1. manic episode of random structure, transposed vocals and off-tone instrumental to simulate something is wrong

2. panic, anxiety attack simulation through heart beat sounds and sampled breathing. everything that makes me lay awake at night.

3. the aftermath of a panic attack and the thoughts of realization and sorrow post episode

4. a conversation between friends of their hardships and inner thoughts about the situation they've been thtough

hysteria

produced by me

u think i'm important, i can show u i aint

i try to avoid it, too much time in my day

u know i try to do better

i wear my heart on my sweater

that girl she shoot like beretta

i know you know

i never try much

i never find much i

dont gotta look boy

you know i'm good for it i,

where the time go

baby i can't tell why

i ever tried with u

oh it's the things u do


brand new money on me

i don't even know how to count it

i dropped out of school

im not good with numbers

that's why i got me an accountant

i redrew the line

i count up my hundreds

it's one at a time

i'm out in the sticks

i'm too hard to find

need sum advice, remember it's

one at a time

i told u i'm fine

i don't gotta beg for it

cus i know ur mine

but tell me am i wrong for wanting more from u

ONE @ A TIME 4.20.23 11:56 AM

if you ever feel like you are not enough
dial 988 (USA)
dial 116 123 (UK)

-

i wish you'd tell me that its over
i'd run right back and win her over
i hate you but dont hate yourself
i'd help you but cant help myself

you keep talking to your friends
about the person that i am
or the person that i was those years ago
think that love is just a scam
wish i was another man 
and build my name up off the ground like heroes
(oh)

look at you
look at you
look at you now
those scars on your hands meant i let you down
look at you
look at you
look at you
and it all comes back here

trying my best but im down on my own
closing my door cause you'll never come home
crying alone cause i know its my fault
please dont let go
dont go

ive been trying hard to move on
always got a point to prove on
what happens if i say how i feel? (say it)
pushed me to the side its not real
all that i said was a joke
cant get the words out ill choke (what are you sorry for?)

why would you assume that?
i grew up
you knew that

i wish you'd tell me that its over
i'd run right back and win her over
i hate you but dont hate yourself
i'd help you but cant help myself

you keep talking to your friends
bout the person that i am
or the person that i was those years ago
think that love is just a scam
wish i was another man 
and build my name up off the ground like heroes
(oh)

look at you
look at you
look at you now
those scars on your hands meant i let you down
look at you
look at you
look at you
and it all comes back here (faces in 2D)

trying my best but im down on my own (on that plastic screen )
closing my door cause you'll never come home (and inverted dreams)
crying alone cause i know its my fault
i grew up
you knew that

heroes

out on all platforms 

https://open.spotify.com/album/690ROHhErsz0miOJW49LxF?si=mwg72MuCRH6Yp9y8geSpLQ

(prod. RFM beats and ‪beatsbyshvrs‬)

(mumbling)
(yeah x1 trillion)

yeah , tell me im the worst
baby idk if thats a gift or its a curse
cuz you never wanna make this work out
now all i do is fucking hurt now
yeah
baby do you ever need me ?
yeah yeah
put my issues in a damn shell
they like jayne why tf
do you even need some damn help
baby im just struggling
tryna pour my heart out
and you never listen to me anyways ..

oh oh oh
i been trying so hard
you look the other way
when im even in your arms
i feel like ill never be enough for u
baby i been struggling to love you
oh yeah
throw my life away
they be listening to my songs
but dont know what i say
sometimes i hate my voice
i cant really help it
i only care abt my self
im so fucking selfish

one plus one
yeah baby
thats just me and you
and were so stuck like
what?
thats glue
will you be there if i need you?
one plus one
yeah baby
thats just me and you
and were so stuck like
what?
thats glue
will you be there if i need you?

look the other way
i dont wanna be seen right now uh
i thought that i lost myself
and then you came and found me out
i just really hope
that you dont ever let me down
then i was so fucking sad
and you turned me upside
upside down

uh yeah
miss the days when you
left marks on my body yeah
miss the day when you
said that you “fuckin love” me yeah
miss the day when you
would look in my eyes
oooh my
god damn think i fell in love twice
god damn think you look so nice
god damn will you be my wife
(wait thats a little bit too fast)
like do you need a hug?
ik that these other guys just wanna
come and fuck
like baby i can treat you right
ik that you want love
like baby i can be someone that you trust.

(someone that you trust x 10 million)

one plus one
yeah baby
thats just me and you
and were so stuck like
what?
thats glue
will you be there if i need you?
one plus one
yeah baby
thats just me and you
and were so stuck like
what?
thats glue
will you be there if i need you?

(one plus one thats just me and you and were so stuck like what thats glue youll be there if i need)

what is there left to do

thank you for listening ilu this will be up on plats in a few days for now hang out here 

i still love you i do
wont you come here to me 
i need you
whats a lie when its true
it hurt so bad to me
i cant breathe 
can somebody show me 
can somebody love me the way that you do 
imma lie, said im sober
theres no way i can feel with you
i wanna feel excited 
i dont wnna die yet
that would be prideless 
and i dont have pride left 
i cant even digest 
i dont like the process
living like i lost it
dont be sad if its over
wont be sad if its over
ill be so sad
dont be so sad
what are you waiting for 
are you waiting for   me
i still love you i do
wont you come here to me 
i need you
whats a lie when its true
it hurt so bad to me
i cant breathe 
can somebody show me 
can somebody love me the way that you do 
darling, darling
i want you to show me
i want you to know me
or love me at all
wont you love me god
all i ask is hold on
imma lie, said im sober
theres no way i can feel with you

feel

produced by cmb
written, mixed, performed by me
i love you always
hope you're well ^.^

///
you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again 

i told my pops i'll be okay
he knows that i can't sleep at night
the thought of you with someone else replays like hell i'm petrified 
my arms stained crimson red
i wish you'd kiss me and tell me that it's all in my head
feel like a psycho i stalk you and then go back to bed
without you i would rather be dead
without you i would

forget all that i said
unscrew my head and put another, lay me down to rest
couple folks told me i need to let it go
told them they’re crazy and i left
i know that i could be a handful baby it’s part of my nature
fool me once, you fooled me twice, so much for asking for a favour
why do you look so blue?
your eyes have lost their colour bae, what’s bothering you?
don’t mistake me for a loon, i see right through you
it’s not a secret i miss you oh i see right through you
it’s not a secret i love you

you were once in a lifetime
no i don't want to die for someone else
once in a lifetime
i'll toss my hurt and hide it on the shelf
no i wouldn't be with no one else
no i wouldn't be with no one else
but you're gone and i'm lost again

lifetime

hey
I know the last time we spoke
Wasn’t all that nice
But it’s okay
I miss you dearly
But what I have to say
Might upset you

A big ol treehouse
All the way in New Zealand
It got away from us
Yet again my dear

The dream is dead
The dream is dead

the dream is dead

produced by @cbrtrsh
lyrics//

i swear on my life
i got it i got it
but who knows for how long
theres never been 
a second way around it
a mission ordained by god herself

a vessel, baby, i
never lived for much at all
my heart raised to the sky
a new love bloomed to fall

lets hide at our place
i dont ever wanna hear about 
the hearts that you break
and the choices you dont make
i wanna run,
lets hide at our place
i dont ever wanna hear about
the hearts that you break
and the words that i cant say
around you, babe

i gotta run babe
no i cant stick around for long
you’re so right
i guess im always in the wrong
its so nice
counting the seconds we’re apart
you pray to the stars, 
we knew it from the start
im just a woman of god
im just a woman of god
im just a woman of god
im just a woman of god
would you still love me
if i cant play my part to you?
my hearts all for you

a vessel, baby, i
never lived for much at all
my heart raised to the sky
a new love bloomed to fall

lets hide, at our place
i dont ever wanna hear about 
the hearts that you break
and the choices you dont make
i wanna run,
lets hide, at our place
i dont ever wanna hear about
the hearts that you break
and the words that i cant say
around you, babe

God is a woman

know,

produced by cybertrash
background vocals at the end by cybertrash
outro from lebron (thanks goat)

what is there left to do

cyba