From fighting pits to sweats and shits
The frontline a fortnight away
In the end you will die in your filth
No mention of honor or glory

A life long trained; bring clout to thy name
Cut short by; abdominal pain.
No fearsome foe; or fatal blow
No hard-fought fame
Just rotted drink

Vomiting, shivering, shitting blood
No word from your liege lord
Who keels off his throne clutching; crying
Fever upon him, ulcers bursting

A life long trained; bring clout to thy name
Cut short by; abdominal pain
No fearsome foe; or fatal blow
No hard-fought fame
All you wanted was a drink 

All you needed was a drink
Can’t plea to dysentery for mercy 
Can't plea to dysentery
Can't plea
Can't plea
Can't plea
Can't plea

Ohhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Dysentery

The mush slides down your arm,
Grinning from ear to ear.
The family mourn in the corner
Drenched in the blood of their firstborn.

My Sword It Looked Pristine, While I scalped your firstborn child.

My Sword Looked Pristine As I Scalped Your Firstborn Child

Oh!! 


Pillage the village distort their corpse
Take all their lives with no remorse
Sack all their loot and kill all their whores
We don't need these fools knocking at our doors. 


Their peasants are weak, their leaders are bleak by this time next week, they'll be dead decomposing in their streets. 


Burn down this town burn it to the ground
Take all their mead and drink it for yourself
Murder and plunder inherit all their wealth
Morale is shattered as they scream for help.


The peasants are stacked. For the counter attack. To find their way in. They must climb a flaming mountain of their kin.


Oh!!


Don't you love that sweet crackling sound? 
Now burn this whole place down to the mother fucking ground!!


Climb peasants climb! 


In the end you succumbed to your denial.
But in the end you've only added to the pile. 

Oh!

Pillage The Village

Screams are heard as the city burns
You can smell the stench in the air tonight
Children weep in the city's streets
Burning defecation and melting flesh
No one here is getting out alive
You better lock up your daughters and hide your wives

Everything is burning and fading away
Including all your children and any relatives
The citizens tonight are dancing in the city's flames 
This place you call your home will soon become your graves


The final feral flower in the shoguns dying days
Armed with guns and cannon and vengeance in their blades
A strict chivalric code to balk is seppuku 
All will writhe in terror 
The wolves of Mibu


This city fades away
This city smells of shit



Charred Corpses On Burning Rooftops While Children Weep Tears of Blood onto Shit-Soaked Streets

The Whiffler forges a path
clearing the way with his battleaxe.
Chopping through crowds or an angry mob
The Whiffler loves doing his job.

Make way! Make way! for the king, I say.
Make way! Make way! Make way!!!

The Whiffler proud of his profession
always marches ahead of a procession.
Crippling, Maiming; no discretion.
No one gets between the Whiffler or his destination.

Go thither! Go thither! for the King cometh hither.
Go thither! Go thither! Go Thither!!!

The Whiffler

Our first track comprised in 887 A.D. 
We hope you enjoy.

lyrics:

Death!




Peasants!



Lightning!

Death, Peasants, Lightning!

54 AD
Arose to power at seventeen 
A puppet on a string for a sick and twisted mother 
He will kill her after he's poisoned his step-brother

Eliminating rivals, casting out advisors
Absolute control will reveal his cruel desires 

Orgies, gluttony, a violent lust
Behold half of Rome, crumble to dust
Poetry, singing, playing the lyre
Admire in the light his city, consumed by fire

Stitch them with fur!

This is art! 

Let the dogs out! 

To tear them apart!


64 AD
Drunk with wine, power and greed
Fancies himself more than ruling an empire 
He wanted that house of gold so he started that fire

As rumours start to spread quicker than the flames
Nero must find someone he can  blame

Use the Christians as goats
Use the Christians as scapegoats

Dip the Christians in oil 
We'll dip the Christians in cooking oil
So we don't let them spoil

Set the Christians ablaze
So they light up the stage 



SEWN INTO SKINS AGAIN!!!


*based on Emperor Nero and the Great Fire of Rome


Sewn Into Skins then Fed to  the Dogs

It begins!

Blades are drawn; theirs too
They clash and slash through mail
Guts spilled, impaled, intestines entwine around his bowels 
My sword withdrawals from the limp peasant corpse
As I pull out the entrails I feel
No Remorse.

The screams I hear suppress my fears
In fact, it's music to my ears
They witness my potential
My impeccable skill

As more and more
Run down the hill
Lining up just to be killed.

Arrows fly, they glide, 
Pierce the blind and foolish eyes
Heads severed; Limbs dismembered
A battle sure to be remembered
My sword punctures
A yellow belly behind a shield
Once again I feel nothing
As blood pours onto the battlefield.

The screams I hear suppress my fears
In fact, it's music to my ears
They witness my potential
My impeccable skill

As more and more
Run down the hill
Lining up to be killed

My master at arms
He taught me well
He showed me no mercy
So I'll show them to hell.

All will perish in my wake


Cut off their heads!


WE USE THEIR HEADS AS PISSPOTS!

Battlegrounds

Populations dwindle,
our numbers now fewer,
as rats emerge to the streets
from the sewers.
Bringing with them sickness onto
death, you'll cry out for your family.
There will be no one left.

Boils will burst as you struggle for breath,
infallible token of approaching death!

Flesh turns to black, deteriorates,
you can't escape this most grueling
of fates!

Hygiene neglected, so susceptible to 
disease, all the streets are filthy with
feces and fleas.
Whipping out millions, such pestilence!
Will there be enough plague pits for all the
dead peasants?

Commoners and farmers, littering the streets,
with all of the bodies of the recently deceased

CORPSE WAGONS OVERFLOW!
DEATH TOLL OUT OF CONTROL!

So let them stay and rot wherever they fell,
I hope over time we get use to the smell.

Now marks the end of an age of splendor,
the west of Rome is lost forever.

*based on the Plague of Justinian

Million Dead Flesh Pits

A Doob For The Slaughter (420MIX)

1! 2! 3! 4!
You're a snotty brat!
You're such a brat!
You're a snotty brat!
The Crusty Dragon!!

The Crusty Dragon

You are addicted to bloodshed.
Addicted to blood.

Sanguinolency

Wake up, Wake up
Wake up, My Liege.
Wake up, Wake up
This is not a dream!

Wake up, Wake up
Wake up, My Liege
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up!

You're killing!
You're killing in your sleep, m'lord.
You're killing in your sleep.

Homicidal Somnambulist

Kill them with a thousand knives!
Kill their children and their wives!
Lock your doors, for he rides!
The DistortedCorpseWagon tonight!

DistortedCorpseANTHEM!

DARKNESS 
creeps inside!
As a bodkin tipped arrow 
Pierces 
Your eye!!
You were not meant to die!
As your darkness builds inside!!

You'll release your hell upon this land!

You'll be marked as a savage by the light side.
When you come around all the peasants will hide.
You'll be enthroned into hell by the dark side. 
Tare their heads asunder from side to side!

Oh!
You are
an
ANTI-TEMPLAR!

Once a member of a great fanatic sect.
Truth and guidance, a great concept.
Disband by the man of power,
King Philip The Fair.
Consumed by distrust and greed,
Extortion is the only way he knows how
to take his lead.

Templaric Knight,
That name is lost.
A man fears great power,
We will show him might.
Clash with steel,
Uncover this great ordeal.
Bring with you sword and shield.
This ends tonight.

Anti Templars Demo

Mass annihilation at its best!
Best to rest your head against his chest!
Brace for the rush as your bones break to dust,
a warriors death embrace it with lust.
Crumble the fear of the blackness to come.
Whether you like it or not,
you've joined the kingdom.

Assimilated To Death Demo

Bred, 
with the seed of a demon.
A riderless messenger carries the promise of,
death.

Born,
raised without any morals.
As a pony it would stomp on little children like toys.

The beast,
it draws near.
It can sense your fear.
Your first line of defence
never stood a fucking chance.

While those who stood their ground,
were crushed into the group.

No arrows can penetrate,
this iron hide.
All grace in this noble steed,
has died.
No army can be prepared
for whats on course.
There is simply no stopping
WARHORSE!

The beast,
now sees red.
Charging dead ahead.
The blood of all your men
is all that will be fucking shed.

No one will be spared.
There'll be bodies everywhere.
Trained against its will.
It's only instinct is to kill.
To search and to destroy,
the only motto it employs.
Nothing shall remain,
this beast can not be tamed.

Destrier The Destroyer Aka Warhorse Demo

Oh!!

Pillage the village distort their corpse
Take all their lives with no remorse
Sack all the loot and kill all their whores
We don't need these fools knocking at our doors.

Their leaders are weak
Their future's bleak
By this time next week
They'll be dead decomposing in their streets.

Burn down this town burn it to the ground
Take all their mead and drink it for yourself
Murder and plunder inherit all their wealth
Morale is shattered as they scream for help.

The peasants are stacked
For the counter attack
To find their way in
They must climb a flaming mountain of their kin.

Oh!!

Don't you love that sweet crackling sound?
Now burn this whole place down to the mother fucking ground!!

Climb peasants climb!
Die peasants die!
Cry peasants cry!

CLIMB!!!

In the end you succumbed to your denial.
But in the end you've only added to the pile.

Oh!

Pillage The Village (Rerecording)

(Rerecording)*couldn't fit in title was too long* :(

Screams are heard as the city burns
You can smell the stench in the air tonight
Children weep in the city's streets
Burning defecation and melting flesh
No one here is getting out alive
Better lock up your daughters and hide your wives

Everything is burning and fading away
Including all your children and any relatives
The citizens tonight are dancing in the flames
This place you call your home will soon become your graves

The final feral flower in the shoguns dying days
Armed with guns and cannon and vengeance in their blades
A strict chivalric code to balk is seppuku
All will writhe in terror
The wolves of Mibu

This city smells like shit
This city fades away
and smells like fucking shit

Everything you love has all burned away

Charred Corpses On Burning Rooftops While Their Children Weep Tears of Blood onto Shitsoaked Streets

Oh!
Kill that filthy peasant whore
left disemboweled like a rotted boar
We do this not for pleasure 
but in times of war!

I LOVE WAR!
I WANT WAR!
GIVE ME MORE! 

WAR!
FUCKING WAR!

We'll fight, we'll kill, 'til the kings lost his head
Rape, spread fear, all throughout his lands
We won't stop 'til every last fucking peasant's dead!
I will kill every fucking peasant in this land!

Rip the limp fetus from the womb 
A peasants death can never be too soon
I want all these unborn peasants guts on my hands!
I will throw all these fetuses into my stew!(My unborn peasant stew)

Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!
Kill that filthy peasant whore!

I LOVE WAR!
GIVE ME FUCKING MORE!!!

...As Guts Spilled From Her Filthy Peasant Cunt

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- Don't forget to stay br000tal!!! \m/  
_____________________________________________________________
It is just as Lord Distruction3000 From The Future has foretold, the return of the savage era of man is nigh. 
_____________________________________________________________
After Distructikon3000 earned the Nobel Peace Prize in 2997 he had been driven into boredom due to the lack of new material in 2998s music scene. He sent his wife Distructikon2500 in time to make the attempt of forming his dream band. He instructed her on every time period and to whom he needs to join. He would watch throughout time as her creations formed. He would then wait to meet her victorious return in the future. Distructikon3000 waited all throughout 2998 and no time changes formed and his love never returned to his time. He decided in 2999 to go back to when Distruction2500 had gone to locate her. He had found that his wife slipped through time and had landed earlier then ment to. She had landed in a violently historic storm and sought out shelter in a nearby forest. She was discovered by the local peasants who had attacked her deep in the forest that they were living in. A violent rumble occured in the sky while the peasants had their grip on Distructikon2500. A bolt of lightning came crackling from the sky and struck Distructikon2500 directly. The jolt caused her to explode killing a majority of the peasants and setting the forest ablaze. She had been destroyed before any other events could have occurred.  Distructikon3000 had made it back in time and discovered the final location of Distruction2500 and only found charred remains and small pieces of his wife. He found a back up memory drive that had contained the final thoughts of his beloved. 

He grew hell bent on his hatred for peasantry and slayed them all in a murderous rampage that inspired the hit single "Death,Peasants,Lightning!"

One hundred and seventy years after the end of the middle ages, Distructikon3000 From The Future had annihilated all the noble lords and ladies and enslaved every peasant his scanners could locate.

He began looking for a select few to start building his empire. 

Intent on forming what they call, six hundred years in the future, a "rock and roll band"; He sought the perfect combination of common folk, noble men and the Gallant Knights of Olde that he learned so much about in the year 2990.

After finding his perfect combination and waiting six centuries through the eras, Distructikon3000 from the future was ready to debut his long awaited dream of being a part of an ultra realistic and historically accurate rock and roll band.

They were known as;

DistortedCorpseWagon
_________________________________________________________________

Unsigned band from Canada, On. 
We record, produce, edit, and create all our own visuals and sounds.

Medievalcore/Metal/Progressive-renaissance-theatrical-deathpunk 


Sir Reginald The Peasant-crippler - Vocals
Heideterich Blaznikov - Vocals/Guitar
Eirikir Skullagrim -Vocals/Guitar/Bass
Distructikon3000 from the future - Godly Drums

______________________________________________________________

Now a kind few words from Distructikon3000;

AVAST! YE PEASANT FOLK! BASK IN THE DEPTHS OF THE WAGON!
______________________________________________________________

A few personal awards we'd like to bestow upon ourselves;

*Didn't die during a joust

*survived the ages

*Nobel Peace Prize 2997 given to Distructikon3000 for ending world hunger by killing all the humans in the final days of the year

Demerits:
*Lost poor Distructikon2500

Distorted Corpse Wagon

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