This week, on account of the obscenely high temperatures in New York, we discuss the best ways to be lazy. Ya know, to conserve energy and whatnot. From dropping off your laundry at a laundromat with a surly hipster employee instead of doing it yourself, to buying an electronic Spin the Bottle game so you don't have to spin some bottle like a rube just to kiss somebody in the context of a game situation, we have every lazy trick covered.

Also, in a new installment of Tim & Tom Solve Your Problems, we give advice to a high school ski bum who doesn't think wooing girls is worth his time.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free 30 day trial and audiobook download at tcgte.com/audible.

Being Lazy

This week we're of course talking about a movie that isn't coming out for two years, doesn't even have an official title, and very little information has been released about: Batman Vs. Superman. Also this week we discuss Tim's upcoming train vacation and go over five entries into the new Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems song contest, almost half of which are disqualified immediately. We also solve a listener email about whether he should try to date his best friend's sister long distance.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30-day trial by signing up at tcgte.com/audible.

Batman Vs. Superman  The Movie

This week we’re covering Diet Coke, the delicious drink that is very healthy. We also cover OK Soda, the drink of choice for disaffected Gen Xers, and the idea of a kamikaze product in the form of Tab Clear.
For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the <a href="https://patreon.com/completeguide">TCGTE Patreon!</a>
Like the show? <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-complete-guide-to-everything/id119832920">Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts</a> and let us know what topic they should check out next.
Follow Tim on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yourpaltim">@yourpaltim</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://instagram.com/yourpaltim">@yourpaltim</a>
Follow Tom on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/tomreynolds">@tomreynolds</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tomreynolds/">@tomreynolds</a>
Advertise on <a href="https://gumball.fm/shows/the-complete-guide-to-everything/5a592688b73aeb30532c6b51">The Complete Guide to Everything</a> via <a href="http://Gumball.fm">Gumball.fm</a>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.

Diet Coke

The second night in Manchester as part of last year's UK/Ireland tour! Hear us talk all about crazy conspiracy theories from the internet, play games with the audience and solve problems LIVE on stage!

If you're in Ireland or England there's still time to grab tickets! (Sorry Scotland, sold out.) Get all the info and buy tickets at tcgte.com/tour.

Tour Tickets

Conspiracy Theories (Night 2 in Manchester 2013)

World Cup Fever! This week we’re talking all about the world’s favorite sport: Non-American Football. Mostly though we talk about how Tom enjoys soccer, Tim is indifferent to it and they both agree that a lot of people in Brooklyn pretend to like it when the World Cup happens. Also the return of our world famous segment, The Mundane Bucket List.

This week’s episode is sponsored by The Complete Guide to Everything, who encourage you to check out The Complete Guide to Everything: After Dark Volume 2! That’s right, another collection of exclusive episodes we recorded with 7 of our besties that are available only on this custom limited edition 4GB USB drive. Over 10 hours of content for only $20 right over at tcgte.com/store!

World Cup 2014 Brazil

This week we’re talking all about haunted houses! Ohhhhhhhhh! Scary! All kinds of haunted houses, from the dinky ones at small-time amusement parks like Adventureland, where Tim shut down an entire ride, to haunted walking tours all about horrific deaths. Also we solve a listener’s problem having to do with some inappropriate photos on a work computer.

This episode is brought to you by Audible. For a free 30 day trial and an audiobook download of your choice, sign up at tcgte.com/audible.

Haunted Houses

It’s Tim and Tom Talkin’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Except neither of them has seen the new movie, so mostly it’s just talking about the old movies, TV shows, video games, action figures, comic books, ice pops, pizza, etc. Also, Tim reveals what he played with as a child instead of action figures like a regular kid!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Can you believe in all this time we’ve never actually done a Black Friday episode? Neither could we, so we decided to correct. A full hour of us complaining about consumerism AND talking about finding great deals! To honor our dear friend Casey and support those struggling with medical debt, you can kindly donate at <a href="http://tcgte.com/donate" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">tcgte.com/donate</a> For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts and let us know what topic they should check out next.Follow Tim on Twitter: @yourpaltim and Instagram: @yourpaltimFollow Tom on Twitter: @tomreynolds and Instagram: @tomreynoldsAdvertise on The Complete Guide to Everything via Gumball.fm This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/COMPLETEGUIDE and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Black Friday

We recorded this episode during a holiday week and didn't feel like doing our usual rigorous research, so instead we've brought back an old segment -- The Gauntlet! We asked our Patreon supporters for topic ideas, and in this episode we're going through them and deciding which will be future episodes and which ones will go to hell. See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

The Gauntlet

This week we’re talking about everyone’s favorite toaster pastry from Kellanova Industries: Pop-Tarts. Which flavors are the best? Are they really inferior to Pillsbury Toaster Strudels? (Yes.) Also, Henry Kissinger dies in the middle of recording. For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the <a href="https://patreon.com/completeguide" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TCGTE Patreon!</a>Like the show? <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-complete-guide-to-everything/id119832920" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts</a> and let us know what topic they should check out next.Follow Tim on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://instagram.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a>Follow Tom on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/tomreynolds" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tomreynolds/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a>Advertise on <a href="https://gumball.fm/shows/the-complete-guide-to-everything/5a592688b73aeb30532c6b51" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Complete Guide to Everything</a> via <a href="http://Gumball.fm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Gumball.fm</a>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Pop-Tarts

If you need to buy a gift for a child this holiday season, allow us to give you the lowdown on this year's hottest toys and point you in the right direction. If you buy them every toy we talk about, they're guaranteed to love and respect you for the rest of their lives.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Top Toys of 2023

’Tis the season, so this week we’re talking about the top Christmas songs of all time. We also find out that Thanksgiving songs exist and that Christmas song trivia is kinda boring. But before anything else, Tom has a very important hypothetical situation for Tim. For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the <a href="https://patreon.com/completeguide" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TCGTE Patreon!</a>Like the show? <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-complete-guide-to-everything/id119832920" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts</a> and let us know what topic they should check out next.Follow Tim on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://instagram.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a>Follow Tom on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/tomreynolds" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tomreynolds/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a>Advertise on <a href="https://gumball.fm/shows/the-complete-guide-to-everything/5a592688b73aeb30532c6b51" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Complete Guide to Everything</a> via <a href="http://Gumball.fm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Gumball.fm</a> This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/COMPLETEGUIDE&nbsp;and get on your way to being your best self.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Christmas Songs

It's another holiday week, so we're doing another very special (and very low-lift) Gauntlet episode. What's that, you ask? We asked our Patreon supporters for topic ideas, and in this episode we're once again going through them and deciding which will be future episodes and which ones will go to hell. Merry Christmas.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Another Gauntlet

Well, it's time to wave goodbye to 2023 and then turn around and wave hello to 2024. This week we take a look back at 2023, but instead of talking about any of the bad stuff that's happened we mostly just talk about Taylor Swift. For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the <a href="https://patreon.com/completeguide" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TCGTE Patreon!</a>Like the show? <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-complete-guide-to-everything/id119832920" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts</a> and let us know what topic they should check out next.Follow Tim on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://instagram.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a>Follow Tom on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/tomreynolds" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tomreynolds/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a>Advertise on <a href="https://gumball.fm/shows/the-complete-guide-to-everything/5a592688b73aeb30532c6b51" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Complete Guide to Everything</a> via <a href="http://Gumball.fm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Gumball.fm</a>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

2023 Year in Review

One of the world's wealthiest and most beloved rodents is in the news this week, as Mickey Mouse's first short Steamboat Willie entered the public domain. What does that mean, and more importantly, what is Mickey's whole deal? We discuss and debate these important topics on a very special episode of The Complete Guide To Everything.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Mickey Mouse

The 2024 Consumer Electronics Show was this week and we’re discussing all the latest gadgets and gizmos that have been introduced, including a surprising number of urine-related gadgets. For weekly episodes of Books: The Podcast and much, much more check out the <a href="https://patreon.com/completeguide" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TCGTE Patreon!</a>Like the show? <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-complete-guide-to-everything/id119832920" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Rate The Complete Guide to Everything 5-Stars on Apple Podcasts</a> and let us know what topic they should check out next.Follow Tim on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://instagram.com/yourpaltim" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@yourpaltim</a>Follow Tom on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/tomreynolds" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a> and Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tomreynolds/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">@tomreynolds</a>Advertise on <a href="https://gumball.fm/shows/the-complete-guide-to-everything/5a592688b73aeb30532c6b51" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">The Complete Guide to Everything</a> via <a href="http://Gumball.fm" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Gumball.fm</a>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Consumer Electronics Show (CES) 2024

Have you heard about the water cup that everyone is losing their minds over? It's called the Stanley Cup, but it has nothing to do with hockey, and if you drink water out of anything else you're a dumb loser. This week dig deep into the Stanley Cup, Tim gets into a band 30 years too late, and Tom apparently has a new podcast.See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

Stanley Cup

The toy-giving season is coming up, and this week we're talking about the mother of all toy stores: Toys R Us. We talk about how difficult it was to get there as a child, the horrible idea of letting kids "test" toys while making their wish lists, the logistics of buying a video game as a child and FAO Shwarz, the high end toy store recently bought by Toys R Us. 

Also Tim has a foul smelling misadventure on the bus, Tom has some internet problems and we solve a problem about smoking cigarettes.

Hey, did you can support the show and get some cool rewards? Check it out at tcgte.com/pledge.

Support TCGTE

Toys R Us

Mars. The Red Planet. We've all heard of it, but how many of us have actually been there? The answer may surprise you. The answer is none. None of us have actually been there. But that's not going to stop us from talking about Total Recall, Terraforming, One-Way Trips, Biodomes and everything else you need to know about if you want to go to Mars.

Also we solve a problem about a listener's friend who raps all the time.

Support TCGTE!

Mars

It's Christmastime, so this week we're doing an episode about noted horror novelist Stephen King. This guy does it all: writes books, has movies made based on his books, produces miniseries based on the same books successful movies have already been based on, and predicts the future in the books written by his pseudonym.

Also, Tom gets a weird contraption for his back and we solve a problem from a listener who expects us to figure out his whole life for him.

Stephen King

What conversation about mattresses would be complete if it didn’t start with 20 minutes of Tim complaining about Tom’s new Apple Watch and ignoring Tim’s text message? After that, we talk about the new mattress Tom bought from the internet, the time Tim got duped into paying an extra $200 for a mattress by a mattress salesman, mattress protectors and spilling wine/wetting the bed and a tease for future bed episodes.

This week we also solve a problem from a listener who found a bunch of undeveloped film rolls in hiding place in the old shed of the new home he bought.

Mattresses (Part One Of The Bed Series)

It's Foo Fighters week on The Complete Guide to Everything. That's because Tim and Tom saw the Foo Fighters last week at Citi Field. This week we talk all about Foo Fighters, the basis for Tim and Tom's original friendship in the 1990's. We also go through each album, naming the best, worst and sleeper hits of each until we get to the albums where we don't recognize any songs any more.

Brought to you by Sidekick by Hubspot. With Sidekick, you can have powerful contact insight right in your inbox. Seamlessly integrated email tools for Gmail, Apple Mail, and Outlook to receive live notifications when someone opens and clicks on your emails. Go to getsidekick.com/everything to get your first month of Sidekick for free.

Foo Fighters

Public Relations is a hard job. This week we talk about the PR efforts behind a new TV show (Tom was invited to a fancy premiere party), Adele’s new album and Justin Beaver: The Dancing Boy.

We also solve a problem that is super ridiculous.

HEY NEW YORK! Come to our live Holiday Spectacular at Union Hall in Brooklyn on December 4th. Get tickets at tcgte.com/live.

Public Relations

This week we talk about that thing people in suits do with a microphone in front of a brick wall: stand-up comedy. Things get a little heated when we go through a strange list of best-ever comedians from 2005. Also, Tom tries to start a feud with an actor that nobody has ever heard of.

Stand - Up Comedy

We look back on Michael Jackson's career, legacy and various types of pets in their truimphent and unnecessarily long return to audio podcasting.  

Michael Jackson

On this week's yuletide-themed episode, we decide we know too little about Hanukkah to say anything about it so we discuss boring advent calendars, hypnotic Gap commercials, adults getting gifts from their parents, kids being jerks on Christmas morning, little kids lying about seeing Santa Claus, drinking too much at family Christmas parties, talking to [...]

Christmas (or, “How Cute Are These Boots?”)

Looking for love? You've come to the right place! This week we discuss dating and love and whatnot. From 80s video dating to niche online dating services for weird people, we cover it all and give you all the information you need to get to third base on your next romantic excursion. We also discuss [...]

Dating (Part 1)

Janitors Milk The New Theme Song "Enhanced" Consulting for the TSA Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems: Are We Your Friends? Types of Philes Two Timing A Juggalo's Response Illustrations by Natalie Al-Tahhan. Check out her work at Flailing With Ink.

Airport Security

We begin our "The Complete Guide to Everything: Myths and Legends" series off with a bang, gunning for public enemy number 1: The Loch Ness Monster. Also, Tom submits his evolutionary thesis concerning unattractive people and fetishists.

Loch Ness Monster

In the third part of our acclaimed "Dating" series, we take a look at the "seduction community" and strange process in which some people try to woo members of the opposite sex. We also talk about chivalry in modern times, and cover "the bases" for those not in the know. 

Dating: The Art of Seduction

Breaking up is hard sometimes, but we do our best to let you down easy this week with our discussions of harebrains, literal baby cakes, real monsters, how good of swimmers we are and easy ways to break up with someone else. We also tear down New York Times Paywall by proving we never needed them in the first place.

Breaking Up




Fresh off a trip to London to do a couple of live shows, we recount some of the finer points of international travel. Topics include ordering middle of the night meatball sandwiches, the importance of protecting your valuables, solving historical crimes near your hotel and not bringing a parachute onto a commercial airliner. Also, Tom has infuriating opinions regarding the proper way for customs agents to welcome citizens back to their home country.

International Travel

A return to camping, the importance of Tom's watch, The Rapture, ponies on a train, scratch off lottery tickets, Tom's pro boon inventions for Starbucks and Burger King, another crack at the TCGTE theme song, and Tim and Tom solve a follow up inquiry about a newly vegan roommate and help out a college student who believes his professor wants to give him some after class instruction.

The Rapture

Tales of rich lady pizzeria haggling, Tom willing to pay exorbitant prices for Back to the Future Nike Air Mags, selfish notions of wishing NYC was grittier, the Ark of the Covenant being a nuclear device, nuclear explosions thousands of years ago, Ancient Volcanos and some advice about sending us drunk emails in the middle of the night.

Ancient Aliens

In honor of Presidents Day we discuss the life and times of Honest Abe Lincoln, but get caught up in discussing how duels work, Lincoln's severe depression and creepy dreams, Stomp performing at Ford's Theater and some of his not-so-famous quotes. We also hear about Tom's disgusting illness in very innocuous terms and Tim has a mundane bucket list entry about trains.

Abe Lincoln

This week Tom receives more mail from the local cemetery and has a run-in with a conspiracy theorist on the subway, leading to a frank discussion about the Illuminati and immortality. Also Tim explains how he doesn't like people who love science, but wouldn't mind donating his body to it as long as he can make sure it isn't used to scare children after he's dead.

On the subject of McDonalds the guys discuss promotional menus, "eating" a milkshake, Grilled Onion Chedder burgers, Fish McBites, McRib, Shamrock Shake, the origins of the McRib, Hulu burgers and Tim's run in with his McDonalds employee crush from 15 years ago. Before they wrap up they also take a moment to solve a problem with a woman who doesn't want her boyfriend asking her parents to marry her.

McDonalds

This week we take on the thrilling subject of purchasing your food at the supermarket, a process that often confounds Tim and Tom despite that they are grown men in their 30s.
 In this episode we talk about getting into altercations with experienced shoppers in supermarkets, the merits of leaving milk in the refrigerator until it solidifies for easier disposal, tricking your children into thinking your favorite cereal is health food, the many infurating new flavors of mayonnaise and the strange cases of Miracle Whip and Cool Whip.
This episode is sponsored by MailChimp, a great service we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

Supermarket Shopping

This week's episode begins with the disappointment that Tim and Tom were unable to attend this year's Wrestlemania and the full intention of doing the episode about a different subject entirely before the power of Wrestlemania flat-out demands that they instead indeed talk almost exclusively about wrestling. Of course this means talking about the recent Hulk Hogan Uncensored at the Beacon Theatre that neither attended, a nearly screenplay accurate recounting of the Wrestling Buddies (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XllxxslzkGU) commercial and Tim's close encounter with a Murphy bed.

Also discussed in depth this week: Tom's legacy as a two-term class president in high school and his attempts at recreating a wrestling fundraiser he and Tim both attended as young children where Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka screamed at him.

This episode is brought to you by MailChimp, a great service that we use ourselves. Check it out at mailchimp.com.

Wrestling

In this episode, a sequel (or "squeakquel") to an episode from 2010, we discuss an array of topics. We cover selling broken iPads on eBay, Michael Jackson, wearing jeans to basketball practice, buying school gym coaches football hats and eating gummy vitamins as an adult. Also, Tom tells a story about a recent heart attack victim concerned with a child's safety at a Wendy's fast food restaurant and Tim tells a story about a 4 year old getting injured at a miniature golf establishment and seeking refuge in a 1980s Taco Bell.

This week's episode is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook and a 30 day trial by going to tcgte.com/audible. Do it!

The Complete Guide to Everything

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