And who am I to u? just different shades of blue, a gradient of me♡♡♡ bro!

this NEEDS a confusing yet accurate music video, shot like a 90s one

body going missing

prod: https://soundcloud.com/block-tane https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz
 
i can hear my own heartbeat
pound in this quiet
hands bound back
with this rope
he'll tie me up
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
i can feel the cold concrete
laying down, crying
itching through scabs
to be whole is all i want
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh, my body keep shaking
place my flesh upon a sigil
brand with my initials
this night will make me whole again
the embers start to whistle
nothing left, no one to hold me
bloody ceremony
i will lose control again,
the heavens will disown me

please, please
it's all that i have
(like magician, body going)

like magician,
body going missing
bloodied up my palms
baby i feel like a christian
just how i envisioned
prep for the incision
pierce right through my heart
until my fingers finish twitching
oh yeah,
i think i like it, i don't wanna pretend
i'm fucking begging for it
cut me again
and again, and again, and again
and again

(let us pray, let us wish
to partake in communion,
let us partake in communion,
and feast upon the old blood)

where i'm going
i won't make it back
hope he's waiting for me
vision going black
nothing i have left will make it past
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh my body keeps shaking
keeps shaking


paleblood

pekarot
@sleepywater

she lacking empathy she gone tomorrow
see what is left of me, me and my sorrows
cause you might be dead to me, you left me a bottle
and a blue pill that I don't wanna swallow

body's got a fleeting feeling and I got all my sorrows
how do I stop this feeling of feeling real hollow
know you love me but you tell me that I'm acting hostile
i might crash this car cause I'm going full throttle

stop drinking your life away your grasping at a bottle
i think I might hide away and talk to you tomorrow
i know its not healthy but I'm full of sorrows
i bet you wouldn't help me if I left tomorrow

oahhh
oahhh
oahhh
oahhh

paint me a picture that's hard not to swallow
when your with him I feel like being hostile
i like the idea of moving to a castle
let's build some high walls, fuck I'm an asshole

your growing in mold, the more that you hassle
do what your told, before that I let go

oahhh
oahhh
oahhh
oahhh

she lacking empathy she gone tommorow
see what is left of me, me and my sorrows
cause you might be dead to me, you left me a bottle
and a blue pill that I don't wanna swallow

body's got a fleeting feeling and I got all my sorrows
how do I stop this feeling of feeling real hollow
know you love me but you tell me that I'm acting hostile
i might crash this car cause I'm going full throttle

tomorrow - sleepwater (cover)

everything reproduced by me
original song credits towards my dear friend jude (@sleepywater)


i miss you so much bro; love you, forever.

sleepwater - tomorrow (cover)

lyrics
--------
i don’t need a hero to save me
baby you can call me crazy
spit upon my face throw a hook like jay z
lazy lately all i do is hate me
self-sabotage coming clutch i’m shaky
probably from the drinking and the yapping and the 47 times today that i overreacted
it’s a travesty to live like this and i’m merely subtracting
when i choose to move in silence let it blow with the theatrics
i guess it came with living lonely
guess that five year plan wasn’t close enough to hold me
guess that best friend fed up cause i ghost and end up folding
guess that love won’t last cause i always end up bolting
yeah
and i’m afraid of getting closure
i’m afraid of getting sick of this and i’ll only get older
i ain’t shit but a man with some songs inside a folder
why’s it feel like death is dancing on my shoulder?
i don’t like that
and i got hella insecurities
teeth, hair, skin, false hope, nothing pure in me
i’m begging for the silence but the rain hit beautifully
and maybe i’m just lacking some maturity
maybe if i dig upon my past i can super glue my skeleton
fit him to my frame tell him you were only seven nick
you ain’t do no wrong you are beautiful and heaven sent
ignorance is bliss but my innocence irrelevant
trauma bond via satellite
you are what you eat so the music keep me sad at night
sixteen to now pockets still full of that hematite
the only thing i’m lacking is an appetite

music video

theatrics (prod. neverforever)

breathe

lyrics:
what if they dont like me
yeah like what if im a failure
what if i lose sight of the goal when im chasing all this paper

yeah but what if i dont make it, and she leave
well i dont blame her
she an angel, im a vampire
still do my best to save her

what if she stop calling when the money start to slow
what if i forget myself the further that i go
what if i lose grip if im tryna carry every load
but fuck it i was born to walk this fire down the road

well fuck that, ima be that, everything she need and more
aint no cop out, ima pop out, and i swear that to my core
im so tired now, of being scare now, i just want it even more
if the world fall, and collapse now, im still standing at her door

what if all this grinding just get heavy on my soul
what if every song i drop still never make me whole
what if i go numb and stop believing in the goal
what if i get rich and end up having no control

what if every friend i had, just a phase i never chose
what if every "im okay" was the pain i never showed
what if she get tired of the silence in my tone
and realize that she need somebody stronger down the road

whats wrong with me
just tell me please
i been looking in the mirror like the enemy

and my thoughts are playing tricks
i know they want to play both sides
like "youll never be enough"
and then "youre destined for the skies"

no cop out

thank you for listening

Lyrics:

Tongue tied when I called your name
How could have I forgot about it
Time flies when you waste away
But I know you don’t see it
Because you build me up
Just to tear me down
All that time spent waiting for something
Because it’s all I know
Now I’m letting go
Of all that time we wasted

Who am I to you?
Just different shades of blue
Your perfect colorway
A gradient of me
You painted above you
And what am I to say?
When all the color fades
A perfect shade of gray
That turned into nothing
And faded above you

So where do we go
Now that I’m all alone just staring down at my feet
Overthinking how they got me where I’ve come to be now
Sleeping on the floor again
And wondering when the f*ck this ends
Spinning around my head
While I just keep on asking myself

Who am I to you?
Just different shades of blue
Your perfect colorway
A gradient of me
You painted above you
And what am I to say
When all the color fades
A perfect shade of gray
That turned into nothing
And faded above you
Above you…

gradient

Days to Waste

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