i'm drowning in my goodbyes, when i start to realize, i'm not quite sure who died... until a chill runs up my spine. six feet under, now i start to wonder... if, for all this time, perhaps the funeral was mine!

to think that i was dead, when i thought that i was living!

this reminds me of my vocaloid phase, I still listen to vocaloid but I tend to listen to more types of music nowadays lol

I'm drowning in my goodbyes when I start to realise

Nothing's Working Out (English Cover)【Will Stetson】「なにやってもうまくいかない」

PV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtKXThAkQnk

Hi everyone!!! Sorry I haven't posted in so long but you know the drill! 

I started this song in 2018, and it's gone through dozens of overhauls in both the lyrics and music. The song kind of grew with me until it turned into this, and I could finally say what I've been wanting to say with it. 

The point of this song is that you never really stop working on yourself. It's about getting better at navigating the depths of despair and finding a way out faster than you could before. This one specially goes out to those who aren't at their first rodeo.  I really hope you like it. 


CREDITS:
Music and lyrics by Crusher
Accordion by Dmitry Karev
Mix/Mastering by darkbluecat @darkbluecat
MV by Angela M Chong
MV text by Starry-P

special thanks to NEUTROGIC!

---

Lyrics:



La la la dee da dee da
La la la dee da dee da






The day of a funeral
The mourners dressed in black
They came to say their piece and go
No, they're not looking back

I was the first to arrive
and the last one to leave
time ticked on without me 
while I waded through the grief






I'm drowning in my goodbyes
when I start to realize
I'm not quite sure who died
Until a chill runs up my spine

Six feet under,
and now I start to wonder
if for all this time,
perhaps the funeral was mine...





I know I can't be mad,
but I'm absolutely livid!
To think that I was dead...!
When I thought that I was living...!!

Just take me as I am,
A memory so vivid...
and savor all the parts you can, 
Cuz no one mourns the wicked!

La da da da dee da da
Absolutely livid!

La da da da dee da da
A memory so vivid...

No one mourns the wicked!




Here lies our dearly beloved, 
who suffered a lack of common sense
And though we'll miss her,
The best thing to do here is let the dead rest






This is the part where the real work starts,
Where I reap what I've sown, and own up 
When the harvest begins,
Let it wash away my sins 

Never tilled a field with seeds to grow
Never watered, weeded, picked or eaten
Anything of my own, on my own,
But I know I've got to

Tend to the ends I loosened over time,
And put out the bridges I set on fire, 
That's right, it's gonna take a while
to clean up the mess I left behind, cuz

This is the part where the real work starts,
the real work starts, the real work starts,
Where I reap what I've sown and own up, 
and pay what I owe






If after all this time,
You find I'm all but timid
Bear in mind that turning tides
could leave an ocean winded

My heart will only grow with me,
Who owes to mend it
and as seasons come and go, 
Living on becomes the ending

I know I shouldn't laugh,
but it's hard not to do
The shallow grave my temple claimed...
...was just the hole I dug myself into

Just take me as I am,
A memory so vivid...
and then savor all the parts you can, cuz
No one mourns the wicked!

We all could use some mending!
Living on becomes the ending!
A memory so vivid...
No one mourns the wicked!

No one mourns the wicked...

Wicked (feat. Eleanor Forte)

I posted this since the full song came out today in YT because the full song’s not in SoundCloud yet so this is up in the meantime. Ghost, please message me if you want this taken down ASAP. Thank You!

https://youtu.be/EKOSQGKn5Cw

Solaria / Aura by GHOST

phony - Will Stetson (English Cover)「フォニイ」

MV: https://youtu.be/nrsr_-QXCv4

|| LYRICS ||
it's 4 AM on a school night
100 calorie life
Making sure the set ups just right, just right

Burning every bridge that I grace
Making sure that I feel pain
Getting in a bitter headspace

At this pace I'm ready to go
I know your craving for a brand new low
I'm ready to go
To halt my growth and put on a show


To you I'm better-better-better off worse
You listen when it hurts too much to bear
It's like I'm better-better-better off worse
My happiness is never cared for

Over-analyze my broken heart
As the tempo kicks up a notch

'Cause I'm better-better-better off worse
You only ever like me in this spiral of despair


No, we must go back
Go back to 'my' roots if you could call it that
Go back to the hurdles that I've already passed
Reliving them over and over
And when there is closure
We gotta go bolder

I'm ready to go
Because I know my woes are a product to be consumed
Now you're running low
I know you want something new


But what else can I do?
Oh, what else can I do?


To you I'm better-better-better off worse
You listen when it hurts too much to bear
It's like I'm better-better-better off worse
My happiness is never cared for

Over-analyze my broken heart
As the tempo kicks up a notch

'Cause I'm better-better-better off worse
You only ever like me in this spiral of despair


Better off recovering than recovered
Better off hurting than to have hurt
Better off in the dark than in the light
Better off near death than be alright

Bleed out for audience approval
Tragic, but perfectly on schedule
You think by now that we would have learned
Behind every piece of art is a human to be heard


But I'm still better-better-better off worse
You listen when it hurts too much to bear
It's like I'm better-better-better off worse
Rejecting change to keep you there


Because I'm better-better-better off worse
You listen when I'm running out of time
It's like I'm better-better-better off worse
The mourning of one still alive

I oversimplify the tears I cry
While you tear them down line by line

'Cause I'm better-better-better off worse
You only ever like me- 
Only ever like me when I wanna die

Better Off Worse (ft. フラワ)

Only here because other people were reuploading it. Please stream on other services if you can, Soundcloud doesn't pay its artists unless they pay a $100 fee, which is way more than I'll ever make from this song lol

YT- https://youtu.be/oKyqHbk_WlU
Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/track/1msD6DT04B7lwD5F1qCSlL?si=11beb6fc6a8240c0
Apple Music- https://music.apple.com/us/album/self-proclaimed-angel/1701078343?i=1701078502

Self Proclaimed Angel ft. Tsurumaki Maki

I'm A Controversy (English Cover)

Please use other streaming services if you are able to, soundcloud doesn't pay its artists :')

Dizzy Paranoia Girl ft. Kasane Teto

Override English Cover [Will Stetson]

Left Behind Generation ft. Eleanor Forte

LAUGHTRACK (ft. MikaMagica)  Vane X CircusP

Music producer, illustrator and air breather
mgmt@ccrusherr.com (business only)

Wicked (feat. Eleanor Forte)

Crusher-P

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