i let go of what made me whole
and dug myself a deeper hole
i fucking hate being alone
but it's all i've ever known
there's nobody left to care
so why the fuck am i still scared?
i don't think there's any coming back from this

i can't find any bliss

can't take living in this skin
did my life ever really begin?
sink into my cold sheets
don't wanna wake up this week

i'd ask you to stay
but you're too far away
i don't know if i can take another day
i wanna find a way
to not be so afraid
maybe then i could fix this mess i've made

i'm the worst of lovers
we'll never find each other
i'm a jerk, i'll suffer
and you'll just find another

Bliss

split my head in two
i like you more than i want to
fallen victim to human error
think i'd be better off dead
make my body glitch
maybe that's 'cause you're a bitch
all these questions never answered
running rampant in my head

i hate everything about you
why are you still on my mind?
i think about you all the time
day and night
i can't lie

you feel closer than you are
i see your face up in the stars
where i watch my mind go
i'm losing all of my hope
it feels so good to die though
i love to lie though
i'm dying inside
oh no
i should just tell you how i feel
but i can't explain
it's so surreal
don't want you to think any less of me
it's kinda sad really
i'm getting mad at myself

you've become an obsession
fuelling depression
i know you're no good for me
but i love to bleed
i want you out of my head
like someone better instead
i'm losing it
i'm going sped
didn't choose this shit
fill me with lead

i like you more than i want to

21 demo

DOA demo

featuring @luvwillow

i'm sorry i fucked up
i'm dying to make up
yeah i know that i suck
i'm sorry, i'll shut up

didn't mean to push you away
since we stopped talking i've decayed
i'm about five years too late
i gotta move on for god's sake
i'm sorry for ghosting you
didn't know what i was supposed to do
this was all so new
think i had a chance but i ruined it
made you feel like shit
i always miss

i'm sorry i fucked up
i'm dying to make up
yeah i know that i suck
i'm sorry, i'll shut up

i never thought i'd be this way without you now
i'm sorry that i messed it up
i know that it's all of my fault
and nothing ever seems to go right
i lost you and now i lost myself
just know that i'm trying to make amends
just know that i mean it when i say...

i'm sorry i fucked up
i'm dying to make up
yeah i know that i suck
i'm sorry, i'll shut up

im sry i fcked up ft. luvwillow

Lyrics:

They told me I could be anything
So I became nothing
But this won't do, this will never do
This will never do

When options are infinite
You're stuck in a limbo
Of stagnation and inaction
I won't forget

The times when I was
More than just another adult 

They told me I could be anything
So I became nothing
But this won't do, this will never do
This will never do
Guess it's my fault 
I'm a broken adult
Still don't know what's good for me 

Stagnation 
Kills me deep inside
It's all on me 
It's all on me 

They told me I could be anything
So I became nothing
But this won't do, this will never do
This will never do
Guess it's my fault 
I'm a broken adult
Still don't know what's good for me

They Told Me I Could Be Anything So I Became Nothing

Lyrics:

When's the third act in this story? 
The introduction drags on and on 
On and on 
What a letdown... (Letdown!)

Everyone's ahead while I'm stuck in a battle 
That I could never win
Or even make a single dent...

And I will never lay down my arms 
My suicide is staking everything 
So that I could take that future for myself 
Whatever it may take
Even if it kills me 
It's all worth it in the end 

Rest assured that
It's all for the greater good 
Even though I know 
It's never enough 

(Since I have nothing else to give)
(This is my final gamble)
(There is nothing else in me) 
(To satisfy, to culminate)
(In anything of beauty)

This is all that I wanted 
Since I don't have anything else to give 

And I will never lay down my arms 
My suicide is staking everything 
So that I could take that future for myself 
Whatever it may take
Even if it kills me 
It's all worth it in the end

It's Not Suicide If You Call It Sacrifice

my back feels like a cutting board
too many problems i ignored
i prayed they'd fade away
if i gave it all, until the day
but with friends like these
it's kinda hard to breathe
mind the tape around the scene
sorry i left such a bloody mess

lie after lie after lie after lie
and i ate it up every single damn time
now i'm trapped down here
still wondering why, oh why
going out my fucking mind

i can't forgive a broken oath
as my blood still stains my clothes
and after all the years
did i really mean so little to you?
no goodbyes, no nothing
looking ahead you kept on running
you're being hunted by the memories
of you standing there watching me bleed

whether you like it or not
you're gonna end up just like me
you'll be sorry

lie after lie after lie after lie
and i ate it up every single damn time
now i'm trapped down here
still wondering why, oh why
going out my fucking mind

backing out of a suicide pact at the last second

idk how to mix lol

the verdicts out on you
you liked the things that you put me through
cant even look at you
already gone before its due
u live a lie
play dead for me tonight

you play pretend cause its all you got
lie to my face baby make it stop
losing myself for another shot
it goes (it goes)
youre fucked (youre fucked)
no one believes you now

distracted by your eyes
its hard to even see through ur lies
skins torn from flesh and bone
hours with you just makes me groan
ur fucked up bliss
always faking a kiss
with death on ur lips

your face in the dark
dead from the start
my ears keep ringing
with all ur remarks
just make it stop
this is the 3rd time
youve staged ur death
i'll make it ur last

Pseudocide

featuring @dethtech

i won't see angels when i die
let it happen, let me lie here
i'm done trying to be like you
keep pretending like you didn't steal my heart
you'll take all i have and take all my memories

these blood stained eyes can't see your face
i can't stop the blood

when i'm dead ill write to you in dreams
roses dying, light the cigarette, i'm a bloody mess
i should've known our love would end in tragedy
i watch the tears fall from your eyes, i'm so heartless

buried deep beneath your skin
lies the hurt that broke you
clawing from within
god knows the height i've left to fall
all i can see is you've gone cold

when i'm dead ill write to you in dreams
roses dying, light the cigarette, i'm a bloody mess
i should've known our love would end in tragedy
i watch the tears fall from your eyes, i'm so heartless

i can't sleep when im with you
she had the wings of an angel
but that girl was a devil in disguise
i saw her wings were broken
so she just stood there as i died

i wont see angels when i die, they'll laugh as i fall

i wont see angels when i die, they'll laugh as i fall ft. DethTech

i'm not sure that i exist
never took any shots, so i never missed
this vacant feeling persists
i can't take living like this
staring at my screen is my only routine
i don't know where i've been since i turned sixteen

no friends to who i can confide
i'm not dead, but i don't feel alive
i never seem to have the time
spending all of my days online
wishing i had someone here to talk to
i've been forgotten by everybody i knew

i'm falling away, further everyday
i got lost trying to find my way
losing my grip on reality
another victim of a self induced tragedy

feel like i'm gonna black out
stuck in this game, i wanna back out
i can't continue without someone to lessen my doubt

Falling

DethTech