Most Racist Song Ever (Parody)

Tarantulas (The Tarantula Song)

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkjsPuCl0p4

LYRICS: 

This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people, which just so happens to be— my other favorite kind of people.

You know the ones that like to you know; hurt themselves bro? Skateboard ollie bro, kickflip, split their lip bro?... Kick me in the nuts, bro? You get what I’m saying, right?


White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(Bad Michael, go to your room!)

Verse 1: 

If you poke me on my arm, I bruise easily,
So I only quarterback in the Football League,

I like to watch porn, I can fap for days
And my favorite potato chips are Lays (because they’re white)

I take weird drugs like ecstasy,
Mushrooms, Crystal Meth, and LSD,

We put it in a pipe, or a homemade bong,
And watch out for the priest, he will rape your son,

And most of us will die trying out for Fear Factor,
I guess that’s why they say I’m just a country-loving, deer-hunting, rabbit-eating, redneck, inbreeding, beer-drinking, small penis…. did I mention we drive a tractor?

We're red when we’re mad, when we’re sick, we’re green,
Only race in the world that eats sardines, 

White girls, flat butts, and I know that’s mean,
But if you try to eat the booty, taste like saltines, 
(Back far away from that anus)

A white woman came to me to bash my song,
Until she realized I was black and then she…. zipped her purse?

White people, I get bullied in school, 
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, 
White People

White people, no no, we can’t dance,
And I don’t whoop my kids or spank their hands,
White people
(See this is probably why all those white kids shoot up schools)

Hold up, hold up; we can’t have a white song without any country music in it.
We all like country music, nawh-nah- no-hum-nawh
You never understand what I’m saying, nawh-nah-nawh-nah nah nahnah nannah humh NAWR.

But if you ever come to Texas…. come chill with me on my porch,
‘Cause we all got shotguns, and we all commute by horse,

We have farms, we like to mosh, We like Family GUYYY and we like Tosh!!! I guess my point here is… if you’re white, we automatically like you

White people, I get bullied in school,
I can’t wait til I’m a cop so I can bully you, White People
Hey

White people, Can’t jump that high, 
So if you tryna lose the cops, find a fence nearby
White people, 

White People
Since 76, being jerks making other races look like sh**,
White People
(Seriously, all of us are racist)

White People,
I know you can’t stand me,
But we all still evolved from a chimpanzee
White People

Alright, this is probably also the most racist song I’ve ever written, but if you laughed, you’re racist too…. So I don’t feel bad…. besides…. it’s not racist if I'm human. Get it? The human race? Ha, ha, ha, that’s how white people laugh..

Download on iTunes

The White People Song

Warning: Satire ahead. Watch the Music Video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85tr8h0BjVk

LYRICS:

Intro: Hola Jorge! Andale, andale, arriba, arriba—  I don’t even know if I said that right. Sorry, I don’t speak Mexican. Ay yo Jorge, can you hand me a burrito? Por favor?

Verse 1:

I am a Mexican, my card is greenish,
My last name is probably Gonzalez Martinez,
I’d help you mow your lawn, but me no speaky English,
That’s why my only job is selling tacos or cleaning,

I don’t drink alcohol, less it's tequila,
I hate when people say tor-tilla… bitch, it’s tortilla,
I don’t need a SUV, or an umbrella,
Why? I got a donkey and sombrero,

Because I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS 
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Verse 2:
I am a Mexican, yes, I speak Spanish,
But only when you’re around, so you can’t understand it,
Yes I like nachos, dipped in Mexican salsa,
Yo quiero Taco Bell, until they shot my chihuahua,

If you’re Latino, or latina, then you’re Mexican
If you’re from Spain or Argentina, you’re still Mexican,
If you speak any Portuguese, you’re still Mexican
And if your name is Luis, then you’re Mexican

I can dance with two maracas in my hand, hand, hand
Used to play in a mariachi band, band, band
I can fit 20 cousins up in the van, van, van
What’d you expect? I’m Mexican...

CHORUS
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we are illegal, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

Bridge:

I work as a maid for white people and it’s probably because their kids are messy,
And because they can afford me, it’s only like a penny a week but you know...


Verse 3 (rap):

Hola, homie, I’m in your garden with a machete,
The students in college hate me cause they don’t mess with them essays,
I’m a laker just like Kobe, I built my house with adobe, 
I’m teaching my black friends how to swim…. haha… because...


CHORUS:
Ohhhhhhhh ooohhhhh we swam here all the way from Puerto Rico,
And yes, we smell like burritos, oh oh
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh….

The law saw that my card wasn’t green, so I panicked!
Swam across the border at the speed of Hispanic!
Oh, mi hijo….. oh oh,
We’re just Mexican People, oh oh…
We’re Brown People

The Mexican People Song

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO HERE: https://youtu.be/GejQfZPQpKo

CHALLENGE: Grab some mouthwash, take a huge sip, and hold it in your mouth for as long as you can. Then hit Play. Comment with the minutes/seconds where you failed, or if you passed, comment with "Passed!". Share with someone who you think will fail.

No Offense

Download on iTunes!

Try Not To Laugh

WATCH THE MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpNkfaMCFqE

Satire alert. 

The Asian People Song

The Arab People Song. Watch the video on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEk7hT3wU1E&t=2s

LYRICS:

Verse 1: 
 
We don’t like tennis shoes, we wear sandals
And yeah, we have sex with goats and ride camels 
I live in a desert in Abu Dhabi,
so I squat behind a cactus when I have to potty,
Roll your tongue on the R’s, 
Whoops, dropped a bomb, Allahu Ahkbar
I play the flute and snakes come out of jars,
I caught a flight, plane didn’t get far,

And you might not believe it, man,
But during the winter, I ski in sand,
And the TSA was like “Man, how did you get out of Iraq…”--- I ran. Damn...


Chorus:

Watch out, Watch out
Rasheed's got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Abdul-Jabar got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Amir's got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Malcolm X got a bomb!

Verse 2:
I’m a billionaire, check my Equifax
Always wearing turbins and bedsheet hats
An Arabian day in the life,
See I have 10 leashes, one for each wife,
And I have 10 bombs, one for each flight,
That I put my wives on if they speak without permission,
Then “Mommy, look! There’s a plane in the airrrrr!"
(BOOM) uh, I swear it was just there...
We’re all Muslim, Salaam
And we all live in a cave, Saddam
Where we all eat lots of hummus…. yum!
My first website was the bomb dot com, UM….
 
And you might not believe it, man,
But during the winter, I ski in sand,
And the TSA was like “Man, how did you get out of Iraq…”--- “Iran” damn...

Chorus: 

Watch out, watch out
Hussein got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Ramir Asheed got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Obama got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Osama bin Laden got a bomb!

(Well, not anymore...)

Verse 3:

Don’t touch my hat, it’s sacred
I can make all my wives get naked
I have a phobia, I’m afraid of BACONNNN
You need RPG? I can make it!
We own mini-marts and gas stations,
Where people buy beer to get wasted! 
Like 9/11 Victims, I take my—

Whoa whoa whoa…. dude, no— you just don’t say that. Wasted like 9-11 Victims? Fuck no. We don’t say that shit in America. You might say that shit over in Lebanon or Afghanistan or wherever the fuck you from but in America? You can get yo ass KILT out here! Take that shit out of the lyrics, right now before I shove a cactus up yo sandy ass. Right NOW! I ain’t playing…. shit!

ARAB: I’m sorry…. I didn’t know. I’m erasing it I erased it. It’s gone sir. I’m sorry.  

Me: Throw that damn falafel in the trash and focus…. (sigh) …. cue the Gotdamn music... 

As the world waits for my plans to unfoil,
During spring, I jetski on oil,
And I’ve bombed all sorts of different places and the TSA is the most racist, they be like

CHORUS:

Watch out, Watch out
Rasheed's got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Abdul-Jabar got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Amir's got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Malcolm X got a bomb!

Watch out, watch out
Hussein got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Ramir Asheed got a bomb!
Watch out, watch out
Obama got a bomb!
Watch out, Watch out
Osama bin Laden got a bomb!

The Arab People Song

Download

JINGLE BALLS

Watch the official video HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4v3LHtfGH8

The Feminist Song (ft. Rucka Rucka Ali)

The famous Oreo Song. No bullshit the original by Shotgun willy and Yung Cracka

Tarantulas (The Tarantula Song)

Cota Bus Driver