Dick Koomans, grand organ Nieuwe Kerk Amsterdam

Fanfare For A Mediaeval Steamtrain

Postnuclear Winterscenario No.15 for 2 pianos

for guitar, performed by William Anderson

Postnuclear Winterscenario No.2

EXALTED BARD BUFF

This recording is of me and Jennifer Elowsky-Fox and is from my faculty recital this past fall at Boston Conservatory.  

Memories Of Thirteen Snowflakes/Marti Epstein and Jennifer Elowsky-Fox

Blonde and Red started as a piano vocal track in May 2024, and then one day in July I turned it into a dreamy gothic synthpop track. The lyrics were inspired by my favorite 90s show about vampires (wink wink) and centers on the main character and her best friend in one of the more dramatic scenes. I think I was simultaneously speaking to that dynamic and also reflecting on my own feelings about deep friendship at the time. 

Lyrics:

Blonde and red 
until the end 
Blonde and red 
I’ll be by your side until the end 
Never again will you cry 
Til you see the night sky 

Blonde and red 
Moving fast we’ll never pretend 
Blonde and red 
By your side again and again 
Watching me 
Waiting in my grave 
Clawing out 
After you made life start again 
Traumatized after I resurrected you

Blonde and red 
We’ll be monsters again 
Blonde and red 
All the magic in you
You were in Heaven 
But I thought you were in hell
So I saved you
Little did I know 
That’s not what you wanted to do

Blonde and red 
Blonde and red 
Blonde and red 


Blonde and Red

Only in Memories began as an instrumental. I was looking to create a track that had an anime outro type sound, a bit grunge, but still using the electronic instruments that I’m so familiar with. I wrote the lyrics just after losing my granddad this past summer, and the song definitely centers around loss as I contemplated mortality as a whole and distance from people who are important to me. 

Lyrics:

The moments I can recall 
As if I’m time traveling
Your presence palpable
As if a phantom speaking
The past plays in my mind 
With a retro film texture
So far away

Only in memories 
But we’re fading away 
Only in memories 
I am living through them I am living through them 

Only in memories 
But we’re fading away
Only in memories
I am living through them I am living through them

Feeling in my heart 
The way I felt back then 
If I remember hard enough 
It’s like I’m there again
Time takes another life 
Always more to follow 
Since it took you from me 
There’s no hope in tomorrow 

Only in memories 
But we’re fading away 
Only in memories 
I am living through them I am living through them 

Only in memories 
But we’re fading away
Only in memories
I am living through them I am living through them

Oh you never turn around 
Oh you never turn around 
If you only looked back you would see me 
Oh you never turn around
Oh you never turn around
If you only looked back you would see me 

Fading away (fading away)
Fading away (fading away)
Fading away
Fading away


Only in Memories

Fantastic Beats 2025 004, recorded on 24th February 2025 on AfterDarkRadio. Veered off the usual track of playing brand new beats, with some classic d&b in the second half of the show. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

1 NonRev - Plans Change
2 Fortune & Chance - Get Low
3 Mindstate & Myth - Here Nor There
4 Quartz & War - Runtime
5 HLZ - Rust
6 Bungle - Black Light
7 Quartz - Do It
8 HLZ - Flow State
9 Walk:r - Obsession
10 DJ Crystl - King of the Beats - (Fierce Remix)
11 Kosheen - Hide U (Decoder & Substance 12" remix)
12 Silence Groove - Sunshines
13 MC Conrad - Escape From The Gates Of Nadir
14 HLZ - Hellgate
15 Lynx - Ayahuasca
16 Mindstate - Zims
17 HLZ - Control
18 Walk:r - Coercion
19 Fierce, Nico, Zero T - Profile (Original Mix)
20 SPIRIT - Murderer
21 INTALEX, Marcus/ST FILES - Warp 1
22 VARIOUS - Spacefunk (Nasty Habits remix)
23 Dkay - Transition (feat Marcus Intalex)
24 Calibre - Diamonds & Pearls
25 NEED FOR MIRRORS - Virago
26 M.I.S.T. - Outerspace
27 4HERO/DJ MARKY/VARIOUS - Better Place (Marcus Intalex & ST Files remix)
28 TOTAL SCIENCE/MC CONRAD - Soul Patrol (Full Length version)



Fantastic Beats 2025 004

Beatrice and Phil speak with lifelong activist William Bronston about his experiences trying to take down the infamous Willowbrook institution from within as a young doctor, his appeal to replace “long term care” with “lifetime care," and how his work towards deinstitutionalization informs his ongoing advocacy for single payer healthcare.

Transcript: https://www.deathpanel.net/transcripts/lifetime-care-dr-william-bronston

This episode was originally released for patrons on August 28th, 2023, as Artie explains in a brief note at the top of the show. To support the show and help make episodes like this one possible, become a patron at www.patreon.com/deathpanelpod

Find Bronston's book "Public Hostage, Public Ransom" here: www.publichostagepublicransom.org/ 
and the state single payer plan he coauthored here: caltcha.org/model

Find our book Health Communism here: www.versobooks.com/books/4081-health-communism

Find Jules' latest book, A Short History of Trans Misogyny, here: https://www.versobooks.com/products/3054-a-short-history-of-trans-misogyny

Death Panel merch here (patrons get a discount code): www.deathpanel.net/merch

As always, support Death Panel at www.patreon.com/deathpanelpod

Become a patron

Lifetime Care w/ William Bronston

the fifth age of the universe

2006 "No man is an Island", chamber cantata on the text by J. Donne for mezzo (women's choir), piano and Strings

"No man is an Island"

Pianist. Percussionist. Dead thing masquerading as a person.

the fifth age of the universe

davy bones