Here is a megamix, featuring clips from dozens of crazy Christian radio programs that all aired in Dallas during the 90's-00's. I basically took an unused musical bed I had recorded for a song that I never got around to recording vocals for, and took snippets from my personal collection of bad Christian radio shows I've taped on cassette, and made a hip dance mix so you can be saved while you rave! Features Bob Larson, Reverend Lester, and a slew of others

Bible Study Time (Dance Mix)

This is swiped from a cassette that was left in an old answering machine that my ex-girlfriend gave me. It belonged to her aunt, and when I took it home, I listened to the message tape, and had the pleasure of hearing a message her aunt's son had left for her.. angry, bitter, hilarious!

Angry Son Leaves Bitter Answering Machine Message (Found Sound)

Here is a live performance by local Dallas cable access Roye'L, singing his famous song "I Found A Girl," live on a public access talent showcase ("Rapping With The Fairy").. I posted the video on our Youtube channel a few years ago (along with other Roye'l performances) and he became an instant internet celebrity because of this song, and gained alot of fans. Here is the audio, cleaned up & remastered

Roye'L - I Found A Girl (Live)(Public Access TV Performance)

Here's an ultra rare studio dance mix/remake of the Roye'L classic "I Found A Girl".. Roye'L used to perform on a local Dallas cable access talent showcase in the mid 90's.. Not sure whatever happened to him, but when I posted his performances on Youtube, the videos gained a zillion hits (mostly on our former channel which was shut down) and ppl even started Roye'l Facebook fan pages. Here is a fresh version of "I Found A Girl"

Roye'L - I Found A Girl (Dance Mix)

Here is a live performance of "Proud To Be An American" by a 9 year-old Tyler Bubsy that aired on a local Dallas cable access show "Joyful Praise".. this was recorded shortly after the World Trade Center attacks.. anyway, the performance was forgotten a week after it aired, but when I posted it on Youtube 7 years after it aired, it spread like wildfire online. Some say it's tacky, some say it's charming. But here's the audio, cleaned up and remastered

Tyler Bubsy - Proud To Be An American(Public Access TV Performance)

Back in the late 80's, Codemasters released a video game entitled "Treasure Island Dizzy" which was hard as hell to figure out. There was no life bar, no direction, and you could only hold three objects at once. The game was first released on Commodore/Amiga in the UK, then ported to the US for the NES.. anyway, kids were so confused by the game, Codemasteres set up a special telephone help line for kids, to help them get through the game. Here is a portion of what you'd hear when you'd call the line

Treasure Island Dizzy (Video Game Telephone Helpline)

"New Zoo Revue" was a kids show that ran from 1972-1977 in syndication. It featured Doug (tacky glasses and mustache), his girlfriend Emmy Jo, and three oversized animals.. each episode featured a lesson, and this song is taken from the "Reproduction" episode, where the miracle of childbirth is revealed. This song has become a classic, tacky production, pompous lyrics.. and we're proud to share it with you

New Zoo Revue - "The Miracle Of Birth" (VHS Swipe)

I used to listen to Bob Larson's old radio show "Talkback Live" all the time. It was always fun to hear Bob rant about politics, hawk his latest video tapes, and exorsize demons over the telephone. But on one rainy afternoon, Bob interviewed the leader of s Satanic group and I happened to be recording the broadcast. This used to be posted on my Youtube channel until Youtube pulled it (and someone else stole the vid, posted it on their channel, and it's still there, complete with my graphics/write up).. But here's the full interview (or as much as I was able to tape)

Bob Larson Interviews Jailbait Satanist (1996 Radio Swipe)

I found this ages ago on DC++, which was an old file sharing program, mainly used in the UK and other foreign countries. Basically, a kid took his tape recorder, played "And God Greated Woman" by Prince & The NPG (from the 1992 "Love Symbol" album) and made up a song parody about a girl he apparently has disdain for named Boni.. and here's the result!

Funky Temple - "And God Created Boni" (DC++ Found Sound)

This is swiped from an old kids show "Swamp Critters" (video is posted on our Youtube channel).. On this episode, the town held a talent show, and a lovely group of female bunnies performed a sweet song called "Lost Lagoon" which wowed the crowd, and later, the internet meme kids. Here it is, cleaned up audio

Bonnie & The Bunnies - Lost Lagoon

Here is Ernie the puppet, singing an awful song about the letter "M," swiped from an obscure VHS-only kids video series entitled "Peppermint Park"..

"Peppermint Park" was a series of VHS tapes meant for kids, featuring terrible puppets, awful songs, boring arts & crafts, and other bizarre oddities.. the intent was to create a "Sesame Street" knock off for the children's video market, and after 5 of 6 volumes, the concept failed, and was destined to wind up in bargain bins everywhere.. 

I found this in the bargain bin at "Movie Trading Co," took it home, watched it with my girlfriend at the time, and was blown away at how awful it was.. the puppet, the song, the lyrics.. CRINGE! So I finally posted it on Youtube, and it spread like hotcakes. A zillion ripoff/tribute videos popped up making fun of the puppet/song (rightfully so!). So here is the infamous "Letter M" song with cleaned up audio

Peppermint Park - "Letter M" (VHS Rip)

Here is Wolf "William" Johnson, belting out a two classic classic soul tunes on a local Dallas cable access talent showcase (after ditching his group "Pure Elegance")

Wolf Johnson - "Raining In Georgia" & "Can't Get Enough"(Public Access TV Performance)

Here is an infamous stand up routine that has become legend in the DFW underground scene. It's swiped from an old Dallas cable access show "The Charly Show" hosted by a guy named Rob McFarland. He wanted to host his very own late night comedy talk show like his hero David Letterman.. This is from his first show, which was filled with awkward pauses, jittery laughter, equipment failure.. Here's a brief, but epic clip from his opening monologue!

Charly Show - Empty Condom Machine (Public Access TV Swipe)

Classic (awful) performance swiped from a Dallas local talent showcase, aired on public access... here, we see a local artist (Snaggle Jay) belting out a cover of H-Town's "Back Seat (With No Sheets)".. knockin' shit up like he was Tony M.... (Godfather III meets Barbarella!)

You can tell he doesn't know the lyrics, so he just slurs, ad libs, mumbles, and makes up lyrics on the spot (the real lyrics are "she's so fine, she's so dope.. she got body like fame got Bob Hope" but he totally fucks it up)

Snaggle Jay - "Back Seat (With No Sheets)"(Public Access TV Performance)

This was snagged from the amazing "Sweet Thunder" website. It's from a found cassette purchased at a local thrift shop, featuring an annoying boy singing a rap song he obviously wrote himself about two aliens he'd encountered (Toe Jam & Earl, from the classic Sega Genesis game) 

Obnoxious Boy Raps - Toe Jam & Earl Rap(1992 Found Sound)

Here's a song from the amazing "Smurfs Party Time" album released in 1983, sold through mail order commercials that aired on television.. A bizarre tune about Mr. Pigeon, complete with sped up vocals, Swedish accents, eerie harmonies.. I listened to this a zillion times as a kid (the sound is poor because my record is scratched to hell) and was very influential for me, and hope you enjoy it as well

Smurfs Party Time - Mr Pigeon (Vinyl Rip 1983)

Back in 1994, a video game entitled "Alfred Chicken" was released in America for the NES, Super Nintendo, and Gameboy. To promote the game, Mindscape took out ads in the popular video game magazines (EGM, Gamepro, etc) and towards the bottom of the ad, text read "For an Alfred message, call 1-800-ALFREDC".. well, as a curious 13 year-old, I did, and here's one of the messages kids would hear when they'd call (the messages changed weekly, this is the only one I recorded)

Alfred Chicken (Nintendo Phone Message 1994)

Here's another song from the amazing "Smurfs Party Time" album released in 1983, sold through mail order commercials that aired on television.. A bizarre tune about a purple man named Peter, who flew to Smurfland from Mars.. I listened to this a zillion times as a kid (the sound is poor because my record is scratched to hell) and was very influential for me, and hope you enjoy it as well

Smurfs Party Time - "Purple Peter From Mars" (1983 Vinyl Rip)

Swiped from a beat up 45 single by "Sammy Hill" found at Goodwill thrift shop

Sammy Hill - "If You're Happy (Notify Your Face)" (45 Vinyl Rip)

Swiped from a beat up record by Zion entitled "He Came Down To My Level" found at a thrift shop.. This is a regional record, pressed in Grand Prairie (the sleave was missing) so it looks like it was pressed by their church. Here is one of the better (?) tracks

Zion - "I'm Yours, Lord"(Vinyl Rip)

Swiped from the 1983 kids album "Smurfs Party Time"

Smurfs Party Time - "Lazy Smurf"(1983 Vinyl Rip)

Here is an rare, out-of-print track by famed alien puppet ALF.. In 1988, "Burger King" decided to cash in on the ALF phenomena by selling ALF puppets. There were 4; Beach ALF, Chef ALF, Baseball ALF, and Rocker ALF.. Each puppet came with a paper vinyl record with ALF singing an original song that pertained to whatever outfit he was wearing. This song came from the "Rocker ALF" set, with ALF belting out the hit smash classic "Melmac Rock"

ALF - "Melmac Rock" (1988 "Burger King" Vinyl Rip)

Campy track from the out of print kiddie album "The Fun Songs Of Shamu And His Crew," released in 1982.. This song is entitled "Don't Clam Up" 

Shamu And His Crew - "Don't Clam Up" (1982 Vinyl Rip)

From a 1985 radio broadcast of the Christian program "Focus On The Family," Dr. Dobson & Susan Baker discuss the evils of rock music (Metallica, Prince & Sheena Easton!) and how sexual/violent lyrics can destroy children's lives forever

The Evils Of Rock Lyrics (Christian Radio - 1985)

Here is a rare track by the "Moo Beams".. They were a group of cows singing 50's style greaser tunes to children about health.. They'd perform at shopping malls, county fairs, etc.. The creators of the "Moo Beams" had high hopes for the project.. There was an animated series planned, a doll line, t-shirts.. But for whatever reason, the project was dead by 2006.. but the memories remain!!

Here is a link to the long-dead "Moo Beams" website via the Internet Archive, that shows the plans that sadly never came to pass;

https://web.archive.org/web/20061026233543/http://www.loveshine.com/detail.asp?id=33&cat=6&more=true#more

The Moo Beams - "Moo York City"

Here is a track that was featured in the 1985 film "Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer"

Rainbow Brite & The Color Kids - "Rainbow Brite & Me" (1985 Vinyl Rip)

Back in 1994,  I was a 13 year-old cynic that would often record bizarre things off the radio & then mix them into comedy cassettes to entertain my friends. Well, every Sunday, late at night at midnight, this radio program featuring an angry, bitter Christian named Lester. His program was broadcast on a faint AM radio station. I lived in Dallas, but the signal was so faint, the station must have been far away from the DFW area. So, each show would feature Lester talking about current events (from a place which sounded like a basement).. Lester would rant, rave, and carry on slamming liberals, the Clinton administration, gays, blacks, and other groups he felt were "Satanic," or destroying the Christian fabric of our nation.. After bitterly bellowing for a half hour, Lester would end his program with a heartwarming message, and then belt out an off-key Psalm while playing an out-of-tune thrift shop organ..

So here are some excerpts from the legendary "Reverend Lester" program. I don't know his last name, I don't know what station this was broadcast on, or where the show originated. If ANYONE knows who this guy is/was, please let me know, thanks!!

The Best Of Reverend Lester - Angry Christian Pastor(1994 Radio Rip)

Fantastic gem by a random teenage girl singing along to "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas.. This piece of gold was found by R. Stevie Moore in a box of cassettes which were traded in to a New Jersey Sam Goody's outlet for new tapes.. Magic! This has made the rounds online, but I've cleaned it up for your amusement. Enjoy!

Random Teenage Girl - "Carry On My Wayward Son" (Found Cassette Rip)

Here is a bizarre clip from Bob Larson's old radio show "Talk Back Live" where Bob accuses Bill Clinton of being the "Antichrist".. This baffling rant was taken from an episode that aired in 1996 during the election season.. At the time, I just happened to be recording the show & fell off my chair laughing my ass off (not really, I was lying down when I heard it, but that doesn't matter..) Full of homophobia and misguided politics, this rant is a classic & I'm happy to share it with you! :)

For those who don't know Bob, he was a very popular Christian author/radio/television host who'd fill up huge churches in the 90's, and would often perform exorcisms on random (ha!) audience members who were possessed by demonic spirits. After a series of financial scandals, the radio audience dwindled and the show was cancelled. Bob did rebound with a tv series on the Sci-Fi channel ("The Real Exorcist") and is still performing all over the country.

I've actually met him in person a few times, and he was a charming likable guy. But this rant is really over the top.. Bill Clinton.. The Antichrist?! Hmm.....

Read more about Bob here; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Larson

Bob Larson - "Bill Clinton Is The Antichrist!" (1996 Radio Rip)

This is swiped from a found cassette that I snagged at Goodwill back in 2001 in Dallas. The cassette looked blank, but it was actually a tape of poorly recorded, muffled piano music. The real gold was the spoken intro, which I'm posting here. Apparently, this was to be a demo tape that he sent out to gain label interest. I wonder if he ever made it... I don't know who this man is, his name, so if anyone has details, please drop a line.. Enjoy!

Random Old Man - "Hope You Enjoy This Tape" (Found Cassette Rip)

This is an audio companion to our Youtube channel, featuring found sound, bizarre audio clips, found songs, and assorted CRINGE-related materials... For questions or comments, please email aronorion@gmail.com
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