[verse]
it's midnight 
the party's on, you're waiting outside 
taxi ride 
down the m25, i'm feeling so alive 
twenty-two
 is how many drinks i've had before i met you 

[verse]
i know you've got a girl at home 
and she's sitting there all alone 
but obviously it's me you wanna bone 

[chorus]
you got that bottle of vodka tucked in your shirt 
and i've got that bag of ket underneath my skirt 
we ain't at the club yet and you're saying i'm hot 
well what can i say? it's true 
my body counts five hundred and two

[verse]
here it goes
i'm dancing away and you're tryna take off my clothes 
fifty shots 
that's how many i think i'll need til i'm off my rocks 

[verse]
i know you've got a girl at home 
and she's sitting there all alone 
but obviously it's me you wanna bone 

[chorus]
you got that bottle of vodka tucked in your shirt 
and i've got that bag of ket underneath my skirt 
we ain't at the club yet and you're saying i'm hot 
well what can i say? it's true 
my body counts five hundred and two
five hundred and two 
five hundred and two 
fiver hundred and two

[bridge]
i know you've got a girl at home 
and she's sitting there all alone 
but obviously it's me you wanna bone 

[chorus]
you got that bottle of vodka tucked in your shirt (shirt) 
and i've got that bag of ket underneath my skirt (skirt)
we ain't at the club yet and you're saying i'm hot 
well what can i say? it's true 
my body counts five hundred and two (five hundred and two)


[chorus]
i'm spewing blood i need a taxi home 
where the phuc is my keys and phone 
guys following me cause they know i'm alone 
well i guess i'll show them my 8 inch throne 

[verse]
things in the club they got heavy tonight 
was dancing away no wankers in sight 
until this man he pulled me aside 
and was demanding me for a fight 

[verse]
they don't like it when i show them my cok 
in their heads they thought i was not 
a man dancing and dancing til' they drop 

[chorus]
i'm spewing blood i need a taxi home 
where the fuck is my keys and phone 
guys following me cause they know i'm alone 
well i guess i'll show them my 8 inch throne

[verse]
it's so delicious when they wanna taste 
i'm so ambiguous how i make them wait 
until they ask to bend over (oh)
and then see i've boner (uh)

[chorus]
i'm spewing blood i need a taxi home (uh)
where the phuc is my keys and phone (oh yes)
guys following me cause they know i'm alone (naughty)
well i guess i'll show them my 8 inch cock (throne)



8 Inch Throne

[verse]
you're texting me on a tuesday night 
saying that you've finally went and booked my flight 
i'm excited to meet ya 
won't be long fore' i see ya 
then we'll pop out for dinna 

[pre-chorus]
playin' with my tunnel 
let me wipe it with a flannel 
tell me why i'm seeing double?
oh my, it's the size of a shuttle 

[chorus]
you, you know i've been waiting 
for a little naughty invitation 
my body's longing for some stimulation 
i'm glad you've got a lil' intuition 
tonight we won't be stopping at the kitchen 
i thank you for your naughty invitation 
naughty invitation 

[verse 2]
your phone keeps beeping while we're tryna phuc 
put it on silent, this pussi is worth more than your scelet (your scelet)
cause you, you know it's true 
you're punching and we've got alot to do 
so get your tongue out and put it to work 
i ain't gonna stay here if you're gon act like a mutt 

[pre-chorus]
playin' with my tunnel 
let me wipe it with a flannel 
oh my, it's the size of a shuttle

[chorus]
you, you know i've been waiting 
for a little naughty invitation 
my body's longing for some stimulation 
i'm glad you've got a lil' intuition 
tonight we won't be stopping at the kitchen 
kitchen 



Naughty Invitation

[verse]
it's the big day 
it's the 23rd of may 
am i allowed to say?
that you're phuc king the wrong maid 

[verse]
she is a phuc king tart 
who likes it up the fart 
cause her fanny is so dark 
honestly, you both need time apart 

[chorus]
the wedding bells are ringing 
and everybody's singing 
while i'm over here thinking 
i'm in need of a good dicking 
a good dicking 
a good dicking 
a good dicking 

[verse]
i can't be there to witness it 
the moment when you kiss her lips 
when mine are clearly the shit 
when you gonna wake up and dump the bitch?

[verse]
you are only getting married 
cause she's trapped you with babies 
we shouldn't act too hasty 
but we both know you're the one for me

[verse]
she is a phuc king tart 
who likes it up the fart 
cause her fanny is so dark 
honestly, you both need time apart 

[chorus]
the wedding bells are ringing (ringing)
and everybody's singing (singing)
while i'm over here thinking (oh)
i'm in need of a good dicking 
a good dicking 
a good dicking 
a good dicking 

[bridge]
she is a phuc king tart 
who likes it up the fart 
cause her fanny phuc king stinks 
honestly, she needs a shrink 

[chorus]
the wedding bells are ringing 
and everybody's singing
while i'm over here thinking 
i'm in need of a good dicking
a good dicking (dicking)
a good dicking (dicking)
a good dicking (dicking)




Wedding Bells

[verse]
i'm standing on the street corner waiting for some customers 
i've been here since twelve o'clock but no one is asking for these tits 
i gotta get myself some money before i go hungry and stink 
where the phuc is everybody? it's saturday night and they're pissed 

[pre-chorus]
i need some dollar
for sucking your cocka
don't be telling me that it's ova
when i can see your big bona

[chorus]
i need some dollar (dollar, dollar)
i need some dollar (dollar, dollar)
come on give me some dollar (dollar, dollar)
i can see your bona (bona, bona)
let me bash it on my uvula (uvula, uvula)

[verse]
i'm sitting on the bus trying to flash my double f's 
we're heading down south to the dirtiest, roughest place 
if i can't get drunks then junkies will have to do 
i've got this picture in my head of a massive big queue 

[pre-chorus]
i need some dollar
for sucking your cocka
don't be telling me that it's ova
when i can see your big bona

[chorus]
i need some dollar (dollar, dollar)
for sucking your cocka (cocka, cocka)
come on give me some dollar (dollar, dollar)
i can see your bona (bona, bona)
let me bash it on my uvula (uvula, uvula)


Dollar

[Chorus]
I'm twenty nine and I still love vodka
I'm waking up in skips and running out of dollar 
Why can't I stay sober?
Someone give me a fucking revolver 

[verse]
It's my friends wedding and he thinks he's marrying the one 
Wedding bells are chiming and they're all soaking up the sun 

[Verse]
Tell me why I'm so conflicted?
I thought you wanted to suck on my tits?
I can see that it's bye bye for us then 

[Chorus]
I'm twenty nine and I still love vodka
I'm waking up in skips and running out of dollar 
Why can't I stay sober?
Someone give me a fucking revolver 

[Verse]
So It's off to shag me land I will go 
Five hundred and two drinks doesn't fill up this hole 
My eight inch throne found itself lost at the pier
No more naughty invitations for me I'll be staying right here 

[Chorus]
I'm twenty nine and I still love vodka
I'm waking up in skips and running out of dollar 
Why can't I stay sober?
Someone give me a fucking revolver 

[Outro]
I bet his wife his screeching "look at me and my husband"
All while I'm here longing for some good penetration



Why Can't I Stay Sober?

Your Cock is My Desire

Whorehouse

Empire

[Verse 1]
I was having fun speeding my car down Ashton Lane
And then a police car pulls me over round at the bend
The police man is walking over and I see his face
And I predicted right there and then his fall from grace
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, Mr officer
I can see you've got a boner
Do you want me to sort it for ya?
These juicy tits be hypnotizing ya
[Chorus]
You've got your hand caressing my tits in the back of the police car
I was under arrest until I showed you my tits were five star
My body is the key to my attainment
And your hobby officer, is playing with what's heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent
[Verse 2]
I know you've went and jotted down my address and name
Let's wipe the slate clean and I'll show you my tits again
How about we take this meeting up a notch
Oh, you just sit tight there and let me play with your dirty cock
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, Mr officer
I can see you've got a boner
Do you like how I'm sorting it for ya?
I love the fact I'm hypnotizing ya
[Chorus]
You've got your hand caressing my tits in the back of the police car (police car)
I was under arrest until I showed you my tits were five star (five star)
My body is the key to my attainment (oh)
And your hobby officer, is playing with what's heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent
I'm heaven-sent

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