patrick star in his FEELINGS (this shit fire)

state 2 state

prod by me :)

lyrics:

i just woke up from a dream
where i got to hold your hand
hold my head up while we're out
i really doubt you'd understand

spin my wheels out
lost traction
don't know how to feel now
caught up in reaction
you told me forever
it's not lasting
i just feel like dead weight 
pretend i didn't happen

i'll have to hold myself
i don't got no friends if u couldn't tell
i could say my feelings but it wouldn't help
so i'll change my dreams just to make it sell

looking for a way out
nothing's gonna change now
take me to ur lakehouse 
remind me all i hate bout you
i know its fake now
but i dont wanna face that truth
been 7 days now 
is it too late to facetime you

i didnt like what i saw in the mirror 
so i made someone and i hope that i wont fear her
i wrote a song about it listen till my ears hurt
no matter what the message isnt getting clearer

never wanna talk if it's not your turn
never gonna stop just to hear me hurt
cause it's what i got its what i deserve
tryna take my heart boy you got some nerve

i'll have to hold myself
i don't got no friends if u couldn't tell
i could say my feelings but it wouldn't help
so i'll change my dreams just to make it sell

looking for a way out
nothing's gonna change now
take me to ur lakehouse 
remind me all i hate bout you
i know its fake now
but i dont wanna face that truth
been 7 days now 
is it too late to facetime you

(cause i've been)
looking for a way out
nothing's gonna change now
take me to ur lakehouse 
remind me all i hate bout you
i know its fake now
but i dont wanna face that truth
been 7 days now 
is it too late to facetime you

lakehouse

[intro]
watchin me bleed know you wont care at all
once called you my love but now youre fuckin gone
grab a knife and press it down
into my chest
fall asleep without a sound
so i can rest

[hook]
i can never sleep 
ive been starin at my walls
ive been feelin pretty weak
tippin over i might fall

so hide your face
watch you try to rearrange
feelin stuck inside the middle
been goin at this shit for days

okay you know i 
i only wanted a chance
i would travel for you baby 
if you gave me a map

cause ive been searchin 
for too long for true love
took my soul
hope you sold for the true cost

[verse]
for you girl id give my life into your hands
keep on stressin over you im not well
im not well
im not well

give me the closure im seekin
give me your heart its your love that im needin 
what a shame it ends this way
i lost control 

grab a knife and press it down
into my chest
fall asleep without a sound
so i can rest

[hook]
i can never sleep 
ive been starin at my walls
ive been feelin pretty weak
tippin over i might fall

so hide your face
watch you try to rearrange
feelin stuck inside the middle
been goin at this shit for days

okay you know i 
i only wanted a chance
i would travel for you baby 
if you gave me a map

cause ive been searchin 
for too long for true love
took my soul
hope you sold for the true cost

[outro]
okay you know i 
i only wanted a chance
i would travel for you baby 
if you gave me a map

cause ive been searchin 
for too long for true love
took my soul
hope you sold for the true cost

SPOTIFY

inertia (grayskies)

ily all <3
LYRICS:
there aint really places left to go
im stuck inside my home 
home alone macauly culkin
i wanna cry alone 
maybe some time alone
either way you know im a keep smokin 
i probably die alone
a cup of styrofoam
in my had you probably think im jokin
when it comes to attention 
i always need to play center
the last name noah first name joakim

in my head i toss and turn till the morning
i cant deal with these feelings they feel foreign 
goddamn it everythings feelin boring 
i look outside my window yea the rain is pouring 
i tell myself itll get better by tomorrow 
the fake promises fill me with sorrow 
too many bitches in the past took my heart 
and left it borrowed 
who the fuck is that i feel like nardo 

i keep screaming as im running forward 
i hope it takes somewhere better 
than ive ever been before 
but ive been fuckin everywhere 
damn there aint really shit left to look at man 
i dont give a fuck anymore 
i put my all into this shit like 2 or 3 times 
and i still aint get nowhere 
it aint no fair 
but i dont care 
where to go from here there aint nowhere 

can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 

honestly i let myself down
i let judgment get so cloudy with self doubt 
forgot to wash away the fears when they come around
i shouldve listened to my own advice i cant 
yea im dirtier than dan 
just a product of my city tryna be what i can
here i go putting blame on everything but myself
yea i truly need help 
but i dont never wanna get it nah nah 

the creepy crawlies coming out at night 
i cant act like im surprised 
look between my eyes
i aint in disguise 
pain keeps repeating in my head 100 times 
i hope i know the day i die
so i can thank everyone who help me stay alive 
at the same time apologize for all the ruined lives
i dont know what im doing in this life 
but i dont wanna do it anymore 

in my head i toss and turn till the morning
i cant deal with these feelings they feel foreign 
goddamn it everythings feelin boring 
i look outside my window yea the rain is pouring 
i tell myself itll get better by tomorrow 
the fake promises fill me with sorrow 
too many bitches in the past took my heart 
and left it borrowed 
who the fuck is that i feel like nardo 

i keep screaming as im running forward 
i hope it takes somewhere better 
than ive ever been before 
but ive been fuckin everywhere 
damn there aint really shit left to look at man 
i dont give a fuck anymore 
i put my all into this shit like 2 or 3 times 
and i still aint get nowhere 
it aint no fair 
but i dont care 
where to go from here there aint nowhere 

can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
can you let me out 
let me out 
let me out 
let me out 

there aint really places left to go
im stuck inside my home 
home alone macauly culkin
i wanna cry alone 
maybe some time alone
either way you know im a keep smokin 
i probably die alone
a cup of styrofoam
in my had you probably think im jokin
when it comes to attention 
i always need to play center
the last name noah first name joakim (x2)

joakim*

prod: shade08
lyrics:
i see something else
i see something else entirely
i'm tryna stay sane, but i swear my mind tryna fight me
it's fucking up my life and the people that around me
but imma fight it back like a DIY lobotomy

A FUCKING IDIOT
WALK AROUND THE WORLD LIKE YOU'RE STUPID!
my life is alone and i'm the permanent new kid
i'm new bis (business), moving , open for some observation
if i look in your direction better know that i am-
GRACING YOU!
BLESSING YOU!
like a god in the sky, i'm a god in disguise
heh, jk
that's just a "JOKE" i play
[L.M.A.O.]

ive been pulling out my own hair, again x7
ive been pulling out my o-o-o-o-o

tell me a story that i haven't told you
please, think for yourself 'fore i fucking control you
ive done so much wrong don't think i can go back
(ᵖᴼˢᵀᵉᴰ ᵂᶦᵀʰ ˢʰ⁰⁰ᵀᵉʳˢ, ᵍᴼᵀ ᵍᵁⁿˢ ᵒᴺ ᵐʸ ᴮᵃᶜᵏ)
i'm trying to make sure you never come back
but you keep following me

keep following me
why's that?
i can tell you why....
it's cuz

i see something else
i see something else entirely
i'm tryna stay sane, but i swear my mind tryna fight me
it's fucking up my life and the people that around me
but imma fight it back like a DIY lobotomy

A FUCKING IDIOT
WALK AROUND THE WORLD LIKE YOU'RE STUPID!
my life is alone and i'm the permanent new kid
i'm new bis (business), moving , open for some observation
if i look in your direction better know that i am-
GRACING YOU!
BLESSING YOU!
like a god in the sky, i'm a god in disguise
heh, fuck you!
you are all some peasants that i force to do my bidding

new kid

prod mix master written by me

stream everywhere else too


Lyrics:
Ooo, ooo
Oh just watch me fall apart
Oh just watch me
Ooh oh

I feel wrung out
Ive run outta energy
It was too loud
Gotta Take a step back
Embrace the fallout
Oh its probably my fault but I dont care
Anymore, mm

And i’m not tired I’m just out of it
Ive been spending most my time tryna get a grip
And I’m just worried that my parents gettin sick of it
How the fuck can I go on now?

I give up
Don’t try to fix me
My brains gone numb
You try to touch me but your kiss just kinda stung
I understand you but I feel so dumb
(I feel so fucking dumb)

So bite your tongue
I know you’ll miss me but i’m too far (gone)
Misunderstand me saying “you’re so fuckin tough!”
but I’ve already given up

I cut my teeth over my intentions I 
(Got) no sleep over my whole weekend cause you
Watch me fall apart at the seams
Is this a dream?

(What’s happening?)

(I cannot) hold myself too high
(Feel something) eating me from the insides
(Why do I?) always seem to play the bad guy
You make me the enemy just to cope in your mind

(Watchu say?)

And i’m not tired I’m just out of it
Ive been spending most my time tryna get a grip
And I’m just worried that my parents gettin sick of it
How the fuck can I go on now?

I give up
Don’t try to fix me
My brains gone numb
You try to touch me but your kiss just kinda stung
I understand you but I feel so dumb
(I feel so fucking dumb)

So bite your tongue
I know you’ll miss me but i’m too far gone
Misunderstand me saying “you’re so fuckin tough!”
but I’ve already given up

Ooo, ooo
Oh just watch me fall apart
Oh just watch me
Ooh oh
Mm

i give up lmao

OUT NOW: distrokid.com/hyperfollow/leytonxswazy/im-sorry-that-u-tried

produced by @swazyhq

lyrics:

the blossoms always sprung
locked in ur bedroom in the spring
hide so they won’t find us
cry while i take the bus home

i tried to write it all down
so i could get it all out
i tripped and dropped all of my pages
fly away as i fall down

get back up i don’t know how
the rain on my window sounds so loud
lately i’ve been sleeping to ignore it 
face down in the front yard while it’s pouring 

cause i can’t afford the time that i’m stealing
late night while i’m staring at the ceiling
is it real or just a feeling
can anybody hear me

i never took care of myself 
you saw and you would always try to help
no one tried quite like you did
but i’m not something you can fix

now i see the whole time i was sick
you always stayed right by my side but that’s not a way to live 
i don’t wanna make u cry cause it’s nothing that u did 
i’m just sorry that u tried i was living out a lie

i always hid it all under the surface
i should’ve called it off u don’t deserve this 
but how could i stop us from falling we were perfect 
we couldn’t help but give it all swear we were burning

i’m sorry swear i didn’t try to call u
my finger slipped while i was tryna change the volume 
i know i’m in the wrong, shoulda made it stop but i went too long
now i never wanna hear that shit again, i hate all my songs 

now im back got me thinking of the past what i did wrong
come in last all the chances that i had, call this shit off
got me sad, all the times i let you down got me pissed off
wrote it down, swear i’m gonna drown in the list of

i cant look back, swear i’m doing what i have to do
i lost my track, really thought that things would last with you
hiding when i go out, crying in the bathroom
you don’t ever slow down, life is flying pst you

im sorry that u tried (p. swazy*)

fun corefish wall of sound 
smth a little different, just kinda made for fun :3

𝗹𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘀:


i try to be useless 
don't stare at the nuisance 
i keep falling back
but the track 
isn't fruitless 
i ran through the tulips
couldn't tomb my amusement 
guess i'm folding in two
discretion gone with the movement 

through it cause i'm lucid, and
took a long good look at the place i moved in 
and i knew it 
never wanted to show my face in a room 
cook a tune 
my fate was feeling loose
think this shit could be a test, man
fuck my life i don't wanna play the rest 
think i lost my 

mind in a suit and tie 
didn't know the tide went south 
i was stupefied 
everything inside was out
now the stupid guy 
playing with a mic is out  
could get scrutinized
every nook and dime was dealt 



𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗯𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗺

fruitless

https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/oldcollin/cope 

prod KBL
mastered by anem0s

lyrics:

Think you’re right (think you’re right)
People change, feelings fade given time
But I don’t mind
Change my name, take a break, give the wrong advice

Scrape my face on the pavement
Not playing it safe when
I feel so complacent
There just ain’t no way that
I got replaced and
My heart’s still vacant
What the fuck am I saying?

Pay no mind 
To the way that I cope when I’m falling behind
Fake my life
All the weight on my shoulders is gone when I die
Least I tried

Guess if this was your plan then you fucked it up
Was it not enough for you to hold that shit over my head?
Ain’t no place that I’d rather be than reality
No new mentality (still wish I were dead)
Pulled you out like a cavity and I felt the gravity
That I’m just a coward that’s all that I (wish I had said)
There’s no place for neutrality, A new felt duality
When I got nobody to blame but myself

Pay no mind 
To the way that I cope when I’m falling behind
Fake my life
All the weight on my shoulders is gone when I died
Least I tried
Pay no mind (ain't no place that I’d rather be)
To the way that I cope (than reality, no new mentality)
When I’m falling behind
Fake my life
All the weight on my shoulders is gone when I died
Least I tried

Heard you tried to say you’re sorry I
Tried to ignore you
Like something that’s not important
So maybe I’m holding onto a grudge
That I shouldn’t but I will
I couldn’t swallow your pill
There’s no assurance in hell
So if you tell me you’re down for the count let it all go
No missing out, running ‘round in a circle
Can’t hold me down, run your mouth, jump a hurdle
Get out of town, headed south, because it was
Always you

cope (kbl)

prod credits.
me
cole calico
sxth sns
dramatrial
billsburyjoeboi

LYRICS: 
i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating aint my strong suit i guess that im sorry

man fuck that shit i sent so many damn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw'em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth

i aint gon lie like i dont miss you for a single second
but you aint think before the knots to type a single message
hypocrisy i know im spitting yes i need a lesson
but since your gone man who my teacher hope you see me stressing
thinking about you every second yea thats what you wanted 
i shouldve felt the narcissism from the first few punches
do not talk family with me i fucking hate the subject 
what if i killed myself to figure out if i meant something 
you'd of told me i meant nothing 

i used to say you were the best mother 
and to this day i still try not to think much less of you
but its not easy with you not here telling me to run away 
from what im heading towards
i used to think i was the one that burnt the bridge of course
but its in my head now super clear how you were wielding torches
how you built me up and knocked me down made me feel less important
how you tied that noose around your neck before giving me notice 

now it would only take 2 seconds just to hit me up 
i'd probably respond too late but you dont give a fuck 
sometimes i wish i was the one that found you hanging up
i keep calling and hanging up

i wish i had another chance to say i love you 
cuz at this point inside my head im like fuck you
thought i could trust you 
never been more wrong in my life i wish it wasn't true

but i still breakdown wishing that it wasnt you
in my head i been so alone my thoughts are skewed 
can't deny i been in this pain for at least 2 
long years i don't think they're ending soon 
might as well put the gun to my head
and pull the trigger i might get to see you
my dad keep telling me im wrong
he probably right but i don't know if i wanna be here long
yea i wish you could hear this i know it would be your favorite song 
or maybe thats just my ego speaking you know where i get it from
ask me what i do it for?

yea it used to be you but now i don't really know anymore
i could tell you the truth but i know your not there to hear it no more
and if you were here you wouldn't wanna hear it it would bring you
to the floor, i dont really care no more 
you was finna leave me anyway 
through me off the cliff as a featherweight
don't act like it aint take nothing
i dont went through it in a heavy way
feeling naked running through the heavy rain
what the fuck was going on with my brain
they wonder why i made headaches shit
i was really truly going insane

i spent 2 years tryna reconcile
as if its possible to do so i went through the trials
im fresh off bullet wounds and scars love ones left on my body
communicating aint my strong suit i guess that im sorry

man fuck that shit i sent so many damn apologies to you
green bubbles hit harder when i saw'em come through
convinced myself you had an android all along call me insane
but it was easier than dealing with the truth

it really pissed me off when you killed yourself

unfortunately this will be the last thing i will ever release anywhere. this demo has been sitting in my files and i wanted to just put it out there, especially after my music has been deleted from all platforms. to anybody and everybody who has supported me and my passion, thank you so much and i wish you all the best! 
- ilytwelve/blank

prod. blank

lyrics:
it felt so wrong
until now
mind at peace
through sound
it's been so long 
since i've seen your smile
watch the weeds 
grow all wild
and oh i adored your face 
that never changed 
the river banks 
had our names on them
so here i am waiting 
for darkness to fade 
silence to say
to let go.

yellow ( demo )

audio diary of my teenage years + improvement log.

new kid

daywatch

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merak

BNH DELUXE

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