the bass guitar reminds me of tame impala

dream alt

Carpop

Floating While Dreaming (feat. Frecks)

HOUSE OF CARDS

Heavy Heart

It is a maze of old regrets, forgotten fears, and parts of myself that I dare not face. Some paths I know too well—each step, each twist and turn carved from memories I can’t seem to escape. It’s where the unanswered questions live, the ones that echo in the silence when I lie awake at night, unsure if I’ll ever find an answer. Why did I stay when I should have left? Why did I speak when silence would’ve been enough? The walls hum with these unspoken things, their rhythm lulling me into an uneasy dance with my past.

But there are places in this labyrinth that have never ventured out to, hidden chambers that have remained sealed for years. There are parts of me, raw and untouched, waiting to be discovered—or maybe never to be seen at all. I can feel them, just out of reach, like fragments of a dream that dissolve as soon as I try to grasp them. They tug at the edges of my mind, urging me to explore deeper, to face the parts of myself that I have locked away in the darkest corners. But each time I get close, a part of me recoils, afraid of what might be found.

The air in the labyrinth is thick, heavy with a strange mix of longing and despair. I can hear the faint whispers of others—shadows of people who once walked beside me, echoes of voices I cannot place, reminders of paths not taken. They linger, these figures, just beyond the light of my awareness. I reach out to them, hoping to find a guide, but they are elusive, slipping through my fingers like sand.

There are moments when the labyrinth feels too small, as if I could collapse it all into nothing with a single, desperate push. And yet, there are other moments, longer stretches of time, when it feels infinite, an endless stretch of corridors that I will never fully understand. The further I go, the more disorienting it becomes. I lose track of time, of direction, of who I am in the midst of all the twisting. Is this still me, or have I become the shadow I chase?

I often wonder if it always been here, lurking beneath the surface of my thoughts, waiting for the right moment to emerge. Or perhaps it grows with me, each step I take leaving behind new twists, new turns, new rooms. It is a creation of my own making, a reflection of the pieces of myself that I cannot fully reconcile, a map of my own mind in its most fragmented form.

And sometimes, when I stand still, when I listen to the silence in the darkness, I wonder if it is not just something I am trapped in. Maybe it is a place I belong to, a shadow that has always been a part of me, a part I cannot shake no matter how hard I try. Maybe the trick is not to escape it, but to learn how to walk through it without fear, to move with the shadows rather than against them.

It is the shape of me, the silhouette of my own soul etched into the walls of time, stretching into infinity. And maybe, just maybe, the only way out is to stop looking for the exit at all.






Shadow Self

Already Gone

Produced and mixed by Bruno Major and Phairo
Written by Jonny Lattimer
Mastered by Matt Colton at Alchemy Mastering
Artwork by Robert Shuttleworth
_________________________________________

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_________________________________________
We were playing twenty one
In the pitch black of a country night
I was struck like a drum
and I rolled my eyes trying to sit tight

I was dangerously tangled second time I met
Now I’m so impatient to adore you
I crashed my car last night

We were drinking warm wine
From paper cups that we left outside
God I wished you were mine
As your skin light up in the sunrise

I was dangerously tangled second time I met
Now I’m so impatient to adore you
I crashed my car last night

So dangerously tangled second time I met
Now I’m so impatient to adore you
I crashed my car last night

Second Time

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lyrics~

down below
my thoughts can wander and i
let go
i don’t need much in my life
i know
i like it better underwater

ive been drowning in anemone
here you’ll never get the best of me
ive been drowning in anemone
breathing deep 
breathing deep

down below
sandy like the ocean floor
quiet like i like it
here ill never be alone

i pause my life
i spend my time
its always right
its never wrong to try

it’s been alright
ive been alright

but here its better
i heal better

i like it better underwater
send me underwater


feeling little pulls
wont get the best of me so 
la la la lets go
a little destiny 
to tell you what you know
a fatal recipe of life

dreaming ‘bout a place 
where i can be by myself

anemone

Lyrics:

She's falling asleep
in my arms tonight
she's stuck in a dream
she's searching for the light
& i don't know why
i can't get her off my mind

her eyes would say the strangest things to me
her love is all i really need to be.

it starts with a smile
that's always how it seems
so i'll be your fire
as long as you know when to put me out
i've never been higher
than when i'm with you on your cloud

her eyes would say the strangest things to me
her love is all i really need to be.

please notice me
i've been so lonely
baby i see
just what you need

her eyes would say the strangest things to me
her love is all i ever really need to be.

Written, recorded, produced, mixed by Sebastian Ruiz (Deaf Dreamer).

Cover art by Geo Salazar.

1/18/18

I am changing, can you even tell? 
I feel so surreal in the midnight spell 
Dreaming as I held your hand, I felt so high 
As we drove, I fell just harder into love 
A memory that faded from the night 

When the moon comes up 
And the sun goes down 
I'm still wondering 
Where are you now? 
I look at the sky 
And the stars surround 
I see my dreams 
Of when you were around 

I am dreaming of a better time 
Friends ask if I'm okay 
I say I'm fine 
Thoughts stay as I think of you 
Nowhere to be seen 
I'm too shy to even open up 
I just want to say that you look cute in green 

When the moon comes up 
And the sun goes down 
I'm still wondering 
Where are you now? 
I look at the sky 
And the stars surround 
I see my dreams 
Of when you were around

Dreaming

Lyrics:

never did you’d think you’d find a way
to make it out alive and plan your escape
it’s 4am and we’re wide awake
today.
waiting on luck from a shooting star
praying out loud and from the heart
you never ever thought you’d go this far
without...

ignoring who you are
living through a mental cage
forgetting what’s most important to you

it’s so hard to choose
the words to say to you
all i wanna do with you is venture through the night (“hi.”)

skipping all the steps that you won’t regret
finding out a way different from what they said
make your own mark even if you’ve shed a tear
never did you’d think you’d find a way
to make it out alive and plan your escape
it’s 4am and we’re wide awake
today.

death is not your fear (no)
if your mind is clear of
all the evil thoughts
that haunt you when you’re lost

it’s so hard to choose
the words to say to you
all i wanna do with you is venture through the night (“hi.”)
​
Written, recorded, produced, & performed by Sebastian Ruiz (Deaf Dreamer)

venture

Deaf Dreamer - “libra moon” (prod. Deaf Dreamer)

Lyrics:

Did you bring the alcohol?
We’ll see ourselves from a waterfall
Coming down, with the tide
Running wild on through the night 
I’m picking up an ounce tonight
Let’s smoke some later so bring your light
High on mars, we’ve taken flight
Ascending visions on through the night

When you stare
It makes me feel so comfortable 
In your eyes I see myself
All the time
Anytime you need a sign to be reassured 
I’ll find a way to give my love
In a different way
If it’s not enough to change your mind

It’s your life
In your mind
You’re the one who decides
You’re the one who decides

Did you bring the alcohol?
We’ll see ourselves from a waterfall
Coming down, with the tide
Running wild on through the night 
I’m picking up an ounce tonight
Let’s smoke some later so bring your light
High on mars, we’ve taken flight
Ascending visions on through the night

It’s up to you to tell the truth
Don’t be afraid, afraid to say
What you want to my face
I’ll understand you either way

It’s your life
In your mind
You’re the one who decides
You’re the one who decides

Did you bring the alcohol?
We’ll see ourselves from a waterfall
Coming down, with the tide
Running wild on through the night 
I’m picking up an ounce tonight
Let’s smoke some later so bring your light
High on mars, we’ve taken flight
Ascending visions on through the night

Close the door
Ignore the chore
You’re my amor
That I adore
Close the door
Ignore the chore
You’re my amor
That I adore

Written, recorded, & produced by Sebastian Ruiz (Deaf Dreamer).

libra moon

Lyrics:

You never have to feel alone
Just hit me up to go and smoke
And talk about the things we want
But yet they never seem to come

Hello, welcome to my world
Woah, it's going in swirls
I know it hurts letting go
Of you my dear

I'll let you know when I'm okay
Cuz I don't want to live like this
Without your kiss upon my lips
I feel like I just don't exist

Take me back to when we knew
How it felt to find ourselves
By the water from our dreams
It's hard to tell what all this means

I'll keep your secrets safe with me
I trust in you as equally
Don't doubt the bliss when feeling this
Emotion to reminisce

Hello, welcome to my world
Woah, it's going in swirls
I know it hurts letting go
Of you my dear

I'll let you know when I'm okay
Cuz I don't want to live like this
Without your kiss upon my lips
I feel like I just don't exist
I'll keep your secrets safe with me
I trust in you as equally
Don't doubt the bliss when feeling this
Emotion to reminisce

venture

Deaf Dreamer

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