BOY WH0RE

crybox

HOW HIGH

listen on spotify:
open.spotify.com/track/0lTZgDcJMz…-xRl-uaNH3RWn5ug

listen on apple music:
music.apple.com/us/album/1604753515?i=1604753516

“favorite boy” demo version
(wrote this song about self-worth and expectations because of family arguments)
🚕
I called a cab that night and never looked back
how do you expect me to be okay like that?
oh you’re always carelessly cruel
you’re making everything so complicated
I’m starting to think love is overrated
oh all I know is I don’t know
☹️
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
🧳
I packed up everything except your money
cause that’s the only thing you thought that I need
but oh you’re not what you thought you’re worth
🧗🏻
and I know this is all about the climb
I’ll dig my grave another time
and I know that you’re designed
to be cold unless I know
🤴🏻
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
🥺
you won’t want to live without me
but you don’t even care about me
I tried to be in your dream
but I’m a ghost that haunts your sleep at night
you won’t want to live without me
but you don’t even care about me
I don’t really wanna be
an awful scent that never leaves tonight 
🌄
this is all about the climb
I’ll dig my grave another time
and I know that you’re designed
to be cold unless I know
🌻
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
😭
wanna be your favorite boy
end up as your favorite toy

favorite boy

🚕 favorite boy (demo)

"arcade" by duncan laurence ft. fletcher lyrics
🎧
watch me sing it here: https://youtu.be/DOHlz8a7Oho
my spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4sFiaUdDNFg0DhJjN6riEB?si=U4bWok-bRcy07Nv5MDy4Dw&dl_branch=1
my apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/artist/nonas/1553582450?l=en
🕹
a broken heart is all that's left
i'm still fixing all the cracks
lost a couple of pieces when
i carried it, carried it, carried it home
i'm afraid of all i am
my mind feels like a foreign land
silence ringing inside my head
please, carry me, carry me, carry me home

i've spent all of the love i saved
we were always a losing game
small-town boy in a big arcade
i got addicted to a losing game

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game

do you love me, or love me not?
peeling piecеs from my heart
and my rose-colored lеns is gone
Still I carry, I carry, I carry on

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game

i don't need your games, game over
get me off this rollercoaster

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Arcade

arcade (loving you is a losing game) by duncan laurence ft. fletcher

☁️ cloud 9 by beach bunny lyrics

I don't wanna seem the way I do
But I'm confident when I'm with you
Lately all I feel is bad and bruised
Tired of tripping on my shoes

But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

When I start to tumble from the sky
You remind me how to fly
Lately, I've been feeling un-alive
But you bring me back to life

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

follow me if you want 👇🏽
instagram: http://instagram.com/xdmud

cloud 9 by beach bunny

places you won't walk 
15.06.21
written and produced by me 

met you in august when my hurt was new
is it funny how the universe... 🌍
kept us company in the worst of time
now i want your complications too 🫂

got issues packed like cigarettes 
so i dress up to hide the mess
and I stayed in my room, and my eyes are black and blue 😢
i cross my heart, hope for the best
i’m watching everyone finesse
just hope you’ll never think lightly of me 

all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey cause no one really stayed
I’m thinking what are the odds to know someone who knows all the words
to my favourite sza songs 🎶
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone 

old summer love was out of my reaches
but i know you’re just a school away 🚌
still find it strange that you get my humor 👯
cause nobody here has ever did 🎥

got issues packed like cigarettes 
so i dress up to hide the mess
now I crash in your room, and you watch a show i choose 🖥
i cross my heart, hope for the best
i’m watching the way we finesse 
just say you’ll never think lightly of me 🙏🏼

all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey cause no one really stayed
i wanna know how it feels to be living on your own so I... 🥐
come and see you time to time
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone
🚶🏻
babe, i always thought life would get better but it’s all same
i think i’ll feel better if you like what i wrote to you
all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey but i want you to stay...

why do people tend to leave? is it me or everybody else??? 😞
no, it’s everybody else 😃
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone

places you won't walk

🥐 places you won't walk

"solar power" lyrics

i hate the winter, can't stand the cold
i tend to cancel all the plans (so sorry, i can't make it)
but when the heat comes, something takes a hold
can i kick it? yeah, i can

my cheeks in high colour, overripe peaches
no shirt, no shoes, only my features
my boy behind me, he's taking pictures
lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
come one, come all, i'll tell you my secrets
i'm kinda like a prettier jesus

forget all of the tears that you've cried
it's over (over, over, over)
it's a new state of mind
are you coming, my baby?

acid green, aquamarine
the girls are dancing in the sand
and i throw my cellular device in the water
can you reach me? no, you can't (aha)

my cheeks in high colour, overripe peaches
no shirt, no shoes, only my features
my boy behind me, he's taking pictures (he's taking pictures)
lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
come one, come all, i'll tell you my secrets
i'm kinda like a prettier jesus

turn it on in a new kind of bright
it's solar (solar, solar, solar)
come on and let the bliss begin
blink three times when you feel it kicking in

that solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power

watch me cover this here: https://youtu.be/zFOs7rWM4Dk

solar power by lorde

lyrics to "traitor"
watch me sing the song here 🥺: youtu.be/fHJnE1Xf0gM

brown guilty eyes and little white lies
yeah, i played dumb but i always knew
that you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse
i kept quiet so i could keep you
and ain't it funny
how you ran to her
the second that we called it quits?
and ain't it funny
how you said you were friends?
now it sure as hell don't look like it
you betrayed me
and i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still a traitor
now you bring her around
just to shut me down
show her off like she's a new trophy
and i know if you were true
there's no damn way that you
could fall in love with somebody that quickly
ain't it funny
all the twisted games
all the questions you used to avoid?
ain't it funny?
remember i brought her up
and you told me i was paranoid
you betrayed me
and i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still a traitor
god, i wish that you had thought this through
before i went and fell in love with you
(ah-ah-ah)
when she's sleeping in the bed we made
don't you dare forget about the way
you betrayed me
'cause i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
you gave me your word
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still
you're still a traitor (ah-ah-ah)
yeah, you're still a traitor
ooh-ooh-ooh
god, i wish that you had thought this through
before i went and fell in love with you

traitor

traitor by olivia rodrigo

2021.07.09 "cry baby" written and produced by me
(this song is about looking back on a failed relationship with teary eyes)

lyrics:
💧
it was in the summer, in the mid-july
we were cooking for your brother in the kitchen light
no miscalculation, we’re aligned
i was everything you ever wanted
😔
looking back at the mistakes we’ve made
it all could’ve ended up in a much better way
only took a week to call me babe
and you put me down after you tasted it
🧎🏻
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
😭
we would rule the kingdom in your kingsized bed
and i couldn’t help myself but give you head
and i should’ve taken back a thousand steps
but it’s the last thing I’d rather do
🛌
the way your eyelashes fall when you’re focused
the way you shut the world off, throw your phone cause
we felt we what we’re supposed to feel
til we found out this isn’t real
😕
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
stop a train for you
jump a bridge for you
kill a bitch for you
🔪
and i got tears like the shooting stars
fell apart and gave me scars
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would die for you
i’ll be the nightmare from next door
crying show up at your door
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would cry
💀
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
💧

cry baby

cry baby (slow version) 🥺

"best apology"
🎧
listen on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/70WVKGAkddRjQp9VfRe5Ub?si=c518821eb5764313
listen on apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/album/best-apology/1582701602?i=1582701603&l=en
📞
you phoned me at 3 in the morning
say you’re around at a parking spot
this time i had my doors boarded
locking you out really hurt a lot
stayed up all night and cursed your name twice
still i’m just somewhere you can stay
👣
 i’ve been over and over this feeling
i just wish that we could still work
know your sweet vows when we relapse
just like the back of my hand 
i’m so over and over this feeling
take you back only to get hurt
i watch you laugh when i collapse 
into the palm your hands
not again
👋🏼
wish we could rewind that June 5th
the scent of your hair still stuck in my hand
but now you’re somebody i can’t miss
i don’t know how long i can play pretend
so if we’re running on some borrowed time
the bravest thing i’ll do is run
🏃🏻‍♂️
cause my thoughts are linking up
you put me in and out like 
another plaything you use
whenever you show me a little love
want me to give it up like
another chance that i should never give
🤕 
i’ve been over and over this feeling
i just wish that we could still work
know your sweet vows when we relapse
just like the back of my hand
 i’m so over and over this feeling
take you back only to get hurt
i watch you laugh when i collapse 
into the palm your hands
🖕🏼
 you’ve come across and you crossed all my lines
and you ruined places i used to adore
you’d wear for me your best apology
from now on i’ll dress up a little bit more 
☺️
to make you miss me for some remedy
you got so bored so you chose to ignore
when i taught you the best apology 
is simply just get out of my face
🙅🏻‍♂️
over and over…
over and over

best apology

BOY WH0RE
(this yoonbum song will be on spotify very soon!!!)

Verse 1
Finally, somebody could end the free fall
Finally, somebody is not so evil
Loved you in the dark like the highlight
But now I know the secrets you’re hiding
Treat me like I’m a toy of your disposal
Win me like I’m another rusty medal 
Thought you want my love instead of torture
But you’re tricking people better than monsters do

chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore

Verse 2
You’re a boy whore, get bored when no one loves you anymore
All you wanna do is pin a boy down to the dirty floor
Boy whore like you, boy whore is you
People like me drained up by you
You like to see salt on the wound
But it felt more like a chainsaw to my neck instead

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
Boy whore

Bridge
Yeah you thought that you could play with me
Somewhat stay with me
But I see the jet-set list of men
I had dreams of you
Misbelief of you
Those are nightmares that I now regret…

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
Boy whore

Outro
Ah
Boy whore
And you’re so messed up, cold as a steel knife
Tape my mouth, you didn’t think twice
I’m all fucked up, cold as a steel knife
Tape my mouth, you should’ve thought twice

🔪BOY WH0RE

written and produced by nonas (aka me... ew)
finished in 8th Feb 2021
redone on 3rd Nov 2021

apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/purple-concert/1595559368?i=1595559369
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4y5fIOjbG0qLkJux60LCdW?si=MqStLtSQSUO_PJYXpbYiDw

“purple concert”
(I had a dream of me going to a concert with my crush, all i saw was lonely purple lights, so I woke up started writing this song)
🎫
i got us tickets to her concert, 31st of August
would you even wanna mmm go?
mmm and I don’t think that you’ll remember 
me in your black sweater
but i seem more vivid in your favorite shade
🥺
oh god, you look good as hell
could i be this bright as well?
they’ve lit a thousand fireworks but I’m only looking at you
😔
cause I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months since December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
now…
🎷
"...it is so pretty when you put your phones in the air with the lights on, it is just so pretty….."
🤩
my eyes were locked up to the wrong crowd 
cause I picture you in a crown with people going wild for us
but when I look right over my shoulder
I can’t even bother
cause it’s wrong to long for love that’s always gone
✨
but I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months since December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
🎺
our body's purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
in a crowd of strangers she gathered now
🦄
our body's purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
but we’re together now...

purple concert

purple concert 🎫

watch me sing the whole ass "all too well" here:
🥺🤍👉🏼 https://youtu.be/mqWCnLotous
thank you so so much for listening!!!

all too well (10 minute version) by taylor swift 🧣

written and produced by nonas (aka me... ew)
finished in April 2021
redone on 4th Jan 2022

listen on spotify: 
https://open.spotify.com/track/0lTZgDcJMz6rbQVoeFxLa2

listen on apple music:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/1604753515?i=1604753516

“favorite boy”

Verse 1
I called a cab that night and never looked back
How do you expect me to be okay like that?
Oh, you’re always carelessly cruel
You’re making everything so complicated
I’m starting to think love is overrated
Oh, all I know is I don’t know

Chorus
How to be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Verse 2
I packed up everything except your money
‘Cause that’s the only thing you thought that I need
And oh, you’re not what you thought you’re worth
And I know you don’t want me to go, go
But it’s too late for that call when I’m halfway out the door
Tell me

Chorus
How to be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Bridge
You don’t wanna live without me
But you don’t even care about me
I tried to be in your dream
But I’m a ghost that haunts your sleep at night
You don’t wanna live without me
But you don’t even care about me
I don’t really wanna be an awful scent that never leaves

Chorus
No, I can't be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Outro
Wanna be your favorite boy
End up as your favorite toy

🚕 favorite boy

I've got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a hard rush
It's slowin' down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's givin' you now
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blond hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I've got a girl crush
I've got a girl crush
I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinkin' about her
Under your bed sheets
The way that she's whisperin'
The way that she's pullin' you in
Lord knows I've tried
I can't get her off my mind
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blond hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I've got a girl crush
I've got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
It ain't slowin' down

girl crush - little big town / harry styles

25.03.22
produced and written by nonas

listen on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5uY9J7hSvVqzTcEejI2hiw?si=a4b715b72b124432

"suburban crush"
(about going on an ideal date in spite of deep fears and concerns)

The water’s covered up with boats
and there’s one to sharp island
As we rode along the sunset route
You were all that I could see
I tried not to run my fingers through your hair 
But I’ve missed you way too much to care
I forgot that people stare

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush 

It’s the path that we walked
Where we paced little rocks
Tossed our problems into the view
I hope you thought of me
And the things we could be after we left this rendezvous
I tried not to be so needy with you
But I really need you
And you held my hand like an award
I forgot we’re not alone

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon

Baby, you 
Are bringing out a different kind of me
I just wanna be all that you need
Can’t help myself if there’s no one else 
Baby, you
Are looking like a daydream in my head
Or it’s just the glass of wine we had
I don’t wanna go anywhere else 
One day we can hold hands in our car
You’ll cook in your bar, I’ll play guitar 
I hope I don’t walk away too far
Without you
Mmm

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush 
(We won’t be)
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush

suburban crush

suburban crush ⛴

familiar feeling
(my best friend left me on hold for her ex i was happy for her but i was so sad she kinda forgot about me)

You left me on hold
Cause he called 
He misses you the most 
When he walks home from the mall
I waited on the line (at 1)
Til 2:45
I turned in for the night
Like it’s only your first time

Hate to find myself in this familiar feeling
Thrown under the bus with this familiar feeling 
Cause now you’re making me look stupid
To think that you might not be the same

Cause they don’t ever need me oh
Like I thought they do
And you don’t ever need me oh
Like I thought you do

familiar feeling (interlude)

incognito mode

why don't you remember me

1minlove

Balloons are deflated
Guess they look lifeless like me
We miss you on your side of the bed, mmm
Still got your things here
And they stare at me like souvenirs
Don't wanna let you out my head
Just like the day that I met you
The day I thought forever
Said that you love me
But that'll last for never
It's cold outside
Like when you walked out my life
Why you walk out my life?
I get like this every time
On these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
'Cause I remember every time
On these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
Do you ever think of me?
no
(Ooh) no-no, no
(Ooh, ooh, ooh) ooh, nah
I'm buildin' my hopes up
Like presents unopened 'til this day
I still see the messages you read, mmm
I'm foolishly patient
(Foolishly patient)
Can't get past the taste of your lips
(Taste of your lips)
Don't wanna let you out my head
Just like the day that I met you
The day I thought forever
Said that you love me
But that'll last for never
It's cold outside
Like when you walked out my life
Why you walk out my life? (My life)
I get like this every time
On these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
'Cause I remember every time
On these days that feel like you and me
Heartbreak anniversary
Do you ever think of me?
of me
'Cause I think of you, think of you

heartbreak anniversary - giveon (cover)

Prologue:
if you scroll down my profile, you'll see i uploaded this song before in 2020. but now i have polished it and i produced it in a whole different way. i love this song so much la

Lyrics:
It hurts to think about you
But I still do, still do 
They say don’t ever look back
But you still do, don’t you
And it feels like a mental eruption but I didn’t mind
Baby, you’re the beauty exception but it couldn’t last

If you don’t wanna want me
Want somebody to keep
Why don’t we part ways?
It’s too painful to erase
All the memories we once made
If you don’t wanna want me
Want somebody to keep
Why don’t we part ways?
It’s too painful to be chased
By the memories we once made
So run

Thought the words you use would turn sweet again 
Like the beginning
You whispered in the darkened room
Say ‘you’re the highlight of the night’
(yeah you're the highlight)
But now I see no reciprocation (oh)
baby, all I do is give (give baby)
And look, you’re almost the definition of a midnight robbery
Hey

If you don’t wanna want me
Want somebody to keep
Why don’t we part ways?
It’s too painful to erase
All the memories we once made
If you don’t wanna want me
Want somebody to keep 
Why don’t we part ways? (part ways)
It’s too painful to be chased (noo)
By the memories we once made
So outrun me
I’m telling you to outrun me
It’s too painful to be chased
By the memories we once made

So now I'll stop and ask you here
Before I watch you disappear
If you hear my voice starts to crack
Will you just look back? (ooh)
So now you'll take the long way home
I know you’ll miss me in your bones
If you hear my voice starts to crack (crack)
Don’t you dare look back
Don’t look back 
No way

If you don’t wanna want me
Want somebody to keep
Why don’t we part ways?
It’s too painful to erase (ooh)
All the memories we once made (made)
One day you might be ready
To make up for what you did
But look how we part ways
It’s too painful to be chased 
By the memories we once made (made)
So run
(run away and don’t ever look back)
It’s too painful to be chased
By the memories we once made
So run

outrun

[Verse 1]
Now It's been two months since you broke my heart 
Utterly in pieces
When I close my eyes I see us humming
Near the weeds and fields
(yeah yeah)

[Prechorus]
But oh my god, I still think about the old times
You know you were with the right guy
If he stays right where you left him, right? (yeah yeah)
And oh my love, you said you would come back this time
These days I’ve been losing my mind
Everything I touch just turns into shit

[Chorus]
I'm a natural disaster and nothing matters 
When everything changes 
In the blink of an eye, you’re not who you were
If I stay the same, I know it's gonna hurt (oh yeah)
I'm a natural disaster, I snap a finger 
And watch the tables turn
I might never love again if this won’t work
When I fall apart, I’ll just remind my heart
I'm your disaster

[Verse 2]
Mmm, I’m sitting
Cross-legged in my black shades
Some teardrop on my right face
Really don’t know how to sit up straight 
New hair, new body, new tennis shoes
Can’t be satisfied with my every move
Yeah
If you know, you know, you know, you know

[Prechorus]
But oh my god, I keep waiting for a lost cause
How goddamn dare you leave me this long?
Sometimes it just doesn't feel right, feels like

[Chorus]
I'm a natural disaster and nothing matters 
When everything changes 
In the blink of an eye, you’re not who you were
If I stay the same, I know it's gonna hurt (oh yeah)
I'm a natural disaster, I snap a finger 
And watch the tables turn
I might never love again if this won’t work
When I fall apart, I’ll just remind my heart
I'm your disaster

[Bridge]
Hey!
My baby loved me like a natural disaster 
Hey!
My baby loved me even though it’s gonna hurt
And you’d  crash into me without a hint of warning 
And then we’d always talk about it in the morning
But hey, my baby loved me so (ooh)
You said you loved me so (mmm)
Um, now I don’t know (yeah yeah)

[Chorus]
I'm a natural disaster and nothing matters 
When everything changes 
In the blink of an eye, you’re not who you were (you were)
If I stay the same, I know it's gonna hurt (oh yeah)
I'm a natural disaster, I snap a finger 
And watch the tables turn
I might never love again if this won’t work (never again)
When I fall apart, I’ll just remind my heart
I'm your disaster
I’m a natural disaster
And I know it’s gonna hurt (I know, I know)

natural disaster

LA 

Verse 1
It’s the days before school
It’s the nights of half-moon
There’s just something about wanting you more
You’re the wheels to my bike
I’m the wind in your tide 
There’s just something about not dying now you know

Pre-chorus
In my bed, is it all in my head? 

Chorus
When you’re wide awake, do you think of me at all?
I’d love it if you call me on the phone
When you’re wide awake, do you think of us at all?
‘Cause I don’t wanna spend midnight alone
I could never spend midnight alone

Verse 2
I live far away from your side of the city and
I’m still on that train all for you on the weekend
But if there’s someone I gotta worry ‘bout, can you now
Tell me everything, don’t let your whereabouts wear me out
And I see in your eyes
There’s just me and no one else
But just how far will you go to make my heart believe?

Pre-chorus
Look at you, does it hurt you just to try?

Chorus
When you’re wide awake, do you think of me at all?
I’d love it if you call me on the phone
When you’re wide awake, do you think of us at all?
‘Cause I don’t wanna spend midnight alone

Bridge 
When all my heroes died in vain
You stayed with me through the days 
Baby, you made me less alone
We can watch the summer rain
As melancholic music plays
Baby, you made me less alone
Oh, please just tell me when

When I’m wide awake, all I think about is you (you)
I love it when you call me on the phone (call me on the phone)
When I’m wide awake, what is there for me to do
If I don’t get to spend my nights with you?
I just wanna spend midnight with you

Yeah

(wide awake)
(wide awake)
(wide awake)
(wide awake)

LA (summer rain)

summer rain

feelit

[Verse 1]
3 AM, you still up in the club
And you sway like a fool
But you ain't fooling anyone
My mind is a mess, I’d still give you my best
When the night is still young
Know you're getting some, getting some
Say it’s only for tonight

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(It's me feeling my feelings)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
(Do you feel, do you feel it?)
Do you feel it?

[Verse 2]
Put your headphones on, play a favorite song
Gotta get boys so you hit the gym, hit the gym
(And I hit the gym, hit the gym, mmm)
Reassure me you won't outgrow me
But now he's on your screen
Bet you’ll take a leap, dance with him
The way you did with me
Oh

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(It's me feeling my feelings)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
Do you feel it?

[Bridge]
And the cycle goes
You two travel close
And what hurts me most
You got matching clothes
And I fall below like some dominos
You don't know how much I miss you when you're gone
‘Cause I wish I was the one

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(Nights like this)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
Only if you feel it
Without me

[Outro]
No one taught me
How someone felt everything for you can feel nothing for you
Someone once brought heaven to you can leave you in hell for good
Still, I want it all
It’ll come after all
Yeah, I heal slow ‘cause I loved you two years and more
You hand me a grocery list
Or where you wanna live
In the future
But I’m sure you don’t remember at all
Well, it is what it is
And nothing can stop me
Oh, on nights like this

feelit (demo)

feelit (alt.)

[Verse 1]
3 AM, you still up in the club
And you sway like a fool
But you ain't fooling anyone
My mind is a mess, I’d still give you my best
When the night is still young
Know you're getting some, getting some
Say it’s only for tonight

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(It's me feeling my feelings)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
(Do you feel, do you feel it?)
Do you feel it?

[Verse 2]
Put your headphones on, play a favorite song
Gotta get boys so you hit the gym, hit the gym
(And I hit the gym, hit the gym, mmm)
Reassure me you won't outgrow me
But now he's on your screen
Bet you’ll take a leap, dance with him
The way you did with me
Oh

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(It's me feeling my feelings)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
Do you feel it?

[Bridge]
And the cycle goes
You two travel close
And what hurts me most
You got matching clothes
And I fall below like some dominos
You don't know how much I miss you when you're gone
‘Cause I wish I was the one

[Chorus]
On nights like this
Can’t touch me, if you try
You'll watch me multiply
(Nights like this)
Love like this
It slips right through my hands
My heart pounds through my chest
Only if you feel it
Without me

feelit (alt.)

feelit

luxurious

[Verse 1]
I’m on a fast car to see you
The butterflies sink in, I’m thinking “wait time is the worst”
When anyone can just wait on you
I just wanna make you proud when you walk with me
Can you wrap your arms around when that’s all I need
Say you’re still mesmerized after so many times you’ve seen me all dressed up
You’ll just go…

[Chorus]
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury you’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you to feel…
Feel luxurious
(I just want you to feel)

[Verse 2]
One side of my collar is upturned (upturn)
Tiptoed on fires that you burn (burn)
Just crushed a car making a u-turn
I keep replaying everything we’ve done (done yeah)
Making our home out of (hotels)
Truth or dare when we’re drunk (no one can tell)
I dare you to make me the king of all kings
I’ll change the world in the clink of my rings
The diamonds are real ‘cause my feelings are
In a shelter full of shattered hearts
I’ll be your baby
Daily and nightly
Look how I glisten when I go to pieces for you
You
You’ll just go…

[Chorus]
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury you’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you to feel…
Feel luxurious

[Bridge]
Happiness is hard to come by
And harder to keep alongside
Even if it’s ephemeral, I still wanna feel
Young and high
I handsomely bought you some gifts
Please promise you’ll really like ‘em
And I’ll promise to leave you much better than how I met you
Every time you go

chorus
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury you’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you (you) to feel…
Feel luxurious

Outro
You can't really fight this
Think you'll really like this
(With me)
You can't really fight this
Think you'll really like this
(I wanted you)
You can't really fight this
Think you'll really like this
(Wanna feel)

luxurious

bedroom eyes

Verse 1
With the wind is how you disappear 
I’m only yours, so why won't you take me?
The winter’s coming, it's a storm outside
I sent you pictures, you were cold as ice

Chorus
What is happening to me?
Look at you and I see stars
Hurts to watch you from afar
When I’m right here
Come back and tell me what you need
Why were you two in a car 
Driving down the boulevard?
When you said ‘jump’,
All I said was ‘how high?’
And every night I try
But it's too difficult to be near
So, tell me how to disappear

Mmm

Verse 2
Love is blind, so you couldn’t see me
Picking petals off wilted daisies
So, why the hell am I in a suit tonight?
Oh, what does he have that I can't provide?

Chorus
What is happening to me?
Look at you and I see stars
Hurts to watch you from afar
When I’m right here
Come back and tell me what you need 
Why were you two in a car (will you tell me, baby?)
Driving down the boulevard?
When you said ‘jump’,
All I said was ‘how high?’ (huh?)
And every night I try
But it's too difficult to be near
So, tell me how to disappear

Bridge
Come back and tell me what you need
Oh, this is how I’ll disappear 
Ahh
Tell me

Chorus
Now what is happening to me?
Look at you and I see stars
Hurts to watch you from afar
When I’m right here
Come back and tell me what you need
Why were you two in a car
Driving down the boulevard?
When you said ‘jump’, (jump)
All I said was ‘how high?’ (high)
And every night I try (night)
But it's too difficult to be near
So, tell me how to disappear



how to disappear

Intro
What does that mean you can't love me?
What does that mean you can't touch me?
What does that mean you can't love me?
What does that mean you can't touch me?

Verse 1
Once upon a time
We’re two of a kind
Two peas in a pod
Man, who would have thought 
New toys that you bought
Mind tricks that he taught
Made you nonchalant

He's now in your premises
He looks fabulous
Vacant promises
You forgot ‘bout us
You did it for fun
My pen is a gun
Now I’ll go for blood

Chorus
Last night, you fled the scene
For a reckless abandon
And I begged on my knees
You still left me stranded
Now remind me again
If he's only a friend
Why are you in bed holding him da-da-da down?

Why are you in bed holding him?

Verse 2
You could try to lie
Hit me with defence
You could try to cry
Beg me for a chance
You could buy some time
Do another dance
You didn't even try

So I sharpened up a knife
Mapped out every house 
Sharpened up my mind
Labelled every file
Nothing to deny
Nor to clarify 
You did it in daylight
With me!

Chorus
Last night, you fled the scene
For a reckless abandon
And I begged on my knees
You still left me stranded
Now remind me again
If he's only a friend
Why are you in bed holding him da-da-da down?

Bridge
And you'll lose him the same way you got him
Yeah, you'll lose him the same way you got him
And you'll hurt him the same way you hurt me (hurt him, hurt him)
Yeah you'll hurt him the same way you hurt me (hurt him, hurt him)
That wasn’t the first time
That night I showed up in a cropped shirt 
I thought you are gonna wanna touch me back on the bus
Back of the cinema (da-da-da down!)
But somehow you were not really feeling it
No one had me waiting up the way you did
I was all for you, I can’t believe you now

Chorus
Last night, you fled the scene
For a reckless abandon
And I begged on my knees 
You still left me stranded (stranded again)
Now remind me again (remind me)
If he's only a friend (he's a friend, huh)
Why are you in bed holding him da-da-da down?

Outro
What does that mean you can't love me?
What does that mean you can't touch me?
What does that mean you can't love me? 
Why are you in bed holding him da-da-da down?









down!

boy wh0re
(this song is also about someone really toxic i met in July... i was dumb, but thank you so much for listening!!!)
🎧
my spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4sFiaUdDNFg0DhJjN6riEB?si=U4bWok-bRcy07Nv5MDy4Dw&dl_branch=1
my apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/artist/nonas/1553582450?l=en

lyrics:

ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

1st Verse 
Finally somebody could end the free fall
Finally somebody is not so evil
Loved you in the dark like the highlight
But now I know the secrets you’re hiding
Treat me like I’m a toy of your disposal
Win me like I’m another rusty medal 
Thought you want my love instead of torture
But you’re tricking people better than monsters do

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

2nd verse
you’re boy whore, get bored when no one loves you anymore
all you wanna do is pin a boy down to the dirty floor
boy whore like you, boy whore is you
people like me drained up by you
you like to see salt on the wound
it felt more like a chainsaw to my neck instead

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

bridge
yeah you thought that you could play with me, somewhat stay with me
but i see the jet-set list of men
i had dreams of you, misbeliefs of you
they are nightmares that i now regret

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore

i tried to make a lyric video lol: https://youtu.be/E_sTOQk1_O4

🔪BOY WH0RE (acoustic)

[Verse 1]
How do I word this?
Was about to write you this letter
But it was just curses in cursive
You probably deserve it
But that's so impersonal, should tell you in person
Hope it don't hurt you, but then, I've been hurt too
By you the truth is
All you do is, leave me #emotionalbruises

[Pre-Chorus] 
You're callin' me up to link up and figure shit out
No doubt, time's out, we never figure shit out
I can't do this no more, you call me your life support

[Chorus]
'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time, let this be the last

[Verse 2]
How could you treat me 
like another treat you could butter 
up, save me for later to linger
Whenever you like it
But I let you in my door and we’re pacing back and forth, 
I was over you but you’re all over me
Even the truth is
All you do is, leave me emotional bruises

[Pre-Chorus]
You're callin' me up to fake love and figure shit out
Hung up cause turns out we never figure shit out
I can't do this no more, you call me your life support

[Chorus]
'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time...

[Pre-Chorus]
So I’ll cut the cord on this before its too late 
If I don’t end this today, my heart’ll end up in a body bag 
Can’t do this no more, you call me your life support 

'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time, let this be the last

This is my reworked/full version of the upcoming new song ‘Emotional Bruises’ by #MadisonBeer 
I wrote from her point of view from gathering all the snippets she's leaked. 
This is not a way for me to take credit, I simply love this song way too much for me to wait until the release to hear the whole thing.
The song is confirmed to be on her upcoming debut album titled #LifeSupport which is coming soon.


- Anson xx

emotional bruises - madison beer 💌✍🏻 from life support (a rewrite cover)

📻 sometimes i upload the 2AM sad boy pop i write
🎧 hope you listen with good headphones
👇🏼 follow the links here if my bs interests you

nonas

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