Lyrics:
And here comes another one, with roses in his hand
He whispers compliments and speaks of some far desert land
He tells me that I’m special, like a star that shines so bright
I give a polite smile and nod, but this just doesn’t feel right.
He paints a future, rosy-red, with a cottage, kid, and dog
But before he gets his heart broken, I have to be blunt and strong:

He looks at me, so hopefully, his eyes are shining clear
I take a breath, I’m sorry, but it’s what he has to hear.
'Cause I have a standard answer, it's my go-to, cutting line…

Let's just be friends, 'cause that is all I can give to you
My heart is under lock and key, no one is getting through.
Let's just be friends, don't take it hard, and please don't be upset
'Cause if you keep on pushing me, you’ll see a different side, you bet.
Let's just be friends, there’s nothing more for you to find in me
Go find another girl, my friend, it’s really meant to be.

The next one’s on the telephone, he's gushing for a while
About my voice, about my laugh, my personality, my style.
He sends me links to love songs, and writes poems, the true poet
I'm almost feeling flattered, but it's too late and he should know it.
Before he asks to meet me, says we should see face-to-face
I have to pull the emergency brake, with my old saving grace:

He's waiting for a "yes" from me, I can hear the hope in his voice
I clear my throat and tell him softly, before the tears rejoice:
"I have this standard answer, it's my go-to, cutting line..."

Let's just be friends, 'cause that is all I can give to you
My heart is under lock and key, no one is getting through.
Let's just be friends, don't take it hard, and please don't be upset
'Cause if you keep on pushing me, you’ll see a different side, you bet.
Let's just be friends, there’s nothing more for you to find in me
Go find another guy, my friend, it’s really meant to be.

I don't intend to be so mean, I just want to be sincere
Why don’t they ever understand a friendly "no" 'round here?
I never want to cause somebody pain or break a heart in two
But my freedom and my own heart, I have to see them through.
And if there's nothing there for me, what am I supposed to do? I can't force it to be true.

Let's just be friends, 'cause that is all I can give to you
My heart is under lock and key, no one is getting through.
Let's just be friends, don't take it hard, and please don't be upset
'Cause if you keep on pushing me, you’ll see a different side, you bet.
Let's just be friends, there’s nothing more for you to find in me
Go find another girl, my friend, it's really meant to be.

Me again

Still me, but different

Hello sadness

The evening spills across the room in shades of violet and blue
And in the quiet, I'm consumed by thoughts of everything but you
I trace the rim of this cold cup, a circle leading to nowhere
It's just another way to not look up, to not admit how much I care

And I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry
The words are smoke, they curl and fade away
It's not a chapter, it's the whole damn story
That I would change if I could seize the day
The silence screams what I can't articulate
A heavy blanket on this bed we've made
I'm sorry, darling, is it far too late?
Is the memory of us a debt unpaid?

I hear the floorboards creak and groan, a language that I understand
It speaks of being all alone, in a house we built with our own hands
You're in the other room, I know, a world away, a different sphere
And I'm the reason we don't grow, the architect of all this fear

And I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry
The words are smoke, they curl and fade away
It's not a chapter, it's the whole damn story
That I would change if I could seize the day
The silence screams what I can't articulate
A heavy blanket on this bed we've made
I'm sorry, darling, is it far too late?
Is the memory of us a debt unpaid?

I wish that I could build a bridge across this chasm, dark and deep
And take back every little spasm of the secrets that I keep
I'm searching for a white flag I can wave, a sign that you might understand
But all I do is misbehave, and bite the hand that feeds my hand

And I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry
The words are smoke, they curl and fade away
It's not a chapter, it's the whole damn story
That I would change if I could seize the day
The silence screams what I can't articulate
A heavy blanket on this bed we've made
I'm sorry, darling, is it far too late?
Is the memory of us a debt unpaid?

So sorry...
Is it too late?
The debt unpaid...
I'm sorry...
I'm so sorry...

I'm sorry

Lyrics:
Used to be my world was quiet, ticked along a steady line
Breakfast, work, and lonely evenings, everything was neat and fine
But lately there's a strange vibration, a tremor starting in my feet
A low and unfamiliar humming on an ordinary street
It's a current running under, a whisper right before a storm
I feel it when the air gets colder, but it makes my body warm

And they call it love, is that what this is? This chaos in my chest?
This feeling that I'm falling forward, putting everything to the test?
It's static in my bones, it's honey and it's acid rain
And I don't know its name for certain, but I know I'll never be the same again.

And then you look at me, and suddenly the hum becomes a roar
And I forget the reason I was walking through the door
You ask me how my day has been, a simple, unassuming sound
But all my thoughts spin into circles, my defenses all run ground
I'm holding on to my own teacup like it is a saving grace
While trying not to give away the story written on my face

And they call it love, is that what this is? This chaos in my chest?
This feeling that I'm falling forward, putting everything to the test?
It's static in my bones, it's honey and it's acid rain
And I don't know its name for certain, but I know I'll never be the same again.

Maybe love isn't a ballad, maybe it's not soft and slow
Maybe it's a beautiful disaster, a garden I don't know how to grow
It's terrifying, and it's brilliant, and I don't know what to do
All I know is who I was before is not the one who stands before you

And they call it love, is that what this is? This chaos in my chest?
This feeling that I'm falling forward, putting everything to the test?
It's static in my bones, it's honey and it's acid rain
And I don't know its name for certain, but I know I'll never be the same again.

Is this love?
This static in my bones...
Is this love?
'Cause I'll never be the same again.
No, I'll never be the same again.

Is this love

[Verse 1]
That neon paints a different pane
I know the sound of city rain
On alley floors where there's no light
You trade her world for endless night
You see a future in her eyes
I see the place where wonder dies
This city's built on hearts that break
I know that price, for goodness sake.

[Chorus]
You take that sparkle, full of glee
And drag her where the shadows flee
You call it sunshine, fresh and new
I know what this grey sky will do
You think this city is a brand new world
But she gets tossed and hurled
Your little sparkle, a burning wick
This city's patient, cold, and sick.

[Verse 2]
No forts of sheets, just concrete stairs
That lead to cold and vacant stares
You'll kill her giggles, one by one
Beneath an artificial sun
You'll take the drawings from her hand
And teach her shame she'll understand
She'll learn new stories from the grime
And lose herself there, given time.

[Chorus]
You take that sparkle, full of glee
And drag her where the shadows flee
You call it sunshine, fresh and new
I know what this grey sky will do
You think this city is a brand new world
But she gets tossed and hurled
Your little sparkle, a burning wick
This city's patient, cold, and sick.

[Bridge]
And as she grows, day by broken day
You'll watch her colors drain away
You promised her you'd hold her tight
You'll lose her to the U-Bahn light
This place reminded me how to bleed
And plant a bitter, broken seed
You see a gift, a precious thing
I hear the lonely dirge she'll sing.

[Chorus]
You take that sparkle, full of glee
And drag her where I used to be
You call it sunshine, fresh and new
I know what this grey sky will do
You think this city is a brand new world
But she gets tossed and hurled
Your little sparkle, a burning wick
God, this city's cold and sick.

[Outro]
Yeah, you'll pretend that it's all right
Another star in a sea of night.
You say you love her, through and through...
But this City will love her suffering, too.

You take that sparkle

[Verse 1]
Yeah…
We drew the blueprints on a napkin, sketched a city in the stars
Bought the hype and sold the future, never showed 'em all the scars
Promised them a golden era, built on circuits and on trust
Didn't see the wires fraying, didn't see the coming rust
Now the rain that falls is digital, the sky's a glitching screen
And the kingdom that we fought for is the coldest place I've seen
I walk through empty avenues we swore would teem with life
Cutting through the silence with a cold and quiet knife.

[Pre-Chorus]
I see the ghosts of what we planned in every pixelated light
I hear the echo of a promise fading in the endless night
This perfect world is breaking, I can feel the system crash…

[Chorus]
We're living in a Neon Wasteland, a paradise undone!
I'm deleting all the memories, erasing every one!
This beautiful illusion was a lie we couldn't keep
So I'll set this dream on fire while the architects all sleep!

[Verse 2]
You still patrol the borders of this dream we overran
Pointing at the schematics, saying "stick to the damn plan"
You polish all the chrome until it shines just like a tear
Ignoring all the warning signs, pretending not to hear
The core is in meltdown, but you're fixing up the fence
And none of this utopia is making any sense
You're ruling over ashes, calling everything just fine
But your revolution is no longer mine.

[Pre-Chorus]
I see the cracks inside your code, the flaws you can't disguise
I'm tired of the fiction I can see behind your eyes
This perfect world is breaking, I can feel the system crash…

[Chorus]
We're living in a Neon Wasteland, a paradise undone!
I'm deleting all the memories, erasing every one!
This beautiful illusion was a lie we couldn't keep
So I'll set this dream on fire while the architects all sleep!

[Bridge]
We built it all so high just to watch it all fall…
Was any of it real? Was any of it real at all?

[Chorus]
WE'RE LIVING IN A NEON WASTELAND, A PARADISE UNDONE!
I'M DELETING ALL THE MEMORIES, ERASING EVERY ONE!
THIS BEAUTIFUL ILLUSION WAS A LIE WE COULDN'T KEEP
SO I'LL SET THIS DREAM ON FIRE WHILE THE ARCHITECTS ALL SLEEP!

[Outro]
System failure.
Reboot required.
Logging out.
…offline.

Soul Siblings

Neon Wasteland (Nu Mix)

[Verse 1]
Yeah...
A silhouette in a crowded room, just a face without a name
I paint a smile on, play the part, but the feeling stays the same
Every word I try to speak gets swallowed by the sound
Like I'm screaming underwater, watching everyone else drown
In the noise, in the static of a world that moves too fast
Try to hold on to the present, but I'm haunted by the past
Another crack in the foundation, another chip off the stone
Stuck inside this echo chamber, talking to myself alone.

[Pre-Chorus]
I see the fire in your eyes is fading out to grey
I hear the whispers of the words you're too afraid to say
The air is getting heavy, I can feel the coming storm...

[Chorus]
I'm breaking through the silence that you hide behind!
Shattering the mirrors you left in my mind!
This quiet desperation is a war you'll never win
I won't let the static pull you in!

[Verse 2]
I trace the battle lines on maps that only I can read
Planting promises like flowers, but they suffocate like weeds
You reach for me, but all you feel is a ghost inside the shell
A prisoner in a paradise I built to be my hell
I know you're on the outside, trying to break the lock and key
But the architect of this whole prison, yeah, the architect is me.
So I turn the volume louder, let the feedback fill the space
Anything to just erase the look that's on your face.

[Pre-Chorus]
I see the fortress that you've built is about to fall
I'm screaming back to answer every single silent call
The air is getting heavy, I can feel the coming storm...

[Chorus]
I'm breaking through the silence that you hide behind!
Shattering the mirrors you left in my mind!
This quiet desperation is a war you'll never win
I won't let the static pull you in!

[Bridge]
Can you hear me now?
Through all the noise...
Can you hear me now?

[Chorus]
I'M BREAKING THROUGH THE SILENCE THAT YOU HIDE BEHIND!
SHATTERING THE MIRRORS YOU LEFT IN MY MIND!
THIS QUIET DESPERATION IS A WAR YOU'LL NEVER WIN
I WON'T LET THE STATIC PULL YOU IN!

[Outro]
...the static pulls you in...
...pulls you in...
...gone...

The static pulls you in

In concrete veins, the poison flows
The city breathes, a dying rose
We sold the sky for a little more light
Now a rusting sun bleeds into the night
The children play with bones and wire
Setting their plastic dreams on fire
Yeah, we built our heaven on a fault line crack
And we all know there's no turning back

I wear my skin like a porcelain tear
A pretty shell for all the fear
We are the glass-eyed dolls on display
Winding down at the end of the day
Our lullabies are the static's hiss
Sealed with a sterile, digital kiss
We traded our souls for a silicon dream
And nobody hears you when the future screams

This is the eulogy for the unborn
The anthem for the beautifully torn
So let's dance on the ashes of our last desire
And feed our hearts to the growing fire
Welcome, welcome to the final show
We are the afterglow
The future is a cancer in a sugar-coat
The last prayer stuck in a dying throat

God is a glitch in the mainframe's hum
A broken promise for the deaf and dumb
The angels are choking on acid rain
Selling salvation for a little more pain
We crucify ourselves on screens of blue
For a 'like', a 'share', a "we love you"
It's the new religion, the sacred lie
A perfect world where we all can die

Love is a code we forgot how to write
A ghost that flickers in the pale moonlight
I trace the scars on your vacant face
Another product I can't replace
We whisper secrets in algorithms deep
While our hollow bodies are fast asleep
This empty stage is our only home
Under a broken, holographic dome

This is the eulogy for the unborn
The anthem for the beautifully torn
So let's dance on the ashes of our last desire
And feed our hearts to the growing fire
Welcome, welcome to the final show
We are the afterglow
The future is a cancer in a sugar-coat
The last prayer stuck in a dying throat

Countdown to zero!
We are the beautiful ruin!
Inhale the fallout!
Exhale the human!
We are the virus and the cure, so pure, so pure!

This is the eulogy for the unborn
The anthem for the beautifully torn
So let's dance on the ashes of our last desire
And feed our hearts to the growing fire
Welcome, welcome to the final show
We are the afterglow
The future is a cancer in a sugar-coat
The last prayer stuck in a dying throat

The afterglow...
We are the afterglow...
fade to nothing... (nothing)

The afterglow

Streetlights are painting gold on your face
We're sitting here, leaving so much space
And every joke you tell, every time you laugh
It's like you're tearing my composure in half
You tuck your hair behind your ear
And suddenly the air in here
Is thick with words we're too afraid to say
I watch your lips and I just have to pray

'cause this is my promise, this is a vow
I love you forever, and I need you right now
Forget the whole world and the stars above
I'm waited a lifetime for your love
There's only one truth, the only thing I miss
Is the simple, silent, certainty of your kiss
Just finally, finally, give me this

Your shoulder's brushing up against mine
And I feel a shiver run right down my spine
We talk about movies, we talk about bands
While I'm just staring at your hands
And thinking how they'd feel in my hair
A silent question hanging in the air
Are you feeling it too, this magnetic pull?
My heart is aching, my head is full

'cause this is my promise, this is a vow
I love you forever, and I need you right now
Forget the whole world and the stars above
I'm waited a lifetime for your love
There's only one truth, the only thing I miss
Is the simple, silent, certainty of your kiss
Just finally, finally, give me this
Küss mich endlich! 

Maybe I'm a fool to want it so bad
The best, most dangerous friend I've ever had
And maybe I'm breaking all my rules
But I'm tired of playing, tired of being cool
The space between us feels a mile wide
There's nowhere left for my feelings to hide
Ich will nur dich!

'cause this is my promise, this is a vow
I love you forever, and I need you right now
Forget the whole world and the stars above
I'm waited a lifetime for your love
There's only one truth, the only thing I miss
Is the simple, silent, certainty of your kiss
Just finally... would you finally give me this?

Just close the distance.
End the suspense.
It all makes perfect, beautiful sense.
Just lean in slowly...
And kiss me.
...Please, kiss me.
Bitte, küss mich!

Kiss me

Lights down low, the city's moaning
Every nerve in you is knowing
Hush now, girl, no need to speak
Just feel the heat along your cheek
Across your skin, under your clothes
A wilder wind, where only we go
Forget the chains they left you bound
Tonight, no rules, just sacred ground

Oh, I can feel the static, sparking in the air
Tracing every secret, every single dare
Let's lose ourselves until the morning's raw
Breaking every single fucking law
This ain't for them, this is for you and me
Unlocking every dirty fantasy
A hungry taste of honey, wild and deep
Secrets only we can keep.

Remember all the lies they spun?
Every battle never won?
Leave 'em in the sweat, leave 'em in the grind
Tonight, we leave it all behind
Trust the tremor running through your thighs
The hunger in your searching eyes
I see the fire, wet and bold
A story waiting to unfold

Oh, I can feel the static, sparking in the air
Tracing every secret, every single dare
Let's lose ourselves until the morning's raw
Breaking every single fucking law
This ain't for them, this is for you and me
Unlocking every dirty fantasy
A hungry taste of honey, wild and deep
Secrets only we can keep.

Breathe in... breathe out... feel the rhythm pull
Pushing past your limit, taking back control
A little closer now, isn't it true?
The only one that matters, girl, is you
My voice is just a guiding hand
Leading you across this forbidden land
From your shoulders to your core
Tonight, you're begging me for more.

The static...
Yeah... the gold...
A story for the brave and bold.
Just like that... you're mine.

This ain't for them

Gefesselt bewegt sich zwischen kalten Synth-Flächen, treibenden Arps und brachialen Impulsen. Der Song entfaltet eine düstere Atmosphäre, in der Enge, Ketten und digitale Brüche das Bild bestimmen. Ein Dark-Synth-Track, der Härte und Sehnsucht in monumentalen Räumen spürbar macht.

Bound drifts between cold synth layers, driving arps and brutal impulses. The song unfolds a dark atmosphere where confinement, chains and digital fractures dominate the imagery. A dark synth track that makes both intensity and longing palpable in monumental spaces.

Lyrics:

Gefesselt in den Drähten deiner Worte
Sie schneiden tief, sie brennen mich leer
Jeder Satz ein Knoten um meine Kehle
Dein Blick ist kalt, dein Herz längst schwer

Gefesselt
In den Schatten deiner Stimme
Gefesselt
Deine Worte schnüren meine Luft
Gefesselt
In den Ketten deiner Lügen
Und ich finde keinen Ausweg

Du trittst ins Helle mit süßem Glanz
Doch hinter dir liegt kalter Tanz
Ein falsches Spiel, so oft durchschaut
Doch ich fall – erneut vertraut

Ah ah (haha)
Mein Herz schlägt im Takt der Ketten
Der Boden glüht, ich breche auf

Deine Vorwürfe – wie Pfeile aus Eisen
Sie treffen mich, zerreißen mein Fleisch
Jedes Wort ein Dolch in meiner Brust
Doch ich sehne mich nach einer Rast

Gefesselt
In den Schatten deiner Stimme
Gefesselt
Deine Worte schnüren meine Luft
Gefesselt
In den Ketten deiner Lügen
Suche Schutz in dunklen Ecken

Du bist ein Trugbild aus Nebel so blass
Ich stolpere blind in deinen Kreis

Es reicht, ich komme morgen wieder
Doch heute tanze ich hinaus

Gefesselt
In den Schatten deiner Stimme
Gefesselt
Deine Worte schnüren meine Luft
Gefesselt
In den Ketten deiner Lügen
Doch ich genieße jeden Tag mit dir

Ich schneide mich frei
Und tanze in der Dunkelheit

Ah ah (haha)

Bound in the wires of your words
They cut deep, they burn me empty
Every sentence a knot around my throat
Your gaze is cold, your heart long heavy

Bound
In the shadows of your voice
Bound
Your words tighten my breath
Bound
In the chains of your lies
And I can’t find a way out

You step into the light with sweet glow
But behind you lies the frozen dance
A false game, seen through so often
Yet I fall – once more entranced

Ah ah (haha)
My heart beats in the rhythm of chains
The ground glows, I break apart

Your accusations – like arrows of iron
They strike me, tearing my flesh
Every word a dagger in my chest
Yet I yearn for rest at last

Bound
In the shadows of your voice
Bound
Your words tighten my breath
Bound
In the chains of your lies
I seek shelter in dark corners

You are an illusion of pale mist
I stumble blindly into your circle

Enough, I’ll return tomorrow
But tonight I dance away

Bound
In the shadows of your voice
Bound
Your words tighten my breath
Bound
In the chains of your lies
Yet I enjoy every day with you

I cut myself free
And dance into the darkness

Ah ah (haha)

Gefesselt

I’m dirmardor.
My songs arise from artistic zombiosis – fragments, data-light, and dark rhythms. This is the musical side: tracks from my eight ongoing projects, ranging from AI-driven synth layers to electronic gloom and real song ideas. I, dirmardor, and my world, Mahvarion, are united. You can find out more in the link tree.
THE HOME OF SHADOW FUTURE POP

SoundCloud is used only to publish my music, made with SUNO V5 Studio.
No collaborations, no commissions, no cover requests, no marketing offers – inquiries will not be answered.

🎧 All tracks are free to download – no subscription, no paywall. Just sound, offered for your attention.

Everything now runs under the name dirmardor – sound, visuals, words, video.