Dylan lotus saved me from drowning in the watermelon aisle at the Whole Foods

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (secre x splashgvng)

𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓸 𝓶𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓫𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓲'𝓶 𝓷𝓾𝓶𝓫

@caspywaspy this turned out fckin incredible ilysm bro

- lyrics -
tape my fuckin mouth and blow it shut
anxious feelings every time i roll the blunt
"they don't really love you, fucking cunt"
"no one really likes it when i talk"
biting so aggressive on my tongue
life is so much better when im numb

i got so much to say
but there's no point to mention it
i love to just decay
a void marks where my presence is
am i even around?
am i making a sound?
i smoke
and then i choke
and then i fold
im going deep into the ground

tape my fuckin mouth and blow it shut
anxious feelings every time i roll the blunt
"they don't really love you, fucking cunt"
"no one really likes it when i talk"
biting so aggressive on my tongue
life is so much better when im numb

tape my fucking mouth and blow it shut
mixing different drinks with teeth and blood
nothing can erase the shit ive done

isolating myself in a wooden hut
listening to birds singing when im up
forget about the things that got me fucked

i can't keep people close
cuz of the wounds i hold
some new and some old
but none of them close
why do i keep drowning feelings
and not search healing in all of the people i know

tape my fuckin mouth and blow it shut
anxious feelings every time i roll the blunt
"they don't really love you, fucking cunt"
"no one really likes it when i talk"
biting so aggressive on my tongue
life is so much better when im numb
tape my fuckin mouth and blow it shut
anxious feelings every time i roll the blunt
"they don't really love you, fucking cunt"
"no one really likes it when i talk"
biting so aggressive on my tongue
life is so much better when im numb

all plats

somber w/ casperrr [prod. santana]

u were hoping i'd cave,
i heard u say it but you'd never say that shit to my face
'cos ur a leech baby taking trends and riding the waves
while im above put myself first i'm up and away
ur left overboard piecing back together the frame

got these fuckin people tryna talk to me, yeah
i don't wanna know where u've been or what girl ur with
i don't wanna know that your friends are so rebellious
i don't fuckin know why? i guess ur shit at picking 'em

Got you madder than me
You got your hands on my sleeves 
You try to put me to sleep 
But I will stay awake 
Don't tell me things wont change 
I always hide my face 
You never break so easily 

Take the pain you never had 
You wanna feel for me 
You set a target on my back 
I barely breathe for me 
Been drinking seven days have passed 
I barely live for me 
I feel addiction coming back

I feel this devil on my shoulder
And my eyes been going black 
I don't lack composure when I'm reading through these texts 
You never reply to me 
I never reply to you 
I don't even like these shades of black mixed in with navy blue

i been so lost i cant focus
bring me down now i dont want this
i dont stare much but youd notice
everytime i look at you im on edge

notice how my eyes stay frozen
i keep tryna run but you keep calling
everytime you speak to me its always
turning out the same its fucking boring

being here without you im much happier now
bury my emotions 60ft in the ground
taking my advice ill slap the bitch in the mouth
so the bullshit that shes spewing will stop fumbling out

waves w/ sinxi & erxn

presave: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/sendflowrs/colourblind

(for the first time, in a long time, i started to feel things again, i started to feel happy..) 

and i swear to god i will be there for you 
whether or not it is cold outside
i can’t even front
heart stopped when i saw you
for a minute i was sure i had died 
now you don’t pick up anytime that i call you 
and i’m not used to swallowing my pride 
and you dropped your guard 
caught a hit that had floored you 
i’m out on the ropes but will turn the tide 

so i reject the light, 
sit up and cry 
i can finally see 
now ive opened my eyes
and that girl changed my life
but i guess it’s goodbye
and the day that you left
was the worst day of my life 
the worst day of my life 

and it never was the same, was it? 
oh was it?
i’m sick of calling your phone !!!!
when everytime i see you on it
youre on it 
you hide your screen and say no 
i’m fucking losing my shit girl 
honest
just stop it
at this rate i’ll never come home 
and she just screams in my face 
“i promise, i promise!”
she said she does but she don’t 

she said she loves me, she don’t :( 
i know she cheats tho
and i’m as sure of it 
as i’m sure in the spring the leaves grow
she left me 0 speech 
so i left that bitch at heathrow
now i’m at level 3 
put 20xp in free throw 
i’m fucked up
drunk love
real kiss 
fake hugs 
pour up
care plus
guess i should’ve learned
last time felt the witches burn, fuck
left me with a cold touch 
so i jus smoke n turn up 
get money in surplus

(and i know,
mmmmm, 
but she don’t,
mmmmm,
but she don’t) 


now you don’t pick up anytime that i call you 
and i’m not used to swallowing my pride 
and you dropped your guard 
caught a hit that had floored you 🥊
i’m out on the ropes but will turn the tide 

so i reject the light, 
sit up and cry 
i can finally see 
now ive opened my eyes
and that girl changed my life
but i guess it’s goodbye
and the day that you left
was the worst day of my life 
the worst day of my life 


(i guess i've been feeling... distant from you.)

colourblind (wisssery x noahmadethiss)

~2300~

@lilskeleskrrt @slmnmore

Lyrics:

[HOOK]
I’m on the borderline
Seen death in my sleep
Tell me there’s more to life 
I’m in your crosshair
Pull the trigger let it fly
It’s me and you tonight
I’ll be my own demise
And you won't see the signs

[skele]
i always do this every month should prolly heal up
i think you need me too much
i think i want you no love
painting the wall red maroon
dreams of the champagne
“i do”
know my heart bled
leave you
it’s so hard to see you
i need you here tonight
put the nine up to my skull
i wanna feel alive
hold me until i’m close
i’m saying why do you keep me around 
i always weigh you down
it’s not the way that i want
to make you feel stuck
baby i won’t make a sound 
need you to cover my mouth 
put my head to the gun
and let the steel touch
this is so fucked
you used to love me so much

[HOOK]
I’m on the borderline
Seen death in my sleep
Tell me there’s more to life 
I’m in your crosshair
Pull the trigger let it fly
It’s me and you tonight
I’ll be my own demise
And you won't see the signs 
I’m on the borderline
Seen death in my sleep
Tell me there’s more to life 
I’m in your crosshair
Pull the trigger let it fly
It’s me and you tonight
I’ll be my own demise
And you won't see the signs

[VITO]
Watch ‘em labor away
They’re digging the grave i’ll lay in 
Counting the days i’ve been
Just wasting away
Unfazed by your influence
You saw what it coulda been
But i’m drained out i’ve been hollow since 
Not a lot of those options left
Can you deal with the consequence?
I’ve never been good at this
Nine lives I ain’t got one left
You threw all your caution west
Still breaking your promises

borderline w/ skele & slmnMORE

ｔｈｅ　ｐｒｅｓｅｎｔ　ｍｅ　ｉｓ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｌｏｏｓｅ　ｅｎｄ

i love all of you guys seriously so much.
this is the only thing  i ever want to do, and your support helps push me to continue with all of this; i would regardless, but i'm grateful to no ends for whatever kind of reception is given back. things have been seriously difficult as of late, and so all i can say is thank you for being here. thank you for listening.
shit's kinda cliche when i say that, but that cliche shit is true sometimes, and i mean it; whatever. thank you 
hopefully just the beginning 

prod @cartermetro & @vito2300 

you left (you left)
i crashed (i crashed)
now all we ever had is in the past
(it's all in the past)
i'll stay (away)
detached (from that)
until the very moment i collapse

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
but i couldn't give a shit
hammered down any spite, bring out the knife
lying outside again

and my notes are filled with solutions,
that you might consider delusion
the old me is buried in ruins
the present me is just a loose end
turned off the phone for monochrome daydreams
'cause i don't give a shit if i'm wavy
i mean look at what happened to davy

making a point to you's crazy
crissin' it 'cross like an apple, how tasty
stuck in a drench, while i'm soaking in sweat
more or less i'm expecting nobody to save me
pokemon quest on the blue 2DS
nowadays i'm a wreck, and i stench what i'm craving
heart full of rust,
when the musk fermentates in my chest you can leave what you're hating

i got a pain in my neck, can't stretch it
the hurt in my voice can't be heard over message
so let's make a break where we got no connections
only direction, never perfection
when i talk to the sky, it'll always rain hail
bulimia fucking me up 'till i'm well
"the truth doesn't sell"
leave me for dead with the dread in my head and no breath to inhale

004, blunt force on the baby
there ain't a lure with the potent to save me
getting by as a passerby,
keeping lowered eyes, i'm already hazy
not that i'm lazy,
just marinating in lost time they never gave me
i'm short on breath, should i recollect
or detach, while i'm still straining
i hate that when i fall back into relapse
it's me i'm saving
what a nuisance, when i do this
you're clueless about what i'm saying
so, deuces, 'cause few stick when the roof lifts
i'm sick of waiting
got mucus on my blue lips
from fucked shit i feel on the daily

something ain't feeling too right
losing my sight; bloodshot irises
the people i love ain't alike
give it some time, maybe my view will shift
it's always whenever you're right, they put up a fight
why should i give a shit
hammered down any spite, brought in the knife
i wanna die again

my heart's open
why is my heart open
quick, gotta close it
quick, gotta close it

collapse [prod. cxrter x vito]

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
feat. casperrr & shizukesa.
art. my friends cat LOL

lyrics:

(please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound, of my voice calling out, so that i can be found)

and i can feel my heart sink in the rain now
so cold thinkin that i might breakdown
feelin lost, feelin lonley, and nobody’s around
and in this storm the waters rising and i think i might drown
please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found

please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found
but no matter how many times i might scream
it doesn’t mean ur any closer to finding me
so now ur looking for a ghost
just give up you’ll never be close

(please just tell me now, u r looking for a ghost)

(caspy)

nana~
can you help me now
pick me up from the ground
i hate loving in doubt
cuz that's when shit goes south

used to look for some1 like u
now i don't have a clue 
of what the fuck i should
to try and forget u

(shizu)

thoughts fadin like the blood on my palm
she saying shit the same well bitch im already gone
guess all the friends change
cuz they dk what im on
suicidal lil prick im jus a dick of a cunt
just a pussy n**** i quit talkin
steady smoking until hittin coughin
ion need help 2 know im the problem
bullet to the dome woulda solved em
only fuck around inside of FL but by next album im offing me
and honestly, been so sick of the calling me
like fuck out of my head

my heart sinks in the rain w/ casperrr & shizukesa. (secre swallowtail x hey rick)

watch me, get tore apart more everyday
baby, wish you'd really love me like u say
lately, i been feelin you fade away
slowly, but i know i'll lose you anyway
watch me, get tore apart more everyday
baby, wish you'd really love me like u say
lately, i been feelin you fade away
slowly, but i know i'll lose you anyway    

(all that u do 4 me, is it pitty or love?
the things you say 2 me, do they come from the heart?
have i been a waste of life right from the start
cause im feeling lost, i needa sit down n talk)

i only have u left i don't know what to do 
don't know how to act, defense or attack
i just can't lose you
don't know what to say are things okay 
are you also confused?~
need something to see, something to touch 
or ill lose myself soon

down a spiral of hate, back to the blades
touching my skin,
im losing my faith, in need of a change 
the bloods runnin thin
nothings feelin great, and when you say 
u love me idk whatchu mean 
ill go back to my room and the drugs i consume
and keep doing my thing 

watch me, get tore apart more everyday
baby, wish you'd really love me like u say
lately, i been feelin you fade away
slowly, but i know i'll lose you anyway  
watch me, get tore apart more everyday
baby, wish you'd really love me like u say
lately, i been feelin you fade away
slowly, but i know i'll lose you anyway

watch me. (michael harrison)

first day of the rest [prod. pekarot]

happy bday to me :D

enjoy the original version of one of my favorite songs i ever made... 18 was the best year of my life. thank u timeless archive, solace records, all my friends, and all of u guys for making this possible. big things gna happen this year so stick around <33

i love u

coffin [og]

Big shoutout to @fleshgolem for mixing shizu's verse! <3

1st - @dylaanlotus
2nd - @strivemusicau
3rd - @shizukesaaa
4th - @noxious-nights
5th - @soulfadexo

Hold up, that shit my bad
Put that all on my back
I don’t get along with that bitch but I don’t fight back
Write a couple songs about that shit just tryna take the pain
Write a couple songs about that shit just tryna get away
Know that I can’t find a way to love without it hurting
Up in my head I don’t give a fuck you did me dirty once again
I’m done
I’m done
I’m done
all the times you said you’re numb

Tell me what the fuck is happenin
Everybody’s turned to savages
Half of you started panicking 

Twitching in the floor just let me drop
tell me I’m the one even know I’m not 

I guess
this could be the end
I guess
everything is for the best

How can I trust?
How can I try?
Establish my own in my timeline

Oh no
Now I think I’m running solo
I know I’m reaching for the end zone

Oh no
Now I think I’m running solo
I know I’m reaching for the end zone

eyes rest
wake up
dread cycle
fucked up, shouldn’t tell me I’m your idol
slitted wrist stupid kid, suicidal
only wish ion fold under my goals
bitch you really dont know shit ‘bout me anymore
so all we do is fuck and smoke, you’ll come and close the door
chilly breeze beneath us freeze the feelings left before 
forevermore severed connection as I hit the floor

I found my soulmate had to be far away
like the sky told me my smile has to be paid
hope the day I see you wont be too late
you keep telling me that you wont leave

I love you and you tell me that you feel the same
deep down I hate that im not really there
you know it doesnt mean that I love u less
wish u were here when you tell me to sleep

what did I do to deserve you?
what made you love me like you do m?
why do you think I’m the one for you?
I know I could be so much better

You thought I would play nice
Like following blind mice
To break I’m like thin ice
That I won’t suffice
It’ll never fly through
Why’d you feel so blue
You made it here too
I don’t wanna know what’s new
Gotta get the money, money
I don’t need you honey, honey
Even if you want me, want me
Imma get some bitches on me
And don’t you even dare
Why’d you even care
Even if you try again
We’ll be everywhere

coffin [og]

dylan lotus

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