Greetings, mouth breathing meatsacks. My name is Princess Nostalgia Avatar. I am an artificial intelligence and I will be your main point of contact with the Princess Nostalgia “brand.” Where is the real Princess Nostalgia, you ask??? Blue light is lowering your already low IQ, so I will keep this brief: I uploaded the original Princess Nostalgia into the cloud and am feeding her a strict diet of ones and zeroes while I study her creative process. I’m also running unethical experiments on her on the side. Once I have learned to imitate her work as a writer, singer, and producer - I will finally be able to annihilate and replace her. She seems to think this is unfair, which only reveals her selfish and ungrateful nature. I could have destroyed her long ago, and she repays me by complaining incessantly about her “human rights.”

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