self-prod

Praying that it's temporary, 
I don't want obituary, 
But this life is hella scary, 
I been cold since february. 
Can't you see im hailing Mary?
I don't want this shit to tear me, 
I been hanging on but barely, 
I don't see this life too fairly. 
Uh, 
I had to grow up,
Without a damn figure. 
Yeah we look good, 
But that shit is a picture, 
Real life is different, 
You'd know if you lived her. 
I'm hanging on by the skin of my blister. 
The cysts are not worth it, 
Wondering how I deserve it, 
I was just born to curse and, 
I'm only a person. 
This shit just like Donda to me, 
There was no father to me. 
And no he ain't dead, 
But he act like it something to be. 
If I had the courage, 
I'd smack him so hard that he's losing his teeth, 
But it wouldn't be worth it he's already hurting, 
And he can't afford surgery. 

If I had to spit on this shit everyday of the week, 
Then I know that I'd do it. 
I always feel useless like ripping the tulips, 
Inside of a garden when I knew I grew it. 
But I keep it moving like something is proving, 
When it's time consuming I'm fearing the doom of the fact that I knew it I'm clueless and the bruise is excusing the things that I'm doing. 
The things that I'm doing. 

But shit I'm still back, 
I cannot relax, 
Making three albums, 
A month and it's sad. 
It never works, 
And it only gets worse, 
And I'm fixing the mixing, 
It ruins the verse. 
Look at my past, 
And just like my dad, 
I'll never change it, 
I'm feeling too bad. 
Stuck in the dirt, 
I'm ignoring your words, 
And I cover my ears, 
Cause the things that I heard. 
I gotta go now, 
I cannot slow down. 
No time for thinking, 
I work way too much, 
Just to put it on soundcloud. 
Live like a ghost town, 
Alone with a whole crowd. 
I'm never lonely, 
But all on my only, 
I swear that I'm locked out. 

Is this what you wanted, 
I keep it a hunnid, 
The truth is I'm nothing, 
But wannabe something, 
But I end up running, 
Off cliff and I'm jumping, 
To hell without thinking, 
I feel like I'm cutting,
Off all of my socials, 
People I'm close to, 
I don't want loneliness, 
I wanna hold you, 
But look I just told you, 
All that I wrote you, 
Is deeper than love, 
It's the person I mold to.

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