This track was an experiment with Nero SoundTrax, back in 2006
 It uses a track from the awesome Unreal Tournament 2004 as the main music, with a sprinkle of Soulfly & a dusting of… something else I can’t remember (it was a long time ago).
 The vocal clips are from the film (Rob Zombies) House of 1000 Corpses.

 It is an atmospheric piece of audio-horror.

House of 1000 Unreal Zombies

3 Little War-Pigs

SpongeBag BobMix

You Can Polish a Turd

Reefer Number 1

Shitty Slippers

Tiny Biccy

Word Butcher

I've got wind problems, and I'm Just gassing as the time is passing

PRELUDE
I've slightly, been in a poetic mood,
and thought your heads, might like some food.
So I thought I'd try a random ditty,
and pray it turns out not too, bad.

ACT 1
It was Wednesday in the windy city,
I wound up, wandering willy-nilly.
Running around the winding streets I wove,
Wondering where to find a treasure trove.

Hunting one small thing, amongst this din.
A plain old-fashioned, heavy-metal bin.
Not these new things pressed of tin,
for they are much too light, and thin.
A sturdy thing, to hold my trash within.

Secure enough, to keep dogs out,
so I don't have to run and shout.
Heavy enough, to keep bin-men fit,
and also keeps the gulls from it.
(those evil little flying ......)

ACT 2
Now all along the winding route,
wind unwound, threads from my suit.
One turning more and I did deplore,
for my suit, had fallen to the floor.

Once replete, but now at my feet,
so I must retreat from this street,
while also, trying to ignore,
the look of shock upon the faces
at what the people saw.

A thing so thin it looked like string,
running out of town, towards Penryn.
Then a chap called Tim shouted within,
"It's time to bring the children in !"
Another called out, without a doubt
indeed it was a mighty shout !
"looks like the air has a nip in it tonight"
Wasn't worth stopping, to start-up a fight.

The local police caught up with him,
declaring "This is illegal, probably a sin !"
Constable Jim said "Lets take him in",
then Sergeant MGinn started to grin,
Perhaps on a whim, they both tazered him.

Battered and bruised, black and so blue,
of the pain stopping, there isn't a clue.
Feeling delirious, as things got too serious.
In town for a can, and now thrown in a van.
From going shopping, to becoming indiscrete.
Now sneaking a peek, at the view of the street.

Looking through the slit, shows it could have been worse.
PC Jim and Sergeant MGinn, just got done-in by a hearse.
Now thinking these wounds, can be healed by a nurse,
things aren't so bad, and look less like a curse.

ACT 3
The case is now taken, by a Judge, that kept smiling,
and winking and blushing, sent notes, that kept piling.
Community service, they called it there,
Whatever it is, the Judge didn't care.
He has his new pool-boy, for most of the year,
Wouldn't you know it, that sly Judge was queer.

Drenched in sunshine, and foul smelling cologne,
he took desperate measures, just not to be alone.
Now shouting abuse as lord of his land,
Yelling, "work harder or you'll go back in the van !"
With occasional cooling trips indoors, under a fan.
Watching from the window, only ever showing one hand.

Week after week, things became worse.
The Judge being, randomly perverse.
until....

INTERLUDE
...The writer of this meandering poem,
has no idea of where he is going,
or even if he should proceed
to a point where he might succeed,
without haemorrhage or contusions,
bringing this nonsense to conclusion.

ACT 4
...until...
unexpectedly, the Judges wife, from a previous life,
brought round the children, one fine and sunny day.
She saw him there in disrepair,
and she certainly had very much to say.
The air went blue, some words were new.
I never heard before, a woman talk that way.

With the Judge now in disgrace,
and egg well upon his face.
I leave this horrid place,
at quite a rapid pace.

Now looking back, as a wiser man,
I think I should have had a plan.
The quest now failed, and riddled with gibberish,
Lesson now learned, and I'm feeling so sheepish.

Don't start anything you're not prepared to finish.

FIN.

© Dr. Flay 23/06/2016

The Shed

I've got wind problems

Source FM

15 Percent Promo #3

Welcome to Dr.Flays' Laboratory of musical adventures.
Each room contains a myriad of musical mastery, mystery and mischief.
Here we have the Disco lab, the most accessible and fun room, full of shiny fun things.
Something for everyone with an up-tempo set all the way, full of classic songs you can sing along with, but probably not as you remembered them.

Dr.Flays' COVID-19 Therapy

Dr.Flays' COVID-19 Therapy - 15% Extra Disco Adventure

Regular radio presenter and occasional poet.

Doc Flay

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