"NOTHING EVER SEEMS 2 WORK OUT" the album
performed/written by @counterxo

NOTHING EVER SEEMS 2 WORK OUT

"matters to me" produced by @prodsoma

Performed/Written by @counterxo

matters to me

matters to me (soma)

"when we met" produced by @han2k15

Performed/Written by @counterxo

when we met (han2k15)

"just our luck" produced by @hartfxlt & @1akura

Performed/Written by @counterxo

just our luck

just our luck (hartfxlt + akura)

"you've got my soul" produced by @envy1uv
Performed/Written by @counterxo

(Lyrics)

Why can’t you see?
I always freeze when you say you love me
It’s never easy to say if I’ll leave 
Just hold my hand girl you gotta believe that
This is what it feels like 
To be lovebound
On those long summer nights 
I need you around
Only if it feels right
If you’re still down
So much love inside those eyes
Got my soul now

Cant believe this
You got my soul now
Guess I took the risk
You got my soul now
Yeah you took your pick
You got my soul now
Girl you got your wish
You got my soul now

Been waiting to say how I feel
I can see it in your eyes this is real
Been waiting to see if we’ve healed
My hearts only half of the deal

I might put a ring on it
Hold up girl I still want it
Buy matching designer in the spot so we can both flaunt it
You can take the uber there, I’ll meet you downtown
It’s getting hard to breath when you’re around
Cause my heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I’m afraid to fall

you've got my soul

you've got my soul (envy1uv)

"the words that never came out" produced by me
Performed/Written by @counterxo & @h3artch3rades

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT

the words that never came out

the words that never came out w/ h3artch3rades (counter)

"now what?" produced by @pw4prez

Performed/Written by @counterxo

now what?

now what? (sochi)

"come back at dawn" produced by @yashio20k & @neohnq

Performed/Written by @counterxo

come back at dawn (yashio + neohn)

"cost of life" produced/mixed by @benjithemachine & @gaugemountedthisone

Performed/Written by @counterxo

cost of life (benjithemachine + gauge)

"see you one last time" produced by @jun12s
Performed/Written by @counterxo

see you one last time (candle)

"downhill from here" produced by @neohnq

Performed/Written by @counterxo & @s0lemn

downhill from here w/ s0lemn (neohn)

"find out" produced by @8chzfondqkhd & @ripwarheart
performed/written by @counterxo

I SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR YOU

find out

find out (dec3m + warheart)

"deserve this" produced by @prod_acu @prodpawl4k & @azami37

Performed/Written by @counterxo

(Lyrics)
I’m so cold, alone 
I don’t feel like I have grown
The parts I hate about myself are making themselves known 
I can’t fold, I won’t
I can’t turn off the phone
When I look into the mirror it’s like all my flaws are shown  
What did I do to deserve what I’ve been through?
Need an answer, cause I put my trust in you.
Is it over for me too?
I wish I knew
Cause I don’t and I have no clue
Need an answer, cause I have to find what’s true
Is there hope for something new?

All the pain and misery
Is this what you want for me?
tried so hard to push through stress so much I had to grit my teeth
All the strain and history
Sometimes I can’t even breathe
Went too far and did my best but in the end what do I see?
Nothing at all
I came all this way just to fall
So much I could say, I just wait and rot away
Do you hear my call?

deserve this (acu + pawl4k + azami)

"no defense" produced by @spaceboyry & me
Performed/Written by @counterxo & @s0lemn

(Lyrics)

(counter)
Take my breath away,
I can’t ignore that it was us till death, remember when we swore?
It’s hurt me as you left you dropped both of our hearts to the floor, someone has to clean up
Cause the fragments of us from before 
mattered to me so I can’t afford to lose you again, It makes no sense.
I trusted you with no defense.

(s0lemn)
ion wana change ill die where im at ,
drop another pill im high where im at 
outside where u at ?
i was feelin 4 u til i got attached ,
would it evr b the same if i came back ?
wait , ion want that
nevr told u wat i wanted2 
im js sry tht i lost u .
i think ima back down . i feel like im fading 
im tellin u rn ,ik tht u h8 me
i promise 2 let go , the second u save me
im falling 2 slow , i wish i was faking .

(counter)
Sent a text and I called but I still got nothing.
I’m so confused girl my heads still buzzing.
I try to not care, but the pain keeps crushing me.
Why would you leave?
Believe in me.

no defense w/ s0lemn (spaceboyry + counter)

"if I can't cry" produced by @luckeyknows @mental & @akasukii

Performed/Written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
I used to feel pain
I used to feel alive
I used to feel like the rain hit me like some blunted knives
Nothing hits the same
There’s nowhere to confide
Say I’ve been acting strange lately, hate that you’re so right
I can’t put up a fight
I think I lost my sight
I need the tough of light
My chest is getting tight
I hollowed my own heart for this life
I’ve calcified, can I tell you that?

If I can’t cry can you please be my eyes?
I’ve numbed what’s inside need my soul to revive
There’s no hope inside my eyes 
I’m glad that you stuck right by my side
I’m too broken to tell a lie 
I pushed you away as I crystallized, cause it’s suicide
Is there another way?

Don’t think I’m a victim, I’m sorry
Cause I didn’t listen to you and it scarred me
I don’t mind being this alone cause I’ve hardly healed, but it’s fine, cause there still is a heartbeat
If I get out of this I promise not become this again
Had some feelings come around, they didn’t stick, they came and went
I gotta keep my head down, it’s so much different than back then
Like a voodoo doll the thing that’s killing me’s my only friend

if i can't cry (luckey + mental + akasuki)

"what i did wrong" produced by @1dec
Performed/Written by @counterxo

what i did wrong (dec)

"have to confess" produced by @symelz
Performed/Written by @counterxo

have to confess (symelz)

"stand out" produced by @kashik05
Performed/Written by @counterxo

(lyrics)

You play too much
But I know it’s hard to say what you mean
There ain’t no rush
Gotta play my part gotta a lot to redeem
I need your touch
Cause you’ve got my heart, with you we’re a team
Told you from the start, this is more than it seems

You got it, you locked me in
I bought it, now let’s begin
I took your hand as a gift from above
Can we have this dance? Let’s embrace this love
I swear that we’d perfect if I just changed a bit
It’s not fair but I know its still worth it cause we’re perfectly fit
Can’t bare to see you with a person that doesn’t commit
I care
You stand out from the crowd, you’re rare

Put some new vetemants on you
Yeah you know that’s the least I could do 
Fuck a price tag swipe on those shoes 
Fuck up one bag, you fuck up two
Cause you got my heart locked with the truth
In my bag got the key to yours too
We can’t lose

I was out there on the road, my life got outta control
I’m sorry that I never found the time to let you know 
But you know that i still care, you can find me anywhere 
Even when im gone i know you’re still out there

stand out (kashik)

"seen what happens" produced by @luckeyknows & @prodjayysoul

Performed/Written by @counterxo

seen what happens

seen what happens (luckey + jayysoul)

"kept our promise" produced by @adrienciel
Performed/Written by @counterxo

kept our promise

kept our promise (adrienciel)

"whatever's left" produced by @1dec
"hold it together" produced by @1dec @dimpleb & @backxster
Performed/Written by @counterxo

whatever's left / hold it together

whatever's left / hold it together (dec + dimple + backxster)

"broken key to forever" produced by @cloudbxy1
Performed/Written by @counterxo

broken key to forever

broken key to forever (cloudbxy)

"these tired eyes" produced by @shikaiii
Performed/Written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
I think I lost track 
killed all the dreams I brought
they fade to black
still focused on what’s lost, not what I have 
We’ll wonder what it costs to get that back
Everything I’m not is why this baggage hurts to drag
I need to know what’s coming next cause I’ve watched it shatter beneath my steps
I’m haulting, I’m stalling, I can’t move yet
I still feel the tension in my chest cause 
I watch as the sun falls through these tired eyes
I’ve seen it all 
There’s no goodbyes, just some more missed calls
Why do I try?

If I could go back in time
would I fix all my mistakes?
could I ever toe the line?
would the new me fold and break?
Would I ever see a sign of the version that I hate?
Even if it seems benign, I know there’s a lot at stake
Stars disappear one by one
Look in the mirror, what have I become?
I’m anxious with fear from the things that I’ve done
Can’t cry, save the tears for when I can’t run

these tired eyes (!yukik0)

"the mistakes that haunt me" produced by me
Performed/Written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
I was so wrong 
I can never listen
Trying to be strong in a battle of attrition
It’s been way too long 
Mistakes have been haunting me
I’m on the edge but just know I want peace
Everyday I wake up gasping for some air
You can’t say I gave up, you don’t know I care 
No, I can’t be saved
I just keep this faith for paths I pave
for when I clean up the mess I made

Can’t say that I didn’t try to put my name in the sky
I get too deep in my thoughts, my faults come out when I’m high
Used to be me every night, because I can’t see a light
I know I put up a fight
Still don’t know if I’m alright
So instead I fell for materialism
Instead I become a part of a system
It lead to me ditching all realism
They said that that’s all the help I could give em
I know I promised one thing I’ll never go broke
I got a taste for designer it shows
The car black and white like the cross on my clothes
I’ll pop a tag to subdue all my woes
Step into niemans mcqueen on me
New AF1s they’re as white as my teeth
Hide all my scars with a Burberry tee
Make sure my pain is so hard to see
Addiction is making it hard to leave
The pressure is making it hard to breath
I have no balance with wants and needs
Made myself a promise that’s hard to keep
But in the end what’s the use of finding out the truth?
embracing something new just to cut my old self loose?

the mistakes that haunt me (counter)

"at the end of the day" produced by @pw4prez
performed/written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
I need a moment, please
cause I can almost breathe 
It’s hard to close my eyes, how long will I go to sleep?
It’s seems like you don’t see the person I could be, and they just love to lie, they don’t have no faith in me
I let the progress talk, cause I’ve said enough
So many repressed thoughts when I get no love
but I’m still here at the end of the day
Now it’s all so clear, with my debts out the way 

Still remember what you said to me
Wasn’t even in the grave, you told me rest in peace 
Can’t believe that there were times you said you’d never leave
Honestly I can’t remember, there’s no time to grieve
I’m so over all these expectations
Borrowed hearts to build a new foundation
Can’t go on if there’s no destination
Won’t show that I care enough so I’ll say this
I don’t wanna start again
can’t look at us like friends
Told myself enough, I can’t suffer till the bitter end
I know it’s been rough, where it goes from here, it all depends
No this can’t be love, if it was I don’t know where it went
Look up to the stars all I see is you 
I had to go far to redeem the truth
I know what we are is too much to lose
What matters most is for us to choose
live large, automatic push start
You know that it’s hard to feel with a torn heart
Have to raise the bar, conceal all the bad parts 
you know what we are, even if we drift apart

at the end of the day (sochi)

"nothing ever seems to work out" produced by me & @hrtshpdbd
performed/written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
Am I a shadow of the person that I was before I let go?
My heart is shallow
It got worse when I lost trust and the facade broke
Now my eyes only open for you
I’m alright, but I don’t have much more to lose
I’m broken beyond repair
I’ve tried so hard, now I just don’t care
I wake up and gasp for air
What could’ve been in my worst nightmares?
I know that life is pain and acceptance
Nothing’s right and there’s nothing for reference
I had to spend those days alone 
I’m glad it went that way, I’ve grown
I should have known 
Now I look and I’m way too far from home

I need to give myself time to find myself again
get back to my bassline cause I remember when I never had a day that I’d regret 
I feel like I’ve played every single card in my deck
Lately I’ve been off one
Took no breaks saw no sun
Haven’t given myself any time to feel emotions
Look at what the pain’s done
Look at what I’ve become
Haven’t lived my life because I haven’t had a reason
so if I fall too far will it even hurt?
I’ve been thinking I need help but can’t release the words 
You can ask me about hell when you’ve been through it first
I felt sick and so unwell I had to break the curse
Tryna get my life back, get back on the right track
Nothing ever seems to work out, it’s just like that 
Everything that I lack, every day that I pass
Nothing ever seems to work out, it’s just like that

Finally opened my eyes to this life that I’m living 
I always despised fitting in a description
I’ve felt low, tears I’ve cried
I’ve swallowed all my pride to make sure I follow the path that just feels right
went through the pain and despair just to see light
Life’s not the same when you care and you still fight 
Pushed out of frame, it’s unfair, but that’s just life
dance in the rain, clouds will tear for the sunlight 
let me hold your hand before you leave
cancel plans just so we can breath
Life is a mess, life does you dirty
Prey for the best, know it can hurt me
Weight on my chest, I’ll dispose of it early
Still know I’m blessed
I’ll make use of it, surely

nothing ever seems to work out (counter / heartshapedbed)

"into pieces" produced by @y4ndere
performed/written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
Do you feel any different towards me?
Haven’t healed the torment before me
don’t know where the time went
no glow when the love’s spent
Don’t know if the pain is permanent
I said that
no one else compares to you, I’m sorry but it’s true
You’ve been through hell and I have too 
we hardly think things through 
It’s breaking me down
I’m in pieces
Should I turn things around or just leave it?
I’ll lay on the ground barely breathin cause I already drown when I’m dreamin

Haven’t left yet, do we still have time to see everything we could be
couldn’t fall behind, I’ll reach for your hand 
cause you’d reach for mine 
I’m turning the page, I’ve seen all the signs
Remember the days, I remember those times
have to look to the future who knows what we’ll find
We’re both scared but I’m sure we should leave that behind
yeah, it would be nice though
it’s hard to decide so quickly
I’m enticed so you’re free to confide in me see that the light shows
you can’t live your life this strictly and we both know everytime you cry it sticks with me

into pieces (yandere)

"time won't let me go" produced by @prodarisu
performed/written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
Spent this whole time
going backwards
On a thin line making that worse
Wishing I could rewind cause the past hurts
Can you free my heart from this glass curse?
I need honesty cause the lies just reflect how you treat me
if you can promise, please
I would die for this trust just don’t ever leave
by the skin of my teeth, it’s work but I’ll get there
I begin to believe, it’s worse going nowhere 
I know that time won’t let me go
I’ll carry my hope to get back on that road back home

I remember feeling lost all the time, everything was on the line
Want to fix all of your problems now instead of fixing mine
I was gone out my mind, searching for what I can’t find
I just wish I could back to the things I left
behind
I broke myself in half to get back who I was
I spoke of dreams I had but couldn’t ever touch
I wrote about but wasn’t ever really there
No emotions on my face, can’t reveal that I cared 
not fair 
and that’s why…

time won't let me go (arisu)

"closing the door" produced by @13371312 & @shikaiii
performed/written by @counterxo & @6cainhearts

(lyrics)
bedbound
I cant put the phone down 
I’ve done what I can with no help I’m still above ground
Sorry if im not around
Ashes, nothing more found
I still kept my hand up in case you’d grab it if I drown
but said you’ll leave just go
It’s a simple yes or no
Thought I’ve told you this already, no emotions left to show
Did it hurt to see me low?
Was it worse to let us grow?
I can’t hold you, it upsets me our communication broke
started closing the door
when I just opened it for us
What am I still trying for?
All that you’ve done is ignored us
Feels like my heart has been sore, I never felt this before us
thought that I wanted this more, I miss what we were before

(counter)
No strings attached 
Why aren’t we a perfect match?
Didn’t notice perfect pictures always seem have a catch
Every scar and every scratch
Every vacant dream I have
Everytime I get those memories I think about lol your laugh
Tell me that you’re okay
Even if you can’t stay
Even though I’m here, I’m in a different headspace
Even if it’s clear my anxiety won’t make way
Just know it’s sincere when I say no one replaces you 

(cainhearts)
cant brush a hit
as the ship goes down, ima take it on
every day i have 
don’t care bout this pain, I’ll kick it down
kick down the door
and be the life in your lungs
mdma course through my veins and it’s so on
won’t repeat but can’t erase my mistakes
till next dawn
yea, dollar for your last thoughts
this time together enough? 
enough.

closing the door w/ cainhearts (bonka + !yukik0)

"need to heal" produced by me
performed/written by @counterxo & @s0lemn

(lyrics)
Been in so much pain, lately it’s a trend for me
watching as the rain pours down, will it end shortly?
terrified of change, I can’t ever get that back again 
It hurts to admit what a mess I’ve been
I can’t pretend the attachment’s way too real
but sometimes there’s things I need to feel
Sometimes there’s wounds I need to heal

(s0lemn)
I’m breaking down for real
I’ll dose another pill
I just need to chill, I don’t even know what’s real
Girl you know the deal
Took my dope, feeling ill
I don’t feel the same as you
High as fuck, barely move
Bae I’m on another planet, yeah I still think of you
Pain inside my eyes, keep them shut; suicide
Yeah I’d rather die if you’re not fuckin mine

(counter)
There’s no pain behind my eyes anymore it’s just emptiness
held onto to things that killed me at my core cause of pettiness
I have make it through, can’t ignore it and I’m ready let’s go it’s a long way up
yeah, it’s a deadly test

need to heal w/ s0lemn (counter)

"you don't love yourself" produced by @violetxx9
performed/written by @counterxo

(lyrics)
Even if I try, I’ve still let days and days pass by
It’s a price to pay for mistakes I’ve made
that I’ve learned from and that why I’m still hanging on by a thread 
You are my strength so I give my best
It took so long to rest and get self hatred off my chest
In this bed I sleep on the tears I’ve shed
It’s the truth
and she said 
you don’t love yourself like I love

(I need to have to you around, I’m so scared of falling back down)

My own thoughts eat me alive 
Dreams I bought just to get by
Pain I brought, but I’m alright 
Spread my wings so I can fly

counter

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