BOY WH0RE

"suburban crush" is a song i wrote after i had a really good date on a small island 🌄, but it felt scary to *only hold hands* because the world hates to see lgbtq+ people doing so. 😩the chorus is about hoping that people will change and evolve one day 🌻.

🌅 suburban crush (demo)

listen on spotify:
open.spotify.com/track/0lTZgDcJMz…-xRl-uaNH3RWn5ug

listen on apple music:
music.apple.com/us/album/1604753515?i=1604753516

“favorite boy” demo version
(wrote this song about self-worth and expectations because of family arguments)
🚕
I called a cab that night and never looked back
how do you expect me to be okay like that?
oh you’re always carelessly cruel
you’re making everything so complicated
I’m starting to think love is overrated
oh all I know is I don’t know
☹️
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
🧳
I packed up everything except your money
cause that’s the only thing you thought that I need
but oh you’re not what you thought you’re worth
🧗🏻
and I know this is all about the climb
I’ll dig my grave another time
and I know that you’re designed
to be cold unless I know
🤴🏻
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
🥺
you won’t want to live without me
but you don’t even care about me
I tried to be in your dream
but I’m a ghost that haunts your sleep at night
you won’t want to live without me
but you don’t even care about me
I don’t really wanna be
an awful scent that never leaves tonight 
🌄
this is all about the climb
I’ll dig my grave another time
and I know that you’re designed
to be cold unless I know
🌻
how to be your favorite boy
wearing jeans of corduroy
one you see in your dreams
bet it feels better than home 
if I’m left out in the cold 
all you do is paint me blue
😭
wanna be your favorite boy
end up as your favorite toy

favorite boy

🚕 favorite boy (demo)

"arcade" by duncan laurence ft. fletcher lyrics
🎧
watch me sing it here: https://youtu.be/DOHlz8a7Oho
my spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4sFiaUdDNFg0DhJjN6riEB?si=U4bWok-bRcy07Nv5MDy4Dw&dl_branch=1
my apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/artist/nonas/1553582450?l=en
🕹
a broken heart is all that's left
i'm still fixing all the cracks
lost a couple of pieces when
i carried it, carried it, carried it home
i'm afraid of all i am
my mind feels like a foreign land
silence ringing inside my head
please, carry me, carry me, carry me home

i've spent all of the love i saved
we were always a losing game
small-town boy in a big arcade
i got addicted to a losing game

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game

do you love me, or love me not?
peeling piecеs from my heart
and my rose-colored lеns is gone
Still I carry, I carry, I carry on

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game

i don't need your games, game over
get me off this rollercoaster

oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh, oh
all i know, all i know
loving you is a losing game
oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Arcade

arcade (loving you is a losing game) by duncan laurence ft. fletcher

☁️ cloud 9 by beach bunny lyrics

I don't wanna seem the way I do
But I'm confident when I'm with you
Lately all I feel is bad and bruised
Tired of tripping on my shoes

But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

When I start to tumble from the sky
You remind me how to fly
Lately, I've been feeling un-alive
But you bring me back to life

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating
When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody
Even when we fade eventually to nothing
You will always be my favorite form of loving

follow me if you want 👇🏽
instagram: http://instagram.com/xdmud

cloud 9 by beach bunny

places you won't walk 
15.06.21
written and produced by me 

met you in august when my hurt was new
is it funny how the universe... 🌍
kept us company in the worst of time
now i want your complications too 🫂

got issues packed like cigarettes 
so i dress up to hide the mess
and I stayed in my room, and my eyes are black and blue 😢
i cross my heart, hope for the best
i’m watching everyone finesse
just hope you’ll never think lightly of me 

all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey cause no one really stayed
I’m thinking what are the odds to know someone who knows all the words
to my favourite sza songs 🎶
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone 

old summer love was out of my reaches
but i know you’re just a school away 🚌
still find it strange that you get my humor 👯
cause nobody here has ever did 🎥

got issues packed like cigarettes 
so i dress up to hide the mess
now I crash in your room, and you watch a show i choose 🖥
i cross my heart, hope for the best
i’m watching the way we finesse 
just say you’ll never think lightly of me 🙏🏼

all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey cause no one really stayed
i wanna know how it feels to be living on your own so I... 🥐
come and see you time to time
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone
🚶🏻
babe, i always thought life would get better but it’s all same
i think i’ll feel better if you like what i wrote to you
all i know is i don’t know how to be okay
all my skies are painted grey but i want you to stay...

why do people tend to leave? is it me or everybody else??? 😞
no, it’s everybody else 😃
you know me, I’ll keep taking you places you know
that you won’t walk alone

places you won't walk

🥐 places you won't walk

"solar power" lyrics

i hate the winter, can't stand the cold
i tend to cancel all the plans (so sorry, i can't make it)
but when the heat comes, something takes a hold
can i kick it? yeah, i can

my cheeks in high colour, overripe peaches
no shirt, no shoes, only my features
my boy behind me, he's taking pictures
lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
come one, come all, i'll tell you my secrets
i'm kinda like a prettier jesus

forget all of the tears that you've cried
it's over (over, over, over)
it's a new state of mind
are you coming, my baby?

acid green, aquamarine
the girls are dancing in the sand
and i throw my cellular device in the water
can you reach me? no, you can't (aha)

my cheeks in high colour, overripe peaches
no shirt, no shoes, only my features
my boy behind me, he's taking pictures (he's taking pictures)
lead the boys and girls onto the beaches
come one, come all, i'll tell you my secrets
i'm kinda like a prettier jesus

turn it on in a new kind of bright
it's solar (solar, solar, solar)
come on and let the bliss begin
blink three times when you feel it kicking in

that solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power
solar-olar-olar power

watch me cover this here: https://youtu.be/zFOs7rWM4Dk

solar power by lorde

lyrics to "traitor"
watch me sing the song here 🥺: youtu.be/fHJnE1Xf0gM

brown guilty eyes and little white lies
yeah, i played dumb but i always knew
that you'd talk to her, maybe did even worse
i kept quiet so i could keep you
and ain't it funny
how you ran to her
the second that we called it quits?
and ain't it funny
how you said you were friends?
now it sure as hell don't look like it
you betrayed me
and i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still a traitor
now you bring her around
just to shut me down
show her off like she's a new trophy
and i know if you were true
there's no damn way that you
could fall in love with somebody that quickly
ain't it funny
all the twisted games
all the questions you used to avoid?
ain't it funny?
remember i brought her up
and you told me i was paranoid
you betrayed me
and i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
loved you at your worst
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still a traitor
god, i wish that you had thought this through
before i went and fell in love with you
(ah-ah-ah)
when she's sleeping in the bed we made
don't you dare forget about the way
you betrayed me
'cause i know that you'll never feel sorry
for the way i hurt, yeah
you'd talk to her
when we were together
you gave me your word
but that didn't matter
it took you two weeks
to go off and date her
guess you didn't cheat
but you're still
you're still a traitor (ah-ah-ah)
yeah, you're still a traitor
ooh-ooh-ooh
god, i wish that you had thought this through
before i went and fell in love with you

traitor

traitor by olivia rodrigo

2021.07.09 "cry baby" written and produced by me
(this song is about looking back on a failed relationship with teary eyes)

lyrics:
💧
it was in the summer, in the mid-july
we were cooking for your brother in the kitchen light
no miscalculation, we’re aligned
i was everything you ever wanted
😔
looking back at the mistakes we’ve made
it all could’ve ended up in a much better way
only took a week to call me babe
and you put me down after you tasted it
🧎🏻
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
😭
we would rule the kingdom in your kingsized bed
and i couldn’t help myself but give you head
and i should’ve taken back a thousand steps
but it’s the last thing I’d rather do
🛌
the way your eyelashes fall when you’re focused
the way you shut the world off, throw your phone cause
we felt we what we’re supposed to feel
til we found out this isn’t real
😕
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
stop a train for you
jump a bridge for you
kill a bitch for you
🔪
and i got tears like the shooting stars
fell apart and gave me scars
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would die for you
i’ll be the nightmare from next door
crying show up at your door
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would cry
💀
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
💧

cry baby

cry baby (slow version) 🥺

"best apology"
🎧
listen on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/70WVKGAkddRjQp9VfRe5Ub?si=c518821eb5764313
listen on apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/album/best-apology/1582701602?i=1582701603&l=en
📞
you phoned me at 3 in the morning
say you’re around at a parking spot
this time i had my doors boarded
locking you out really hurt a lot
stayed up all night and cursed your name twice
still i’m just somewhere you can stay
👣
 i’ve been over and over this feeling
i just wish that we could still work
know your sweet vows when we relapse
just like the back of my hand 
i’m so over and over this feeling
take you back only to get hurt
i watch you laugh when i collapse 
into the palm your hands
not again
👋🏼
wish we could rewind that June 5th
the scent of your hair still stuck in my hand
but now you’re somebody i can’t miss
i don’t know how long i can play pretend
so if we’re running on some borrowed time
the bravest thing i’ll do is run
🏃🏻‍♂️
cause my thoughts are linking up
you put me in and out like 
another plaything you use
whenever you show me a little love
want me to give it up like
another chance that i should never give
🤕 
i’ve been over and over this feeling
i just wish that we could still work
know your sweet vows when we relapse
just like the back of my hand
 i’m so over and over this feeling
take you back only to get hurt
i watch you laugh when i collapse 
into the palm your hands
🖕🏼
 you’ve come across and you crossed all my lines
and you ruined places i used to adore
you’d wear for me your best apology
from now on i’ll dress up a little bit more 
☺️
to make you miss me for some remedy
you got so bored so you chose to ignore
when i taught you the best apology 
is simply just get out of my face
🙅🏻‍♂️
over and over…
over and over

best apology

BOY WH0RE
(this yoonbum song will be on spotify very soon!!!)

Verse 1
Finally, somebody could end the free fall
Finally, somebody is not so evil
Loved you in the dark like the highlight
But now I know the secrets you’re hiding
Treat me like I’m a toy of your disposal
Win me like I’m another rusty medal 
Thought you want my love instead of torture
But you’re tricking people better than monsters do

chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore

Verse 2
You’re a boy whore, get bored when no one loves you anymore
All you wanna do is pin a boy down to the dirty floor
Boy whore like you, boy whore is you
People like me drained up by you
You like to see salt on the wound
But it felt more like a chainsaw to my neck instead

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
Boy whore

Bridge
Yeah you thought that you could play with me
Somewhat stay with me
But I see the jet-set list of men
I had dreams of you
Misbelief of you
Those are nightmares that I now regret…

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare feet
You think it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my new sleeves
You think it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
Boy whore

Outro
Ah
Boy whore
And you’re so messed up, cold as a steel knife
Tape my mouth, you didn’t think twice
I’m all fucked up, cold as a steel knife
Tape my mouth, you should’ve thought twice

🔪BOY WH0RE

written and produced by nonas (aka me... ew)
finished in 8th Feb 2021
redone on 3rd Nov 2021

apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/purple-concert/1595559368?i=1595559369
spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/4y5fIOjbG0qLkJux60LCdW?si=MqStLtSQSUO_PJYXpbYiDw

“purple concert”
(I had a dream of me going to a concert with my crush, all i saw was lonely purple lights, so I woke up started writing this song)
🎫
i got us tickets to her concert, 31st of August
would you even wanna mmm go?
mmm and I don’t think that you’ll remember 
me in your black sweater
but i seem more vivid in your favorite shade
🥺
oh god, you look good as hell
could i be this bright as well?
they’ve lit a thousand fireworks but I’m only looking at you
😔
cause I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months since December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
now…
🎷
"...it is so pretty when you put your phones in the air with the lights on, it is just so pretty….."
🤩
my eyes were locked up to the wrong crowd 
cause I picture you in a crown with people going wild for us
but when I look right over my shoulder
I can’t even bother
cause it’s wrong to long for love that’s always gone
✨
but I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months since December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
🎺
our body's purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
in a crowd of strangers she gathered now
🦄
our body's purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
but we’re together now...

purple concert

purple concert 🎫

watch me sing the whole ass "all too well" here:
🥺🤍👉🏼 https://youtu.be/mqWCnLotous
thank you so so much for listening!!!

all too well (10 minute version) by taylor swift 🧣

written and produced by nonas (aka me... ew)
finished in April 2021
redone on 4th Jan 2022

listen on spotify: 
https://open.spotify.com/track/0lTZgDcJMz6rbQVoeFxLa2

listen on apple music:
https://music.apple.com/us/album/1604753515?i=1604753516

“favorite boy”

Verse 1
I called a cab that night and never looked back
How do you expect me to be okay like that?
Oh, you’re always carelessly cruel
You’re making everything so complicated
I’m starting to think love is overrated
Oh, all I know is I don’t know

Chorus
How to be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Verse 2
I packed up everything except your money
‘Cause that’s the only thing you thought that I need
And oh, you’re not what you thought you’re worth
And I know you don’t want me to go, go
But it’s too late for that call when I’m halfway out the door
Tell me

Chorus
How to be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Bridge
You don’t wanna live without me
But you don’t even care about me
I tried to be in your dream
But I’m a ghost that haunts your sleep at night
You don’t wanna live without me
But you don’t even care about me
I don’t really wanna be an awful scent that never leaves

Chorus
No, I can't be your favorite boy
Wearing jeans of corduroy
One you see in your dreams
Bet it feels better than home 
If I’m left out in the cold 
All you do is paint me blue

Outro
Wanna be your favorite boy
End up as your favorite toy

🚕 favorite boy

I've got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a hard rush
It's slowin' down
I got it real bad
Want everything she has
That smile and that midnight laugh
She's givin' you now
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blond hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I've got a girl crush
I've got a girl crush
I don't get no sleep
I don't get no peace
Thinkin' about her
Under your bed sheets
The way that she's whisperin'
The way that she's pullin' you in
Lord knows I've tried
I can't get her off my mind
I want to taste her lips
Yeah, 'cause they taste like you
I want to drown myself
In a bottle of her perfume
I want her long blond hair
I want her magic touch
Yeah, 'cause maybe then
You'd want me just as much
I've got a girl crush
I've got a girl crush
Hate to admit it but
I got a heart rush
It ain't slowin' down

girl crush - little big town / harry styles

25.03.22
produced and written by nonas

listen on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5uY9J7hSvVqzTcEejI2hiw?si=a4b715b72b124432

"suburban crush"
(about going on an ideal date in spite of deep fears and concerns)

The water’s covered up with boats
and there’s one to sharp island
As we rode along the sunset route
You were all that I could see
I tried not to run my fingers through your hair 
But I’ve missed you way too much to care
I forgot that people stare

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush 

It’s the path that we walked
Where we paced little rocks
Tossed our problems into the view
I hope you thought of me
And the things we could be after we left this rendezvous
I tried not to be so needy with you
But I really need you
And you held my hand like an award
I forgot we’re not alone

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon

Baby, you 
Are bringing out a different kind of me
I just wanna be all that you need
Can’t help myself if there’s no one else 
Baby, you
Are looking like a daydream in my head
Or it’s just the glass of wine we had
I don’t wanna go anywhere else 
One day we can hold hands in our car
You’ll cook in your bar, I’ll play guitar 
I hope I don’t walk away too far
Without you
Mmm

But you took me by the hand absent-mindedly
Cussing out what people think, cause it’s not pretty
Oh, If there’s no one around, I’d reach out and touch
Be your summer suburban afternoon crush
Did it go the way you planned, how you pictured it?
Why do people always leave, can we keep at it?
Oh, if the world changes its heart, we won’t be apart
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush 
(We won’t be)
Be your vibrant suburban afternoon crush

suburban crush

suburban crush ⛴

familiar feeling
(my best friend left me on hold for her ex i was happy for her but i was so sad she kinda forgot about me)

You left me on hold
Cause he called 
He misses you the most 
When he walks home from the mall
I waited on the line (at 1)
Til 2:45
I turned in for the night
Like it’s only your first time

Hate to find myself in this familiar feeling
Thrown under the bus with this familiar feeling 
Cause now you’re making me look stupid
To think that you might not be the same

Cause they don’t ever need me oh
Like I thought they do
And you don’t ever need me oh
Like I thought you do

familiar feeling (interlude)

remastered on 10.05.22 by nonas (aka me!)

cry baby

it was in the summer, in the mid-july
we were cooking for your brother in the kitchen light 
no miscalculation, we’re aligned
i was everything you ever wanted
looking back at the mistakes we’ve made
it all could’ve ended up in a much better way
only took a week to call me "babe"
and you put me down after you tasted it

now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?

we would rule the kingdom in your kingsized bed
and i couldn’t help myself but give you head
and i should’ve taken back a thousand steps
but it’s the last thing I’d rather do
the way your eyelashes fall when you’re focused
the way you shut the world off, throw your phone cause
we felt we what we’re supposed to feel
til we found out this isn’t real

now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
stop a train for you
jump a bridge for you
kill a bitch for you

bridge
and i got tears like the shooting stars
fell apart and gave me scars
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would die for you
i’ll be the nightmare from next door
crying show up at your door
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would cry

but now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?

now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?

cry baby (sad twerking version)

luxurious

Verse 1
I’m on a fast train to see you
The butterflies sink in, I’m thinking wait time is the worst
When anyone can just wait on you
I just wanna make you proud when you walk with me
Can you wrap your arms around me when that’s all I need
Say you’re still mesmerized after so many times
You’ve seen me all dressed up
You’ll just go

Chorus
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury
You’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you to feel
Feel luxurious
Want you to feel

Verse 2
One side of my collar is upturned
Tiptoed on fires that you burn
Just crushed a car making a u-turn (baby)
Replaying everything we’ve done (lately)
Making our home out of (5-star hotels)
Truth or dare when we’re drunk (no one can tell)
I dare you to make me the king of all kings
I’ll change the world in the clink of my rings
The diamonds are real cause my feelings are
In a shelter full of shattered hearts
I’ll be your baby
Daily and nightly
Look how I glisten when I go to pieces for you
Ohhh
You’ll just go

Chorus
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury
You’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you to feel
Feel luxurious
With me

Bridge
Happiness is hard to come by
And harder to keep alongside
Even if it’s ephemeral, I still wanna feel
Young and high (high)
I handsomely bought you some gifts (handsomely)
Please tell me you’ll really like them
And I’ll promise to leave you much better than how I met you
Every time
Oh

Chorus
Crazy over me
I’m your luxury
You’ll keep
Thinking about me
Like I’m gonna leave
Bewitched by the view
But I just wanted you to feel
Feel luxurious
With me
(You can’t really fight this, think you’ll really like this)
I wanted you
(You can’t really fight this, think you’ll really like this)

luxurious

boy wh0re
(this song is also about someone really toxic i met in July... i was dumb, but thank you so much for listening!!!)
🎧
my spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4sFiaUdDNFg0DhJjN6riEB?si=U4bWok-bRcy07Nv5MDy4Dw&dl_branch=1
my apple music: https://music.apple.com/hk/artist/nonas/1553582450?l=en

lyrics:

ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

1st Verse 
Finally somebody could end the free fall
Finally somebody is not so evil
Loved you in the dark like the highlight
But now I know the secrets you’re hiding
Treat me like I’m a toy of your disposal
Win me like I’m another rusty medal 
Thought you want my love instead of torture
But you’re tricking people better than monsters do

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

2nd verse
you’re boy whore, get bored when no one loves you anymore
all you wanna do is pin a boy down to the dirty floor
boy whore like you, boy whore is you
people like me drained up by you
you like to see salt on the wound
it felt more like a chainsaw to my neck instead

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
ohhhhhh ohhhhhh

bridge
yeah you thought that you could play with me, somewhat stay with me
but i see the jet-set list of men
i had dreams of you, misbeliefs of you
they are nightmares that i now regret

Chorus
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was nothing but your prey
Another one you play
You watch my blood runs down my bare arms
You say it’s love but you know I was modeled on display
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore
I’m a walking-proof of your boy whore

i tried to make a lyric video lol: https://youtu.be/E_sTOQk1_O4

🔪BOY WH0RE (acoustic)

[Verse 1]
How do I word this?
Was about to write you this letter
But it was just curses in cursive
You probably deserve it
But that's so impersonal, should tell you in person
Hope it don't hurt you, but then, I've been hurt too
By you the truth is
All you do is, leave me #emotionalbruises

[Pre-Chorus] 
You're callin' me up to link up and figure shit out
No doubt, time's out, we never figure shit out
I can't do this no more, you call me your life support

[Chorus]
'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time, let this be the last

[Verse 2]
How could you treat me 
like another treat you could butter 
up, save me for later to linger
Whenever you like it
But I let you in my door and we’re pacing back and forth, 
I was over you but you’re all over me
Even the truth is
All you do is, leave me emotional bruises

[Pre-Chorus]
You're callin' me up to fake love and figure shit out
Hung up cause turns out we never figure shit out
I can't do this no more, you call me your life support

[Chorus]
'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time...

[Pre-Chorus]
So I’ll cut the cord on this before its too late 
If I don’t end this today, my heart’ll end up in a body bag 
Can’t do this no more, you call me your life support 

'Cause this is the fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that we've relapsed
It's the third-second chance that I've given you
For the first time, let this be the last time
Fifth time, I've taken you back
It's the fourth time that I've collapsed into your arms
It's so hard, but for the best
For the first time, let this be the last

This is my reworked/full version of the upcoming new song ‘Emotional Bruises’ by #MadisonBeer 
I wrote from her point of view from gathering all the snippets she's leaked. 
This is not a way for me to take credit, I simply love this song way too much for me to wait until the release to hear the whole thing.
The song is confirmed to be on her upcoming debut album titled #LifeSupport which is coming soon.


- Anson xx

emotional bruises - madison beer 💌✍🏻 from life support (a rewrite cover)

2020.10.15
song written and produced by me

"hero" lyrics

when all my heroes start to fade
you stay with me through the days
baby you made me less alone
my life was in burning red
but you wait in the pouring rain
baby you made me less alone

(guitar intro)

i run in circles in your hands
and you run your fingers through my hair
i’m walking day and night through the traffic lights
but i still can’t seem to find my peace of mind
guess i left it in your pocket with my hand

chorus
when all my heroes start to fade
you stay with me through the days
baby you made me less alone
and my life was in burning red
but you wait in the pouring rain
baby you made me less alone

post chorus 
when you wide awake, do you think of me at all?
i wish I can call you on the phone
when you wide awake, do you think of us at all?
i don’t wanna spend midnight alone

verse 2
when i first step foot into your apartment
Thought i saw forever in a moment
my guard was down and i think you may be the reason
at night i wet my pillow to get through the seasons
and i know that I’m too stubborn to learn
run my brand new shoes on fires you burn 
but i don’t think i’ll ever stop needing you

chorus
when all my heroes start to fade
you stay with me through the days
baby you made me less alone
and my life was in burning red
but you wait in the pouring rain
baby you made me less alone

the interlude!!!!!!

when all my heroes start to fade
you stay with me through the days
baby you made me less alone
and my life was in burning red
but you wait in the pouring rain
baby you made me less alone

post chorus
when you wide awake, do you think of me at all?
i wish I can call you on the phone
when you wide awake, do you think of us at all?
i don’t wanna spend midnight alone

(this song is inspired by Super Lovers, I wrote this from Ren's perspective, he used to have literally nothing before Haru become his world, this is what I imagine he would say to Haru when they are together and when they are not, how they cannot spend nights alone, how he'd reminisce on their first apartment, how they so desperately need each other without even realizing it.)

Hero

2020.11.21 song written and produced by me

cry baby
💧
it was in the summer, in the mid-july
we were cooking for your brother in the kitchen light 
no miscalculation, we’re aligned
i was everything you ever wanted
😔
looking back at the mistakes we’ve made
it all could’ve ended up in a much better way
only took a week to call me babe
and you put me down after you tasted it
🧎🏻
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
😭
we would rule the kingdom in your kingsized bed
and i couldn’t help myself but give you head
and i should’ve taken back a thousand steps
but it’s the last thing I’d rather do
🛌 
the way your eyelashes fall when you’re focused
the way you shut the world off, throw your phone cause
we felt we what we’re supposed to feel
til we found out this isn’t real
😕
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
stop a train for you
jump a bridge for you
kill a bitch for you
🔪 
and i got tears like the shooting stars
fell apart and gave me scars
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would die for you
i’ll be the nightmare from next door
crying show up at your door
I would cross the line for you
I swear I would cry
💀
now you’re nobody at all
and i see you with blurry eyes like a cry cry baby
could’ve drowned when you leave oh oh oh oh
till i don’t need fantasies 
now i’ll die estranged from you like a cry cry baby
is it just me, baby, crying for you?
💧

💧cry baby (demo)

30.01.21 song written and produced by me

"If I Die Tonight" lyrics
🏠
my life passed by faster than
the drive to love again
won’t be broken by the same hands twice
i heard you are just like me
you think abnormally
won’t leave a love until you hurt or bleed
🪁
i’m just a fashion toy that they’d come back to
the abnormal boy that’s always been blue
will they continue to dislike me, baby
🚂
if i die tonight
i’ll forget the hurt that lasted forever
i don’t have to be brave anymore
only for a night
i’m hoping nobody i love is sober
bedroom-dancing on the light-up floor
if i die tonight oh, only for a night oh
promise if i catch my death, they’ll let me catch a breath
🚙
my foot grounded on the gas
they dropped my heart of glass
i’ll put it in a box and drive away
so no one has to tolerate
another birthday cake
just gotta celebrate the kiss goodbye
🧸
i’m just a fashion toy that they’d come back to
the abnormal boy that’s always been blue
will anybody disappoint me, baby
🕊
if i die tonight
i’ll forget the hurt that lasted forever
i don’t have to be brave anymore
only for a night
i’m hoping nobody i love is sober
bedroom-dancing on the light-up floor
if i die tonight oh, only for a night oh
promise if i catch my death, they’ll let me catch a breath
🤧
i hate that I am getting old but it’s all good now and it’s alright now
i knew they would have never told anybody if i really went to die
😩
if i die tonight
i’ll forget the hurt that lasted forever
i don’t have to hide behind your door
only for a night
i’m hoping nobody i love is sober
so i don’t need opinions to be sure
🤧
if i die tonight
i’ll forget the hurt that lasted forever
i don’t have to be brave anymore
only for a night
i’m hoping nobody i love is sober
bedroom-dancing on the light-up floor
if i die tonight oh, only for a night oh
promise if i catch my death, they’ll let me catch a breath
🏚
all I needed was a house and your keys
but all you did was house a boy and his dreams
the devil may care about me but not you
i know it’s now or never baby i’m through

If I Die Tonight!

🪁 If I Die Tonight!

8th Feb 2021
I had a cute dream of me going to a concert with someone I liked, so I woke up started writing this song lol

“purple concert”
🎫
i got us tickets to her concert, 31st of August
would you even wanna mmm go?
mmm and I don’t think that you’ll remember 
me in your black sweater
but i seem more vivid in your favorite shade
🥺
oh god, you look good as hell
could i be this bright as well?
they’ve lit a thousand fireworks but I’m only looking at you
😔
cause I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months from December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
now…
🎷
"...it is so pretty when you put your phones in the air with the lights on, it is just so pretty….."
🤩
my eyes were locked up to the wrong crowd 
cause I picture you in a crown with people going wild for us
but when I look right over my shoulder
I can’t even bother
cause it’s wrong to long for love that’s always gone
✨
but I never thought that i would idolize you 
for eight months from December
and I hope that you remember 
that I never thought that i would fantasize you 
though I’m a little late to offer 
baby, we’re together now
🎺
our bodies, purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
in a crowd of strangers she gathered now
🦄
our bodies, purple in the dark
her songs helped you break my heart
in the course of a winter, we fell apart
but we’re together now...

purple concert (demo)

📻 sometimes i upload the 2AM sad boy pop i write
🎧 hope you listen with good headphones
👇🏼 follow the links here if my bs interests you

nonas

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