Rap battle series created by Commander Jacob which use chracters and match-ups he's personally interested in (aka a lotta geek shit)

Lame-Ass Rap Battles

this

Songs I Listen too

Rap Battles to Shuffle Through

JOIN MY DISCORD:
https://discord.gg/Wk55ZGzHMw​

J Morris the Review Guy and Light as Freddy Krueger
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZ...​
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv40...​

Freshy Kanal as Pennywise

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, Fel and HippieRat

Drawings by:
CyanCoat

Beat Produced by:
Freshy Kanal & Sebb

Mixed by:
Freshy Kanal

Mastered by:
Sebb

Lyrics:

Freddy:
Laying you down to sleep, for 2 decades of your own hell
It looks like Wise is lacking luck, let’s throw a Penny in the well
It’s prime time for a rap battle, bitch, 
dip you into shame down to the bottom of your silk suit.
Yea, Sticks and stones can break my bones, 
But words? We both know they kill you.
So drop this beat on your breath when I beat you to death
The makeup on your head will match up with your bed
Cuz my dreams are a threat, while the screams that you get
Make this spider a joke, it's a meme on the web
You ain’t hot shit like Curry, now you're a swedish-
all you can eat dish, bon appetit, bitch!
You’ll end up like your first monstrosity
Now the fucker’s chairbound, can’t stand up like your comedy

Pennywise:
And here comes...Freddy’s.. New..
Nightmare, biggest fear from Bill to Bevvy
Your only scare is the bill for new bedsheets
Stuck in the 80’s, reboot fucked up 
You’re officially the leader of the boomer’s club
I'll just wait for this fetus to get injured
They should replace you with the baby from "Freddy got fingered"
But the Nightmares won't be coming back soon
You're out of your airtime. Do you want a balloon?
You kept up in ruining children til Jason mutilated your character
Now the question is who would win here? 
The Alien or the Sexual Predator?
Swiss cheese lookin motherfucker walkin on my streets
I’ve always been the king of Derry, you’re the Dairy Queen
Cuz I never was a killer to hop on your boat, dude
So you better get high, I make standards float too!
You're dated, so listen up 
you aged and you couldn’t stop
Your face replicates your plot 
a game of connect the dots!
Your rating is severed, flopped; 
they made like your head and dropped
The same as popcorn I brought, 
you raised, blew up and p-p-popped

Children: 
1,2, Freddy’s coming for you
3,4, better lock- 

Freddy:
My count rounds out to a thousand, you're grouchy 
Left people howling more about your idiot townies
You’re not even allowed the best clown flick
in the same fucking year your lousy sequel came out in
You're scared of Maturin', and so your M. O.'s eternal
You'd shit your sewers when you see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Bitch! Taking a nap and I got your soul on a hook
You're helping me slaughter people by making them read your book
So It looks a little stormy for your sewer orgy
You didn’t reign before me! 
I’m the GOAT, you’re horny!
I’ll stick to spreadin’ teens over bed sheets
While you’re left melting into a puddle, how’s that for a wet dream?

Pennywise:
You’re more of a downfall than Maine storms to my main form
Your last one turned out like I ate your writers in a brainstorm
Go sleeping on these flows
I'll have Freddy's battle weapons shredded to Eddie's medicine
So he dreams of gazebos!
Tongue twist a buttkiss like your final girl did.
It’s a multiplayer game when you’re in my world, bitch!
I’d say go cry to your daddy, ‘fore you eternally rest.
But your mailbox couldn't carry the paternity tests

Pennywise vs. Freddy Krueger - Rap Battle!

POKEMON VILLAIN RAP CYPHER Cam Steady ft. RUSTAGE, NateWantsToBattle, Zach B & More

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of bird games abandoned by their owners: Red from Angry Birds vs Mr. Crow from Catastrophe Crow. Enjoy!

@freshykanal as Red
Commander Jacob as Mr. Crow
@sw4nked as Chuck
@superthingsoncupsss as Bomb
@snakebite126 as the Jays

Written by Commander Jacob & GamingPlush64
Mixed & mastered by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Crow model by El Stephono

-LYRICS-

Red (0:09)
I thought the pigs’ plot was enough to make me pissed off
But now I gotta fling hot disses straight off the slingshot
We stay protecting kids way before they frickin' hatch
Fitting that this little brat came from a baby’s chicken scratch
You have, like, 20 vids, there’s no way you can catch up
I got raps up my sleeve, while your sleeve is just wrapped up 
Your cartridge and Daddy will stay old and grey
Loner strayed, flew the coup, and never stayed to raise his precious golden egg

Mr. Crow (0:28)
I see you, Red. I’d tear apart your cardinal sins
But we can bond over the crow language it’s clear your bars were in
Or maybe not, after your latest failures, I observed that
Your servers must have been cursed bad by the evil Sir Cat!
Those absurd raps are calling me to stay and work at
A verse that can take you down so we can’t see these birds flap
I stack hits like blocks, show you an L, and tower you
Lemme just lay this down if I gotta spell it out for you
While I respect protecting your nest from turning into a bed and breakfast 
Your tactics lack any sense of direction when flinging heads into wreckage 
You got rich from your title? 
Your only golden shower nowadays is piss from your idol!

Red (0:57)
Your word vomit couldn’t even keep my chicks fed
He won’t be home ever again after that shit’s wrecked
We get money like Hal; our green’s coming around
I’ll put you down - 6 crows feet under the ground
I stay squaded up. Yo, Jay, Bomb, and Chuck
Let’s show this winged black sheep why they can’t flock with us
Chuck (1:11)
Ugh, speedy time, you weakley swine! We can rhyme with an eagle’s might
But maybe translating your 800 languages can come out with a decent line
Bomb (1:16)
No teddy bear to cuddle with, you can’t get your dad back
You weren’t even worthy to get stuffed in a bear’s backpack
The Jays (1:21)
Get Butchered, no Adam. We’re sick when we’re splitted
Attacking and rapping, we’re killer in triplets
Red (1:26)
When I’m spitting off the bill, no way you can get through to me
I’m knocking over all your builds and breaking down your Unity
Cause me and my boys got the skill, destruction isn’t new to me 
So if you wanna talk to Nils, stop using your community
We’ll die a martyr just to stop the piggie’s punk shit
At least write to Marta before you run away and jump ship
Fuck demon cats, development’s you’re only hell now
The only flight you've taken is the staircase you fell down
Nothing your fans theorize will make Thea rise
So now Lorenz himself will eternally need to be revived


Crow (1:50)
You dumb shits, thrown at the wall to see what sticks
You lucky mother-cluckers should be glad ya landed one hit
Both Rovio and Opus didn’t know what they were asked for
I took it to the depths, you took it off the App Store
You wanna bring a squad in? Face a murder of crows
To checkmate your flock of pawns and submerge 'em with flows
I’ll pop your whole arsenal and I’ll leave with three gold stars
The last nail in my coffin? I’m breaking free with each crowbar
No one’s wanting (ugh) all your cash-ins (nah)
All they wanted was to make you zip through blocks
You were launching (eh), now you’re crashing (ouch!)
Made some bubble games, and that shit went pop
Not talking PCs when I clip your head through a window
Your money bag-headed developers ain’t enough to scare this crow
It’s no sweat ending these legless and armless balls
The least hard thing I’ve gone through is a concrete wall
Your player’s gone too, now that you’re off phones
2 birds, 1 throne. I’ve finally gone home

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Angry Birds vs Catastrophe Crow | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of color-swapped clone stalkers: Herobrine, spirit of the brother of the creator of Minecraft, versus the Mario Silhouette, castle wanderer found in personalized copies of Super Mario 64. Enjoy!

Mr. Tibbs as Herobrine
Commander Jacob as The Mario Silhouette 

Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Beat produced by InsaneBeatz
Feedback by GamingPlush64, Mr. Tibbs, bloody_queers, Zagranis, Fightmarker, etc.

-LYRICS-
Herobrine:
See me in the distance? Hope those star doors stay shut
I don't want Piranha Plant biting off me more when we wakes up
I got the godly flows to diminish distant cosmic clones
I’ll make it red when I slam your head against the cobblestone
White eyes with a wide bite but I ain’t no Chain Chomp
Mr. Sit and Watch can picture what to do when his frames drop
Bark at me, my sword will chop like cutting leaves from a tree
So don’t run up on me, I've got a whole overworld under me

MS:
I see yooou, and I’ve tracked your plans to spit bars hot
But walk in His Domain? I‘m swinging hands like Tick Tock Clock
Painful like stained glass windows. Funny: Brine’s in a pickle
Stunting with the all-black fit, though you just changed couple pixels
I’ll make you black out. This wound you can't patch out
I’m jumping this painting. No retexturing, he’ll just crash now
I’ve had it up to the fourth floor. You've been here too long
Your fans are like you: minors who can’t move on

Herobrine:
Shadow Mario’s shadow hardly flowed in a way worth considering morbid
I'm sending this bitch through a portrait and burying him in the Fortress
Or bringing some torches and burning your boring-ass lore before you start running
I'm making pyramids up and appear and they pass the polygonal palace you’re stuck in
If you're talking about design, why would I cut out the lights
Darkness surrounds you, right? So how could you count as bright
Fuck your cryptic text. Think I'm scared when you display that?
I'm the type to slash kill, but not in a game chat

MS:
Players see you, they know you're there, and even screenshot
I bust their cartridge and make their CRT screen shot
You muck with streams while I run their dreams
Bowser has to take a sub to me. YouTubers use you just to say “sub to me”
Trap you in the walls so it blocks the rhymes I can’t stand
Try stealing coins. I catch that? Start shifting out; sand land
Potions and teleporting ain’t enough to catch me, my friend
Encounter me and see a void meaning you’ll meet your End

Herobrine:
All this glitch can offer is one wiki that’s vacant
Your hip-hop’s softer than MIPS in the basement
This AI without the I cant reach my level, just try
Mock me one more time and I’ll default skin you alive
You’re running in circles. I can do this all day
Read the signs: please die quietly in the hallway

MS:
I wish your knock-off novels were your only words hurting my eyes
But I'll make sure this eulogy's Persson-alized
Mr. 2 bit isn't even cared about by their own kin
Someone must be shooting up… but there’s no Hero win
Mama-mia! You’re not worth comparing Luigi to
Obsessed with griefing others cuz your brother never greaves for you

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Herobrine vs The Mario Silhouette | Lame-Ass Rap Battles

subscribe to dilly ►https://youtube.com/c/DillyChannel    
support dilly on patreon ►
https://www.patreon.com/locorapbattles
music video out now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8KqfAiyBZg

casey william as opila bird
dilly as atari e.t.

written by dilly, casey william, 3ple
additional writing by m!cah
mixed by casey william
beat prod. by casey william
art by 3ple and anangrypenguin
cover art by shimario
series logo by timelord

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
https://www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Opila Bird vs. Atari E.T. - Rap Battle! (2023)

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO:
https://youtu.be/fW81264c2bk?si=gogLjj4ifda7fEYj

Snakebite126 as Denji
RecD as Wolverine

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Denji:
When Miss Makima said to kill Marvel’s hybrid rebel
I thought, “Ryan Reynolds!” not the Sideburns Devil
So like, this isn’t personal, it’s kinda just my job
Let’s do what your barber should’ve done and take it from the top

You know I’m rolling with the Safety Corp, I got the squad with me (ay)
And thanks to Pochita, always got that dog in me (ay)
I’d prefer to kick back, if you wanna start things 
I’ll pull out my ripcord and tear out your heartstrings

Act like your backstory is so serious
Howlett, a sad boy who was so feverish
Crafted a rad origin story
When he stabbed into dad’s organs before leaving him

Captured and tortured as war leaders had
Trapped your corpse kneeling to Cornelius
Too bad all that trauma’s up in your brain
The one place there’s no healing it

How do Hugh Jack off with that claw, Mr. sliced weiner?
Closest thing that you’ve had to a wife is a wife-beater
And that hottie Phoenix that you loved is already dead
Stupid fucker picked the only one that can’t resurrect 

Wolverine:
Listen, bub - I’m not engaging in fisticuffs
With some prissy punk only working so his dick gets sucked
I’m an X-Man - impenetrable, head to toe
You’re an ex-man - you’re selling your own testicles

Denji met his boss, instantly started drooling
Wanted her as a bride, she was more into grooming
She took advantage of your lust, then dumped you as Aki’s pup
Now the only one getting any bitches is Makima

Quit Fiending for your freedom, I’ve been to hell and I’ve seen it
And I’m deeming there’s no reason any demon’s worth redeeming
I stuck it to Magneto and then ripped out his mind
Now it’s your turn, Chainsaw Man, Welcome to DIE!

Denji:
Shut your fucking hole! Power let me cop a feel
If you think I get no bitches then you just like me for real
Nah, you’ve got so many kids, like your momma, you’re a cheat
You’ve got retractable bones, how’s your pullout game so weak?

Yeah I’m not too good with books, but your brain is so diseased
That you’ve got too many issues for anyone to read
Keep blaming your flaws on Weapon X like it caused them
But you will never hide from the skeleton in your claw set

Wolverine:
Kid, you lived in a dumpster, no wonder chicks never loved ya
And your first kiss was so disgusted, she was sick to her stomach
But then you didn’t save her later, so the consequence for Aki 
Cost an arm and a leg and an arm and a leg and a body

So don’t go pretending you paid off your debt
Forget being wealthy, you ate all your bread
You gave up your dog for a blade on your head
But you can’t cut or make out a check

Adamantium, add a man to it
Wolverine leading lambs to the slaughter
Repping X-Men and Weapon X
I’mma make you pay like your pansy-ass father

You’re slaving all day for a chance to be free
And wasting away as an amputee
No loved ones, no friends and nothing you can eat
At least Leatherface had a family

Thanks to your cowardice, her plan went without a hitch
When you finally got Makima to BANG! - you were Power-less

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Written & Directed by Eddiefrb
Mixed & Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Beat Arranged by Freshy Kana;
Beat prod. by Diamond Style
Art by CyanCoat
Coverart Design by Eddiefrb

Denji vs Wolverine - Rap Battle! (ANIMATION VS ANYTHING: CH. II)

kinger the amazing digital circus vs sarah needlemouse exe rap battle anolog vs anything.

Kinger vs. Needlemouse // Analog vs. Anything.

Cri as Kinger

Hailey as Needlemouse (Sarah)

Cameos by Clarence and Hailey

Written and Produced by Teimunity 

Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Art by A Trash Artist and EpicMonkey

Graphic Design by JustADude
 
LYRICS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16UQrnK9FOf0a4FMEuSOGaNoLlGwlLoP7al3U2Nt7LQM/edit

(OLD) The Amazing Digital Circus vs. Needlem0use • Analog vs. Anything.

Jonna-Lynn Alonso as Nemona
yukigloom as Goku

Written by SIR Rap Battles & Jofinity
Additional writing help by Shimario
Mixed by SIR Rap Battles
Beat by Diamond Style 
Cover art by LimJJ (Original cover by M!CAH)
Cover art stills by Cole
Special thanks to RaccoonBroVA, Eric the Audible, Ryoma Ishizuka, bblackroses, Satoshi Tajiri & Akira Toriyama

Nemona: (0:24)
All the fans in the region, you hear them cheer for the champ
When your planet’s in need, you disappear in a flash
I’ve got a masterful team prepared to clear any match
While your laughable team just shrieks in fear from attacks 
So - he got adopted by Grandpa Gohan until he got stomped on 
By no one other than the toddler that he taught and fostered
And as a grown-up, his losses don't stop
‘Cause all of the monsters that he was crossing took his comrades and offed them
I'm an Academy Ace! You never got an education
Speeding past your limits, but a driving test is where you're failing?
That's outrageous! You can't stay committed to the sons you're raising 
If you keep forsaking them as prey for the foes that you're facing
I'll be popping off when I land critical strikes
But when this pop is off, it's ‘cause he's ditching his wife
Losing the ones you love? You sure take after your dad, man
A father-son legacy ‘cause this fight’s your last stand!

Goku: (1:05)
Aw, I kinda wished I'd get an actual fight
Should’ve brought your gym leader to rap ‘cause you’re lacking in Ryme
So stack up our might, the gap is too wide if we talk fisticuffs
Couldn't patch that Gastly-looking face with Herba Mystica
So obsessed with spars, you'd wind up who you're speaking to
It seems that you must be illiterate - can't write or read the room
And after catching wind of Turtle School, a good bout’s what I can't ignore
While your school’s out catching turtles like some kind of Capsule Corps!
With what you've promoted, you left your fanbase broken
Those blows you dealt felt Phoned in, it's like your father Rotom
Kamehameha flowing ‘cause you don't seem to notice
This contest is the only time you're good at throwing
People drop you like your frame rate? Sheesh, you’ve had a rough time
You’re the type to bug but your game is more the bug-type 
You like to battle? Well… maybe don’t punch like
you’re still holding back, kid, let’s make this a fun fight!

Nemona (1:45):
You Self-Destruct in fights so much, this lucha’s your last
‘Cause like it's Frieza with your planet, I’mma put ‘ya on blast (Sí!)
This gluttonous dud should swallow this truth up for his next feast:
Regardless of his heart disease, this papá is a deadbeat

Goku (1:55):
Whew, that’s more like it! You’re getting used to spitting some disses
But I bet I can catch on quicker, call that Instant Transmission 
Shouldn't be messing with Universe 7, kid
When half your character designs are more lifeless than your professor is

Nemona (2:06):
If you wanna talk professors, I better mention
Yours developed cybernetic weapons, that left your future threatened
Even in the face of defeat, I'm always beaming up
You only made Raditz face defeat when you're left Beaming up!
And seeing your films’ canon, it’s just gunning to fail
‘Cause they made like a pair of scissors and kept cutting your tales
So like your hijo with a dinosaur, ditch this before it gets worse
We'd probably have to wait another saga for your next verse

Goku (2:26):
Of course this little privileged rich kid has never witnessed the image
of vicious villains killing every single innocent that lives in your village
After what happened to Krillin, 
I was driven to break my limits, you're just tracking down children
Endlessly battling with them, man you're just tactless, a dimwit
And with the draft that you’re pickin’, it’s just a match full of misfits
So maybe next time you go spotting new trainers who wanna be elite
Make like how your family treats you - and leave them be

Goku vs Nemona. SIR Rap Battles (ft. yukigloom & Jonna-Lynn Alonso)

*THIS BATTLE WAS MADE ENTIRELY BY WHITES ONLY IN THE SPAND OF 100 HOURS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION*

Danii as Mr. Crocker 
Near as Mrs. Puff

2Hats as SpongeBob 

Written by Teimunity, Danii, and 2Hats
Artwork by Teimunity and TeaworkAJ

Beat by Teimunity
Mixed and Mastered by Danii

Mrs. Puff vs. Mr. Crocker • TEIMUNITY RAP BATTLES!

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 04/15/2023

LYRICS

Wile E. Coyote:
LISTEN UP-

I don’t have much time before I drop from this height
So I’ll try to make it quick while I’m rocking the mic
Allow me to introduce myself, Wile E. Coyote
Genius at roasting dopes and flowing on dope beats
You should just quit, Komi, why, we don’t even measure
I’m more skilled, more cunning, simply, I’m better
Now I might be the Looney Tune
But you somehow surpass me with all the weirdos in your goofy school
Now if you asked me, I’d take you and the ones being crude and lewd
And strap you to a package that’s made with care, love from ACME
Your show exists for some lonely losers to relate
Komi-San and her fanbase can’t communicate
I gave this slice of life a piece of mine, hope the pain’s received 
Now if you excuse me, I shall now take my leAHHHHHHHHH

Komi:
I-I’m not really that good with rhyming words
But I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t like that verse
Supplies of TNT, but you couldn’t drop bombs though
You’d take second to Agari in a dog show
Maybe quit hunting season and find a day job
‘Cause you get fired worse than a Warner Bros. layoff
A “Super Genius” with your plans never changing
Running into the same wall like it’s your paintings
It’s been 70 years but still the same old act with
Comedy so primitive, no wonder it’s slapstick
Chased a chicken for all that time? Impressive
I don’t even think that Ren’s as obsessive
Chuck dropped ya’, now your toons are in the garbage
I’d say that’s all folks, but this was over ‘fore it started

CREDITS

TheMonarchy as Wile E. Coyote
Fightmarker as Road Runner

Kurobane Azia as Komi

Shadow Zel as Black Noir

Written by Rabi and Fightmarker
Beat prod. by Ihaksi
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by BMB and 3ple
Cover art by Rabi

Wile E. Coyote vs. Komi Can't Communicate - Rap Battle

Welcome back to Lame-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have two platforms for casual gamers, one for browsers and one for mobile devices; Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Cool Math
YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob
Twitter: www.twitter.com/commander_jacob

TaigaTonic as Google Play
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TaigaTonic
Twitter: www.twitter.com/TaigaTonic

- LYRICS -

CMG (0:12)
Listen Talking Tom, let’s just speed up the chat
I’ll kill a record, you ain’t even up to Scratch
Park it. Whose site’s been driving since ‘97? Not yours
If you bring your bars forward, I’m flipping ‘em like Bloxorz
This Dude’ll Jump to a height he still can’t reach my peak from
I’m your Papa and you just entered the Beat-ya-ria
How’d we get you? This equation should cut it
Me, minus screen size and physical buttons

GPG (0:32)
There can’t be a Way To Die that’s a little bit Dumber
Cuz tryna catch up to me is just an infinite runner
It’s a crapshoot. You came to our platform and your app’s Pou
I have your appeal while not trapped in a classroom
Take the win off your wishlist, don't wanna level up your hope
Barely hanging onto life so I’ve come to Cut the Rope
Tweets and merch about your original game? Great plan!
… it’s still just Hangman

CMG (0:52)
Speaking of: personality. You’re not spelling it
Fireboy and Watergi- kid I’ve been in my element
But no, bro, I can tell you’re proud to be mobile
With your games you put on PC and controller logo
You’re constantly begging for reviews like you’re owed answers
Well here: "one star; iOS with no standards
Or quality assurance." And you’re claiming you’re dope?
Mr. CEO of “you got games on your phone?”

GPG (1:12)
You’re the start but I’m the end of Johnny Upgrade’s coins
E-rated Newgrounds is getting negative Play Points
Clashing our Clans is really asking for death
My brand Game On lock with how it PAX an event (Let’s go!)
I don’t even need Flappy or Red to fuel my Jetpack
Your prominence Bricked! Mine? You can’t get Half
Algebra, Geometry: type of stuff you Dashed from
Still being named “Cool Math” doesn’t add up

CMG (1:32)
The kids behind the screen? Brought their childhood radness
You green hogs are only tryna siphon their cash quick
“World's Hardest Game” for you is not piling ads in
No Candy, Crush you for free, fuck microtransactions

GPG (1:42)
This heat’ll shut you down; that’s a firewall. What I’ve gathered?
I’m not paying premium, but you won’t forget my past words
After you’ve Raided Shadows of Legends for your backlog
I made your numbers leave like your mascot or when Flash stopped

- CREDITS -

Written, directed, edited, and beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Beat produced by Kelly Mac and Ben Fowler of Audio Network
Additional instruments by Splice and Neon Wave

Feedback by GamingPlush64, TaigaTonic, TheMonarchy, Freshy Kanal, RNG, JustGamer, Dilly Scott, Eric the Audible, 3ple, Danii, TheBabyBeef, Powerofdan, and the rest of the spaceship
Shout-out to Mr. Tibbs, Fightmarker, ayjayyy, and Karen Lyn Davis

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Cool Math Games vs Google Play Games | Rap Battle (LARB)

A rap battle between Minecraft and Terraria! 

Minecraft Vs. Terraria - Video Game Rap Battle

Scribblenauts vs. Little Big Planet

Here is some properly mixed audio, im going to use for the video of this battle. 

Written by:
Freshy Kanal, R the Writer, YAOES, Legion, Red

Chizeled By:
Mat4yo

Beat By:
LionRiddims

Mixed By:
Boris

Vladimyr P. as Maxwell

Freshy Kanal as Sackboy

Maxwell: (0:21)
Bag packed! Sharp Starrhymes flowing through you!
When I point ‘em at your face, I make this doll go voodoo.
These are real riddles, holmes, it is time for you to pop it.
You ain’t got no fitting sticker, better update your popit.
I jump and run the city when I’m scribbling art.
While you burnt out of ideas and copied Mario Kart.
Making checkpoints turn red, while I earn the fat stacks
I’ll press down your mood button, if you mess with Mad Max.

Sackboy: (0:42)
Well, you’d think a creative boy could scribble a better verse.
Your creators were more stoned than your sister when cursed.
It doesn't take a mini level to dismantle this crap toy,
You want an oral battle? You can suck my sack, boy!
I build my own level, rhyming fly and sick.
I bet you are a Doppelganger, since you copied my shtick.
And when I look back at the apple prank you’ve pulled, Max.
It makes me wanna grab Newton’s brain and smash it in your glove hat.

Maxwell: (1:03)
Best be careful with your rage or you’ll pop yourself out the zone.
Dude you are so lonely, your only friend is foam.
You fight along heroes but I’ll unmask your actions
By drilling Big SugarDaddy into the All Star trash bin.
I’ll Smash Brawl your controller, your story brings me mental pain.
You maintain that this game makes Higginbottom look sane.
Now look at your gain, check the bubbles you consume.
You’ll be like “Look at me, I earned a bitchslap costume”

Sackboy: (1:24)
I’ll verbally eat this word searching prick for lunch time
Too bad your notebook can’t find the word punchline.
Edgar and Julie will end up in a tragedy.
I own your notepad city and your axolotl family.
Your exit is a casualty, jump and run through evolution.
I’m coming from a King’s house, we are known for Maxecution.
Your prime got scribbled, just give up and drop your nation.
Cause by now your fanbase is wanking on my Play Station.

Scribblenauts vs. Little Big Planet - Rap Battle!

Titanium1208 as DK
JuliantheBeast as Little Mac
Adam as Doc Louis
HyperJacob96 as Announcer

DK:
I’m finally here! Performing for you!
If you know the words you can join in too!
Put your hands together if you want to clap!
As I’m tearing through… this Little Mac! (Huh!)
Tossing barrels on barrels! Just try to escape
Judging by your vertical you’ve been skipping leg day
Guess you can't Jumpman, boy I hope you can rhyme!
I could even take a hundred of you on at a time!
Mac, Really? Even Glass Joe has higher fame 
You’re just a shy guy hiding behind wire frames
KO’s charged! ... oh whoops, you missed
Brawl with us all you want, to me you’re still the assist

Little Mac:
In this corner the underdog’s ready to fight
Ready to let out punches with all his might
All of this training has prepared me for this
When this oversized monkey goes and meets my fist! 
Ain’t no better boxing match since Rocky v. Smirnoff
When this gorilla starts talking I’d rather him bite my ear off.
Peel on outta here, you can’t step in the ring with me
Like your GameCube game you’re sounding too off-beat
Just Look at what I can do to ya with one nasty blow 
How was your verse goofier than your tv show?


DK:
When I was picked first to rap everybody stepped back
You’re like a SoundCloud rapper, huh! Lil’ Mac
Don’t get smacked, Mario knows not to clapback
Rip you to shreds on the track like a Klaptrap
Your height forces you to make low-blows while fighting
Looks like you learned to spit from your buddy Mike Tyson
Your games stop paying and you’re no longer talked about
If you ask me Mac, I think it’s time you Punch Out

Little Mac: 
Ugh, he’s tough… Show him what you got Mac!
He hit me so hard….. Well then, hit him back!
You’re right Doc, I won’t have this be the end!
Pick yourself up, Don’t let him take you out again!
When I attack, the bigger they are the harder they’re falling 
I’ll have you and your whole DK Crew Smash Bawling
I’m fit, slick, and chiseled; got a cocky strut
Guess what? I’m not scared of your little Donkey punch
Giga Mac knows how to expand - dong
Take the crown to show you who’s king, Kong!
And lo, the beast looked on the face of beauty
Asking for an ice pack for his kicked-in booty.

DK:
I’m a classic in Smash ‘cause the Kong’s sublime
When I bongo beat, that’s a conga line
So hang up the gloves, you're looking fatigued
Even when not super slugging, I’m out of your league!
Came swinging at me, punching with all he can 
But even with my eyes closed you’re still getting speedran

Little Mac:
Can’t take the flak? Go back to the arcade
Don’t mess with Mac - this dude learned the hard way
Take down the OG, how’s that for some clout?
10! Raise my arm! Now that’s a knock out!

Super Smash Raps

Donkey Kong vs Little Mac. Super Smash Raps #1

Steady Cam as Bendy
The Stupendium as Baldi

Full Video: (Coming Soon)

Baldi's Basics vs. Bendy and the Ink Machine

Nemraps as Bowser
VGRB as Dr. Eggman

LYRICS:
Bowser
This be the King of the Koopas 
Backed by my army of troopas
I trap with the princess you try trappin critters
but we’ve got the shell’s that’ll shoot ya
Right out the chopper that you just jacked from me
You face the monster, conquering galaxies 
Hide in your lab while i’m rockin’ the castle
cause You lose to animals in every battle (like whoa)
I’m a Super Star Saga you’re just trash from Sega
Who lost a mascot contest to his own rival what a failure
So I’ll flame ya, I fight gory, lick my lips cause I like poultry 
Squeeze my jaw and eat you raw that’s what I call an inside story

Eggman
Lectured by lizard brains? One thing that I must ask then
Did you look back at all your games? Cause you lose to the mustached men
This turtle’s slow if he thinks that he’s tough 
To beat you all I have to is just jump 
Over you and into the lava your dunked
I’d be more threatened rapping against Doug 
Bowser go back in that shell so you can hide coward
Are you rapping in your final form your flow is dry bowser
I’m a mad genius you’re a buffoon, I’ll turn this dragon to my dragoon
It’s absurd my flow is out of the world as if I had just pissed on the moon

Bowser
Maybe invent something to hype your rap flows
Battle with gadgets my spikes’ll trash those
Claim that your genius is simply unmatched though 
You couldn’t craft a way to get in smash bros
Eggman, Robotnick whatever you call it
I’m gon’ leave this doctor so splattered like Pollock
Cause over the years, I got rough and tougher
But based on your movie you got dumb and dumber
and you’re supposed to Carrey that film? please
That mess gonna bomb like I gave it down B 
You redesigned the hedgehog to look clean
But can’t redesign all that bad comedy 
Shouldn’t have brought the faker to battle
Cause even your copies live in the shadow
of evil’s Og, so flee or the king
 will leave this egg boiled from fire I breathe

Eggman
I wish that your movie got redesigned too
Where the greatest part is when you devolve to ooze 
You spit fire true, but still it’s no sweat
because you’re only hot when you turn to Bowsette 
And capturing women is such easy targets 
I’ve seen harder beasts hatching out of chao garden 
Think you’re superstar kid you’re just in the bush league
Did you get amnesia a second time Rookie?
You’re plots end with no payoff, 
while I drop gems and spit chaos
You can flash your fangs and go gas your flames
But I’ll just swing your tail and you’ll take off 
How bout I give you a visual though
A dino extinct by the doc’s missile flow
and now I’ve trapped this beast you are not the OG
You’re not even Mario’s original foe

Bowser Vs. Dr. Eggman

Welcome to what I guess is the first episode of Lame-Ass Rap Battles! (Pac-Man vs WHG’s getting delayed, sorry.) Today we have a battle of evil artificial clones with Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Metal Sonic
GamingPlush64 as DoodleBob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Written by Commander Jacob and GamingPlush64
Produced by Smoke

Lyrics

Metal Sonic:
I’ve my target acquired: a reckless sketch his builder ditched
Aka stick-legged freak spewing epileptic gibberish 
Got a chaotic flow that's aimed at you, well ain’t it brutal?
They put a mic-killing monster against a janky Frankendoodle
Your pencil and place in battle’s number two, so you're in trouble
Reduced to bootleg merch. Now I’m popping your RedBubble
The bad-ass Badnik’s giving him a bad nick and leaving him hurt
Hypothesis: your magic pencil still can’t write out a decent verse

DoodleBob:
You think you’re cool, but you just got me annoyed, boy
So make your next form a better rapper, son of a nyoy nyoy!
Can't stand this toy's noise. Got the slave of aluminum stressin’
But things get sketchy when you enter the Doodle Dimension
Going mach-5, but not even good enough for ‘06, man. You can’t withstand
That a neo nazi’s boutta get damned. Line him up and strike a bowling ball through this tin can
Or I’ll bust out the lead if you tryna gra-fight. So now what?
I oughta call it a draw, Eggbreath already screwed your mouth shut

Metal Sonic:
You act tough, but something you never considered
I’d be more intimidated facing Jellyfish Squidward
You from the shredder or printer? Either way, I’ll have you slashed through
But back to dimensions, your rhymes and design barley have 2
Locate a sharpener if you think on a track you can beat me. Don’t make me repeat
The elite machine will remind you that he was built to be on a CD
Analyzing from all angles: your chance to win’s looking thin
Firearms unrequired; initiating “throw a book at him”

DoodleBob:
Every time you think you’re besting Sonic, you end up dead wrong
I command a doodle army, you stalk and copy a hedgehog
I can tell you don’t lack grit when you rage like a spastic
Didn’t know the position “Bad-nik” was talkin’ ‘bout your rap shit
Forever in Omega’s shadow and forgotten, good riddance
You’re the Terminator if he listened to too much Skrillex
Scrapping this Metallic Madness and putting an end to the race
Because I don’t need the pencil to have your relevance... erased

Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #1

Cam "VGRB" as Wario
Froz as Shadow
Mixed by Froz
Beat by DANSA BEATS

Shadow:
Pipe up, pipe down, chill in the back
I've got a show to run, and now the villain is back
Lemme guess, another one of your "pro-bro" spits
Put out by the wind, take a photo, bitch
Can't catch killer camera crasher
Glitch grand gladiator to a gas compactor
Rap rat kicking ass in the black to match
You're in D-EE-P, massive crap
Ain't No Half Steppin', I'mma throw back, wrecking in your gonads, lesson to a slow fat peasant
Reckon
It's about time to toss the towel
I'm a speed-spoken poet, supersonic vowels
Venture like a vulture into vengeance, evacuate
Came to violate violently, you're violet and bound to pass away
Call me Pan, I crawl past plain sight
On my watch, you're broken into eighths by DayLight, pieces

Wario:
Like Jesus, 
maybe cease the screamin’ Vegeta?
Cause you’re just a clone of a clone of my foe
Yeah They call you shadow for a reason
Bring all your friends I’ll be eatin’ them
You got 7 gems? I got millions
I don’t need to bring a .9, these guns will do 
I’m a killer on the mic so run the jewels
Your girl ain’t dead she needed a real man 
So I took Maria to Wario Land
Ironic you’re supposed to cure her deadly illness
But only caused cancer with all of your fans 
I smash down bros in the hall of fame
To Bash Shadow is a mini game
& Wario breaks rats like they’re bricks
But you’ll make a nice trophy if I need assists

Shadow:
I was nice for a change, now it’s AK game time
You’ve got pounds, we have bass lines
Why would Wario wanna wish away?
To wake wisdom and war for the wimp to waste
What a whack, weak wannabe
Fragile as pottery
Imitating Mario, don’t even try to copy me
That W belongs to me
Fucker had to get a shoehorn right into Odyssey
Not a main character
The same character
A fact that you’ll always be
The one reject trapped in a red man’s shadow
Don’t look at me, might digest ammo
All of you damn meatballs look identical
You slay a giant, I’ve killed several
An OG? Never earned that title
Impossible to think you could ever be an idol

Wario: 
Your empty threats don’t scare me now
This edgy pest just Wares me out 
You’re always so dark and depressed
That a suicide mission’s all that you can carry out
The ultimate life form?
You’re just a faker of Sonic
Your verses are like your gameplay
Cause It’s all speed and no content  
When it comes to makin’ these rude tunes
Wario’s got smooth moves
Heard your all raps now I’ve gone and snapped
just go make like your spin attacks screw you 
You’re more desolate than Mephiles 
Always blowing out smoke like toot toot
Make you bleed to your black doom
Does something stink oh wait that’s you

Wario vs Shadow the Hedgehog - Video Game Rap Battle

In the 2nd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, we have classic vs modern. Simple vs difficult. Circle vs Square. We have Pac-Man against the World’s Hardest Game. Enjoy!

Alex the Beast as Pac-Man
Fightmarker as World's Hardest Game
Written by Commander Jacob (w/ additional help from Mr. Tibbs, Zawesome, and Freshy Kanal)
Mixed by Light
Produced by Allen Kass

[NEW VERSION] Pac-Man vs World's Hardest Game | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #2

In the 3rd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, It's a battle of the art programs! We have Microsoft Paint vs Adobe Photoshop. Enjoy!

Snakebite126 as Paint
Eric the Audible as Photoshop
Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Produced by George Georgia of Audio Network
Beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob

Paint (0:20):
I’m opening the Windows, so scram off of my lawn
Don’t try to rhyme, dog. Even my palette’s a icon
You charge 30 a month for a learning curve that's straight doo-doo
Must've dropped the opacity, I can see right through you
I’ll grab a brush, swap the color: make this kid black out
Because I bet your raps aren’t even a Bitmap-ped out.
I'm the godfather of digital art, there’s no denying me
I’ll get to sinking your ship if you wanna whine about piracy

Photoshop (0:41):
If you'd like to start war, let's open an artboard.
Got a liquefied flow to claim the place that I’ve fought for
Look, like anything made with you, all your raps will fall flat
We’re already two different types. No need to up the contrast
Sketch all the sloppy shapes you want, I’m rocking the house
Your users likely don’t have internet and draw with a mouse
Mark this, my bars got a hardness of eight hundred
You’re even sucking at fillers. I’ll make you kick the paint bucket

Paint (1:02):
Falling flat? Check the thumbnail. You can’t scold me
Coming at me with those lines, you might wanna ctrl Z
Painting skies since ‘85, style pouring like rain
I draw the line on this mic; call me MC Paint (ha)
You can’t mask your overratedness. It’s hurting, isn’t it?
Hold ctrl and scroll up; maybe you’ll find a shit I give

Photoshop (1:17):
I’m known to burn tools when I’m spitting a rhyme
You can’t make a drop shadow, so keep living in mine
Look, you want some layered disses and blending modes? I got plentiful
For programs rough 'round the edges, I’d recommend the feather tool
Masks? I’m clipping you. No brown, but your pallet’s shitty, dude.
Get back to the junkyard. GIMP is less of a bitch to use

Paint (1:32):
You can’t recover from this with a healing brush, how sad
I’ve had more fun using an SNES mouse pad
Use your magic wand to select good lines, ingrate
Or continue making YouTubers’ slimy-ass clickbait

Photoshop  (1:42):
I’ve had to deal with dudes tryna do me like a clone stamp
So let’s crop and slice the comic sans of art programs
That’s how you lasso a win, no way MS Jank beat me
You'd be better off opening a verse in Paint 3D

Microsoft Paint vs Adobe Photoshop | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #3

Connor Quest as Arceus
CamVGRB as Giratina

LYRICS:
COMING SOON

Arceus vs. Giratina

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.