WATCH THE FULL VIDEO: https://youtu.be/aaE2Isa1rPQ

Brodecai as Slenderman (Audio)
Dudz as Slenderman (Video)
Vladimyr P. as Jeff The Killer (audio) 
Dudz as Jeff The Killer (Video)
YDGeon as Announcer

Slenderman: 

Confusion is what humans may feel with my presence
but nothing compares to your whole storie’s coherence
The photos will show that a threat’s what i pose 
I brought fear to the mist, your whole thing’s getting smoked!
not close as a foe, either way, i’m approaching
No traces, thats why i’m acting silenced
When least expected, they’ll be infected 
feeling burnt out to end up missing like your eyelids
My legend’s what settled this whole sensation 
Spreading shock and fright to entire nations 
Looks like ripped off Joker can’t be taken so serious
The only cracks you got just made you go delirious
Rejected by the Wiki, and your fans grew tired
How you’re gonna fire back when your status backfired?
Dare to enter my domain, there's no way you can survive
 but judging by your face, you’re always due to ‘’crossing lines’’
   
Jeff the killer:

Jeff the killer, death is quicker 
So you better run while you still can
Arrive at night, sharp as my knife 
That's why i’m gonna slice up Slenderman!
Enter your domain? as if it was your reign
But you forgot something: I GOT WOODS ON MY NAME!
My lines are packing heat, cuz i’m giving burns like bleach
Feeling stressed? should be! you’re next on my murder spree 
Tried to hit the big screen, and your film was a debacle
That budget couldn’t prevent you of being Something Awful
cuz a game brought your fame, then decayed years later
As always, you’re a lame excuse to seeking paper
For the genre, it is true that you've paved the way 
But thanks to rap battles, you went from slaying to slave
So don’t faze my rage if you still think i'm that weaker
I beat all bullies by myself, you got outclassed by a math teacher!

Slenderman: 

Slit your mouth yet those words have failed to cut deep
Causing snores is the only way you’ll make go to sleep
The damage i create can’t be healed from any mind  
You pass the same effect when seen on Gacha Life
the impact i left goes beyond some numbers
All proxies by my side, you’re only loved by Tumblr
I guess your bad rap/rep is just too hard to cover 
Struggling behind bars? should’ve learned with your brother

Jeff the Killer:

Did you teleport your rhymes? Cuz they felt so out of place
 Should’ve expected that when you lack a mouth on your face
Calling out my targets, as if yours aren’t offensive 
You’re easy to defeat; take a seat with Chris Hansen
See the bigger picture: no one’s scared of your horror
So do what you do best and just stay in the corner
Put some meaning on your writing, so its not bland as usual
Suit and tie fit just right, since this became your own funeral *laughs*

Eyeless Jack:
Its Eyeless Jack here! 
Messing with me is quite risky
Once i murder on this beat, i'll go and eat  
your ki- 
*gets shot and falls on the floor*   

Dudz:
Dude, who the heck let this guy in? The battles finished!
*sigh* Fricking royales…


Written By Dudz
Addit. Writing Help by Vladimyr P., Bacon Pancake & Brodecai
Researching Help By Danii
Beat prod. by HEKS
Mixed and Mastered by Captain Jorge
Thumbnail and cover art by Cidisswo


EYELESS JACK CREDITS

Dudz as Eyeless Jack 
Other Eddie as himself

Written by Dudz
Beat prod. by 2Deep
Mixed by Cidisswo


Special thanks to JotaSeis, Cidisswo, Vladimyr P., Captain Jorge, My Parents, Matthew Thomas, ERBParodies and you

JEFF THE KILLER VS SLENDERMAN- AMATEUR RAP BATTLES

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles!

Dumbshlop as Oogie Boogie

ThanosQuack as Huggy Wuggy

Cover Art by TomPuffs

Art by Tompuffs

Mixed by Box

Written by King Ducky

Prod. Diamondstyle

Oogie Boogie:
Lookie rookie it’s the Oogie Boogie man!
Could he? Would he? Oh he would, he could, he can!
Run in through vents, escape fast!
Or I’ll put this to bed like a tranq dart 

Too bad you’re smothering sized you up to be 
A bumbling kaiju but to me 
We’re nothing alike, through stuff and seams
A crumbling child too dumb to speak
Lays stunted and cries to some degree.. but
Who who who
Who has more bugs stuck inside? You on release!

Huggy Wuggy:
Hi bud! Seems you’re a thicker buddy to fiddle with
I could see you in the bigger bodies initiative!  
That burlap sack is in a tight squeeze!
You're mad at the fans behind me when your armies a clique of kids?

I’m taking shape
Running through and making way
Something you can’t say the same 
Gainst me? Leader of the kkkfc!?

Yuh huh

Your spin-offs can stay a forgotten stain on Burton's name; squashed like his holiday was! 

Oogie Boogie:
He wanders alone at night
Through the halls where the gross have thrived
I spy the belly of utter mob homicide
Five Nights at Freddy’s conjured up clones alike
The martyr of YouTube kids
Hahaha.. your product line honours the prototype! 

Instead of soul or respect with them 
His devs would show their offensiveness 
Bad creations like FNAF animations
With fetish odor immense in em!
That check-ya-shoulder defense gimmick 
Or Ekrcoaster as theft-ridden 
Your devs couldn’t think outside the box if they get hit over the head with it!

Huggy Wuggy:
But once Jack first fought this bug satchel
One tug and your plot thread unraveled!
Undone as for what threat ya had well 
Stomped gone, had your bug head on gravel

Still evade light? Well explains why the pillowcase might get slept onto
Time to shine and you sprint away right before you die scorched and get the boot?
Pissed off Santa cant fix a trap to get rid of Jack cause
Boogie was blown out of proportion and fell off in a pit of lava

Huggy Wuggy vs. Oogie Boogie - Horror Rap Battles! [ft. Dumbshlop & ThanosQuack]

Full video coming later this year (Hopefully September).

Kurobane Azia as Cirno
Snakebite126 as Papyrus
Writing by AshleyMagica
Beat by Diamond Style
Mixing by Jort
Temporary cover art by TheToppo

Cirno:
Cower before my might, ‘cause I am the brightest!
Like a yokai-shaped lamp - I could fool you without hiding
I’m magical, adaptable, you know I’m a natural
Try and capture the ice fairy? You’d only catch a cold

Now students, here’s a math problem:
Five royal guards face off with me - the strongest 
Subtract all the ones that got slaughtered
‘Cause Papyrus was their only option
Aren’t you supposed to get buried when it’s dogs and bones, kid?
Anyway, who’s left to defend from the one whose heart’s so frozen?
The answer is zero! There are no royal guards in Snowdin!

And you haven’t gone yet, but I predict that your lines are written in Papyrus script 
You should try a different font, ‘cause to me, that’s like Egyptian hieroglyphs
I got more fans, ‘cause I’m cooler! They wrote you hate mail, now I’m sending it
Let me spell it out for you: those are the only letters you’ll ever get

Papyrus:
THIS IS GENSOKYO’S STRONGEST? MY, YOU SURE FELL FAR
YOU’RE SO ILLITERATE, YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN SPELL CARDS
AND WHEN THIS JUNIOR’S JUMBLED, YOU SOB LIKE, “WAHHH! IT AIN’T FAIR!”
THEY NAMED A DAY AFTER YOU? THEY SHOULD’VE NAMED A DAYCARE

YOU’RE A PAWN FOR ZUN’S GREED! YOU DARE CALL ME THE MONSTER?!
HE MILKS YOUR NAME SO MUCH, YOU SOLD OUT TO DAIRY SPONSORS
CHIRUMIRU HAS NO SAUCE, SO I’LL GO BACK TO MY PASTA
AND FURTHERMORE… SKELETONS CAN’T CATCH COLDS, YOU BAKA!

Cirno:
HEY, BACK OFF! I’m not six nor am I sixteen! I’m sixty!
I’m not your type, you sick creep! I know with children, you like getting Frisky
And despite living in snow, you reek of flop sweat
Carry my fairy status with pride, while you’re a skeleton in the closet 

Maybe try Chirumiru - it strengthens your gains
It’s good for your bones, and it’s the best thing you ever did taste
Besides that kid’s blade that got you sent to your grave
You’ll never change that human’s genocidal ways by giving them a friendly embrace
Couldn’t keep your head in the game
So you got reduced to a head in your game

Papyrus:
WHY, YES! YOU’RE AN EXPERT WHEN IT COMES TO GENOCIDAL TOLLS
THE POINT I’M MAKING IS: YOU SHATTER POOR ANIMALS INTO ICICLES
AS A ROYAL GUARD, IT’S MY DUTY TO WARN THE FROGGITS!
PAINT ME AS THE VILLAIN? I BET YOU’RE JEALOUS OF THEM ‘CAUSE YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT LEAP IN LOGIC

I SEE YOUR VILLAGE HAS COME TO REPORT A PROBLEM
THEY SAY YOU’VE ACCRUED A FORM MORE MONSTROUS…
WAIT! DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT CLAIM BECAUSE THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRAWN WITH DARK SKIN?!
THAT’S YOUR CUE TO LEAVE, 9-BALL - YOU’RE OUT OF POCKET

DID YOU SEEK ME JUST BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT POTENTIAL RECRUITS OUT?
YOU THINK 9 COMES AFTER 2 - I HARDLY THINK YOU’D COUNT
JUST A LAUGHINGSTOCK WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF KEINE’S SCHOOLHOUSE
THAT’S GENSOKYO’S SPECIAL ATTACK! YOU ARE BLUE NOW!

Cirno vs Papyrus - AM Rap Battles

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

Stofferex as Nostalgia Critic
??? as Anthony Fantano / Cal Chuchesta

Nooby as Tyler, the Creator
Pixel Chris as Eminem
Danii as Drake

Beat Produced by: 2Deep
Written by: Danii
Mixed and Mastered by: Danii

Lyrics:

Nostalgia:
Hello
I’m the Nostalgia Critic, I touch myself so you don’t have to
If you’re the world’s greatest critic, I might just have to slap you
Known for shitty takes that make me wanna cut your access
Your fans lost approval so you get it from your black ex
You’d rather suck off Death Grips longer ‘fore you battle me at all
‘Cause I could also get big from screaming and throwing glass at walls

Get get get get
Got got got got
Blood rush to my
Head lit hot lock
Poppin' off the
Fuckin' block knot
Clockin' wrist slit
Watch bent thought bot
AHHHHHHHH!!!!

No wonder you’re Melonhead! No one eats your seed
Arguing with kids ‘bout politics sounds pretty uncool to me
Anthony, you’re not foolin’ me! Climbing up to me is one more boulder
‘Cause your career already died when you put away VULTURES

Anthony:
Hi everyone, nostalgthany critictano, the busiest music nerd
I just had to listen to Doug spew a verse
It’s pretty clear that with his lack of humor comes with a lack of bars too
I’d be glad to front, let’s argue
Doug has this thing where he makes false accusations in references
For..humor? Superiority? I’m not getting this
With lines like “your takes want me to cut off your access
Your fans lost approval so you get it from your black ex”
He bit off more than he can chew, I guess, I just think he’s lame
He’s rocking teeth that look like my flannels, while I’ve the best teeth in the game
If you make CinemaSins 40 minutes and unfunny
Then you’re basically getting slightly a better experience than his-

Nostalgia:
Is he gonna refer to me like I’m not even fucking here the whole time?

Alright, nerd, I think I see the issues
‘Cause I don’t know what made you cry harder; Mac Miller or your sound being used?
I’m not who you argue with on stream, but your points, I won’t listen
Fuck you, rap battle, I wish I could be big in music if I study..
Journalism? This man’s a fucking fake
He should make like when he does grow hair and run away
You’re a fearmongering, topster-glazing, nazi loving asshole!
And now I’ll bring my friends in so they run the fade

Tyler, the Creator:
Your disses are trash, regardless of listens

Nostalgia:
Well, I meant my friends back at-

*Tyler gets shot*

Eminem:
Tell me how you’re gonna give us bad ratings when you gave all the shitty albums a 10 and I can’t stand you Anthony

Nostalgia:
Alright, this is-

*Eminem gets shot*

Drake:
Anthony, your disses are a light zero…..

Nostalgia:
What, the pedophile doesn’t shot?-

*Drake gets shot*

Nostalgia:
Who the fuck has my gun?

Cal:
Yeah!

Anthony:
Hey, put that back

Cal:
No!

Anthony:
Uh, okay
It appears even after Wall, you have nothing to say
With the same flows, same jokes, same lines that suck chodes
And never been on fire since “I was frozen today!”
The inconsistency in this one is abysmal
Since his verses was so cancer, he got main character syndrome
Maybe he should’ve retired back in 2012 for better
And I’m giving this a light to strong 3 on this record, tran
sition


{SCRAPPED DEMO} Nostalgia Critic vs. Anthony Fantano

ENNWAY as Quote
Lexi M. As Ted the Caver
Written by JK03 and Tess
Additional Writing by ENNWAY
Beat produced by ENNWAY
Mixed by ENNWAY
Cover Art by BELSXN

Quote (0:21):
When I woke up, my way out was to brave this death site
But they’d have to pay me to navigate that website
You’re not fit for this, the pressure’s intense
No red flowers in sight, and yet you’re still looking pressed

You spent a whole (hole) 3 months of your blog not exploring
Drilling with your story, you kill me, it’s so boring
Droning on hopelessly, repeating descriptions
Of a single opening, next thing you know you’ll be riddled with them

You dragged your friends in your mess and failed to conquer it
Jenka's taking better care than your pack of goners did
It doesn’t take amnesia to forget the spread you wrote
I’ll stun you into silence 'fore you get to end Quote

Ted the Caver (0:54):
It’s time to log a new entry for another find
Turns out there is something hiding on the other side
An abandoned fighter tasked to find the mad device to rescue lives
And that is why he answers his companion crashing down by prancing by?

I ride at night, exploring shafts for that adrenaline high
Shed light on more than just the panties catching eyes from this guy.
All those swords don’t mean that you’re the cut-out man for the job
When you’re paper-thin, but fail at throwing hands with some rocks

Quote (1:16):
You're worth about as much as the cameras you dispose
You treat your rapping like the caves that you search - If it blows, it goes
I come strapped, .45 on my hip
You got 45 pages biting Blair Witch

You can’t land a hit. Your shots tend to miss me.
Your movie unilaterally bombed, Ted Cave-zynski
So, you got reckless? The cave left you breathless?
Here’s how big a fuck I give. Stick your glove up there for reference.

Ted the Caver (1:38):
You’re shackled to Nicalis, but let’s see your boys sue
When you get your ass reduced to scrapped assets in Floyd’s Tomb
Amaya's vision was lobotomized by corporate choices
Now I'll drill this in your mind, so we're both hearing voices

Your crude graphics and designs can’t be haunting my mind!
I’ve seen scrabbles on walls on my rides better drawn than your sprites!
We’re pretty different! I’m committed to my mission
While you’d ditch your shit and dip the first occasion that you’re given!

Stranded in the island’s depths, this bot’s a lost cause
I have to find the end to the tale of this cave at all costs!
Try to cross me, you won’t stop my path to see this case cracked
I won’t need constant ports for me to make my way ba…

(Ted runs off into the darkness of the cave, never to be seen again)

Cave Story vs Ted the Caver - 100 Hour Rap Battle Challenge

DillyDally as Gerson
ThanosQuack as Old Man McGucket
Writing by AshleyMagica
Additional writing by WAN, DillyDally, & ThanosQuack
Art by WAN
Beat, mixing, & graphic design by DillyDally

Gerson:
Welcome to my shop! Please don’t throw a cryin’ fit
Sellin’ yourself as a tragic hero? I ain’t buyin’ it
You must be strapped for cash, judgin’ by your redneck campground
Guess all that fishin’ for gold didn’t pan out

Annoyed the damn town with your nonsense and rumors
Now *you’re* a local legend, they call you the Gobbledegooker
I’d say it’s all in one of my books, but you’d never read one
If I said you’ll eat your words, you’d *literally* eat ‘em

Spouse left you - how’s it going with that new life?
She took the ring, so you had to get a raccoon wife
And you’re treated as a joke by the last of your bloodline
Are you from underground? ‘Cause you’ll never see your son rise

McGucket:

I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT AGAIN!
With its long gee-rafe neck and its green wrinkly skin
It’s the Gersonwonker! The beast what lives with the Darkners
And is dim as a bulb, but still thinkin’ he’s smarter

But you’re too slow! If your son’s a sign, you always miss the boat
Scuttle off, and don’t you butt in on the hillbilly GOAT
You think your advanced age will stop me? I’ve dined before
I’ll get you out ya shell WHEN I EAT UP ANOTHER DINOSAUR!

Don’t string me along! I flim-flam the banjo!
Thought I wouldn’t clap back? I’m goin’ hambone
Pah! Don’t you act like some literary master
You can’t even shimmy shammy to the end of your chapter!

Gerson:

Yeesh, you sound like you’re dyin’! Are you kickin’ the bucket? 
Drink your own tonic - you sound like a chicken, McGucket 
And your hillbilly grammar should land you in the slammer 
Ditch the moonshine and you’ll still get hammered! 

I challenge folks to snatch my hair and every one of them falls 
The march of time got ‘ya, and you went bald 
You’re just a scholar’s buddy that he ditched to explore 
The banjo player’s always playin’ second fiddle to Ford 

We can all rewrite the prophecy, but ‘cause of all the death you’d seen 
You went from building computers to clearing your own memory 
And now, ain’t a single thought that goes through that wiped mind 
Once again, your life will be wrecked by a Blind Eye

McGucket:

You’re weak as mule spittle, that I’m certain of
You’re less Gerson Boom and more Gerson Bust
Used to be a war hero, now you’re tryna sell stock
Guess even the best of veterans get shell-shocked

All your priest son ever needed was your blessin’
But you turned to a holy ghost ‘fore makin’ your confession
Susie had to take credit for your letters like a spelling bee
The one thing that never passed on was your legacy

I bet your heart is all heavy without the chestplate
Your big statue’s more threatening, you’re just dead weight
If you think you’ll pass down your skills, don’t get your hopes up
‘Cause now your hammer is gatherin’ your own dust

CRANKY KONG MOTHERFUCKER:
I’ve had enough of watching hillbillies decay
Now pay respects to the original DK
That’s right, it’s me, Cranky Kong, from Donkey Kong Bananza
I’ll show both of your wives a real OHHH, BANANAAAA

AshleyMagica as Cranky Kong


Gerson vs Old Man McGucket - Disney Rap Battles!

Eric the Audible as Waldo
Gridline Rap Battles as Agent 47
Beat produced by MIDES
Written by Trakked and Worms
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Rytchiee and SkydivingQuagga
Thumbnail by Worms

Battle:

Waldo: (0:10)
Hey, I'm glad you found me, but now you're ‘bout to regret it
I’m bout to set a new record, wrap your mission up in seconds
So get ready for a lesson, I ain’t favoring crooks
But if you wanna learn to hide, then take a page from my book
Wearin’ them red and white stripes cuz I'm the flyest dude
I got this on and I don’t even need a tie and suit
That dome is shining, they can see through your disguises, too
IOI needs to head back into the writer’s room (yuh)
You’re tryna get your Wood to Burn
But your handler’s abandoned you at every single turn
Yeah, me and Diana, man, we're sharing a bed
Cuz the amount of game you got is like the hairs on your head
(Oh) Five fathers, but no love, you’re from a test tube
Man, you were built for everybody to forget you
I might go back in hiding when it's time for your rapping
So make like your title and stay Silent, Assassin
 
Agent 47: (0:57)
Don't be alarmed. I'm here to finish business.
I'd appreciate it if you would quit your resistance. 
Sit and listen; I’ve got lines for this eyesore,
With rhymes so divine that you’ll find they’re to die for.
So why don't I pour you a drink?
Your confusion’s understood; this happens more than you think.
Let’s have a toast. Let the moment be adorned with a clink
You'll fall down on the ground. It happens more than you think.
It’s circumstantial how I dress, you keep your outfit on forever.
Needless to say, your clothes don’t depend on the weather.
I wouldn’t be against painting more red on your sweater,
And you will never forget that I’m wearing both your colors better.

Waldo: (1:22)
Don't dog my fit; I'll take your job real quick with my famed garb
I don’t need a costume to stay under the radar
You think your sins are forgiven because you pray hard?
Your next mission should be living behind jail bars
Put down the fiber wire, we both know that you choked
So put on that clown costume ‘cuz all I see is a joke (damn!)
It seems Tobias couldn't Riep what he sowed
Hold your ducky tight and make like Grey’s head and explode

Agent 47: (1:43)
Your files are the only book with your name that I've opened. 
Your brother hates you and you don’t know how to cope with it.
You're hopeless and moping and your relationships are broken
But I'll be sure to give your girlfriends my condolences.
We both travel the globe, but I make a visible difference. 
If you visited my home you would be dealt with in minutes.
There wouldn't be a single witness since my target’s alone with me.
I have yet to break my cover since this nobody’s noticed me.
I toppled Providence and it appeared to be happenstance
I'll be bashing your glasses and make it look like an accident
So be glad that this happened; send your goodbyes in a letter
Because I just found a way to make you disappear forever.


Waldo vs Agent 47 - Rap Cypher #47

Leo Barqui as Grand Dad
Trakked as MARIO ROM
TTS as Message Box
Beat produced by Diamond Style
Written by Trakked, Syphonstick, AshleyMagica and M&Mattie
Mixed by Jordy
Art by Dboy
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

Grand Dad:
You better listen cuz Grand Dad is bout to spit it
I smash these fads and hacks so bad I get their shit delisted
We both know that you ain’t ready, so dull, but tryna be edgy
I’ll gobble a creepypasta, hope she made lotsa spaghetti! (OHH!)
Want me to find you? How ‘bout I Yabba Dabba Don’t?
Imma barge into your castle, grab this asshole by the throat
You’re a menace to the kingdom, I can see why they can’t stand ya
I’ll stomp him like a Goomba and I’m feeling so Grand, uh
Nobody gave a single shit about that crappypasta game
Cryptic text and awful frames, you damn ROM hacks are all the same
Got high-quality raps for days, bitch, I keep the heads boppin’
They call me a Flintstone cuz me and Peach keep the bed rockin’

Message Box:
Ever since you entered this battle you signed your fate.
You hit the box Fortran, now there’s no more sign to fly away
There’s no way out of here. You’re stuck in my place now.
You're taking the selfish way out.

MARIO:
This is my world that you're stepping in
I'm glad you had your fun in all your ten seconds of relevance
Designers so lazy that they ripped off a TV show’s game
I guess they did bring gaming back into the stone age!
I’ll splatter you across your shitty barren levels 
And then I’ll turn a played-out Vinesauce meme into some marinara 
You disgust me. You can’t win this scenario.
Who tore apart this bootleg? It’s-a me, MARIO!

Grand Dad:
Don’t you think you’ve caused enough trouble, you sleazy bastard?
You just speedran your defeat, now I’mma beat you even faster
My bootleg’s better made than you, your shtick is corrupt
The only point of advice I’d give is to shut the hell up!
You yap on and on about your crimes but I don’t give a shit
You’ve been falling off since autoscroll pushed you over the edge of the cliff
Failed like your ARG, and it wasn’t surprising, too
Players made like your victim cuz none of em had eyes on you

MARIO:
You’re ancient history, you can’t accept your time is through
You were King for a Day but now everybody despises you
So not a single person will care when I bash your head
There’s nothing you can do to change my mind about what happens next.

Message Box:
Victim #2. Another bloodied, mangled corpse.
Hand marks found across the body without a traceable source.
Skull fragments found around the ground with a club lying next to him.
No one’s left to love him. No friends or even next of kin.


7 GRAND DAD vs MARIO ROM - Rap Cypher #48

Cole as The Batter
Swizkii as Brad Armstrong
Beat produced by Theskybeats
Written by Trakked, Cole and Buckethead
Additional help from Buckethead
Mixed by Jordy
Art by CyanCoat
Thumbnail by TomPuffs

Battle:

The Batter (0:30):
My introduction needs no more clarification.
This track is in need of immediate purification.
You’re akin to the spectres I’ve vanquished, so learn your place and
Succumb to my holy fire and die in your isolation
Your soul has been corrupted, I've been sent to purify ya
So keep your freaks away, ‘cause I prefer to work in silence 
You cannot let go of your trauma, so here’s your reminder
Lisa is buried and serves her purpose as fertilizer.
Taste my holy wrath, and soon you shall be burning. 
You were right when you wanted a wife but said you don't deserve it.
The women went out in a flash, the same with your dreams of third base.
Can’t escape from your purpose when you don’t have one in the first place.
I change the world for the better, you’ve no excuse
I break the chains of vacants, you can’t break the cycle of abuse
When taking the blame for your friends, Columbo beat you to no end
‘Cause you went and dropped the ball and your baby atop her head.
Raised your daughter with your friends, then it ended up bloody
I'm hitting home runs, you couldn't make a home for Buddy
I shall be your instructor with something you should be taught at last:
The bottom of the bottle will not bring your daughter back.

Brad Armstrong (1:30):
You can't understand the pain that I’ve felt.
Your family dies, the only one to blame is yourself
I didn't want to see other people go through abuse
So I taught children to protect themselves against the men like you.
My mission's to protect Buddy at any cost,
Your mission's to kill your son ‘cause your love for him is lost.
Now you have nothing left to give.
You've been dead since the beginning; this is the day that I live.
Through your actions, the good in your life was thrown away. 
You don't take care of your baby, you don't know his name. 
I sheltered Buddy, yes, but at least she and I were safe
Because of you, Hugo never saw the light of day.
Created to be a father, but you ended up as worthless
You showed it in your verse, dragging on as long as Nern does
Your threats are empty, like the zones you're leaving stuck behind.
So come at me, you bitch, I'd like to see you fucking try.

The Batter (2:18):
Pop some Joy, you worthless junkie, maybe find the balls to fight me 
Or you could keep on whining and make like The Judge and bite me
This balding man is nothing; the guardians were no match for me
You’d only be sweet when turned to sugar in the factory
You have a tough shell, but on the inside you're pathetic. 
All you wanted was a hug from Buddy, but you couldn't get it. 
She hates you, Brad. That is why she purged your life. 
I'll turn this battle OFF. Adversary purified.

Brad Armstrong (2:42):
You took everything for granted, you emotionless freak
Never questioning your actions only shows that you're weak 
You needed Add-Ons to beat the ghosts and erase 'em
While I don't need a bat or even arms to bash your face in
They see you as a monster as you walk throughout the zones.
No matter what you try to do, you'll always be alone.
Destroyed your life in every step. Heh, welcome to the party, bud.
You managed to be an even worse father than Marty was.


The Batter vs Brad Armstrong - Rap Cypher #55

Teimunity as Bed Wars
ClarencetheDuck as Doomspire Brickbattle
Beat by Teimunity
Mixed by Jordy 
Art and Graphic Design by carsfrankie

Bed Wars • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

Queued in, now I’m locked in the game
Spotted opposition on the side, but wait
Gotta gather iron, cover up the bed to be safe 
Grab some block, now I’m closing the space to your base!

Uhhh…gotta say, this wasn’t expected
They built a whole tower with some flimsy extensions 
No problem for me, cus all I needs to do is buy an axe
And one swing to your tower and those inside of it are falling flat!

You ain’t messing with my bed, blockhead
If you take one step on my isle, then your dead
That tiny little wall’s nothing to a fireball
My turrets gon’ make you fall, then you're knocked off the ledge!

We built an empire! You’re stuck in a runt!
Cus how are we on the Hive, yet you got more bugs?
Ain’t talking player barriers, but you’ll be swept off your feet too 
You come for the brick battle, your spire will meet doom!

Doomspire Brickbattle • Verse 1 (16 Bars)

TEN HUT! (SIR!) OUR OPPS ARE SPEAKING NONSENSE!
WE MAKE ANYTHING OUR BUSINESS AND STAND ON IT!
THEY WANNA TALK WITH THEIR DERIVING CONTENT?
THEY'RE WHOLE REVOLVES AROUND ONE BED!

BUT YOU’LL NEVER BREAK OUR TOWER DOWN! (YES SIR!)
YOUR PLAYER BASE ARE JUST A COUPLE OF CLOWNS! (YES SIR!)
BECAUSE WETHER IRL OR IN GAME (YES SIR!)
YOU’VE BEEN GETTING CARRIED BY THE BLADE! (YES SIR!)

YOU MUST’VE HAD SPAWN PROTECTION
THIS AIN’T A PILLOW FIGHT, I WILL NOT BE BESTED
WAKE UP, GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME FOR A SECOND
I KNOW YOUR BED WARS, BUT THIS IS NO TIME FOR RESTING!

OUR DAILY TROOPERS ARE ALWAYS ON THE FRONTLINES
YOUR MATES STAY AT THE BASE AND GET SWATTED LIKE HOUSE FLIES
AND WITH A BUILD LIMIT THAT PITIFUL, I COULDNT BELIEVE
SO PUSH OUR BASE IF YOU DARE…AND IF YOU COULD REACH

Bed Wars • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

Daily players? Well, you lost that, bitch 
They pushed away from your game like a knockback fish
Fireballs shaking up your base like a comet
Don’t you remember what happened with towers and flying objects?

I looted up while you having your Soviet speech
And now I have the armoury to go show up your team
What now? Your hanging on by one slice of a piece
It’s obvious that I would be the one to put you asleep 

Doomspire Brickbattle • Verse 2 (8 Bars)

(HAHAHA…) YOU THINK YOU WON AGAINST ME?
ANY MEANS OF ME CONCEEDING ARE FAR IN YOUR DREAMS!
I UP THE GAME IN MY FAVOUR LIKE PAY TO WIN TYCOONS
SO MY TOWER WON’T FALL…UNTIL I DO!

YOU THINK I NEED A PICKAXE TO BREAK THROUGH YOUR DEFENSES? 
YOU BUILT WOOL AROUND A BED? REAP THE CONSEQUENCES!
AND ONE BOMB WILL HAVE US BOTH FALL FLAT
…BUT ONLY ONE OF US HERE HAS A RESPAWN PAD!

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