with https://soundcloud.com/hanirl :)

then I sit down

put away my cellphone

do it for my health

then I'm gonna tell nobody 

the way I've felt

tell tales

tell everybody that I'm doing well

I'm not

okay, still sitting down

open up my laptop

can't talk now

is what I tell my friends 

because I'm writing about 

everything, every thought,

every scene, every now

and then

I write about how

my thoughts pull me down

why are they so loud?

Why are they so mean?

Fierce and hostile, I fear I've lost sight 

Cause years of my life

I'd feel the gaslights

Kept wasting my time,

my friends would ask why

my tears won't pass now

I block it all out

just shut myself down

It's so much more than what I wrote

what I wrote isn't all empirical at all

I'm gonna get out of my head

soak up the sunlight

and fall in love with life again

it's so much more than what I wrote

So you read what I wrote from

most of the week where I hoped for

nobody to pose if I'm honest about

what's on my mental

I won't pretend to

act like I don't dread 

the palpable potential

that I will only end up

like what I've tried to end but

if I tried and I failed

would you probably feel

like I've fallen to my own virtues

this isn't a goodbye, it's far from that

I don't want you to worry, time won't hurt you

it's so much more than what I wrote

what I wrote isn't all empirical at all

I'm gonna get out of my head

soak up the sunlight

and fall in love with life again

fall in love

and fall in love with life again

fall in love

it's so much more than what I wrote

playwright w/ han.irl<3

healing is up to u <3
tysm to tea team for letting me a part of this comp!! plsss go follow them here: https://linktr.ee/teateamdesu

(hey! what should i start this song with?)
(hey! start it with that!)

i think i lost myself, somewhere out there
but i’m finding it now
i’m feeling so much better somehow, yeah
and i don’t need your affirmations
im doing better without your foot in the door
i’ll get along without you waging your wars

oh and this time, i’m finally putting an end before i let it begin all again
and this time? i’m gonna stand with my word and not let you back in
oh and this time, i’m really letting you and you’ll be out on your own from now on
and this time, you’ll finally realize the damage you’ve done

you caught me talking to my walls last night
and the questions you asked have been eating me up inside
and i’ve been stuck in my head my whole life
so trust me i know what it’s like
and you said that you’re scared that nothing will ever stay the same and i said it won’t, but that’s no reason to hide away
if there’s something out there that helps you get up every day then you should chase it, no matter what they say

play_pretend

Write down
The things that she feels somehow
She waits out
To see who is real now
They're too loud
She knows she can't heal in the crowd
Get out

It takes time
To come out of her shell
She wastes life
Living in her own hell
Her mind
Isn't doing too well
Oh well

Your secret's safe
Cause you're never letting it go
You're feeling hate
But you're never letting it show
I don't know
Why she stays at home
You feel awake
But you're laying in bed all alone
They say your name
But it says something else on your phone
I don't know
How she stays afloat

Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?

Erased
All the things that she wrote this time
Locks all her emotions inside
Escape 
To the books that she reads at night
Tries to hide

But they watch her
Fall down to sleep
They all haunt her
But she can't weep

She dreams of afar
And to be who we are
Is it in the stars?
Or is it in her heart?
Is living so hard?
(All I see)
It tears her apart
(I can't be me) 
Is it in the stars?
(Or in my dream)
Or is it in her heart?

Your secret's safe
Cause you're never letting it go
You're feeling hate
But you're never letting it show
I don't know
Why she stays at home
You feel awake
But you're laying in bed all alone
They say your name
But it says something else on your phone
I don't know
How she stays afloat

Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?
Is living so hard?

Afloat

this was our submission for the latest all nighter vol.10 by @artbyform with legends @willowindhi and @adridoesthings :] 

it didn't make the final cut but really happy with what we made, and I tried some new stuff I've always wanted to after a hiatus from producing for a hot minute

check out the full ANV10 compilation here! https://on.soundcloud.com/sNP9d2eOKyzNwkJfhp 
(its insanely good and stacked full of amazing artists and awesome music seriously go check it out)

willowind, adri, foxwood - picture frame

bittersweet_chapter499

original by passengerprincess https://soundcloud.com/4kcarpet/4k-carpet

4K CARPET [shopkeeper remix]

MUSIC VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUA37625an8

Frisson

Track 2 of 11. 

Written and produced from August 2024 through September 2025.

Move differently

dear april

I like it here, I think I'll stay for a little - this was the phrase that struck me last night when I wrote this, and I found myself looping this melody over and over, for nearly 45 minutes, lost in it. I wanted to share that with you all <3

Move differently

defsharp