deeply, sickly (pt.i)

Updated: 06/02

Release me from myself
There's nothing left
No one else holding me back

Sometimes I hear my own voice screaming in the distance
So persistent with it's viciousness, I’ve recognized this
No denying I’m crying out for assistance no one’s listening
End this misery, one step closer to what I’m envisioning

I've been searching for someone who isn’t me
Made from materials of memories, lies and a concerning trajectory
I'm completely detached at the seams

I'll put the pieces together 
Help put the pieces together

Sorry, I'm guily... 
It's my fault you feel so shattered to pieces   
The results of someone severed
Now gently, pour your salt in my eye sockets I've emptied
I can’t see the love you’re sending 

Pain is never ending, sustained indefinitely
I'm detained while you’re pretending

Sorry, I'm guilty... it's my fault you feel so severed
Sorry, I'm guilty... I can't see the love you're sending

severed

updated: 05/30
vocals, guitars, bass, drum programs written and recorded by james neustaedter

my brain throbs at the thought of your mindlessness
everything’s the fault of someone else, 
narcissist, how did i miss something so obvious
oblivious to my senses
Self depreciation commences 
I hate it but replicated daily
Demonstrating woes that i was facing
My fear is fading, it comes in phases
I have trouble separating pleasure and
pain Sometimes its devastating. 
Ive been debating was this premeditated

i should be medicated
Confess the mess i created

you may not see it
but still should believe that i feel this every day
when you’re sleeping
ill explain the reasons i anticipate my fate

i embrace death
Mistakes, I have made them
Disdained by my fixations 
I remain unreplicated

get back on your feet
i was always the dirt beneath 

there’s more than one grievance
destroy our creations and forget this place
This upcoming season
i wont have a reason to remember your name

i embrace death
Mistakes, I have made them
Disdained by my fixations
I remain unreplicated

oblivious

updated:06/02

Abandoned 
and glad it happened
This madness
My hearts been blackened

Constant torture my wildest fortune
Your self absorption purely horror
Our contorted performance folded
over, 
Overwhelmed by all these demons speaking
Manipulating me
I’m clay the way you’ve shaped me
Erase these memories

And Let my loves ones know 
the grave i dug was my own
I’ll crawl in myself but don’t 
want to be alone 

let my mother know
the grave i dug was shallow
this hollow shell of my own
was born to die alone

Can you nail the casket closed
In hopes that i’ll feel less exposed
Seclusion is the antidote
I’ll reappear when decomposed

deeply, sickly (pt.i)

d e x t h