день закончен
моя жизнь почти тоже
я давлю из себя я давлю эти слоги
мне так сложно видеть себя
в этих зеркалах в этих зеркалах 
в этих зеркалах в этих зеркалах 

я хочу уйти и забыть себя
свою слабость и творческий порыв
в моей голове уже давно остыл
в моей голове уже все в пыли
в моей голове нет места для любви 
в моей голове поселились пауки

я хочу уйти и больше не сtрадать
слишком безнадежен и очень глуп 
что такое этот ваш талант
у меня его нет у меня его нет  
я обычная серость среди высоких стен

я отношусь к себе слишком критично, чувствую к себе тонну негатива, неуверенность, настолько слаб что стыдно, пиздец. ненавижу себя. 

выговорился

fairytales

i never know what to say

city rat at night

first thing i've written since finishing EP yikes

lyrics:

it was the same weekend 

i was the same, weakened by 

all these thoughts that i think at night 

all these thoughts that just pass me by 

i don’t care if these lullaby’s that i write 

never make it from my heart to your eyes 

i’ll drink some more just to cover up all your lies 

i’ll drink some more to be by your side by your side 

if i close my eyes will i die

dear diary 012: if i close my eyes will i die

new version of old song that i think i didn't justice in the dear diary

don't think this version is doing it justice either but it's something

unfinished, idk if I will

sailor moon *rough* (2019)

half baked ditties found in my voice memos of things felt in high school (ruined with garageband) some thoughts are valid, some just fit the meter

from grades 10/11

hung up

make it, tonight

pitchy demo blah of a new song that's about quarantine and animal crossing lol

maybe the proper version will see light of day? who knows

tummy ache a hundred times a morning
and since yesterday i’ve felt so unimportant 
if time will tell then won’t it tell me now
this headache i’ve had since the weekend
won’t it decimate and fly away in pieces
so if time will tell then won’t it tell me now
can it tell me now


if i chase this ghost will it cheer me up 
if i get stung twice will i realise it’s true 
that i do 
will i scare it off and make it run away
will it come again or is time running too
like you



















does anybody ever read the bio anyway? especially this far down. 

new song this month I'm scared people won't like but I'm scared about that every time I release which is stupid, it's very pop-punky lol 


idk I've been doing pretty ok recently, just moved into a new house with tom, Maxwell and Charlie that I'm really enjoying, short walk into town and I get to make music and live with my friends. I haven't seen much of my mother recently which kinda gets me down a bit and I haven't seen anything of my dad but I think that's ok (more or less used to it) 

 been a shit year so far tho with the pandemic and then the ongoing injustice in America. I hope there'll be a day, sooner rather than later where I come back and read this and the idea of systemic racism and racism in all forms is extinct. I owe so much to black communities and would not know what to do myself if it wasn't for them. 

I wish I released more music under stupid rich kid and I apologise for not putting enough out, I make so much music all the time but I just constantly think "no not this one, try again" until I get a song I like, which I think Is a healthy unhealthy way to write - you guys that listen to this account here ideas that could've been, and might still be. 

anyway idk why I'm rambling in the bio of this song, I love making music and I love everyone who's streamed my music, whether this account or stupid rich kid, I don't really know why some people have stayed around to see what I'm doing next but I'm forever grateful that they have, like everyone says about their own stuff lol but the new stuff is rly good and I hope that everyone enjoys it 

thank you, lucian x

dear diary 019: time will tell (pitchy demo)

very self aware song i guess and hiding behind a character or whatever

first song written on my new guitar tho !! :)

I love this photo of seungjin and i not because its a cool picture just because I love seungjin so dearly and it was the most heartwarming moment when we met :(

oh danny put down the telephone 
you spoke just hours ago 
and you’re three smokes down since then 
but you ain’t a care in the world
just as long as you know 

your mother loves you more than you hear, she’s crying in the sink again 
and you’d say to me most days that things are fine, you’re just like this sometimes 

what if your father said what he meant
would you take him back or regret 

danny you’re a mess 
and i know that you think that too
put it to rest
you need to know right now

dear diary 020: Oh, Danny

yours

Couldn’t have been possible without the help of @socialamoeba

Dog Walk - ft social amoeba

@stupidrichkid

demo burner account
unfinished or throwaway ideas

soundshifter on the master sometimes
or i ran out of storage on main sc lol hi

dear diary 019: time will tell (pitchy demo)

uhh ok