discord : apocote
there is no way out im dead, no empathy no feelings no nothing anymore, im 16 ive been alone for a whole year ive lost people i loved ive lost everything i quit everything i dont even know why im still making music im tired of acting like im doing good when im not. All i wanted was to cry in somebody’s arms for so long and when it finally happened i didnt cry, it disgusted me i pushed them away and went back into my dark basement. There was this woman that cared about me who treated me like her child we had alot of fun together even tho i knew she was doing bad. One night before leaving to her house she looked at me and i hugged her, it was genuine, she looked at me and cried then left saying « see you tomorrow », tomorrow be damned, there was no tomorrow, she died. I didnt cry for her or wasnt sad for her and its whats destroying me, i didnt help her i let her die and i was passive the whole way i dont know if i even feel bad anymore. All i remember was her laugh her smile and her face when happy of being with me. I lost all my feelings im so passive that idc bout anything thats why im writing this here because who cares? Im tired of pretending im good because im not, been a whole year and it felt like 10. My first song was called Suicide, well its for a reason. I never asked for help and im not asking for help, i never talked to anybody about my situation until recently until it was too late, i almost offed myself the 3 november of 2025 my mom saw me and since then ive never felt so much anxiety and stress around me, my family is gone everything is gone to me i dont even wanna die anymore but just vanish, im waiting for something to happen to me i dont wanna make it through i dont wanna get helped i dont wanna survive, im just waiting till something happens to me. I dont wanna work, i dont go to school anymore, i dont wanna live, i dont wanna die neither but i just dont wanna be. I wish i was special. Ive already worked in my life and i dont wanna work anymore not again, i hate school i hate working i hate everything, i forgot how to talk to people i lost alot of human things. I loved making music and i might still post music although ill be more than inconsistent. I know my music isnt that good but who cares im not made for it what can i do. I hope yall are doing good in your lives though. Bye!

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