Digibro

Digi n friends

You wanna open my heart, let's do a surgery
Start where I fell apart, with our perjury
The art of drifting apart, it's my specialty
Seventeen fucking times, still counting
I don't know how to get a grip on anything
I let go at the first sign of slipping
I lost touch with what came before before
forgetting my home the minute I'm out the door

And it all just slips away...
And it all just slips away...

Here's some things I forgot to mention
Before the detension of our relationship
I skipped out on many things I liked
And tried not to be like, a bitch about it
I doubt it was successful, but while it's stressful
You must understand myself
I wouldn't give up anything for someone else
please don't think I wanted to be anywhere else
Sometimes I really couldn't see myself with you
Other times I couldn't really be myself with you
But ultimately I could see myself in you
And knew that you were trying just as hard
I know you tried to respect my art
You fought againt doubt with faith in your heart
And I believe we were all we should be
with this reprieve we may see what we could be

I've left a lot behind due to distance
Time chugs on with fatal persistence
Lives I touched just to leave behind and
Hands that held mine that I'll never find
Much more than just blips on my radar
Best friends, relationships, that don't fade are
Left like scars with their stories to share
As I journey this earth in search of their place
Faces etched into my brain
Smeared by the stains of time and age, mind games
I've played with myself, trying to help me forget
But now I'm filled with lingering regret
The sun sets on my childhood
And my hood's grown out of these woods
Moved out and found their lives ahead most aren't
Dead like they thought, and now that they've fought
Battles in the real world

They know what happens in the real world...

I only know how to do one thing
Burn with my passion as the one true king
Strike down the dark in my heart and sing
A requiem for the passing of all the good men
And women who fell at my sides
People I left behind in my life
Memories I will cherish and hide
Deep in the confines of my cold mind
Relight the fires burning inside
Eat all the lights in sight that I find
Strengthen the core of fight with all my
Might and don't die and never subside
RISE TO THE TOP OF ALL AND PRESIDE
OVER THE TOPS OF ALL OF ALL LIFE
KILL THE LAST SHREDS OF DOUBT IN MY MIND
OPEN MY HEART TO ALL OF MANKIND
...and all of it's mine

OPEN

The version that god (Jess) intended. FUCK YEAH!! Me and Endless Jess rapped over this kickass MZShaidu beat!! Expect a mixtape some time!! Lyrics:

[Verse 1: Digibro]
I chase release, sixteen bottles deep
in some weak shit, my peak shit dried out
always night out when I look
I'm still too lazy to cook
Nowhere else open at night
So I stay after that light
Wawa subs, takin that bite
cigarettes gettin' that light
ate again, drivin there twice
I don't like none of they food
fuck am I s'posed'ta do?
no one else awake here so I stay jackin' my dude
gettin' in fights online
wastin' my fucking time
tryin ta fuck with this wine but now my tolerance is too high
rhymes becoming off-time
wrapping thoughts up in tight little rice balls to eat up and spit out
at people who pass by my house on the sidewalk
you balk at my face, mother fucker, I'm carving your eyes out
you don't know who you're dealing with, I'm a man with his mind out of
control -- don't know what I'm prone to do at this hour
my skin has gone sour and bruised,
I'm rotten through

[Verse 2: Endless Jess]
come to on the floor
in a pile of trash and piss shit stained drawers
I'm a hot mess hoarder, the lord of disorder
calorie absorber, performer, a camcorder
and I’m bored, another symptom to record
in the pit, the only hole i fit anymore
until i stick more whores 
with my thick pork sword
i got ticks on my dick getting sick and engorged
i used to dream of how i’d be when i was grown
picture me with a 6 pack, not the kind that foams
now i live alone, never shower, i live in squalor
blocking out the sun so i never know the day or hour
and my teeth all yellow, gums receding, 
gingivitis, cut myself eating now I’m bleeding
while i’m beating up the mic
and i’ll take another bite
of the burger that i dropped in the trash last night

[Verse 3: Digibro]
Fast food on my mothafuckin' breath
Wine spilled on my mothafuckin' chest
I'm drunker than my rhymes are good
my wordplay's bored, I torn between asinine and scorned
I'm fine from four till dawn
But wronged from six PM to one
I'm no fun and no body cares what I've become
Or how I've run so far from the sun
- my body is fucking falling apart
- fat and gross and weird and fucked up
My beard looks like a rapist
My shape is amorphous
- I don't know what I enjoy
There must be, please, I hope, a point to all this
Somewhere along the line when looking at the time
Stopped meaning anything my mental state became in constant flux
I've got six thousand bucks and don't know what I want to own
I'm grown, I'm grown, I'm grown, I'm grown, I'm grown

ROTTEN (ft. Endless Jess) [Prod. MZShaidu]

Another rap over a sick MZShaidu beat. Expect an album some time soonish.

Lyrics:
I would love to save the world, but I know everything dies
We know the cycle never ends, but we continue to try
If I miss the singularity within my life, I'm fucked
Gettin' cucked by the universe
What if I pull a Sing About Me and get shot by the end of the verse?
The real curse is not knowing
Yet feeling the need for a goal towards which to continue growing
and never slowing even when it hurts
I'm reimbursed for my effort with a fat coin purse
but the years I've burned past I can't reverse
all the hoops I've jumped through to avoid the hearse
make the thought that I'm wasting my time so much worse
and what's worse than that?
knowing that I'm dying even as I rap
I get immersed to avoid the facts
mortality: I just can't admit to that
cause what's worse than that?
knowing that I'm dying even as I rap
I get immersed to avoid the facts
mortality: I just can't admit to that
cause what could be worse than that?


the final boss of our lives is death itself
fighting temporary threats only barely helps
if we can't pull the ghost from the shell, we won't survive
and we've only got so much time
I put my lime in my coconut so I can chill
pretending this ain't real, just so I can deal
if the world ends with me, then at least I made it
I'll watch the sky burn from the backyard, faded

(I'm)mortal

Title track/opener for the upcoming album. Prod. MZShaidu: https://soundcloud.com/mzshaidu

Lyrics:

I hit bedrock in my bedroom
playin' new Doom with Aesop Rock and MF Doom
and a shroom sandwich--not psychedelic, but delicious
got no bitches--no women either, for that matter
I'm higher on scattered thoughts than most get on batter and pipes
I make a living off my list of gripes
I've got no game, no life, and plenty of cash from passion
the type to look at myself and start laughin'

'cause I'm holed up in my room
crankin' up the sub so the bass go boom
youtube surfin' on the couch with a box of goon
and just too much time, not enough to do

Nothin' in life will ever live up to Demon's Souls,
MC Ride, Endless Jess, and Nobue Itou
I eat so much stress, my beard grows quicker
I'm ten pounds thicker from my facebook picture
Had a published auto-bio when I printed out my twitter
I've never read a book that wasn't with me on the shitter
I'm bitter over every bad comment that I've gotten
but unassailably self-confident since writing Rotten

and I'm holed up in my room
crankin' up the sub so the bass go boom
youtube surfin' on the couch with a box of goon
and just too much time, not enough to do

Bedroom Bedrock

Beat by MZShaidu: https://soundcloud.com/mzshaidu/fresh-summer-breass

Lyrics:
the broadcast news is all subjective
the truth ain't there, you can't protect it
I don't believe a thing you've said, bitch
I nod my head, ditch, and contemplate shit

all the best shit in life comes from you and I
from mankind, when they ain't fuckin' around
or stuck on the ground, or straight fuckin' it up
when they layin' great stuff in the cut, and gettin' the bucks
I go to see 'em sometimes
with a fat wallet I don't need a disguise
don't mention politics or the bad guys,
the high concepts, or the truth unrealized
look 'em in the eyes
I don't hate all of ya'll fuckers
but some of ya'll mothers got a need to get smothered
but I can set aside my druthers
for a waffle, and some chicken, and a lil' honey mustard--matter fact
let me live at IHOP
and eat gross tenders 'till my fuckin heart stop
set up a lil' booth where I can record my hip-hop
and drop in random patrons for podcast interviews

the broadcast news is all subjective
the truth ain't there, you can't protect it
I don't believe a thing you've said, bitch
I nod my head, ditch, and contemplate shit

My plate's legit completely full
with fat raps to eat and sick shit to pull
and thick chords to play, while I don't get no play
'cause I ain't got all day to swipe left on bitches
--that's inauthentic, but how I roll
I only pay attention when the dinner rolls come out, no doubt--
I like people for the art and food
and if I seem rude, that's cause I don't know ya, dude

the broadcast news is all subjective
the truth ain't there, you can't protect it
I don't believe a thing you've said, bitch
I nod my head, ditch, and contemplate shit

Humans Are Okay

So https://soundcloud.com/frankjavcee made this beat and posted it on youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtDtLWIyw7w and I immediately downloaded it and wrote/performed a rap for it because it totally fit the kind of stuff me and @MZShaidu have been doing, right down to the length lol. Lyrics below:

All my Boos and Ghastley gettin' nasty
see, we be long-lasting--not a bad thing
no, a little haunting could by happy
when flaunting this rap beat
when the cat screams out on a pitch black night
don't recoil in fright, but delight
cause we do it right
with a purple haze and a blown-out brights

We don't need to fight you to ignite you
we could fly right by you to spite you
but a much more wrongful way to right you
is to write a song full of curses and turn you 
into one of us with the rhythm
get you down here to clown with the villains
pull your spirit up through the ceiling
and get you really feelin' it
so hard you're straight-up stealin' it
like you was DigiB with a fat-ass beat
takin' straight off the page from FrankJavCee!
now you see me and now you don't
Dance and scream like the Baby Ghosts
or Fear and Loathing, lose your clothing
And your body, and grab a host!

All my Boos and Ghastley gettin' nasty
see, we be long-lasting--not a bad thing
no, a little haunting could by happy
when flaunting this rap beat
when the cat screams out on a pitch black night
don't recoil in fright, but delight
cause we do it right
with a purple haze and a blown-out brights

I'm wanted on two accounts of unlawful posession
I'll make your heads spin all they way around to kiss on your asses
I got a flask full of slimer and yes a head full of gas
I haven't passed on from this life I'm simply over the last
I don't gotta move fast
don't gotta trip when I wanna relax
just let a boombox blast outta window to the whole world
when I want them to hear my sass
I can be crass, but it's how I roll
if you don't like it then get ghost 
and the haunting started, party like it's
somethin' you never did before

All my Boos and Ghastley gettin' nasty
see, we be long-lasting--not a bad thing
no, a little haunting could by happy
when flaunting this rap beat
when the cat screams out on a pitch black night
don't recoil in fright, but delight
cause we do it right
with a purple haze and a blown-out brights

GHOST TRIBE (ft. Digibro)

Beat by MZShaidu: https://soundcloud.com/mzshaidu/almost-nothing
Possibly from our next album, possibly called Above the Earth, Haunted.

Lyrics:

(The tao states that for somethingness to be there must be nothingness)

I reside 'tween the blurred lines, undefined
what's a sign, and what's in my mind?
buried in wives and casks of wine
loving the lie in which everything's fine
A nihilistic nightmare I've crafted
clinging to my self-satisfaction
but not feeling anything outside my passions
my soul's drifting out of my gaping mouth
breakneck powerwalking what I think's my route

Dad used to joke I'd replaced my heart with a second brain
I think that other one may not have been sane
I been strange so long the range of emotions I express
Are from "suck my dick" to "fuck my ass"
Beligerance and obstinance
Intolerance and abstinance
My last defense, your honor, is at least I can feel happiness
But only insofar as I'm not pissed
About the surrounding apocalypse

In a world where the only thing you gotta cling to is the authority of a greater being
Who can see things you can see and define your morality, making life easy
-er than it would be if you had nothing but a black void coming when your dead
Get your head on straight, because if you can't relate, then your fate is
Lookin' like a crazy fuck
When you don't believe in luck and karma, other mothafuckas wanna harm ya logic
They don't like it when your honest, when you're a challenge
To what gives them balance

Fall back on your talents, tip those scales in your favor
Become your own savior, as long as you can savor your time without losing your mind
and blowin' it out--foregoing that route though I doubt it matters
If you'd rather be nothing how could I stop you?
I'm not you, I'm alive--fulfilled--spilled out onto found tracks instead of the ground
I'm something somehow, and I have doubts about how I got here having been profound

Almost Nothing

Beat by MZShaidu: https://soundcloud.com/mzshaidu/shallow
Possibly from our next album called Above the Earth, Haunted, which will have cooler cover art when it's a real thing.

Lyrics:

I'm only ankles deep
I can't impress me
I only see beauty in terms of what is sexy
I'm not a good guy
I don't like anyone
But if someone says hon I wanna fuck I'm all but done

Got about as much charm as self-harm
--I'm about as warm as a corporate email
Got no female friends and I think it's probly my fault
Rough like asphalt, tough with words and curses
Curt to a fault and I skirt the issues
Satisfied to squirt through tissues
Plus I talk about my dick like it's everybody's business
Come pay witness
Physical fitness is I lift a bit but I don't do shit besides
--ride is nice but I'm only out at night
To procure burger and fries
And I eat like a garbage shute
I'm far from cute
Can't be much of a brute but
My sleezy needs got me up all night nothin' but redtube

I'm only ankles deep
I can't impress me
I only see beauty in terms of what is sexy
I'm not a good guy
I don't like anyone
But if someone says hon I wanna fuck I'm all but done

Never gonna feel attractive, never gonna be too active
Only got a few more years til' I'm over that hill and expectations go backwards
I'm a lazy bastard
Smokin' up a storm of tobacco
Like a little rascal
Livin' in the big fiasco
Tryin' not to so hassled
Maybe less a total asshole
But I don't see myself from the outside
And don't trust what I do not see
If a ball of sleaze with some real bad teeth isn't what you all perceive
Then I'm glad for that--but I'm still fat
And I still don't like dogs or cats
And I'm still a self-important fuck with a knack
For embracing that

I'm only ankles deep
I can't impress me
I only see beauty in terms of what is sexy
I'm not a good guy
I don't like anyone
But if someone says hon I wanna fuck I'm all but done

Shallow (Demo)

A response to the diss track Ass Burger put out on me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVlB6FeAMm4

Beat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lHT0-nljPA

Lyrics:

For some reason some heathens are still sleepin' on me as a rapper
Even though my last clapper put the hammer down on my detractors
A nigga wanna talk about tetrameter
He don't know my paramaters
My flow is anything other than amateur
I switch it up fast
Cause I got class
Not like an ass 
With as fast-food face
And about no taste
On a Sword Art Online beat
Posturing to disguise the cold feet
He received over arguing with me
Bitch please
You ain't even worthy of my side-channel
I can handle your scandal without opening my video editor
Because I'm just better in every way
Steppin' to me in the first place was your first mistake
And your half-baked plan blew all up in your face
Unlike Biggs, you could never just erase the disgrace
But it's okay because I'm here to put you back in your place
I was told that an idiot wanted to start shit
So I came to pit my wits against my critics
But just like Snob and King Critic, your limp dick
Arguements left you lookin' like a weak bitch
Digibro, Undefeated of the East
Get your fuckin' shit together 'fore you step to me
Worried I'll remove your comments? Don't be
By the time I'm balls deep you'll be screaming out DELETE! DELETE!
I'm replete with the gift of gab
My words stab and twist up through your flab and wrists
Your drab diss tracks won't persist amidst the fists
hittin' you from all sides --you already died

Ass Burger Gets Grilled

Rap metal ain't dead until I say so. The beat for this is just a heavily distorted and looped version of the intro to Cry of the Black Birds by Amon Amarth. I was listening to it for the first time in a while, and realized that it sounded kinda like a trap beat in metal form, so I made it into one with my nonexistent audio editing skills. Lyrics followed from the tone of the song.

Lyrics:

We on that ragnarok shit
Everyone convinced that the future's a bitch
Ready to flinch at the clap of a hand
Like the sound of the bomb that's erasing the land

The orange man tweets just like Loki
While phony-ass fears play so damn hokey
You gotta be joking -- and maybe you are
The signal got lost when we all tore apart
It's noisey, you have to yell it's so loud
Incoherently overpowering all the of crowds
With gibberish sounds that carry more distance
Messages of ever increasing complete tonal dissonance
And this is why the loudness war rages on
Normalize the track till the nuance is gone
Soak it all in reverb and play like depth is
Just as much sound as you can possibly pack in
Pan it all to the left or right 100%
And never ever ever try to relent
Represent your labels and scream out loud
To drown out the sound of all the bombs comin' down

We on that ragnarok shit
Everyone convinced that the future's a bitch
Ready to flinch at the clap of a hand
Like the sound of the bomb that's erasing the land

The end of the world is an art piece
The trope is the starving, the hopes and the fears are retarding
We're perpartually starting
Reapplying the glue, but it's not quite hardening
And where is the future? We were promised jetpacks once
Mile high cars, they were more than a hunch
Cling as I do to the forty-year hump
To get over, hoping I won't need a lunch to sustain
A brain in a jar, as they say
But I can't see a way through the culture's haze
Malaise in the bones of the young
Hamstrung by the set in their ways other ones
Sound dumb, but it's true; nobody knows what to do
But sit on our asses and hope we get through
I ain't holdin' my breath, though
Till' the fat lady sings, I ain't willin' to let go

We on that ragnarok shit
Everyone convinced that the future's a bitch
Ready to flinch at the clap of a hand
Like the sound of the bomb that's erasing the land

On That Ragnarok Shit

So I rapped over the full-length ED to Stella no Mahou, because I couldn't stop listening to it and thinking I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't rap over it. There was no instrumental version, so I just kinda worked around the sparse vocals that were there. The lyrics are directly inspired by the show itself and the attitudes of the characters. I wrote it in a way that I would probably talk to a bunch of teenaged artists who are just starting to get good if I wanted to give them a pep talk (which is why it sounds like a Linkin Park song... well, more than usual).

Lyrics:

Young hearts full of art and worry
You don't need to hurry--but you must continue
Do not let the message within you fall on deaf ears
Keep your hands moving 'till the truth appears

You will not be forgotten
Even if you grow rotten through, you still have a truth to speak to
And those who need you to be proof
That they too can still move and make something new

Young hearts full of art and worry
You don't need to hurry--but you must continue
Do not let the message within you fall on deaf ears
Keep your hands moving 'till the truth appears

This is only the start
Of something which never ends or gets less hard
Yet every part will be worth it in moments
When you look back and see how much you've grown into who you are

And the memories blot each page
Demarcations of the ways you've aged
Not all of which you wanted to see
But without each of which you could not be
And even as your heart breaks
Taking tallies of all of the mistakes
You can say, at the very least
You weren't afraid to try and make something

Young hearts full of art and worry
You don't need to hurry--but you must continue
Do not let the message within you fall on deaf ears
Keep your hands moving 'till the truth appears
Embrace the fears and scream them
If the tears are fake, then make me believe them
If the pain is real, inflict it on me
So I can see the world for what it should be

If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in me
Who believes in you, until the day that you can too
And if you need proof that someone needs you
Flood the world with your words 'till the signal cuts back through
And never stop or you will never know
'Cause you cannot grow if you throw in the towel and go home
You must hammer it down to the bone
"This is what I am, and I will be known!"

Young hearts full of art and worry
You don't need to hurry--but you must continue
Do not let the message within you fall on deaf ears
Keep your hands moving 'till the truth appears

For Stella the Magic

The other day I was drunk and messing around and made that really shitty freestyle called An Attempt Was Made using the tail end of @MZShaidu's song, https://soundcloud.com/mzshaidu/sustenance-fallen-to-pieces
Because of how I released it right before Paradise (In Name Only), whenever I listened to that song it would segue right into the freestyle, and the transition was just so perfect that I wanted to have the same thing happen on the album--meaning this had to become and album track. So here it is with actual effort put into the lyrics!
I constructed the theme of this track while walking home from Arby's drunk at 10AM.

Lyrics:

I drank half a case of Tecate
So I could get sloppy enough to do my job properly
I'm probably the only psychopath who works this constantly
But I don't know how else to be, and nobody is stopping me
I get frustrated, stating that I hate it
But still getting berated and told I am overrated
Well I guess fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you
I don't need you to tell me what I can't do
I'm the king of the jungle, I run this zoo
Now get out of my cage or I'll start slingin' poo

Pee Yoo that's a stank ass rhyme
Yes I know I'm cringe, that is by design
I don't hide from my feelings
I'm no good at dealing with
My self-image, so I stay fringe-scrimaged twenty-four-seven
I need one of those Frankenstein girls from the seven-eleven
Who stays up all night and knows the right way to heaven
And I'm quite alright if she is less than a seven
Just as long as her taste ain't shit

Yeah that ain't no bit
The last chick I was with made me sit through some bullshit
And I am legit an elitist prick
Who won't stick my dick in no idiots
Unless they live in convenient driving distance
My sex life is not a thriving business
Probably because I have such ire
For every single person aged zero or higher

I admire not heroes but an hero
My life is a scene from Apocalypse Zero
My strife is obscene and is not endearing
When I sing, people scream, and demand that I go
Believe me like you don't even know
How much I wouldn't be here if could just throw
All my stuff in a bag and be on the road
To the edge of the earth, and jump in a black hole

Kill me

Fallen To Pieces [Prod. MZShaidu]

Remember that dope ass song I made on that @blindskywatcher beat? Well, now it's even MORE DOPE with a verse from @endlessjess !

Lyrics:

[Digibro]
Please don't tell me this is paradise
I've been dreaming something much more nice
If this is all there is then why fight?
Please don't say your endgame is my life
It's not right

Caveat Emptor to all who admire me
I know I'd fire me if I had ever hired me
And I mean by firing squad, I'm gayer than god
And deserve to be deader than a dorknob
Fat slob, but I quit smokin'
So I won't be chokin' on anything other than dick for a while
Never been in style
Stayed actin' like somethin' of a prick, and it's riled up
Some punks who act like I stabbed someone
Just cause I gave a 1 to their favorite show
Do you even know what is an opinion?
Objectivity doesn't exist, I told you a million times
There is no rule to rhyme, no design
Only what you decide that you like at this time
And I hate myself
So don't emulate me unless your better with self-help

[Endless Jess]
a trillion fans ain’t worth a damn, 
they ain’t worth one friend i can call “my man”
ambition is living how others won’t for a vision and a mission getting what others don’t, 
but that’s missing the mark
giving every spark makes your heart dark 
ambition is a prison, not a walk in the park

i’ve had best friends tell me that they envy me, 
and look with jealousy like I’m the enemy

like I’m a rival, 
but man you aint a rival to me, 
I’m feiviel, my survival through miles of trials would be tragedy
if not for the fact that I’m getting back to my family
nothing else helps so it’s hell to have you mad at me

cause I’m broken, i don’t know how long its been
since i’ve seen the sun or filled my lungs with oxygen

i’m too far gone, i’d take norminess over this
gotta check the pulse in my wrist just to know i exist

Paradise (in name only) [Ft. Endless Jess] (Prod. blindskywatcher)

So this is one of the weirder, perhaps more misguided ideas I've had lately: fast-rapping over a shoegaze song. I had the idea cause I was listening to For Stella the Magic and wondering what song would come after it in a playlist, and I felt like the Mawaru Penguindrum ED "Dear Future" would be perfect. I listened to it and it seemed like rapping over it would be doable. Of course, mixing that rap in a way that made any sense at all would be impossible. I did what I could, hopefully it's tolerable.

Lyrics:
What can I tell you bout the future?
Gonna have my boot up in your face when you abuse her
Gonna have me wishin I was dead if I wake up and feel the dread
Of realizing I threw it away a user
Tell me what you fear
I can tell you what to avoid
What you hold dear
That shit will keep you paranoid
And yes it's worth it
...maybe
Life just goin' crazy
Just maybe
Control is overrated, but you gotta learn to fake it for the future

By what indication do you sense the predication
Of human annihilation? I think you need education
I think we all as a nation gotta take a step back
Take a deep breath-- reassess what we got left
And do our best not to waste breath
On incessent stress and defensive steps
Get a grip-- get a stiff upper lip and start talkin'
Figure out where we all walkin'
Ain't no seperate paths when we're all caulked into the mass

DEAR FUTURE, I DON'T WANNA LOSE YA
TELL ME WHAT I GOTTA DO TO MAKE SURE ALL THE HUES ARE
STILL BEAUTIFUL BY THE TIME I GET THERE
STILL THE ME THAT I WANNA BE EVEN WHEN I'M GRAY-HAIRED

No I do not like the pain
But I'mma stay in the game
That's just the way I was raised
Any less, I'd be ashamed
What got me really afraid?
Knowing you think of my name
Only as someone who walked--
Took off, dried up, and went lame
I couldn't face you the same
I'd never look up again
I'd be afraid of myself
I would go fuckin' insane
But if I stay in my lane
Still ever gonna be strange
Whatever headin' my way
I'mma take it to the face
Steady be changin' my shape--
But my core intact
And you can't teach that
You may doubt this truth
But my life is fact
My mistakes of youth
They won't hold me back
The propel me to
Try to not be whack
They compell me to
Go and chase these stacks
And I base this rap
On what I see as
Self-affirming thoughts in the face
Of a blackened void
That I'm quite annoyed
Never will see fit to talk back

DEAR FUTURE, I DON'T WANNA LOSE YA
TELL ME WHAT I GOTTA DO TO MAKE SURE ALL THE HUES ARE
STILL BEAUTIFUL BY THE TIME I GET THERE
STILL THE ME THAT I WANNA BE EVEN WHEN I'M GRAY-HAIRED

Dear Future [Rap Mix]

3 years ago, when I was getting into rapping, I rapped over Open Your Heart ~Reprise from the .hack//SIGN OST. https://soundcloud.com/digibro/open I've wanted to redo it--in part because the vocal delivery had bad moments and the recording is bad, and in part because the rap is basic and clunky. I tried redoing it, but found it hard to take seriously since it's corny, and was unable to capture the raw emotion that made some people love it in spite of its flaws.

Since I've been doing anime soundtrack songs and wanted a good version of this one, I decided to write new lyrics. What I got is a sequel--a progress report, touching on the same themes and signifying what’s changed. It's less bluntly emotional than the original, but reflects how I've changed in the last 3 years. Nailing the delivery and mixing was a nightmare and I'm not sure I did it, but at least it's not constant peaking like the original and sounds like I did more than 1 take.

The sample is from Better Than Food Book Reviews, covering Short Letter Long Farewell. Had to mix it weird because it was recorded in a vehicle, but it was the only quote I could think of that fit the tone. Hopefully its at least intelligible, or if not then you can watch the video, learn the quote, and appreciate it that way lol.

Lyrics

It's time to open my heart once again
The pen guides the hand to the margin's end
The friends that I've lost have gone up by tens
My feverish rush has sped up and extends
Way beyond what my heart can keep up with
I'm drugged up with so much to be blunt with
What I thunk when I spit three years ago
I was so much less ego and so much more stable
And now it's gone...
I know exactly what I did wrong...

If I could go back, I'd make the same decisions
I've never been the type to stew for long on what I didn't
Do with my time, my life's a line
It's readable, perceivable, immutable, the flow is natural
It started out with the big bang
And it's still going strong on to this day
Even if I'm alone and I'm prone and afraid
Right on the brink, I think, of going insane
I can't say it didn't make sense
That distance was in my nature to best
It crushes down on me now to assess
That maybe I was always doing my best
And I ain't shit--and now I gotta live with it
Watching you walk away as I simply sit
And work through the pain with just teeth to grit
And buckle down on the script I've so often writ of my dying fits

We're moving on the the eighteenth now
Yet another sequel to how I skipped town
Only now all that burden is just on me 
This is my thing, my so-called dream, what I've chosen to be
c'est-la-vie, I'll see you soon again I hope 
I pray all you motherfuckers know I think you're dope
I hope all you motherfuckers know I love you most
Do not ever think I left because I hate you, nope
I'm just broken, unfit to fit in, a villain
And chillin' just ain't in the bag for a big bad
I gotta chase thick chicks and fat stacks
Like the scumbag that I am, that's Conrad
My big fat heart, it exists to bleed
My Ghibli tears, they were meant to stream
And I don't need you to love me back
Only need you to be sure my love is fact

I only know how to do one thing
To speak what I feel, hope it's interesting
And that you will keep listening 
Thinking what I do is neat
Remembering what I bring 
Out of you that you would be
Lesser to yourself if these
Feelings weren't accessible
If you had no vessel to
Feel the things you wanted to
Know yourself in other ways
That weren't imaginable
See yourself as something more
Even if intangible
I want to be in your thoughts
I want to be in your hearts
I fear being left behind
I fear being left to rot
I am not a perfect friend
I am not a perfect God
I am gonna let you down
I can't promise that I'm not
Gonna hurt you very much
I could tear your heart to shreds
I might leave you bleeding, dead
I may just fuck up your head
You can do the same to me
Long as you don't leave me be
Fuck me up and kill me please
Take me with you to the sea
...wherever I'll be

OPEN

Trial of the Golden Witch