THE LONE WOLF’S GUIDE TO DATING (Cooper/Jones)
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Step one: don’t text back
Always leave ‘em wonderin’ where you’re at
Step two: Don’t make small talk or any kind of eye contact
Step three: call it “aloof,” not “emotionally unstable”
Bonus tip: vanish mid-date before the bill lands on the table 
 
Welcome to the lone wolf’s guide to dating
His rules on how to ever avoid ever relating
Swipes left on love, swipes right on pizza
Ghosts ‘em gently, just sayin’, “Nice to meet ya”
He’s got charm like a cactus and bark when you bait him
But hey, he’s cute but beware, he causes mayhem

Step four: He’s learnt to brood attractively
Stare off into the distance but oh so intensely
Step five: brings his baggage but won’t unpack it
Step six: make sure his red flags match his loud red jacket
And if someone says, “we need to talk,” he’ll turn and run
It’s worked surprisingly well for him since 1991

Welcome to the lone wolf’s guide to dating
His rules on how to ever avoid ever relating
Swipes left on love, swipes right on pizza
Ghosts ‘em gently, just sayin’, “Nice to meet ya”
He’s got charm like a cactus and bark when you bait him
But hey, he’s cute but beware, he causes mayhem

Yet sometimes… you’ll catch him a-howlin’ at the moon
Wishing someone special would come and get him soon
He snarls at commitment, sure, it’s true
But if you bring fresh meat, he might just devour you

Welcome to the lone wolf’s guide to dating
Avoids close ties but needs satiating
What if he tried, just once, not fleeing
Stayed for dessert and caught a sweet, rich feeling
Yeah, he’s rough around the edges, got a ways to go yet
But hey, who knows? He could be house trained and be somebody’s pet

Step seven: don’t bother to overthink
Step eight: have always nearby, a long cool drink
Step nine: admits occasionally to sometimes care
Step ten: runs his claws through his long coarse hair
His guide’s a total mess and so is he
But he might let you in his den, if you allow him to roam free
‘Cos if you managed to cut through all the myths surrounding him
You might just find he’s a sheep in a wolf’s clothing

The Lone Wolf's Guide to Dating

David-Gwyn Jones