ingestion

derealization

Simple Beat Catch Groove

AllForYou

i'll try my hardest.
______
stab me in the back, i ain't talking acupuncture
really hate this headache imma punch me in my frontal lobe
i don't know why i was scared of you we grew up from the same roots and
i guess it's just been a long time

how long i gotta wait for you to realize the time ain't nigh?
do it now or you won't survive!

i don't know why i run away from you
i guess i'm scared of you getting critical
everyday i really try to improve myself, but it doesn't help
no, i keep falling back
and i'm fighting battles that don't need to be fought
but they distract me from thoughts
that only appear in the silence
they remind me of who i am
everyday i really try to improve myself 
but it doesn't help

i guess it's just been a long time!!

how long i gotta wait for you to realize the time ain't nigh?
do it now or you won't survive!

I stare at the knife
bear the ridges down on flesh
catharsis through the red
drown the voices of my dread

I've been waking up late again
It's pathetic, I've regretted how I've waited for months
to act on this hunch, hell, might be years if i overthought it this much
the singes on my skin, they worsen up the longer i stay pissing me off
i will not learn unless something is off
i'm getting tired of hating my phone, i'm getting tired of going on ghost
what if resigning and hanging my coat
could be the thing that stops the boat from tipping
all the times I've broken hearts
sometimes i think i'm just playing my part
sometimes i think i just gotta give it-

(time)
(everything i give...)
(everything i give is time)
(i guess it's just been a long time, since I've seen you)

(thanks @ilysh1ne for the vocal samples :)

buy :0

zippermouth

no company prod poem

Session2

don't care (@1dammittony x @icebbaby0)

and it starts all over, all over again.
____________________________________
It's hard trying to right my wrongs
It's almost like you want me to stay here with you
Almost like, It's almost like you love me
I know you
You could never love me
Nah, i could never love me
You think that it's funny when it isn't
You cannot afford to be complacent
But guess it's all fine 'cus i'm holding you, now
Above my head like i always should've
I'm so close, yet so far
No, i wanna cleanse it all, but i'm me

So, my hands get sweaty and i can't speak, only in tongues
I want to be so much more than i am
Oh, but it's hard

How many times am i gonna tell myself that i'm 'gon pick it back up?
How many times am i gonna tell myself that i'm 'gon leave it once i'm done with it
One more time

One breath
One more time
One more time
One last time
One last time

two breaths

i never feel like me.
____________________
I guess everyone's sick of the guise 
Water drips out of my faucet
Bet it's mimicking the way that i lost it
Like it's something i wanted

For the first time in my life i'm being serious
When i'm giving you all of my time don't be oblivious
Poker face boy tell me what you want
'Cause your actions ain't obvious
You lash out at the backtalk when it's copious
Bet you're just looking for the "go ahead"
Well, go ahead!

I can't talk to you (nah, nah)
I refuse to open up, nah, 'cus now i know
Even when i try it's always short-lived, but maybe that's the point
A little bit of love, maybe that's the ploy
I'm training my body to search & destroy
The fond in my pan defines who i am
It's all me

Get off me, fuck soul searching
There isn't a reason why i am me
I am hated and loved equally just like every other human being
Something in me wants to be more
I look around and see that everyone's ascending
Is there something they have that i don't?
Should i even care when i hit a new low?

When i cut my wrist, is it real or just for show?
When i take Prozac, is it real or placebo?
When i drop mid, is it okay 'cus it's from my soul?
And if it's not, did these past three years mean anything at all?

Skin's made of rocks, protecting me
Swear to god when everyone's around the heaven makes a beam
Now they tryna tell me i'm crazy, but i've seen it
I'm the one who hears it when they're whispering
So, talk to me louder
I'm the only person on this earth that really matters right now
I'll face my town and show you why i'm proud

I guess everyone's sick of my guise, god damn
The water drips out my faucet
I bet it's mocking the way that i lost it
Like i wanted this
For the first time in my life i'm being serious
When i'm giving you all of my time don't be delirious
No, i can't talk to you
Every time i get burned it's on me
I'm forgetting everything like how you care for me
And how i love my family, and the one i choose

inauthentic

then let's go to war.
_____________________
I ain't losing this, i don't care what you found
Right now, i'm ten toes down
In my mind a battlefield, put them fists up
All my boys turn to stone, now
Where Medusa?
Put them dukes up, i don't wan't you leaving less you bloodied
I don't see you with nobody, why is that?
Why is that?

Is it cause you stuck to me?
I won't fall for that i'm no longer fifteen
Thinking up a new scheme
We swarm around from the back
I'm not giving you anytime to respond
Swallow your apologies
Even if you mean it you'll be wrong

And when were on the floor bloodied
You would laugh and tell me we're the same one
And you would dish out the same love that i swore i wouldn't give anyone
I still love myself, i still love myself, baby
I just don't know how to show it in the way you want me to, i
And i know it's gonna take time for you, oh
For you to know
That i got my own way, own way, i

TIME OUT

wrong

you want to kill me?
______________________
I'm ready to explode
Collar bomb grips my neck and you hold the go
So, what are you waiting for?
Do you want me to cry my eyes out?
I've seen this coming a mile away, everything you do is explained to me
By a birdie who gets sick by the sound of their name
So, you need me more than anything

You can't cure me, i'm no disease
You can't touch me, but you're feeling me
Can't kill me, i'm no man
I'm poison, right now i'm in your hands

You down it without hesitation
I'll down it without hesitation
One breath is all i need to erase it
I'll prove that you're just my creation

one breath

too good to put on @drgnlr lmao
og  https://soundcloud.com/iamhxmesick/threat
@iamhxmesick

threat cover

produced by mitsa

lyrics :

Oh, you're back again?
Leave your messages on read
I don't want us again
I wish you would just take a hint

I know you miss those days
And the way you conversed me
I really hope you change
I hope to meet again someday

No matter what I say
Don't make sense to your brain
It makes me disappointed
Cuz' I know you haven't changed
No you haven't changed
No you haven't changed
No you haven't changed

Couple weeks to a month
Hopefully soon I'll be gone
I lock the door and I run
Bruises from slipping in mud
I know it's been years
And I hope you're ok
But I still forgive you
Even though you hurt me
You hurt ME

bruises

22.08.25 - week ten of a demo a week for a year. Recorded and mixed in a Parisian bedroom.

two breaths

daywatch

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