KICKED

Drévo aka Spacki, Revin und Yuki aka Ketos verbreiten nichts als Lügen und Bullshit und versuchen krampfhaft, Konkurrenz zum Schweigen zu bringen. Doch ihre verlogenen Worte schlagen nur als Hass gegen sie selbst zurück. Jetzt wird offengelegt, wie verlogen sie wirklich sind und wie sie aus Vergangenem versuchen, Menschen zu Fall zu bringen. Ekelhaft, wie krank man sein muss, um private Aussagen und vergangene Traumata zu nutzen, nur um Angriffsmaterial zu haben. Daran sieht man deutlich, wie tief ein Mensch gefallen ist, wenn er so weit gehen muss, nur um Argumente gegen jemanden zu finden, der wirklich etwas erreicht, wirklich etwas gelernt hat und sein Leid sowie seine Depressionen hinter sich lassen konnte.

A Spacki is a Spacki ;)

EMBXDIMENT

Red Hood:
Stepping up against this wannabe hack n’ slasher
But here you’re getting played, call it Castle Crashers
You’re completely insane, but what can I really say
for an idiot who got knocked out by a paper plane?
Through all of my training, nothing will ever be enough
But I’m not scared of a scrub who took supplements to get buff
This is Code Red! I’ll Hush you. Don’t try to fight the best
Unless you wanna end up like that skull on your chest!

Punisher:
Hrm, I thought you’d know a bit more about dropping bars
You and that Power Ranger mask aren’t gettin’ very far
Take this low-budget Deadpool down, my guns are locked and loaded
Droppin’ bombs that impact you even more than that explosion
You could never hassle the ways Castle could
Send this Little Red Riding Hood back outta the woods
Why you’re here? You know it really makes my head itch
‘Cause boy, I’ve been known to take down a red bitch

Red Hood:
You know, you’ll probably thank me when I take your life
Then you’d be having a reunion with your children and wife

Punisher:
I’m hearing these words, yet I’m barely diminished
and I won’t need to phone in my lines to have you finished

Red Hood:
From what I can tell, you’re not aiming very sharply
As your rhymes are crappier than that crossover with Archie!

Punisher:
You’re the fan poll that nobody liked, Jason
How could an overzealous todd-ler have replaced Dick Grayson?

Red Hood:
Quite Frank-ly, I'm done with this revenge-bent prick
Since he dealt enough punishment with his terrible flicks
It’s kinda looking like the end of the line
and this time you won’t come back as some angsty Frankenstein

Punisher:
Kid, your whole defying death has caused enough Injustice
A war on your Knight surely won’t be left bloodless
‘Cause when it comes to law, sometime’s you’ve gotta say screw it
I’d give you proper punishment, but Joker beat me to it

Seth as Red Hood
Light as The Punisher

Coverart by Fightmarker

Written by: Seth, Dragonsblood23, B-Lo Lorbes, Elvis Goop, Stofferex, Matthew Thomas, VRISKA, MythicalKiwi, Honeycombs96, Redkirby101ishere

Red Hood VS The Punisher - CBRB Vol. 2 Issue 9

In the first episode of Half-Ass Rap Battles (the bonus spin-off of Lame-Ass Rap Battles) we have a pizza slice against a hamburger because why not, I had fun with it.

Written by Commander Jacob
Freshy Kanal as Pizza
Commander Jacob as Hamburger
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by 2Deep

Pizza:
Come out the oven deep-dish when I got to rap a line
Cause you got no flavor like the fries you come with half the time
Reppin’ Italy critically. All your mascots disturbin’ me
I’ll have you drop in the ER, get your ass back to Germany
I have enough cheese. Get a taste, mate. Cream you, but don’t wanna taste mayonnaise
Rhymin’ supreme. Steppin’ to me and I’m havin’ ya bleed. Getting ketchup to spray, k?
Whatchu got, lettuce? Broseph, ya never toppin’ me
Go ahead and slice me up, that just means more people chompin’ me

Burger:
Hey, I placed an order, but it came with too much cheese, bruh 
I’ll need an extra-hot verse, I got a pizza to heat up
No way you can fuck with me. I out-pizza the hut, ya see?
If you wanna rat me out, I’ll send you back to Chuck E. Cheese
Got a red dot on you like a pepperoni, homie
Ordering pineapple’s the only way you be spittin’ grossly
Give ya girl my meat and make some bread. I’m a phenomenon
With you I’m intolerant, but no way more than Papa John

Pizza vs Burger | Half-Ass Rap Battle #1

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

In the 2nd installment of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, we have classic vs modern. Simple vs difficult. Circle vs Square. We have Pac-Man against the World’s Hardest Game. Enjoy!

Alex the Beast as Pac-Man
Fightmarker as World's Hardest Game
Written by Commander Jacob (w/ additional help from Mr. Tibbs, Zawesome, and Freshy Kanal)
Mixed by Light
Produced by Allen Kass

[NEW VERSION] Pac-Man vs World's Hardest Game | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #2

VinnyO as Light
Freshy Kanal as Eggman
Extra Instruments by VinnyO and Freshy Kanal
Mix by Freshy Kanal

Light:
Take a look at yourself - you're a rotten apple, both in and out you're just revolting
Building machines that instantly get destroyed - leaving Eggman nuts and bolting
I’m one for cancelling announcements, I see with no need for shinigami eyes that
For an Eggman with a so-called master plan, you're more of a walrus with a short lifespan
My plans fell into place like your rip-off of Tetris 
I'm a king, I’m a god, you're a schmuck, don't you get this?
You build bots since you're more friendless than Memphis 
I smite every chump whose name's writ on my checklist
Is it Ivo Robotnik, Kobintor, or Eggman? PICK ONE ALREADY! What the hell do I write?
Close your eyes, in the sequel it seems that you won’t be seeing the Light
  
Eggman:
Snooping as usual ? You fool! You will never know my name!
You’re only a god of the Lost World, but I’ve Advanced on the track, so this is no game
Your pad and pen tricked you to demonize, 
and you’re left obsessed with your demon eyes
Live action films were your deemed demise 
But they franchised mine as my dreams arised
How blinded have you gotten--it’s clear your shinigami is da foe
I thought that it would be clear only a psychopath would dare to use Light mode
Go run back to your Amy Rose, no queen can check this game to close
I have a -- Death Note to make: You have to grim reap what you sow!

Light Yagami vs Doctor Eggman. Battle Bytes #34

Mancha as Phantom Virus
Titanium1208 as King Ghidorah

Virus:
Silence! Grab three face masks before you catch this virus
Your interest ran out of mileage, ditch the dumb head, that’s my pitch!
I’m just vibin’, here to conquer, but your franchise lets me prosper
Cuz it just takes a Verse to Destroy All Monsters!
I step up to the plate respected 
Can’t wash your hands; you’ll get infected
If the lines you spit from the trifecta of heads
Is expected I’d rather just end up ejected
Got no crown, you're no King, Ghidorah
Your only love’s from neckbeards in fedoras
Get your origin straight or you’ll meet your fate
I bring the hertz with my shocking aura

Ghidorah:
Keep your distance! Though I’m vicious you’re rasping like you’re Trojan hoarse!
I Inspect electric Elements to destroy code from its source
You’re jacking up on cheat codes desperate for a chance to surpass, so
I guess this battle’s Astro-Monster versus Houston Astros!
Confined inside a floppy disk, your work never saw the light of day
Charge the mound all you want, you’re only good enough for Single A 
You struck out with your game and friends you know you’ve got no chance sir
Prancing around magnets so often you’re just a pole dancer

Phantom Virus vs King Ghidorah. Battle Bytes #35

In celebration of Legend of Korra launching on Netflix, we have released the audio to our newest battle. It's the enemy of the Avatar: Prince Zuko versus the Force's chosen one: Anakin Skywalker. Who will come out on top?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You could've found this battle first by subscribing to our youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0PGvIzEfdvePS-Qd-zShdw 
------------------------------------------------------------
Written By: Eric The Audible, Vladimyr P.
Mixed by: Jacob G.
Sound Effect Design: Jacob G. and Vladimyr P.
Edited by: Eric The Audible
Beat by:  Kustom
------------------------------------------------------------
CAST:
Zuko - Eric The Audible
Anakin - Jacob G.
Darth Vader - Light
--------------------------------------------------------------

Lyrics

Zuko (0:14)
When fighting in the stars, you’ll burn harder than a Sozin sun
When in my element, I’ll roast another chosen one
The product of a prophecy is all you have to thank?
I’m a firebending master, ask your council ‘bout my rank

I’m scorching this, check again who you’re warring with, you took all of the glory when
You were forced into George’s story way more than the midichlorians
Stuck Orbitin’ a hero who captured audience attention 
Got minced, then your forbidden romance became the fandom’s menace

With a prequel so unequal, now your series is extinct
I’m the last dragon when I’m rapping, you’re Jesus meets Jar Jar Binks
I’ve noticed you’ve grown tense ever since I’ve thrown flames
You’re usually so stone faced, so Annie are you okay?

Anakin (0:58)
So this is the heir to the great fire nation?
You’ve got that Iroh flare - bring shame to your entire nation
I’ve got a bad feeling for you, that put me in agony guy
Cause the only tragedy worse than that rapping was your daddy’s last agni kai

*Lightsaber noise*

I shouldn’t strike with anger as a trained Jedi Knight
But keep talking out of line and a trained Jedi might
Your empire is impure, so unbalanced but I’m sure
I’ve fought off a more dark force than a hundred fire Lord’s wars

Only thing more maddening than sand is combating ‘gainst a flashy brat of a padawan 
Would’ve been bygones, then he mentioned qui-gon, now the blue spirit’s fearin’ the blue blade I’ve drawn
Treat your friends the worst, who knows why they even bother
I’d give you what you deserve, but Zuko I am not your father
Zuko (1:41):
Those stormtrooper style disses barely nicked me
Emancipated from slavery just to be bought out by Disney
Your delivery’s so jaded it made even die-hard fans die
You’ll fry like your order, restore honor to your franchise

*Breakdown*

Darth Vader (2:10):
*breathing* You’ll have more than scar tissue
I’m harnessing a darkness even the phoenix king couldnt Mark up to
Your heart was so broken, came last in the throne running
Wanna beat Azula? Then I’ll school you like the Younglings

Combustion on the mic like boom boom, leave you like mai so gloom, doomed
Katara’s in fear, there’s no spirit healing, search your feelings you know it's true
No new hope for return once the Jedi burn in fire
Don’t try fighting back or striking at my new empire

Zuko:
Your new empire? Is that why Palps will strike you down?
I’m shocked to see myself atop the moral high ground
There’s fate in this duel,  I’m sorry to end this challenge
But you can’t redirect this lightning until you restore the balance

Central Rap Battles: Zuko vs. Anakin

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.

[NEW VERSION] Pac-Man vs World's Hardest Game | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #2

Commander Jacob

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