Drill holes in my body 
Dangle me from the stars 
If I have a good heart 
Why does the universe laugh at me? 

All that I've ever wanted stays a fantasy 
I'm scared to death 
I won’t get my dream 
Accept it just won't happen to me 

I'm running away 
Run while falling away  
The world gets so distant foggy 

In talk therapy 
Phone light blinking
Digital things just look like graphs to me 

Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 
Walkin' through the fire zone
Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 

Why am I so scared to put myself out there for you to see? 
Retrieving words from a whole place is so hard for me 

Always go back to the same problem 
If I don't numb my feelings 
Will I be safe? 
Is anyone listening? 

I'm running away 
Run while falling away 
The world gets so distant foggy 

In talk therapy 
Phone light blinking 
Digital things just look like graphs to me

Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 
Walkin through the fire zone
Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 
Walkin' through the fire zone

The laws of life work against me when I’m not myself 
They seem to just abandon me when I need them the most 

I'm running away 
Run while falling away 
The world gets so distant foggy 

In talk therapy 
Phone light blinking 
Digital things just look like graphs to me

Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 
Eating fire for week 
Walkin' through the desert 
Eating fire for week

Talk Therapy

The angels say 
You stay you waste 
Born into building of flames 

Their moral take 
Says burn and stay 
That’s what we call tradition 

Try to save 

I try to save 
I try to save 
No capacity to hear me 

Care for yourself 
Care for yourself 
If you won’t no one will help 
Why’d you do this to me? 

The martyrs crown 
The martyrs crown
I cry at the moon 
It shrugs it’s shoulders at the view 
The martyrs crown is thrown out the window 

Violent hallways 
I make my way 
Walk of panic one decade 

Demon perched in 
My obsession 
Hate things in you stuck in me 

I found a way 
But I found a way 
Through sick maze of my psyche 

Face down in mud 
Rosary up 
Hex off your smoke delusion 
Why’d you do this to me? 

The martyrs crown 
The martyrs crown
I cry at the moon 
It shrugs it’s shoulders at the view 
The martyrs crown is thrown out the window




So far 
So distant 
I watch this collision 
Tear drops fall on our photographs 
Tossed in the fire 

The martyrs crown 
The martyrs crown
I cry at the moon 
It shrugs it’s shoulders at the view 
The martyrs crown is thrown out the window 

Born into building of flames 
Born into building of flames
It shrugs it’s shoulders at the view 
Out the window 
Born into building of flames
It shrugs it’s shoulders at the view 
Born into building of flames

The Martyr's Crown

Go.
My old brain gets hijacked 
Not at gunpoint reacting like I am 
Cause the fear of villain from back then stayed in hostage mind 
I drop my head and move along 
I drop my head and move along
Cause the fear of villain from back then stayed unconscious mind 
I drop my head and move along
I drop my head and move along

Lightning strikes my stomach sick 
It leaves me if I run through it 
To stand my ground I’ve done no wrong 
Until we die this is our song 

I got 
One life 
No time 
To not grow my list of enemies 

I killed 
Two-face 
I had the key 
You got nothing on me 

I don’t gotta tell you this 
I’ll just slip 
A note under the bars 

One life 
Two tries 
To purge the lies  
Of withering heights 

I hate my persona 
I give in to throw them off the scent
Like a spy in the night 
Cold and cunning like a mastermind 
If he could be a vagabond 
If he could be a vagabond 
Like a spy in the night 
Cold and cunning like a mastermind 
If he could be a vagabond 
If he could be a vagabond

Lightning strikes my stomach sick 
It leaves me if I run through it 
To stand my ground I’ve done no wrong 
Until we die this is our song 

I got 
One life 
No time 
To not grow my list of enemies 

I killed 
Two-face 
I had the key 
You got nothing on me 

I don’t gotta tell you this 
I’ll just slip 
A note under the bars 

One life 
Two tries 
To purge the lies  
Of withering heights

I wanna see I had the key 
Before my deathbed 
I wanna see I had the key 
Before my deathbed

I got 
One life 
No time 
To not grow my list of enemies 

I killed 
Two-face 
I had the key 
You got nothing on me 

I don’t gotta tell you this 
I’ll just slip 
A note under the bars 

One life 
Two tries 
To purge the lies  
Of withering heights

Withering Heights

Say more than you’ve ever said  
But the words mean nothin’  
Been try tryin’ hard to connect  
But you’re changing the subject 
 
Yeah I just wanna go 
Go home alone I’m dyin’ 
No I don’t really know  
Know why I was invited 
 
 
And I’m running out of time 
Adding up like 
1 and 2 and 3 and 4 
Days are numbered I need more 
And I want more from this life 
Counting down like 
4 and 3 and 2 and 1 
Not much left until we’re done  
 
 
Hate that all my thoughts drop off  
Of your ears so alone 
Walk out of the bar too loud 
Breakin’ down in my voice notes 
 
Yeah I just wanna go 
Go home alone I’m dyin’ 
No I don’t really know  
Know why I was invited 
 
And I’m running out of time 
Adding up like 
1 and 2 and 3 and 4 
Days are numbered I need more 
And I want more from this life 
Counting down like 
4 and 3 and 2 and 1 
Not much left until we’re done  
 
And I want more from this life 
Counting down like 
4 and 3 and 2 and 1 
Not much left until we’re done

Voice Notes ft. Ethan Gander

prod. https://soundcloud.com/vivantbeats

lyrics:

Chorus

I’ve.
Been dreaming of things- I never thought
I’ve- been told-
I think too much.
Of flower petals and vanilla fluff

Of flower petals and vanilla-

I’ve been-
Dreaming of things- I never thought
I’ve- been told-
I think too much.
Of flower petals and vanilla fluff

Of flower petals and vanilla-

Verse

I’ve been wondering
If you could help me find the end

Its too hard to fight
But I could help you see the light

Pre-Chorus

I-
Could try-
To fantasize...

I-
Could try-
To fantasize...

(2:07)Chorus

I’ve.
Been dreaming of things- I never thought
I’ve- been told-
I think too much.
Of flower petals and vanilla fluff

Of flower petals and vanilla-

I’ve.
Been dreaming of things- I never thought
I’ve- been told-
I think too much.
Of flower petals and vanilla fluff

Of flower petals and vanilla-

Verse

It’s so nice to dream
But there are much sweeter things

Chocolate’s nice and all
I tend to find it hard to fall

I-
Could try-
To caramelize...

I-
Could try-
To fantasize...

flower petals and vanilla fluff (prod. vivant)

Rev up 
Get up 
You’re fine 
Get over what you cry for 


Programmed cleverness 
Recorded wit  
Quick stimulus 
React automatic 

I just can’t function no more 
Cause I’m low 
Go go at our pace go right on cue


Raise your sluggish flesh 
Dangle it on prescriptions 


The likes are your oxygen 
Burning out when 
Concerned what we think of you 
But they rarely do 
Can’t please everyone 
In a shuffle of scenes 
Convince us quickly 
I am processing 
Oncoming crash 

Stuff ugly back inside 
Hide him for another 
Programmed cleverness 
Recorded wit 
Quick stimulus react automatic 


The SOS I sent to myself 
Yesterday went missing 
Cause my short-term memory 
Is short-circuiting

Not Havin' A Blast

Boy Who Blocked the Sun

Body Worx

You’ve known my phobias of closeness
I’ve shied away 
Used to hide under my shell 
No clue how to play romantic games 
But when I held back all you did was hold my hand and wait 
Don’t forget 
We could be anything 
When I’m king I won’t forget all that you’ve done 
When your queen don’t forget all that we’ve been together 
We press our cheeks so tight 
Hold close to me yeah
We press our cheeks so tight 

At the pool I bragged to you 
And you shrugged like who cares 
At that moment I knew you chased hearts 
Not trophies for bigger stares
Never once did you try to make me feel ashamed 
You’re the sweetest
Purest boo I’ve known

The irony of chasing dreams when you’re right in front of me

The Curious Case Of Boy Meets Girl (online)

Still that loner 
Scared kid peaking glances 
Dazed on a shady Street 
And now they’re coming near me 

And I’m paranoid ill get murdered and die forever and ever 
My heart pounds 
You’re just bored and hostile too 
If we’re eccentric you’re the Radar 

Save
I'm all alone always have been 
All I have’s this hope 
Save
I could be so much more than just 
Just a Number baby 
Get away and get these icky feelings off of me 
Save
I'm all alone always have been 
All I have’s this hope 

Not gonna lie 
I’m border-lining psychosis 
It's a brutal neurosis 
Facing laughing crying Voices 

And I’m paranoid that you’ll see me for what I am underneath 
I feel like there’s a set of invisible Eyes 
Always staring always watching 

Save
I'm all alone always have been 
All I have’s this hope 
Save
I could be so much more than just 
Just a Number baby 
Get away and get these icky feelings off of me 
Save
I'm all alone always have been 
All I have’s this hope 

After so many letdowns 
I just keep to myself now
They’re always watching me they’re always watching me 
They WATCH 

Save
I'm all alone always have been 
All I have’s this hope 
Save
I could be so much more than just 
Just a Number baby 
Get away and get these icky feelings off of me 
(I'm all alone always I'm all alone always)
Save
I'm all alone always have been 
(Save me now)
All I have’s this hope

Paranoia On Main Street

I’m not a mute
I’m just a string of shells
I’m no mute
Just used to speak too soon 

Keep your talk
It’s you vermin I hate 
Keep your shrieks
I’m all ears to myself

Lost my voice 
Stop rushin me
There are strangers in the mirror
Gimme some time 
To wear em on a coat
Leave me be 

Walkin the walk 
Watchin with movie screen eyes 
The trance is mine
Oh with a spectator ghost

Traumatized 
But it’ll never be as bad 
As it was before
My turrets will confess you away

Lost my voice 
Stop rushin me 
There are strangers in the mirror
Gimme some time 
To wear em on a coat
Leave me be 

Conversation with me and I
And every voice that lies in the night
A terrifying state of mind
In schizophrenic times

Lost my voice 
Stop rushin me 
There are strangers in the mirror
Gimme some time 
To wear em on a coat
Leave me be 



02 I'm Not a Mute

Austin Texas based artist Jeff Azar A.KA. Demi the Daredevil went from the drummer to being a one-man show after the original lead singer Jovan Ortiz suddenly passed away. Demi mixes theatrically edgy vocals with an alternative pop style to create a unique sound that you can’t quite find anywhere else. Jeff’s unconventional approach to songwriting provides the listener with deep, relatable meaning, choosing substance over radio norms, creating a safe space and community for weirdos among other weirdos. Pure and raw emotion spills out from every self-produced fantasy-like track, transporting you to a dark yet nostalgic atmosphere. With the character, Demi, you’ve found your safe creepy place.


Demi has eclipsed 10 million Spotify streams, over 1,000 fan art pieces, and has been featured on Emo Nite, Relix, Crank that Frank, Buzzfeed, and Punk Rock Museum Vegas.

02 I'm Not a Mute

Demi the Daredevil

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