deer death

I Don't Wanna Die Here

Lonely Day

Next Death

Another High

Oh, God

Why?

yet, i feel alone

fault

flaws

I Sold Myself for an Optical Fiber

This song is the raw, shattered autobiography of a man clinging to the myth of the "True Blue American Hero" while his life unravels in the grim reality that myth has created. Born symbolically on the Fourth of July in the "back of a battered limousine," his origin story is a tawdry parody of American exceptionalism—a child of a "queen" father and a hooker mother, his very conception a complex lie. He enlists in the armed forces, the classic pathway to heroic identity, only to return home with a row of medals and two missing legs, a walking metaphor for a nation that glorifies sacrifice but refuses to see the "trouble in my hurting mind." The chorus is a bitter, ironic mantra: his proclaimed heroism is worthless against an "economic bubble" that perpetually cycles him into the county jail, highlighting the brutal gap between patriotic image and disposable reality.

His personal descent mirrors a national moral decay. The relationship with Susie Ann Mc Donald begins as a dark alley initiation into manhood and spirals into a tragedy of miscarriages, abandonment, and addiction—"she's been seen shooting scag for a hit." Their doomed union embodies a broken American dream: the springtime marriage that yields no future, ending in a fractured, toxic wasteland. His trauma is medicalized into a "fortune on meds," and he's left "surfing on other ladies beds," a rootless ghost in the "bleak" land he once fought for. The specific, crumbling details of his life become indictments of a larger societal failure, where brotherhood has been killed "from sea to stinking sea."

The song fades out on a howl of disillusionment, the repeated claim of "true blue American hero" now hollowed into a haunting, empty echo. The protagonist is a living casualty of a system that manufactures heroes only to discard them, that champions economic forces that criminalize poverty, and that offers no sanctuary for the physical and psychological wounds it generates. "America, America, your lights gone out on me" is the final, devastating diagnosis—not just a personal complaint, but a eulogy for a promised land that has extinguished its own guiding light, leaving its heroes lost in the dark alleys of its own creation.

True Blue American Hero

[Intro]
We stood where futures try to start,
Two open hands, one guarded heart.
In perfect time, in perfect pain,
It somehow ended… before it began.

[Verse 1]
He saw a home inside her smile,
A peace he hadn’t felt in a while.
She saw forever in his eyes,
A quiet truth, no need for lies.

Two souls aligned, one fragile chance,
One step away from circumstance.
Every sign said “don’t let go,”
But fate whispered soft and slow.

[Pre-Chorus]
They felt it in the silent space,
That rare, unmistakable grace.
A life so close they almost knew,
If time would bend, if fate withdrew.

[Chorus]
It ended before it began,
Before love learned to take a stand.
They saw themselves side by side,
But the future turned and closed its eyes.

It ended before it began,
No shattered trust, no broken plans.
Just two hearts ready to start,
Stopped by time, torn apart.

[Verse 2]
She dreamed of mornings wrapped in light,
His name her calm in every fight.
He dreamed of growing old and worn,
Beside her through each rising dawn.

They weren’t wrong, they weren’t afraid,
Just victims of the plans life made.
Some flowers bloom but never stay,
Perfect color, fading away.

[Pre-Chorus]
If timing wasn’t built to kill,
If fate would loosen up its grip,
They’d be the story people tell—
Not almosts locked in what-ifs.

[Chorus]
It ended before it began,
A love that never touched the land.
No wounds to heal, no tears to mend,
Just a start that met its end.

It ended before it began,
Still echoes louder than a scream.
Because losing what could’ve been
Hurts worse than losing what you’ve seen.

[Breakdown]
WE SAW THE END
INSIDE THE START.
WE FELT THE TRUTH
BREAK THROUGH OUR HEARTS.

NOT DESTROYED.
NOT BETRAYED.
JUST A FUTURE
FATE DELAYED.

[Bridge]
Maybe somewhere time was kind,
And didn’t tear them out of line.
Maybe fate looked the other way,
And love was free enough to stay.

But in this life they turned around,
Carrying words without a sound.
Some love doesn’t fade or fall—
It never gets the chance at all.

[Final Chorus]
It ended before it began,
But it felt too real to forget.
They’ll always wonder who they’d be
If timing showed a little regret.

It ended before it began,
Still lives in every part.
Some endings don’t need beginnings
To leave a permanent mark.

[Outro]
They walked away still standing tall…
But missing something.
That’s the cruelest fate of all.

It Ended before it began