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Into 2023

Unknxwn. is simply the beat music artist to exist.

UNKNXWN

feels

Unkxwn

This Feeling - my!lane

ru:

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en:
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the perfect girl//retrowave synthwave cover slowed/rewerb

Электрофорез feat. Superkomfort - Фотограф

This feeling - my!lane (sped up)

UNREQUITED LOVE

Fight The Feeling

The Cup

bedridden

bedridden (feat. unknxwn.)

If I Could I Would

10 PERCS

Produced by NIGHT DRESS

This song reflects my deep struggle with vulnerability, creative pressure, and the fear of letting others see my pain. It also captures the complexity of balancing gratitude for my blessings with the lingering weight of unresolved emotions. From a faith-based perspective, this song could be reframed to focus on how God is helping me navigate these emotions and redefine my identity, not as someone who hides pain but as someone who finds strength and healing in Him.

The Fear of Vulnerability:

“I know that you want me to talk but that’s not who I am.”

This line reflects a struggle to be open with others about my pain. The Bible reminds us that vulnerability can be a strength, especially when shared with God or trusted individuals.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

Creative Doubt and Identity:

“I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross.”

This lyric speaks to the weight of self-doubt in my creative process. God has given me talents and they can be used for His glory, even when you feel inadequate.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Balancing Gratitude with Pain:

“I’ve been fucking blessed and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful.”

This tension between acknowledging blessings and feeling pain is a common struggle. God understands your emotions and invites you to bring them to Him without fear of judgment.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

The Desire for Release:

“Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can’t say.”

This imagery highlights the importance of release and expression. God offers freedom from emotional bondage and gives us the courage to express ourselves honestly and healthily.

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me… to set the oppressed free.” (Luke 4:18)

Lyrics

I used to make a song in 40 minutes, then I'd post
And now it takes me weeks to even finish what I wrote
And then it takes me months to build the courage just to post
I feel like everything I make is lame and fucking gross

I'm sorry I don't scream as much, it's not because I changed
I'm scared to show the ones I love that I'm still feeling pain
Cause I've been fucking blessed and I don't wanna seem ungrateful
And I built up so much I can't afford to be unstable

But I still have a lot of hate inside I'm scared to show
It was easier before, I was the only one who'd know
And now I have to hide it when I feel it
But the hiding never works because I know that you can feel it

So please, I know that you want me to talk but that's not who I am
You want me to be real? Music's the only way I can
So please don't get offended when I say something offensive
That was not what I intended, I'm just tryna clear my mental

Like a bird inside a cage is how I feel when I can't say
What I need and what I want, hurting you is not what I want
So please don't take it personal, when I open up so surgical
Don't hurt me, I'm showing you something

i know that you want me to talk but that's not who i am.

Produced by flower x luffysome

This song vividly captures a deep emotional struggle, showcasing themes of unrequited love, toxic cycles, self-doubt, and the internal conflict between seeking healing and clinging to pain. At its core, it reflects a longing for purpose and worth, yet it’s tied to someone else’s love and approval—a perspective that can leave one feeling perpetually empty.

Healing Through Truth, Not Cycles:

“I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I’m toxic.”

This lyric reflects the tension between using music as a release and feeling trapped by it. True healing comes from Christ, who transforms pain into purpose.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

Misplaced Purpose and Worth:

“Girl loving you is my purpose / If I ain’t with you, I’m worthless.”

This sentiment highlights a misplaced dependency on others for worth. God offers a love that is unwavering and defines your true identity.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Breaking Toxic Cycles:

“Stuck in a cycle, I love it.”

This acknowledgment of being caught in a harmful loop mirrors the human struggle with sin and destructive patterns. Freedom comes through surrendering those cycles to God.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

Burden and Redemption:

“Sorry, I know I’m a burden.”

Though it feels isolating, Jesus invites us to cast our burdens on Him. You are not a burden to God; you are loved and valued.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Lyrics

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

This ain't a lesson I'm learning, stuck in a cycle, I love it
Said I was healing, I wasn't, they say time heals wounds but it doesn't
It only makes you forget and honestly that ain't worth shit
Cause I still feel all the effects, I just forgot what caused it

Don't have a heart anymore, gave it to her but she lost it
I tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic
I'm in pain, need to stop it and I don't see any options
What I'm sleeping in bed for? Wanna sleep in a coffin

What I don't, need to do more, what I do, need to do less
I guess I'm just clueless, I'm just stupid, love like cupid, I never had it, I won't get through this
I'll never heal, don't deserve it, I seem alright on the surface
Wait till you see what I surface from all of this pain, I'm hurting

I don't care what you do, you're perfect, girl loving you is my purpose
If I ain't with you, I'm worthless, I can't change my mind, I'm certain
Sorry, I know I'm a burden, flew too close to the sun, I'm burning
And I lost that girl but I'm searching, this ain't a page that I'm turning

i tell myself that these songs make me heal but this music the reason I'm toxic.

Produced by fowni x luffysome

This song is another deeply personal reflection, revealing themes of betrayal, regret, loneliness, and a longing for love. It carries an intense emotional weight and expresses the pain of broken relationships, self-inflicted wounds, and a desire for redemption. From a faith-based perspective, this song can serve as a powerful testimony of transformation, showing the contrast between living for oneself and finding hope and healing in God.

Trusting Others vs. Trusting God:

“Putting my trust into someone and thinking they’ll help me but really get stabbed in the back.”

This reflects the pain of misplaced trust in people who I allowed to let me down. The Bible reminds us to place our ultimate trust in God, who never fails.

“It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.” (Psalm 118:8)

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust others but rather that your foundation should be built on God, who provides security and hope even when others fail.

Self-Destruction and Redemption:

“Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love.”

This line acknowledges the fleeting comfort of substances and the deeper void they leave behind. True peace and love can only be found in a relationship with Christ.

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:18)

Regret and Ownership of the Past:

“I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn’t care, that’s a fact.”

This honest acknowledgment of past selfishness and wrongdoing is a critical step toward healing and growth. The Bible calls this repentance, and it’s the path to God’s forgiveness.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Lyrics

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

Miss the old me, was happy on drugs, I been lonely, just wanna feel love
I was broke so I ran up some bands, why the fuck do I still feel alone?
And I'm sorry to all of my friends that I made wanna leave me alone
I just wish I could tell you thank you, helped me more than you ever could know

What I lost I won't ever get back, it's my fault so I'll leave it at that
I knew what I was doing was wrong and I just didn't care, that's a fact
I ain't care about nobody else, all I cared about then was myself
And I'm honestly still a bit selfish but I'm only like that for my health

I ain't finna go break my back for a bitch that won't ever care about that
I ain't finna go reach my hand out tryna save someone that wouldn't reach back
I ain't finna go waste my time opening up and getting attached
Putting my trust into someone and thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back

Bitch, don't text me, don't wanna chat
Bitch, don't test me, I'll fucking snap
Where my heart should be there is a gap
Cause I gave it to her and she didn't give it back

Okay, she did but that shit turned to ash
So what if she did? Man, that shit wouldn't last
Cause she's all that I need
So I can't let her leave

No, I can't let her go, wish you'd call but I know you won't
I just wish I could let you know when I say "I hate you" just know I don't
I don't even know who I am, am I detmer or garrett or ken?
But I know who I need and they'll never come back again

Every time I wake up I wish that I didn't wake up
Wish I could feel her love but I don't deserve her love
Feel like 2019 unknxwn. cause I know that I won't be enough
How the fuck do you think that you know me?
You just know what I got in my cup

put my trust into someone thinking they'll help me but really get stabbed in the back.

Produced by kledyy

This song carries a deep emotional weight, capturing themes of identity, longing, self-conflict, and inner turmoil. It’s a powerful piece but it’s important to note that it represents a past version of myself that was caught in double-mindedness and seeking validation through relationships, identities, and external recognition.

The lyrics reveal a struggle with self-identity and fractured personas. I express the pain of trying to reconcile different parts of myself—Ken, Detmer, Garrett, Qayin, and unknxwn.—and the longing for someone’s love and acceptance.

From a faith perspective, this could serve as a testimony of how God’s love has provided me with the wholeness and purpose I was searching for through those identities.

Identity:

“Ken is my name but I’m not who he is” reflects the disconnect you felt from your true self.

Biblical truth:

God created you with purpose, and your identity is ultimately rooted in Him.

“I have called you by name; you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

Love and Longing:

“Wish you would tell me you love me, you won’t” expresses a deep yearning for love and acceptance.

Biblical truth: 

God’s love is unconditional and fills the void that no human relationship can.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love.’” (Jeremiah 31:3)

Inner Conflict:

“Garrett told Detmer to unhand me” and “I’m not alive, I’m an echo” capture the battle between the parts of yourself and a sense of emptiness.

Biblical truth:

True peace comes from surrendering all parts of yourself to God.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:8)

Lyrics

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

Why you leave me on my own?
I need you more than I need my own breath in my body
Cause what is it worth
If you're not the one that I'm spending it on?

Ken, detmer, garrett, qayin, unknxwn.
They came to save me when I was alone
Nobody else did, nobody else will
Nobody on earth will know the pain I feel

Guess I'll explain it again, Ken is my name but I'm not who he is
Detmer is all of the things that he hid, Garrett just wanna make peace and amend
Qayin don't really care who he is, he gone be cool with whoever he with
unknxwn. is an alias we only use it when tryna be confident but we be faking it

Don't call me crazy, I'm not, I make sense to myself and that's all that I got
Cause what's it all matter if what really matters to me is not what I say I believe?
So find out what matters to you & don't ever let it be moved
And don't ever let it get lost, cause you only get one and that's all

Wish you would tell me you love me, you won't
You won't say that till the day that I die
I really wish I was who you'd want
You're in my heart but I'm out of my mind

They hear this shit and they think that I'm...
Can't even say what they thinking
I'm the only that could ever understand me
Garrett told Detmer to unhand me

I'm in a place that I can't leave
Wish that I was but I can't be who that girl want
Why can't she see?
Everything that she did, does, will mean to me

I need her bad, I can't let go
Gave her my heart but where that go?
I'm not alive, I'm an echo
I got unlimited songs like eckō

ken is my name but I'm not who he is.

Produced by GAXILLIC & DreamUnion

Lyrics

I know what I did, please don't rub it in
I'm already beating myself up over it 
And I don't need you telling me what I already told myself
Couldn't care about you hating me, I loathe myself

I tired asking God to forgive what I did
I hurt so many people but that was not my intent
I was tryna heal my mind with a heart that was hurt
I would lie, lie, lie just to feel like I was worth

I wanna die, die, die, put my body in a hearse
I don't know why I feel I'm only getting worse
I can't get no better, fuck this, my head hurts
Won't wash that sweater, I can still smell her

You're not here and you won't be back
I'm so stressed and I can't relax
I send text's but you won't read that
You're the one that got away but I'm just your ex

I needed you but you didn't need me
You never told me that you were leaving
Girl I told you I'd be there for you
Told me I wasn't enough for you

I never know what to do and I'll never know what I did
All of the love that I want is in you but all of the love that you give is to him
What in the fuck did I do wrong? Baby just let me fix it
If we're not meant to be together then this ain't a life worth living

you're the one that got away but i'm just your ex.

"I'm Not A Vampire" by Falling In Reverse from their debut album 'The Drug In Me Is You', in stores now!  
Get it at the Epitaph store: www.epitaphstore.com
Order on iTunes: smarturl.it/Druginmeisyou

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/fallinginreverseofficial
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/firofficial
Instagram: http://instagram.com/firofficial

The Drug In Me Is You

I'm Not A Vampire

Buy the album

Falling In Reverse - I'm Not A Vampire

produced by dear vii and fns:
https://soundcloud.com/svn_ptls
https://soundcloud.com/fns40

featuring hm.wav:
https://soundcloud.com/hiitshmwav

check out emotionalbuu's AMV for the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OYEOvakQGc&feature=youtu.be

art by emotionalbuu @emotionalbuu
https://twitter.com/emotionalbuu


[king theta]
Now that you've made me your junkie
I'm a ship and you've sunk me
Everyone seems to fuck
me over guess I'm unlucky ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm fine I'm just drinkin in the daytime
Don't gotta tell me yeah I heard it through the grapevine
Falling in love with you was like hitting a land mine
By tomorrow i'll be crossing over state lines
Don't mind me, I'm already wasted
You left your poisen in my mouth and I can taste it
Falling in love was just a hell that we created
Now I look fucked up I'm just a little frustrated

[hm.wav]
yeah , dissovling into fragments
does this really make sense to you
cause we connected like blue tooth
chilling watching cartoons
tell me what i meant to you
tell me can we rip this apart 
from our innocence
so blinded by my confidence
im isolated from my impotence
im fucked up by the railroad
hiding from tomorrow
my love is always borrowed
the demons speak & follow
(till i cant swallow
heart is hollow
Intertwined in this affliction
full of bad intentions)

[king theta]
I'm fine I'm just drinkin in the daytime
Don't gotta tell me yeah I heard it through the grapevine
Falling in love with you was like hitting a land mine
By tomorrow i'll be crossing over state lines
Don't mind me, I'm already wasted
You left your poisen in my mouth and I can taste it
Falling in love was just a hell that we created
Now I look fucked up I'm just a little frustrated

I think I might need a rain check
I might need my brain checked
I been goin crazy
thats just how you made me
How long did you fake it?
How'd you hide a train wreck?
I been goin crazy
I think you erased me

Don't mind me, I'm already wasted
You left your poisen in my mouth and I can taste it
Falling in love was just a hell that we created
Now I look fucked up I'm just a little frustrated


-=ALMOST ANGELIC=-

wasted ft. hm.wav (prod. dear vii and fns)

Ikabod Veins - Painkiller (Prod. Devereaux)

Art by Emotional Buu https://soundcloud.com/emotionalbuu
https://twitter.com/emotionalbuu

Lyrics:

Still couldn't say,
Who mothered guilt and delivered the prey?
They roll the credits but I still replay
Over and over, it's over. Ok (again and again)
But I don't know who the enemy was
Reflections show up empty of trust
It was you feelin lost, lookin for rest
I was willing to offer the home in my chest

I made
One beautiful mistake
and I pay for it every single day
Now you hate me in every single way
And I know that'll never ever change

Now I've got a shadow
A two dimensional symbol of how shallow
It shows up with the sun to throw all that I've done
On the floor, can't ignore, but move forward
X2

Along for the ride
As we took off I let fate be our guide
But you shook off what I knew wasn't right
Blood on my neck that's a poisonous bite!
But I didn't let this change me
In one week like relapse
I went down in slow steps,
Lost hope like bad romance
Next thing you know I'm in entirely numb
On a dangerous road, say I had a good run

If I could I would take it all back
Not to self save, but to pay my debt
If I could I would take it all back
Not to self save, but to free your head

I made
One beautiful mistake
and I pay for it every single day
Now you hate me in every single way
And I know that'll never ever change

Now I've got a shadow
A two dimensional symbol of how shallow
It shows up with the sun to throw all that I've done
On the floor, can't ignore, but move forward
X2

Now the Devil's made his home on both my shoulders
As I get older I yield to the smolder

Now I've got a shadow
A two dimensional symbol of how shallow
It shows up with the sun to throw all that I've done
On the floor, can't ignore, but move forward

Shadow

featuring https://soundcloud.com/hiitshmwav
art by https://soundcloud.com/xam

[King Theta]
Who's King Theta? You should figure that out
She said see you later yeah yeah yeah yeah
Movin to the city tryna see what I'm about but
You know you knew better than I do
Mover and a shaker I got so much shit to prove
Show I'm not a failure no no no no
I'm a crusader to be better than the group
But who knew life moves faster than I do

I've never much cared for goodbyes
But it's crazy how the time flies
I'm losing sight of you as the fog rolls in

They ask me "where have you been?"
Blowin around like a leaf in the wind
Wonder if I'll ever see you again
I just keep tellin myself to pretend that it's clear up ahead
Where did I go?
Winter will cover my tracks under snow
Wonder if I'll ever see you again
I just keep tellin myself to pretend that it's clear up ahead

[hm.wav]
There’s fog in my head
I forget what you said

See you told me I was nothing but a reject
& you made me want nothing but a paycheck
I don’t wanna talk, I can’t take all your whining 
Baby only calls me when I start climbing
I think I’m addicted to making you beg
Never look back cause it’s written in pen
Use blood as the ink when I write about you
Maybe one day I’ll forget the abuse

[King Theta]
I've never much cared for goodbyes
But it's crazy how the time flies
I'm losing sight of you as the fog rolls in

They ask me "where have you been?"
Blowin around like a leaf in the wind
Wonder if I'll ever see you again
I just keep tellin myself to pretend that it's clear up ahead
Where did I go?
Winter will cover my tracks under snow
Wonder if I'll ever see you again
I just keep tellin myself to pretend that it's clear up ahead

From the apex of all that I've done
I can see clearly
I know you hear me
From the balcony I see the sun
I can see clearly
I know you hear me

The Fog ft. hm.wav

Art:
joetamponi.com/

Produced and mixed by King Theta
twitter.com/realkingtheta
Instagram @kingtheta

Lyrics:


Sick with your self-indulgence
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Tough Luck)
Lost in your false delusion
I wanna listen but you don't say much
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Get Up)

This is tough love
This is getting over it
What's this weight that's pulling your chin down
That's self-hate, your eyes are a ghost town
I won't wait, don't want you to miss out
Start up the truck, so many stories ahead
I know you're a victim
Not gonna deny that
Your spirit is liquid
And I've suffered like that
We're fighting you frozen
And we're gonna show them
I know you hate to count on others,
I feel the same
But I need you standing on your feet

Sick with your self-indulgence
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Tough Luck)
Lost in your false delusion
I wanna listen but you don't say much
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Get Up)

You got one life
You're gonna piss it all away
Self-pity ain't safe

Sick with your self-indulgence
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Tough Luck)
Lost in your false delusion
I wanna listen but you don't say much
I wanna talk to you but you won't budge
(Get Up)

Getting Over It

Lyrics

Shawty don't you break my heart
I don't think you know how to sew up
Baby girl you sick, I caught
I already know I'ma throw up

I don't know how much I'm off
But I know my heart rate rose up
If I don't stand up I can't fall
So don't ever ask me why I do nothing

I'ma fuck up because I can
Do another drug, that's my plan
Wanna fall in love but I can't
I just need a hug, hold my hand

If you won't love me, don't date
That's worse than a heartbreak
On the clock so don't waste my time
I know that you won't stay
You're a game I won't play
Why you wanna fuck with my mind?

There's only so much I can hold up
Don't breath fire if you don't want me to blow up
Don't you make a mess you can't clean up
I can take a step you can't dream of

Now you wanna make me calm down
All that you can do is run now
Oh you see where I'm from now
Why you wanna play so dumb now?

Shawty don't you break my heart
I don't think you know how to sew up
Baby girl you sick, I caught
I already know I'ma throw up

I don't know how much I'm off
But I know my heart rate rose up
If I don't stand up I can't fall
So don't ever ask me why I do nothing

spotify.

detmer. | Produced by metlast

Lyrics

I don't smoke for fun bitch, bitch I smoke because it helps
You think I'm the one bitch? Sorry but you're dead as hell
Livin' life with me is like livin' life in fuckin hell
Can't you fuckin' tell I'm unstable and bitch there's more under the table

Purposely pushin' away, I do not want you to stay (no)
All of my feelin's are grey, why is you callin' me bae, hoe?
Hop the fuck off my line, I'll only waste your time
Yeah we're both here but I promise the reason you are isn't the same as mine

Sorry I sound like an ass, honestly I really am
Yeah, you can come to the crib but you ain't meetin' my fam
Yeah, you prolly know why, I'ma hang up if you cry
I did not come here for feels, after we fuck, it's fuckin' goodbye

I lost all my feelin's on my way back from depression
Life is fuckin' Hell & when I die I'll go to Heaven
unknxwn. but fuck the "o", her favorite number was a 7
I spent 7 months alone so nobody gets the credit

For why I'm still alive, why I didn't choose to die
No comfort when I cried, all alone every night
In the dark where I reside, so I don't need you as a light
I'm the reason I'm still here, and I'm the reason I'm alive

I'm the only one I'll ever need in this world
My dick is the only thing I'll ever give a girl
I'm sick in the head, I don't like shit, shout out to Earl
Sippin' slow on some merlot in a solo until I twirl

I lost myself when I found you, I guess it had to end
I wouldn't snap till I found proof that it was all pretend
I hoped to come a dead end so I could be with you
But I found more than I wanted, so now with you I'm through

With all your lies, I can't believe that every time
That you said that you were mine, it was all just a disguise
For you to throw on and off when needed someone to call
I hope you play this song while driving by a cliff and slip right off

I'm not the bad guy unless make me
But you did me so fucked up that I been thinking lately
That every person that I meet I'll do 'em wrong before it's me
Cause every single time I don't it just leaves me more incomplete

But how could that work if I'm just passing my hurt
Around like it's not important that someone else has the curse?
Cause it won't seize to exist just because it's not in my grip
Around the world it goes until it's back to me when I'm picked

And then I'm back to my shit talking, explosive, I'm poppin'
Detmer's what I call my demon, I can hear it knockin'
He won't leave till I agree, if I don't cave it ain't stoppin'
Smoking weed is the only way that I know I can stop him

merlot. | Produced by khail

Lyrics

I put my heart into this music tryna make it out of where I am
All the words in the world couldn't even make you understand
How much it would mean to me to make enough with ends to meet
From talking bout the shit that I don't talk about as easily

Cause I'm afraid of judgement, I'm afraid of being vulnerable
It isn't honorable when I'm put down for being true
Took so long to be myself when all I tried was being you
Cause I don't think I'm liked enough when I show leaves that I have grew

I'm kinda weird and not because it started being cool to be
But because when I was still in school they made a fool of me
Not because I did dumb shit or acted stupidly
But because I was myself when most people just couldn't be

I like who I am, don't make me second guess
Don't try make me turn into you just because you're like the rest
That shit isn't my fault that you hate yourself enough to change
For people that just want you for a moment but would never stay

And I promise that I could, I swear to God I can
But you just keep on knocking me back down till I can't even stand
So know that when I do again I'm only gonna walk away
I can say truly tried, you're the one that chose to waste

I don't regret shit, I flex on those who make me want to
Don't think you know shit when you don't know the lengths I've gone to
I'll prolly live a thousand lives by the time I die
When one thing doesn't work, I think of new shit I could try

I don't know why I feel alone when there's people all around me
I'll surprise you, don't you doubt me
I've been growing cold with the things I know, I've been floating need some grounding
Love? I try to, you won't allow me

Or won't I allow myself cause I'm scared of help
I'm afraid of a touch that I never felt
Is it my fault that I'm like this?
I don't think it is in the very slightest

I didn't break my own damn heart
I didn't write pain in my stars
I never told anyone to hate me
I'm kinda fragile, don't you break me

I'll snap at any moment I feel it in me
Had enough fake, show me something real please
I want a feeling real enough that it could kill me
Don't make me want to, just fucking end me

fragile. | Produced by INFELIX

Lyrics

Where to go? I don't know, hide my soul, I won't show
Anyone the many things I feel when they get too close
Can't be fixed, I'm too broke, I'm searching for new hope
I'ma let you let you find in me what's really there but won't glow

Be the spark I need to burst in flames, I can't go like Kobain
I just wanna see the day I'm saved, I don't want fucking fame
I just need myself to make me safe but I feel out of place
Yeah I might get lots of plays but I still feel like I'm a waste

You don't know how I feel when I see your eyes
I know it's a disguise covering up all the lies
You told me that you cared but you left me fucking scared
Girl I see you everywhere, swear this life ain't fucking fair

Bitch you ain't real nothing but a hoe
I can't even stay with you, I really gotta go
If I don't, you gone leave me cold
Till I'm dead and I'm growing mold

Scars on my heart you can't see
The one I need you can't be
Stayed here so long, now I can't leave
Breathed in your love, now I can't breathe

I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this
Why try when I always end up pissed?
My life is nothing but a ball of shit
I'd cry but I'd rather make a song like this

Why would you hurt me for nothing?
I knew you were up to something
You say you care but you bluffing
I lost my way cause I made you my compass

This is a poem for you my love
The thing I can't take but it is still my drug
I hope we can both learn to go high above
Just so I can knock you down and show you what it's like to trust

You don't even know how hard it was for me to reach out to you
Just for you to do the very thing you said you'd not do
She loves me, she loves me not
Picking pedals off a flower under the moon is all I really got

Nagging about the past, it's all I'm really good at
According to you, it's something we could get back
But looking at your actions, you're something I don't need back
I hope you can find someone, seems you need that

a love letter. | Produced by unknxwn.

Visual: https://youtu.be/sH5eHx94_1Q

Lyrics

I looked everywhere for something that I should of found in myself
I've created my own life's hell
I'm the sinner, I'm the saint
I'm the thought you hate to think
I'm so lost, I'm in a maze
Be better off inside a grave

Alpha/Omega, fuck thinking that shit
It don't make it no better when I feel like shit
I just feel deader when I'm in the grips
Of a hand I reached out to when I need a lift

Cause if I need help, then I feel like I failed
I'm in debt to the things that I felt
Well oh well, I'm stuck here anyway
What's the point of complaining when I know I'm gonna fade?

I thought you would save me from myself
But now you're deaf to my crys for help
Baby where'd you go?
You left me so fucking alone

Hot inside my chest the night you left, I lost my breath girl
But I guess it's best, I'm still a mess, you were my damn world
Such a shame that you didn't tell the truth to me
I can't feel the same for you if you don't feel the same for me

Make a fool of me, I'ma make a fool of you
You can really rest in peace when I'm really done with you
What's got into me? I think that's got something to do
With how you just fucked with me when I never fucked with you

I should just calm down, I should just let go
But you still come 'round right when I get close
Then I just forget all the pain that you inflict
Then you say "It's a bad day" and ghost me again

Cycle repeats like clockwork
I just act like that I'm not hurt
Even right after I got hurt
Some of these girls are so nice
But none of them make me feel like her
Wish you were here on these cold nights
I swear all my songs are about her

She caught me when I fell
Without her I'm not that well
I'm not sure if I can tell
When I need to say farewell

Cause she don't make me fine
But without her I would of died
I'm not sure if I will find
Anything like that no time

Why'd you have to lie when I asked you bout that guy?
I thought you were not that type, what a waste of fucking time
Want you out my life, hold up, scratch that, never mind
Can't believe with what you've done my love for you is still alive

bedridden (feat. unknxwn.)

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