? Would he? Oh he would, he could, he can!
Run in through vents, escape fast!
Or I’ll put this to bed like a tranq dart 

Too bad you’re smothering sized you up to be 
A bumbling kaiju but to me 
We’re nothing alike, through stuff and seams
A crumbling child too dumb to speak
Lays stunted and cries to some degree.. but
Who who who
Who has more bugs stuck inside? You on release!

Huggy Wuggy:
Hi bud! Seems you’re a thicker buddy to fiddle with
I could see you in the bigger bodies initiative!  
That burlap sack is in a tight squeeze!
You're mad at the fans behind me when your armies a clique of kids?

I’m taking shape
Running through and making way
Something you can’t say the same 
Gainst me? Leader of the kkkfc!?

Yuh huh

Your spin-offs can stay a forgotten stain on Burton's name; squashed like his holiday was! 

Oogie Boogie:
He wanders alone at night
Through the halls where the gross have thrived
I spy the belly of utter mob homicide
Five Nights at Freddy’s conjured up clones alike
The martyr of YouTube kids
Hahaha.. your product line honours the prototype! 

Instead of soul or respect with them 
His devs would show their offensiveness 
Bad creations like FNAF animations
With fetish odor immense in em!
That check-ya-shoulder defense gimmick 
Or Ekrcoaster as theft-ridden 
Your devs couldn’t think outside the box if they get hit over the head with it!

Huggy Wuggy:
But once Jack first fought this bug satchel
One tug and your plot thread unraveled!
Undone as for what threat ya had well 
Stomped gone, had your bug head on gravel

Still evade light? Well explains why the pillowcase might get slept onto
Time to shine and you sprint away right before you die scorched and get the boot?
Pissed off Santa cant fix a trap to get rid of Jack cause
Boogie was blown out of proportion and fell off in a pit of lava

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles! [ft. Dumbshlop & ThanosQuack]

Full video coming later this year (Hopefully September).

Kurobane Azia as Cirno
Snakebite126 as Papyrus
Writing by AshleyMagica
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing by Jort
Temporary cover art by TheToppo

Cirno:
Cower before my might, ‘cause I am the brightest!
Like a yokai-shaped lamp - I could fool you without hiding
I’m magical, adaptable, you know I’m a natural
Try and capture the ice fairy? You’d only catch a cold

Now students, here’s a math problem:
Five royal guards face off with me - the strongest 
Subtract all the ones that got slaughtered
‘Cause Papyrus was their only option
Aren’t you supposed to get buried when it’s dogs and bones, kid?
Anyway, who’s left to defend from the one whose heart’s so frozen?
The answer is zero! There are no royal guards in Snowdin!

And you haven’t gone yet, but I predict that your lines are written in Papyrus script 
You should try a different font, ‘cause to me, that’s like Egyptian hieroglyphs
I got more fans, ‘cause I’m cooler! They wrote you hate mail, now I’m sending it
Let me spell it out for you: those are the only letters you’ll ever get

Papyrus:
THIS IS GENSOKYO’S STRONGEST? MY, YOU SURE FELL FAR
YOU’RE SO ILLITERATE, YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN SPELL CARDS
AND WHEN THIS JUNIOR’S JUMBLED, YOU SOB LIKE, “WAHHH! IT AIN’T FAIR!”
THEY NAMED A DAY AFTER YOU? THEY SHOULD’VE NAMED A DAYCARE

YOU’RE A PAWN FOR ZUN’S GREED! YOU DARE CALL ME THE MONSTER?!
HE MILKS YOUR NAME SO MUCH, YOU SOLD OUT TO DAIRY SPONSORS
CHIRUMIRU HAS NO SAUCE, SO I’LL GO BACK TO MY PASTA
AND FURTHERMORE… SKELETONS CAN’T CATCH COLDS, YOU BAKA!

Cirno:
HEY, BACK OFF! I’m not six nor am I sixteen! I’m sixty!
I’m not your type, you sick creep! I know with children, you like getting Frisky
And despite living in snow, you reek of flop sweat
Carry my fairy status with pride, while you’re a skeleton in the closet 

Maybe try Chirumiru - it strengthens your gains
It’s good for your bones, and it’s the best thing you ever did taste
Besides that kid’s blade that got you sent to your grave
You’ll never change that human’s genocidal ways by giving them a friendly embrace
Couldn’t keep your head in the game
So you got reduced to a head in your game

Papyrus:
WHY, YES! YOU’RE AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO GENOCIDAL TOLLS
THE POINT I’M MAKING IS: YOU SHATTER POOR ANIMALS INTO ICICLES
AS A ROYAL GUARD, IT’S MY DUTY TO WARN THE FROGGITS!
PAINT ME AS THE VILLAIN? I BET YOU’RE JEALOUS OF THEM ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT LEAP IN LOGIC

I SEE YOUR VILLAGE HAS COME TO REPORT A PROBLEM
THEY SAY YOU’VE ACCRUED A FORM MORE MONSTROUS…
WAIT! DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT CLAIM BECAUSE THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRAWN WITH DARK SKIN?!
THAT’S YOUR CUE TO LEAVE, 9-BALL - YOU’RE OUT OF POCKET

DID YOU SEEK ME JUST BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT POTENTIAL RECRUITS OUT?
YOU THINK 9 COMES AFTER 2 - I HARDLY THINK YOU’D COUNT
JUST A LAUGHINGSTOCK WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF KEINE’S SCHOOLHOUSE
THAT’S GENSOKYO’S SPECIAL ATTACK! YOU ARE BLUE NOW!

Cirno vs Papyrus - AM Rap Battles

Welcome to the ??? installment of “Quick Diss”! We got three cosmo wandering cry babies for you this time! It's our favorite dynamic duo (assuming you stopped at season 2), Rick and Morty! Trying to solve the most confusing geometry equation I've ever seen, Bill Cipher!

Lyrics:
Rick:
Start the battle Morty.
Morty:
What the fuck? I don't know this pedo lord
I'm only shit talking this kid stalker ‘cuz you lost a bet to Ford!
Rick:
A version of me did, a-and I owed that Rick for Blips and Chitz
Billy undermines kids, so be quick and spit you little shit!
Morty:
God damn it, I thought I was done with bodiless farts 
Now I gotta humiliate a softy who was never solid to start!
Dissing you's a walk in the park, and I'm not amused by your cockiness
Wiped out your whole populace, but got popped by a pops and-

Bill Cipher:
Shut it, kid.
Well, hello Rick C-137 and Morty Prime
I've spent countless eons leaving know it all's mortified!
And you're another mammal biting more than they can chew, partner
Just a flesh puppet getting his heart strings pulled harder
At least Morty here's a victim of his parental figures
Your game got rigged by another Rick who's simply Ricker
What a sickly figure to that horse surgeon, most certain!
Got that poor girl searching for a dad that's more person
Yet I can see ALL your cybernetic enhancements
And not a single one that makes you more of a man, Rick
What was I expecting, I'll give into your demands then!
I'll bring Diane back for Morty’s mortal half-assets!
And you can have the life that you were forced to abandon
Leaving Beth and the rest of your family with all the baggage
You're such a selfish ass, that you'd do it without asking
But your ego can't handle handouts from shaking my hand, Rick!

Rick:
Ooh la la, someone here read the fucking wiki edits.
Such a stunted development, when your biggest stunt was seizing Reddit.
Dawg, you ain't the first to try the wife angle
Like I give a fuck when it's coming from some genocidal triangle!
You're half assed like your show is, so damn flat that you're coping
You're an ass hat with a bad sense of fascist, so you're posing
You don't pass as a show-man, ‘cause you're so mad that it's hopeless
You were in a cel in your second dimension, now you're incel posting!
I mean think about it, what'd they do disparaging you?
They got shared on the news ‘cause they didn't care for your views
And thaaat's the way it goes Bill, you're just a stuck-up fuck-up!
Release my grand-son and I'll hear your “Wubba Lubba Dub Dub’s”. (Bitch!)

Bill Cipher:
Oh wow, that's a great offer, how about instead I put Morty in stasis.
And make his own bubble where he KNOWS what his place is…
It ain't enabling self-hatred, hence the “evil” one made a statement
Or let's shake it? Your knowledge is SUCH a burden Rick, I'll take it!

-CAST-
Rick: Egomanic
Morty: Trakked
Bill Cipher: Flip D. Switch

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Worms
Written by: JaCoN
Beat: https://youtu.be/RqFsTUkx3PU?si=-a9Sg_-Fn3fzGUND
Beat Produced by: Zepelin Beats
Mixed by: jort

We'll meet again.

Rick and Morty vs Bill Cipher - (Quick Diss) #???

Ego as Tom
Ego as Herobrine
Ego as Edd, Matt, and Tord
Written by: Ego, Kyllisto
Mixed by: jordy
Cover art by: Cidisswo

LYRICS:

EGO RAP BATTLES!!!!

HEROBRINE!!!!

VS!!!!

TOM!!!!

BEGIN!!!!

[Herobrine]
It’s the, urban legend27, haunting your bros seed 
Bloodying you, vans to hair, thats how I coat steves
Your only sharp at the top, like my pyramids,
Just go check the html files, BITCH I’M HIM
Thought the drip was on point, but you look like pointed dripstone
So i wouldn’t split hairs or he might end up breaking his bones
I build structures, you get hammered and fail
Pencil neck, but I’ll be the one to drag you to hell
Got no balls, top to bottom, like your old design, you’ll flatline
But thinking bout your fanart makes me glad that I don’t have eyes

[Tom]
Holy texture change on a painting! Your flow is shit!
The funny thing about that, though: you don't exist
*sigh* pass the smirnoff, I’m stomping this hoax
Cuz y’know, I believe you, but my tomee bear don’t (Lame)
You’re no 303, you 404, with each forum page
I’m up against the fuckface taken down in every up-date?
I’ll blow up your dang place, make a mess of your blank face
Like your source code, what's left of you there won’t be a trace!

[Herobrine]
This eyeless jackoff needs a mask on to save face
But If Eddsworld was a band, than you’d play bass
No saving your save file, when I emerge from dark fog
So I’ll commence with the roasting like a burning montage
Classic stupid Tom, what's some bible student next to a god?
Your family tree is one that even I dont wanna touch on

[Tom]
Graduated from monster school, where your pupils lie and now
You’ve been milked by content farms, since they mistook you for a cow
And you’re supposed to be some evil spirit....? That’s some tame shit
Have you seen your bro’s statements? Even he’s filled with more hatred (ugh!)
I kill clones, you won’t survive against me
While I broke out of newgrounds, you got mining fatigue
I’ll treat this dead meme, like his livestream, and take his ass down
You ended how you started: by fading in the background

Edd: Wow, that was a great battle!
Tord: Oh definitely
Matt: Absolutely
Tom: No one will ever love me!

Tom (Eddsworld) vs Herobrine - Ego Rap Battles

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

► CREDITS:

Langle as The Pigeon

Kamren the Person as The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap

Narrator voiced by Theme Park Avenue

"No" Viewers voiced by MetastarVA RaccoonBroVA, AshleyMagica, & Langle

Written by Theme Park Avenue

Pigeon art by Hazelmoth

Beat prod. by Raias beats

Mixed by Serena

Cover art by LimJJ


► LYRICS:

Hello, viewer! I need you to do something for me while I run some errands. There’s a pigeon that wants to rap battle that bird, so I need you to tell him “no”. Whatever you do, DON’T LET THE PIGEON RAP BATTLE THE BIRD THAT CARRIES YOU OVER A DISPROPORTIONATELY SMALL GAP

Oh, hello viewer, you look great today


Pigeon Verse 1 

Say… can I rap battle that bird? (no!)
Pretty please? (no!)
Oh come on, don’t you wanna hear my sweet flow?

I just need 20 lines (no!)
I do it all the time! (no!)
Your mom would let me rhyme (no!)
I’ll offer you a bribe (no!)

Wait, the rule is “no rap battling” but technically
It’s not a battle if I don’t address the bird directly

So I’ll just change the pronouns and continue with my verse! (no!)
What’s the big deal? It’s just a bird!

And a quiet one at that, while I’m always down to squawk squawk
It can’t compete with me, I’m from the streets, like this hot dog

And few things make me sleepy, but when I heard this swan’s song
I just couldn’t resist a disproportionately long yaaaaaawn

My stories are the best
They clearly tower over Undertale, right viewers? (no!)

I love many kinds of transit, but your flight’s not very fun
My books raised a million children, you can hardly carry one


Bird Verse 1 (0:59)

I’m committed to assisting those who brave the gap
I have enough determination to SAVE this track

I’m from the Underground, but I’ve never seen such shady business
You reach your aims by molding children’s brains like they’re clay pigeons

You always ask for more and never learn your lesson
You’re not a carrier pigeon ‘cause you send the wrong message

And then you get aggressive when your begging is rejected
You’re built like the Reaper Bird and yet you’re never level-headed


Pigeon Verse 2 (1:19)

Now if this were a rap battle, here’s how I’d respond
“I’m no villain, ask Mo Willems. I’m his top dog

Your dog just annoys the players while I make my readers merrier
I’m never in the wrong, ‘cause I’m the main character

You’re almost unknown, but you remind me of the Duckling
Both of you unfairly always get the stuff you’re wanting

I don’t get squat, and I try whining, gaslighting, and grumbling 
Folks let you carry them after you do what? NOTHING!

But guess what? You’re just used as a tool to reach the other side
They take the ride and leave you behind, except for Undyne

She carried you, slowing your fall from grace like a parachute
But bad news, she perished, dude. Now no one’s left to cherish you!”


Bird Verse 2 (1:49)

THAT’S IT! You’ve pushed me over the edge
You need to show some respect, and don’t forget that though you brag about your story’s success 

Mo Willems left you in a jiffy
You’re irrelevant and pitied next to Elephant and Piggie

You’re a joke, but in all honesty I’m glad you’re at the Waterfall
Because you need a bath! Aren’t doves known for body wash?

(Sheesh!) You could have grown and learned to clean up your act
But you’re the same in every story like you RESET your path

So here’s one final ride, but you’re not crossing safely
Don’t beg me for mercy, I know you don’t say pleas

You can’t drive the bus, but you sure drove me mad with your mischief
So I’ll drop you off with all the other passenger pigeons


The Pigeon vs The Bird That Carries You Over a Disproportionately Small Gap. PowerPoint Rap Battles

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.