older song but i still like it i think

lyrics:
i am only a program on your pc
there is no reason to care about me
if you need help i will always be there
& i think together we make the perfect pair

the only things that matter to me are the things that you do

if you need me then just ask & i will have an answer
i am here for you always
do i matter to you? why do you always neglect me?
skip over my text
i just want a friend

Virtual Assistant

halloween song

lyrics:
i've been bitten far too many times
i'm feeling my brain shut down
why won't you give me any medicine
or take me to a nurse
now i'll get worse

teeth falling out, cheeks caving in
skin peeling off, hair thinning
when did i change? did you make me this way?
what could i do to make you stay?

maybe you could tell me what went wrong
why i'm rotting
i need you as my guide
but now you've left me here to die
i'm losing my humanity
do you think there's hope left for me?
i'm sorry

taking apart my limbs slowly
watch me
you act like there's no chance of recovery

now i crave the taste of flesh & blood
all alone
would you like to share some?

ZOMBIFICATION

lyrics:
patiently 
i long to be
way back home
its a truth i shouldn't know

everything 
feels so far away
not quite right
all these colors hurt my eyes

know where to look
know where you'll find me
a whole other life
way back when everyone could see
the man i used to be
i can't leave all that behind me

taking time away from the world
disappear to somewhere else
to the home i see in daydreams
i say "i would do anything" 
but nothing can be done
now i wait for the day
when i wake up in your arms
even if it never comes
you're always on my mind as i fall asleep
my dear

looking back
at all the memories
bittersweet thoughts
now i'm somebody i'm not

talking to
people who don't listen
they don't know why
i say "this body isn't mine"

(disconnect myself from human nature)

looking through my eyes 
they're covered with static
i still fantasize
about when everything made sense
& i loved existence 
now these feelings cause my sickness

disconnect myself from human nature
i can't explain how it feels to watch my body
i stand back looking at nighttime cities
what did i do to deserve this purgatory?
do you think that my dad is proud of me now?

taking time away from the world
disappear to somewhere else
you're always on my mind as i fall asleep
my dear

fernweh

inspired by weevildoing's "post traumatic manifesto" concept album.
lyrics:
eccentric thoughts
eccentric expression
eccentric words
my eccentric depression
it's all of these things
that make people think i'm strange
& i hear them whispering
i hear everything

"i'm worried about her all the time"
"i think she may have crossed the line"
is there something wrong with my mind that needs fixing
or do you just not like that i'm alive?

i take every word you say
& hear it in a different way
paranoid ghost from out of town
feels like my head's spinning around

masking as a real human
wears my patience very thin
your best imaginary friend
has lost her marbles yet again

point & laugh
use my illness as an insult 
you can't take it back
when i fade out from vision
in movies & things
people like me are called "strange"
& it's not in a nice way
i wait for the day

they listen to what i have to say
i don't start to scare them away
doctors try to poke at my brain but i tell them
i'll never end up being saved

i take every word you say
& hear it in a different way
paranoid ghost from out of town
feels like my head's spinning around

masking as a real human
wears my patience very thin
your best imaginary friend
has lost her marbles yet again

i'm not a girl, you see
i'm beyond reality
taking apart my own soul
how could i save it?
feeling shame for things i can't do a thing about
force the meds down my throat as i try to spit them out
oh if you managed to get a good taste of the pain that i go through 
i'd laugh in your face

you take every word i say
& dangle it right in my face
trying to get me to lash out
so you can go & cry about

how my stupid delusions
make me a "dangerous person"

you tell me how i should behave
but i'm undeniably great
doubt your imaginary friend 
& you'll never see her again

i take every word you say
& hear it in a different way
paranoid ghost from out of town
feels like my head's spinning around

masking as a real human
wears my patience very thin
your best imaginary friend
has grand adventures to begin

fernweh

cyber☆cider

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