produced by cxrter & tahtx

lyrics:
(notahero)
heavy snow is pouring outside the window
u know exactly what u want in life
but i don’t know
but i’ll carry on
and i’ll love u if you're here or you're gone
i’ll find u thru the crowd
she don’t know i’m hurting cuz i barely make a sound
this hole i’ve dug so deep
i can’t see through out the ground
u can find me in the lost and found
christmas was never this cold
christmas was never this cold

(backyard beetle)
yeah
as the candle burns real low
the light begins to show
you may be gone but your presence still glows
feasting on fragments and memories of old
i live in a wasteland i ain't never seen the snow 
even then I can't help but feel it's so cold
cause all of my warmth came from you
what am i supposed to do 
when my systems shut down

(notahero)
christmas was never this cold
christmas was never this cold

cxrter, notahero, & backyard beetle - christmas was never this cold (prod. cxrter x tahtx)

at least i tried
but our love died
right in my arms, fell right thru
like it was a lie 
at least i tried
but our love died
right in my arms, fell right thru
like it was a lie 


grabbin a drink feeling hopeless again
on my face's fallin tears, bottle gripped in my hand
outside i look fine 
but inside im fighting a war all alone on the losing end 
losing end but i can't see the end
losing all i have, losing my head 
i fight them off but they keep coming back
like cancer cells, avoinding treatment

NUN TO DO BUT GET FADED
NOWADAYS IM WALKIN JADED
NO SOLUTION OCCURS IN MY MIND
TO MY PROBLEMS, ILL JUST DIG UP MY GRAVE THEN 
IM BECOMING WHAT I HATED
NO PROCCEDURES, STILL SEDATED
TAKING EVERYTHING I CAN TO EASE UP THE PAIN
AND I DON'T KNO IF ILL MAKE IT   

NUN TO DO BUT GET FADED
NOWADAYS IM WALKIN JADED
NO SOLUTION OCCURS IN MY MIND
TO MY PROBLEMS, ILL JUST DIG UP MY GRAVE THEN 
IM BECOMING WHAT I HATED
NO PROCCEDURES, STILL SEDATED
TAKING EVERYTHING I CAN TO EASE UP THE PAIN
AND I DON'T KNO IF ILL MAKE IT   

at least i tried
but our love died
right in my arms, fell right thru
like it was a lie

at least i tried (sorrow bringer)

Reach out try the best that I can
Bleed out when they leave me and scram
I know that's the way that it goes
I know that they'll leave me a ghost
Maybe I'm haunted by this misery
Crying tears inside my sleep
Deep inside my skin they'll seep
I'm just another soul to reap
So I don't wanna think about the end
Or the things that I know that I should've just said
And I still suck at going to bed
Every time I lie down i'm just laying in dread
I don't wanna panic anything good in my life it just vanished I
Just can't understand it
Can't even change 'cause I'm stuck in my habits I

Run, run, where the wind blows
I can't decide so I don't care no more
Like tell me the hell was I worried about?
'cause I don't do stressing for fun
Like tell me like what do you play me for?
I wager my life with this gun
Tell the lord take care of me
'cause I don't even trust in me
I'm only tryna find my peace

Why can't they just get rid of me?

Why can't they just get rid of me?

Why can't they just get rid of me?

Reach out try the best that I can
Bleed out when they leave me and scram
I know that's the way that it goes
I know that they'll leave me a ghost
Maybe I'm haunted by this misery
Crying tears inside my sleep
Deep inside my skin they'll seep
I'm just another soul to reap
So I don't wanna think about the end
Or the things that I know that I should've just said
And I still suck at going to bed
Every time I lie down i'm just laying in dread
I don't wanna panic anything good in my life it just vanished I
Just can't understand it
Can't even change 'cause I'm stuck in my habits I

soul to reap

catastrophe w/ Dear Me & Kellin Quinn

some of my most emotional songs out everywhere<3 love u

Runaway

spotify

runaway (feat. jomie & spookybands)

im sorry that its been a while
the time had made a heart to mend
find me in another life
i swear id try as hard again

a catalyst in heavy dark
your voice and how the bleeding stops
breath in a cold room to comfort
the surface im under for two years in sunder

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

i know its been a long time

silence feels like dying
i dont mind it
i cant find you in colours i had learned to know
olive skin in amber tones, cedarwood in maple grove
eyes low the night before i drove you home
said one day we could have our own
so why am i still here alone?

did you know then it was broken?
thought you cried in the car cause it still felt so far
but instead its just not what you want

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

all that it brings
cold in the spring
whats the point of waking up
if not for you again?
i dont know me now
i dont know me now

Mount Hood

guitar by me

monsters
inside my walls
they like break me
down
until i crawl
save me
i think i lost
the war between
myself and i
leave me here to rot
i’ll take u back any day
with no second thought 
do u ever feel the same
would u kill for just a day
for us
to meet
once again

walls

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

tether (ft. greenwood) [triple gemini]

spotify & apple <3

i don't wanna talk it off [prod. bequite]

helloooo prod me hope u like :)

lyrics:
everybody wanna claim that they know but they don't
so i just pay no mind
everybody wanna say they're in love
but they don't have a clue what that's like
i'm just tryna find a way i can cope
take the blade
take the rope
take the dive
everybody wanna say they're alone 
til they are and they know what my life's like

i look in the mirror only feeling i get is disgust
i don't think i'll ever be somebody anyone can trust
i don't think i'll ever find somebody i can love
take another piece of me
i know you're eating me alive
have some decency
god dammit
this isn't how i planned it
tell me something new
tell me i'm being dramatic
i dare you

maybe i
was in the wrong the other time
but i can't decide
if i should go on with my life
or if i should mourn love lost
but i cannot bear that cost
guess that i am scared to fall in love another time
but with you maybe i will have to try
i'm aware that i am a victim of my pride
but with you i feel like i'll never die

i look in the mirror only feeling i get is disgust
i don't think i'll ever be somebody anyone can trust
i don't think i'll ever find somebody i can love
take another piece of me
i know you're eating me alive
have some decency
god dammit
this isn't how i planned it
tell me something new
tell me i'm being dramatic
i dare you

i don't wanna talk it off [prod. bequite]

dylan lotus

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