Still Here, Still Trying is a record about what it really feels like to carry the weight.
Leadership, fatherhood, marriage — showing up, holding it together, keeping your people safe.
The responsibility to stay strong, even when you feel anything but.

This album is about that quiet fight.
The pressure of being the one who’s supposed to keep moving forward, even on the days when the ground feels shaky beneath you.
It’s about doubt. About failing forward. About learning that strength doesn’t always look like confidence — sometimes it looks like exhaustion and still choosing to stay.

These songs live in the space between love and pressure. Between exhaustion and hope. Between being who you want to be and fearing you’ll never quite measure up.
They speak to the weight of holding a family together while trying to hold yourself together too.
But more than anything, they’re about staying.
Choosing home. Choosing love.
Choosing to keep trying.

The bonus track at the end — “I See You (Even When You Don’t)” — is from her side of the story.
It’s a reminder that the people who love us see through the armor, through the weight, through the bullshit.
They know how hard we’re trying.
They love us for it anyway.

Still here. Still fighting. Still trying.

When Nobody’s Watching

Australiana Wellerman Crossover by Australian based artist.

Lyrics
Before the dawn had kissed the land,
Four vehicles roared from where they stand.
From Canberra’s sprawl, in darkness deep,
To Namadgi’s peaks where secrets keep.
Jean-René, in Bavarian might,
A BMW, polished bright.
He plucked up Roy (who travels light?),
At zero-six before first light.
Michael steered his Skoda true,
With station-wagon strength in view.
Linda’s Rover, sturdy, grand,
And Darryn’s Cruiser close at hand.
Through misty bends, a convoy grand,
Four vehicles weaving through woodland.
Yet Gibraltar Falls was barred that day—
For reasons lost, or so they say.
Perhaps the past had left its mark,
A soul departed in the dark.
Or simple works kept gates drawn tight—
A mystery still at morning’s light.
Yet onward still, no pause, no fret,
For Square Rock’s path lay open yet!
A second try, with hearts so bold,
Through gum-clad hills and air so cold.
The Ascent
Darryn bore a noble load,
With coffee gear to grace the road.
Roy, prepared, with snacks in tow,
Like Boy Scouts trained for arctic snow.
Michael, clad in summer's glee,
In shorts and tee, quite worry-free.
Jean-René, with walking stick,
And French Tintin-esque pose so slick.
Linda knew, with savvy keen,
To dress for chill where air turns mean.
And up they climbed, through mist so thin,
While birdsong danced upon the wind.
They strode in single file’s embrace,
With chatter traded face-to-face.
Till boulders vast in grandeur lay,
And Square Rock's majesty held sway!
The Summit: Coffee & Legacy
Perched atop the granite throne,
The mountain whispered, "You're alone."
Yet not alone—with mugs in hand,
For Darryn brewed with barista’s stand.
Roy declared, with joyful might,
"No finer coffee graced this height!"
With lollies shared and chocolates fine,
They feasted high above the pine.
Jean-René stood, a silhouette,
A Tintin sketch in shadows set.
The vista sprawled, so wild, untamed,
While eagles soared and lyrebirds named.
Yet time was short, as time oft is,
And down they stepped from nature’s bliss.
The Descent & Departure
No serpents coiled along the way,
The sky was blue, a flawless day.
Through bog and brush, past trees burnt bare,
With mountain tales still thick in air.
Through talk of bushfires fierce and vast,
Of homes once lost, of storms long past.
Of childhoods spent in far-flung lands,
Where cattle grazed on dust and sand.
They reached the cars, their trek complete,
And sped to Clarries, bound for seats.
A eucalyptus shade so wide,
Held voices bold with hiking pride.
Final Reflections (And Not-So-Great Coffee)
The coffees? Mediocre fare.
The road-bikers? Everywhere.
But stories spun of wheels and speed,
And Michael's love for cycling freed.
So there they sat, the five now one,
Bound by track, by mist, by sun.
And though they’d part, each bound for home,
The Square Rock lore would ever roam.

2 August 2025

The Square Rock Saga

Another in the genre of hiking songs through the Australian bushland with friends.

Lyrics
Once a merry band of six set off at sunrise,
Boots on the track as the drizzle came down,
Hopping o’er puddles and trekking through bushland,
Singing and laughing, they covered the ground.

(Chorus)
Roaming the river, oh, roaming the river,
Under the gum trees, we wandered along,
Kangaroos bounding and bikers a-flying,
Down by the Murrumbidgee, singing our song. 🎶

Darryn the skipper had planned out the journey,
Packing his coffee and billy gear too,
Roy with his backpack, a swag on his shoulders,
Davai soon whittled a stick good as new.

(Chorus)
Roaming the river, oh, roaming the river,
Under the gum trees, we wandered along,
Kangaroos bounding and bikers a-flying,
Down by the Murrumbidgee, singing our song. 🎶

Raj and Davai took in all the scenery,
Wallabies watched as we strolled on our way,
One mighty kangaroo led like a captain,
Guiding us down where the river did lay.

(Chorus)
Roaming the river, oh, roaming the river,
Under the gum trees, we wandered along,
Rosellas perched high and a caterpillar crawling,
Down by the Murrumbidgee, singing our song. 🎶

Perched up on Red Rocks, we brewed up the coffee,
Sipping our mugs as the morning sun rose,
Linda was steadfast, two hikes to her tally,
Snapping up photos in picturesque pose.

Among the tall gums and the Cyprus pines standing,
Termite-proof towers so rugged and true,
They whispered their stories in breezes that lingered,
Over the hikers, beneath skies so blue.

(Chorus)
Roaming the river, oh, roaming the river,
Under the gum trees, we wandered along,
Sunlight was golden, the drizzle returning,
Down by the Murrumbidgee, singing our song. 🎶

Back to the car park, our legs feeling weary,
Raj took his leave for a family meal,
The rest to Café Beetroot, tradition unwavering,
With coffee in hand, the joy was so real!

(Final Chorus)
Roaming the river, oh, roaming the river,
Under the gum trees, we wandered along,
Stories were shared and the journey remembered,
Down by the Murrumbidgee, singing our song.

Murrumbidgee River Roam

Lyrics about participation in the 2025 Canberra Sri Chinmoy ultramarathon - 3 August 2025

[Verse 1 - Ben’s Dawn Start]
At dawn’s chill crack by Burley’s edge,Our breath a foggy mist,I stood alone, made silent pledge,In darkness, spirits kissed.The mountains waited, shadows deep,My fears began to fold;Saw Linda cheering, losing sleep,Her kindness broke the cold.

[Chorus 1]
So run, lads, run, keep spirits high,'Cross Canberra’s hills beneath the sky.Pain and pride, let courage flow,Through Namadgi’s heart, we go!

[Verse 2 - Relay Through the Pain (Nick and Clarey)]
Nick took the bib, embraced the run,Through eucalyptus fair;From Red Hill trails, beneath the sun,Breathing crisp morning air.Clarey raced on, Stromlo loomed,Snacks from Naomi's hand;An ankle twist, my hopes consumed,Yet proud I made my stand.

[Chorus 2]
Run, mates, run, through forests deep,With aching bones, our pace we'll keep.Cheer to cheer, we hold our vow,The marathon claims us now!

[Verse 3 - Michael’s Battle and Red’s Glory]
Michael fought through Arboretum’s might,Black Mountain cursed aloud;Yet Colin’s shout, and Will’s delight,My spirit made me proud.At Dickson's stage, dear Red I found,Passed on the baton clear;Mount Majura called, in pain profound,My victory drawing near.

[Chorus 3]
Run, mates, run, the light grows thin,With Canberra’s lights calling us in.Final steps, and cheers so bright,We’ll finish strong tonight!

[Verse 4 - Ben’s Solo Journey]
Ben’s my name, alone endured,Each mile a silent war;Through highs and lows, my fate assured,Remembering what it’s for.Eagles soared, ‘roos ran astray,Namadgi soothed the pain;Lake Burley Griffin, end of day,Exhausted pride again.

[Outro]
We’ve run, mates, run, our race complete,Five weary souls, our hearts now meet.Bonded strong, through trials we’ve shared,Namadgi’s call—we dared!

2025 DSSC Barkley (Canberra Sri Chinmoy) Ultra

Lyrics
At Dalsetta carpark early, waiting in the cold,
Jean-Rene’s Beemer purring, Roy scoutin’ bold.
Stick in hand, Jean-Rene stood proud and set,
While Roy in full regalia—no badges missed yet.

Then late by just six minutes, Tom came along,
Eyes to sky, fair-weather nerves strong.
Stephanie in waterproofs, ready for a downpour,
That BOM got it right, left Tom wanting more.

Ten past late, Darryn strutted into view,
Shorts so tiny, coffee gear too.
Sidekick Chris, tea brewer supreme,
Jet-boilin’ cuppas in his outdoor scheme.

Trail kicked off gently, the slope a friend,
Through kangaroos loungin’, around the bend.
Aussie bush whispers, bird calls so clear,
Jean-Rene whistlin’ French tunes Steph could hear.

Slippery granite rocks dared each foot to slip,
Billy Goat Roy danced on each deadly tip.
"Back home," he laughed, "I dropped fifty feet—
No scratches or bullets, an easy feat!"

At Gibraltar's edge, rocks wet and slick,
Roy flirted with edges, makin’ stomachs tick.
"Closer mate," we called, "you'll meet your maker!"
"Relax," says Roy, "just nature's risk-taker."

Coffee brewed midway, Tom’s smile spread wide,
Real hike reason—coffee breaks supplied.
Chris’s jet-boil whistlin’, cups passed around,
Darryn's espresso, best trail-side found.

At summit we stood, exposed to chill,
Innuendo and banter on slippery hill.
Views stretched out, Canberra below,
Quick gusts arose, and cold winds did blow.

Jackets zipped tight, coffee gulped fast,
Back to trees quick, that chill wouldn’t last.
Chats about Japan, cities pristine,
Strategic chatter from Roy's keen routine.

Back at the cars, no coffee in sight,
Assignments due—no cappuccinos tonight.
Perfect trails, views grand, company swell,
This Gibraltar Peak hike, mates, it sure went well!

Gibraltar Peak Hike May 2025

Lyrics
Verse 1
What if I told you that you have no life
That you live your life through others

Chorus
Ra ra quid pro quo
Blah blah I hear nothing

Verse 2
You smile when you need to
and frown right on cue.
Who's life are you living?...
Is this me or you?

Chorus
Ra Ra ying yang karma
Blah blah I hear nothing

Verse 3
Looking in the mirror
Smiling back, a face unknown.
It's not me.
It doesn't match,
my personality.

Chorus
Ra ra strange things happen
Unlikely friend in me.

Verse 4 (Outro)
This couldn't be me?
The hair, the eyes.
Can't you see? Ra
My face doesn't match.
My personality.

Ra Ra

Introspective

Lyrics
Verse 1
Yesterday, I walked 'the lonely'. Ooh
Met people, but stayed out of reach.
They weren't my people, in spirit or kind.
Just consumers, fillers, sheep.
Ra

Chorus
Self aware, in despair,
Walking 'the lonely'. Ooh
Timid, blue and broken.
Walking 'the lonely'.
Aah

Verse 2
Today, I walked 'the lonely'. Ooh oh
Shook hands, smiled and preached.
They wanted to be my people,
They wanted deep friendship strength.
But, alas I want for nothing,
Loneliness, my beat.
Past

Chorus
Self aware, in despair,
Walking 'the lonely'. Ooh
Timid, blue and broken.
Walking 'the lonely'.
Aah

Verse 3
Tommorrow, I'll walk 'the lonely'. Ooh Aye
Too scared, to smile or cry.
Posit a future dim,
low highs, high lows.
Future

Chorus
Self aware, in despair,
Walking 'the lonely'. Ooh
Timid, blue and broken.
Walking 'the lonely'...
Aah

Verse 4
Now, I walk 'the lonely'. Ooh Ra
Crippled in the present, but rushing to die.
Watching the world at half speed,
No detail of interest, no need.
Present

Chorus (outro)
Self aware, in despair,
Walking 'the lonely'. Ooh
Timid, blue and broken.
Walking alone....
Aah

Ra oooh yah..

Walking 'the lonely'

Based on Professor Richard Feynman's letter to his wife - 17 October 1946

Lyrics
Verse 1 (“October 1946”)
October 17, the ink runs warm,
paper breathing like a chest. Ooh
“It’s such a terribly long time,” I form,
but the silence never rests.
“I adore you, sweetheart”—I write it plain,
not just because you liked it said;
I write it ’cause it lights a flame,
a small bright room inside my head.
October air....

Chorus (“Warmth”)
“I adore you, sweetheart,” addressed
to where the post can’t reach.
No sense to writing, I once confessed—
yet love keeps finding speech.
If proof won’t fit a line I’ve read,
then feel this theorem in the thread.
Warmth...

Verse 2 (“Idea-Woman”)
We had our little projects lined,
“learn to make clothes,” “learn Chinese,”
“get a movie projector,” wild designs,
you were the spark in every breeze.
“Can’t I do something now?” I ask;
“No,” the quiet answers slow.
You were the “idea-woman,” first and last,
and now I’m one man in the afterglow.
Glow...

Chorus (“Hollow Projects”)
“I adore you, sweetheart,” I send
to rooms where plans can’t start.
The boxes wait, the reels don’t spin,
but you still wind my heart.
If love’s a machine I cannot build,
then hold these parts until they’re filled.
Hollow...

Verse 3 (“Ashes / Real”)
When you were sick, you worried so,
you couldn’t give what you believed I’d need—
“you needn’t have worried,” I told you then,
for love ran deeper than the deed.
“It is clearly even more true now”—
you can give me nothing—still I stand
with you “in my way of loving anyone else,”
and I choose your steadfast hand.
“I’ll bet you are surprised” at me,
no girlfriend after all this time;
“I have met many girls,” they’re kind,
“but… they all seem ashes,” pale of mind.
“You, dead, are so much better
than anyone else alive,” I say; (they all seem ashes)
I know you’d wish me “full happiness,”
you’d try to clear my way—
but some truths won’t be reasoned through,
they live where proofs can’t tread:
“I love my wife,” the line rings true—
“My wife is dead.”
Not a ghost, not half-concealed,
not a dream that slips or peels—
“you are real,” D’Arline, you’re real,
in every room the daylight steals.
Ashes....

Chorus (“Stand There”)
“Stand in my way,” beloved—stay,
be guardian of my heart.
If grief’s a law I can’t repeal,
then bind it with your art.
“I want to love you,” signed and sealed—
you are the constant, proved and real.
Stay...

Verse 4 - Outro (“P.S.”)
PS
“My darling wife, I do adore you.”
I fold the page and bless
the letter I won’t mail to you—
“Please excuse my not mailing this…
I don’t know your new address.”
So here’s where all our letters live:
inside the room your warmth bequeathed,
where every “I love you” still arrives,
and every silence breathes.

“I adore you, sweetheart."
"...They all seem ashes."
“I adore you, sweetheart,"
"...They all seem ashes.'

Feynman’s Letter

Lyrics
Verse 1
What if I told you that you have no life
That you live your life through others

Chorus (x 2)
Ra ra quid pro quo
Blah blah I hear nothing

Verse 2
You smile when you need to
and frown right on cue.
Who's life are you living?...
Is this me or you?

Chorus (x 2)
Ra Ra ying yang karma
Blah blah I hear nothing

Verse 3
Looking in the mirror
Smiling back, a face unknown.
It's not me.
It doesn't match,
my personality.

Chorus (x 2)
Ra ra strange things happen
Unlikely friend in me.

Verse 4 (Outro)
This couldn't be me?
The hair, the eyes.
Can't you see? Ra
My face doesn't match.
My personality.

Ra Ra

Introspective Acoustic

Rain - A COLORS SHOW

Avid hiker, trail runner and nature lover.

Murrumbidgee River Roam

Darryn Mullins